The Embodied Jewish Woman with Rena Reiser

Ever left a therapy session or workshop feeling more activated than when you started? Like you've opened Pandora's box and don't know how to close it? This is one of the most common concerns about doing deep healing work: once you start feeling, everything comes up. Your system says "oh good, you're ready" and brings more to the surface. In this conversation, my husband, Rabbi Yonasan Reiser, joins me as we explore what to do with all that activation. We discuss why some modalities are so careful they keep you stuck, what it means to find "the right distance" from your experience, and how to let processes complete instead of constantly interrupting them. But then the conversation goes somewhere unexpected: into women's power in the home. What happens when you're trying to regulate yourself but everyone around you is dysregulated? How much influence does a woman actually have? And what responsibilities have we been carrying that were never ours to begin with? I speak about the exhaustion of martyrdom, the pattern of filling up space that leaves no room for others to step up, and what it means to ask "what do I need?" as an act of power rather than selfishness. Key Themes Explored: The activation paradox - Once you make space for one feeling, your system brings up more. This is how healing works! The question isn't how to avoid activation, but how to be with it. Finding the right distance - Not so far from your experience that you don't feel anything. Not so close that you're overwhelmed. There's a sweet spot where you can be in relationship with what you're feeling. Too careful = stuck - Some approaches are so concerned about not overwhelming you that they don't let you actually touch what's there. For people who need to feel deeply, this is maddening. Completing vs stopping - When you interrupt a process before it's complete, you're left with unfinished activation. Naming to relate - When you can label activation, you develop a relationship with it. When you don't want to label it (often from fear), you just act it out without understanding why. Women's power through presence - When a woman can hold her own emotions and activation, finding regulation within herself, she has massive impact on everyone around her. Not through fixing or managing everyone else's emotions, but through her grounded presence. Responsibilities that aren't yours - Two big ones: taking responsibility for everyone's emotions (needing to solve everyone's feelings instead of just being present), and taking on household roles early in marriage that leave no space for partners to step up. The martyrdom trap - Women get exhausted carrying responsibilities that were never theirs while simultaneously feeling overwhelmed by the idea of their actual power. When you say no to what's not yours, you free up space for what is. The mirrors in Mitzrayim - Women in Mitzrayim had the vision of what was possible in the present moment, even when the men couldn't see it. They trusted their husbands could do what needed to be done while they held the vision of the home. "What do I need?" - This question is an act of stepping out of martyrdom. It's trusting that Hashem and your neshama can provide what you need. It's recognizing you're worthy of support while activation works itself out. Destigmatizing activation - Removing the shame and fear around it. When you can recognize and name it, you can work with it instead of being blindsided by it. This Episode Is For You If: You've ever left therapy or deep work feeling more stirred up than when you started You're trying to find the balance between feeling your feelings and not getting overwhelmed You're exhausted from taking responsibility for everyone's emotions in your home You've been doing things yourself for so long that letting anyone else try feels impossible You wonder how much influence one person can really have on a household You struggle to ask "what do I need?" without feeling selfish You want to understand activation as part of the process rather than evidence something's wrong

Have you ever felt stuck trying to create distance from overwhelming thoughts and emotions? Like you understood the concept of "not being your feelings" intellectually, but couldn't actually experience it in your body? In this conversation, Rena shares how she discovered a practice that finally gave her what years of other approaches couldn't: the ability to actually be with what was happening inside her without getting swallowed by it or having to push it away. Her husband, Rabbi Yonasan Reiser, asks the questions many would wonder: What makes this different from meditation or therapy? Why does it work so well for some people but remain relatively unknown? Who is this really for? Together, they explore a way of working with your inner experience through bodily sensation rather than mental analysis - a practice that requires slowing down in a world that values speed, but paradoxically creates faster transformation for those who need it most. This Episode Is For You If: You're a deep feeler, deep thinker, or highly sensitive person who processes everything intensely You've tried therapy or self-help approaches that felt like they weren't quite designed for your nature You understand healing concepts intellectually but struggle to translate them into embodied experience You're drawn to introspection but also crave being truly seen and received by another person You sense there's wisdom in your body but don't know how to access it

What does it actually mean to "hold space" for someone? And why do so many of us struggle to do it, especially with the people we love most? In this conversation with my husband Rabbi Yonasan Reiser, we dive deep into the nervous system dynamics of holding space - from the protective bubble we create around someone's experience to why our instinct to "fix" actually disconnects us from the people we're trying to help. We get real about the challenges of holding space in marriage, why men and women often need different things when they're dysregulated, and how understanding someone's nervous system state changes everything about how we show up for them. What we explore: The energetic container of holding space Why our children need their full emotional experience How dysregulation affects our ability to hear solutions Why "fixing" often misses the mark completely

What if healing isn't about cutting more out of your life — but about what you choose to add back in? In this conversation, I sit down with registered dietitian Noa Miller to explore how nutrition and mind-body work can come together to support chronic health conditions. We discuss how stress, emotional repression, and restrictive mindsets around food can keep the body in a state of tension — and how curiosity, nourishment, and regulation help it return to balance. Noa shares her own journey through surgery, autoimmune illness, and the search for a sustainable approach to healing. Together, Noa and I unpack the complex relationship between body, food, and emotion, offering a grounded, compassionate look at what real healing requires. Listeners will come away with a deeper understanding of: Why restriction and quick fixes rarely work long-term How emotional awareness and nervous system regulation affect digestion and inflammation Ways to approach nutrition with flexibility, curiosity, and joy The power of integrating medical, emotional, and spiritual care

As Elul begins, many women feel a mix of urgency and pressure to change, especially if perfectionism is part of the picture. In this episode, I share why pushing yourself past your limits isn't the path to lasting growth, and how the concept of "widening the window of tolerance" can bring you back to menuchas hanefesh.