The Embodied Jewish Woman with Rena Reiser

It's been a week. In this episode, my husband Rabbi Yonasan Reiser and I sit down to talk about something that's been very alive right now: coping mechanisms in a real, honest, this-is-what-our-nervous-systems-actually-do way. We talk about what coping mechanisms actually are, why we can't just decide to stop doing them, and why the self-deprecation that comes after — the memes, the jokes, the haha-I-ate-everything — is actually just another coping mechanism sitting on top of the first one. I share what my own coping has looked like during this war. My husband shares his. We get into soldiers and dissociation and bitachon. And we close with the idea that during times of intense pressure, the small steps we manage to take — the tiny bits of awareness, the moments of trying — carry exponential weight. Neurologically and spiritually. The olive doesn't reveal its light until it's pressed. This one's for anyone who's been a little hard on themselves lately for how they're coping. Which is probably most of us.

Purim is over. Your nervous system might not know that yet. The body doesn't reset the moment the seuda ends. It takes time to unwind from noise, from running, from giving, from holding everything together — or from not quite managing to. The activation lingers. The tension stays tucked into places you might not even notice until you slow down enough to feel them. This week's practice is a somatic tracking exercise — moving through the body with curiosity, resting wherever your attention is drawn, noticing what each part is still holding, and letting it know you're there. There's a line from the practice I want to offer you before you listen: "You might feel like you're not doing very much. But you're doing so much for your system." That's the paradox of this kind of work. Presence — just being with what's there — is not passive. It's how stuck energy begins to move. What is your body most ready to put down after this week? Listen here.

We recorded this one fast — "recording in 30 minutes, send your questions" fast. The questions that came in were honest ones. About the weight of expectations, the mishloach manos pressure, the teenagers you can't control, the joy you're supposed to feel but don't. The life force that feels stifled. My husband and I sat with all of it. Before you press play: What's the one thing about Purim you're most bracing yourself for? Freilichen Purim, Rena

This practice uses the physical boundary between your body and the surface supporting you as a way to sense into relational boundaries — where you end and another person begins. When to use this practice: Before a conversation where you need to set a boundary When you're not sure if you're taking on someone else's emotions After listening to "His Reaction Is Not Your Responsibility" When you know you need to say no but feel guilty about it Anytime you're struggling to distinguish between what's yours and what's theirs What you'll need: 10-15 minutes of quiet A comfortable place to sit or lie down A boundary situation that has some charge, but isn't your most intense one (around 3/10) Note: Boundaries aren't meant to control the other person's reaction. They're for you — to know what's yours to hold and what isn't.

You know that conversation that starts with one thing and somehow ends with both of you feeling terrible? This episode is the antidote to that. My husband Rabbi Yonasan Reiser and I speak about asking for what you need in marriage, and how you handle it when the answer is no. We role play it. Twice. The difference is striking. If you've ever swallowed a need because you were afraid of how he'd react, this one's for you.

Rena recently read about how to communicate with "Earth types" - people who are highly sensitive and need to be spoken to with extra care and consideration. As she read through all the rules for how to talk to Earth types, she kept thinking - shouldn't we just talk to everyone this way? In this conversation, Rabbi Yonasan and Rena Reiser explore personality types (Earth, Air, Water, Fire) and why Earth types are considered more sensitive. They discuss how Earth types rely heavily on external validation and can be quickly hurt by how people relate to them. But a deeper question emerges: if these communication principles come from nonviolent communication - which helps us see the tzelem Elokim in every person - then why are we only applying them to "sensitive" people? Don't all human beings deserve dignity, validation, and to be truly heard? They explore what it means to be the "canary in the coal mine," why reflecting back what someone says can help move conversations forward (instead of talking in circles until 3am), and the power of recognizing that every person you're talking to is a human being with their own rich inner world. This Episode Is For You If: - You've been told you're "too sensitive" your whole life - You're wondering if you need to walk on eggshells around certain people - You have late-night conversations that go in circles for hours - You say "yes, yes, I hear you" but the other person doesn't feel heard - You're curious about nonviolent communication - You want to understand why some people seem to react more strongly than others - You believe everyone deserves to be treated with dignity but struggle with how to actually do that - You're an Earth type and want to understand your sensitivity as a strength

This is a body-centered practice exploring the feminine work of softening and receiving - moving from "I've got this" to "I need help." In this 10-minute practice, you'll be guided to: Ground and settle, remembering that Hashem is breathing life into you Notice how independence feels - the tightening, grasping, holding on Explore vulnerability as feminine strength - softening your shoulders, holding your head high Practice what it feels like in your body to receive help instead of controlling everything Move between tightening and softening to feel the contrast Rest in the vulnerability of asking for your needs to be met, rewiring your nervous system to receive This practice helps you recognize when you're holding and controlling, and builds your capacity to soften into your femininity and receive what you need. When to Use This Practice: - After listening to "Vulnerability in Marriage: Learning to Need Your Spouse" - When you've been handling everything alone and notice you're tight and tense - When you need to practice softening before asking your husband for help - As a way to reconnect with feminine strength (not masculine control) - When you catch yourself tightening, grasping, trying to do it all - To build your capacity to receive instead of only giving