Claim OwnershipLive From The 405 Podcast
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The ramblings of Luke Allen, an increasingly unhinged Los Angeles resident who spends an unhealthy amount of time in LA traffic. These are his social observations, rants, complaints, movie reviews, and weekly life wrap ups. From upstate NY. Angry.
393 Episodes
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The Mysterious Whore Of Sepulveda Blvd. Someone “upgraded” the California DMV, and it worked out about as well as you’d expect. One of my biggest Hollywood crushes semi-flirted with me. (Maybe. Kind of.) More like LAME-ian Echols. In one of the worst sell outs/hypocrisies in the history of this podcast, I went to see One Battle After Another, and give my thoughts about it. The new AFI stuff is making its way out there, and people are embracing the weirdness. In one of, and possibly THE most metal nostalgic nights of my life, I went to see Sepultura-ish do Chaos AD, with Fear Factory and Prong also on the lineup. (Unfortunately….in Orange County.)
You have a better shot getting a square deal in Mos Eisley spaceport than you do trying to sell electronics online. One Battle After Another (which also describes Paul Thomas Andersons’ attempts at making an enjoyable movie) I went to see The Hold Steady Saturday night, and then make endless excuses as to why I felt like crap at Vinnie’s (beautiful) wedding the next day.
Work has basically reduced me to Bob Cratchit from A Christmas Carol. (That’s a real high-brow reference, you know you’re in for an intellectually stimulating podcast. Fuck “NPR,” LF405 is hella edumacational) The guy who played Cobra Commander’s voice was a gift from on high. I forgot an important BTS fact from Blow Out from a couple episodes ago and regale you with THAT one, and I say “no thanks” to Charlie Kirk conspiracy theories. (And conspiracy theories in general, or at least people that thrive on them for some inexplicable reason)
Charlie Kirk, with “the usual suspects” at work. I finally won a film festival with this friggin pilot. The Bernie Madoff of movie scripts. The Bourne Legacy and Inherent Vice were worse than I could have possibly fathomed. A busy day at work, but I got to hang out with the guy that shot the Van Halen “Hot For Teacher” video?? Get the fuck out!!
“Somebody up there likes me,” headphones edition. More things that I’m forgetting and costing myself money, for being a dunski. (As the old New Yorkers call it) Couple minor and relatively pointless things about my script, but what the hell. People who cave dive, and have died in caves. Or almost died. And/or the rescuers died too. (Why the fuck do people cave dive??) I watched Blow Out (the old Brian DePalma movie) for the first time and had some thoughts about it, I also went to see the new Spike Lee (ugh) movie Highest 2 Lowest (“tWoOo??”) and was surprisingly surprised by it. I really am extra inarticulate and scatter-brained this episode, I owe you all a beer.
I spend like 25 minutes telling you how good The Insider is. Then I tell you about my labor day weekend, where most of the labor was “the work I put into trying to get laid, or meet a girlfriend.” I went to see my friends’ stand up show at the Improv, and try to figure out if Catherine Keener was there. (I think she was. Was she? I think so. Yes.)
“Luke Biden,” over here. A wild weekend of unhealthy food, booze, old movies, bad service, good service, police, hipsters, heroes, dive bars, beaches, and lousy pie.
The big 405 prize giveaway! The 4’ of safe space in my entire neighborhood to park my bike has been compromised, so now we all suffer. T Dog’s pre-birthday, and more wonderful, reliable service at another California Mexican restaurant. I went to see an old movie with Barbara Hershey and John Lithgow and they were there, and so was the piece of shit director. Nobody saw Nobody 2, and deservedly so. Like the old saying goes: “people that host shows in Glass Houses should have stones thrown at them.” (It was a reach, but I went for it)
No one knows how to write TV shows OR songs anymore, apparently. (Lucky us) We’re up to two white male protagonists in a new Star Wars movie?! The earth might spin off its axis!! I saw that new movie “Weapons” and have many thoughts, then Bokes, Mrs. Bokes, and I travel to Las Vegas to hang out with Billy Biohazard at the Punk Rock Museum. It was a glorious occasion that I spend way too much time talking about. (Can you believe it?) Finally, the eternal Los Angeles conundrum: “Rats or Mexicans?”
Chipotle Incompetence, and at this point, I should almost make a separate podcast dedicated to complaining about gyms. (Im SO sorry) The Bore Of 1812, and a comically angry, tiny, Italian would-be assassin, lost to history…until now. (It’s a good one)
Lukester: The eternal Familiar Stranger. No one drinks at 8pm here. Liam Neeson and Pameler Anderson are apparently an item, and I have thoughts about it. Fantastic Four had a massive audience drop off in its second week, and I’d be lying if I didn’t say it made me “low key” happy. (As the kids say) I saw the Robert Altman movie “Nashville,” and really wished I hadn’t.
Why would the expensive wireless headphones I bought actually work? I went to the Deftones themed bar event in downtown LA this weekend hoping to meet chicks, and it went about is as well you probably expect it did. I saw the movie “Eddington” and 10 minutes of The Fantastic Four, so you don’t have to. Lungs update: “Go fuck yourself (basically)” – My Doctor. The Arnold nod. Motorcycle madness.
“War is hell.” (Seriously) Big update at Golds Gym Venice, get ready. The usual suspects are glad that Hulk Hogan is dead. (Here’s a clue: “they’re probably cat owners.”) AFI: WTF? (take 2) I saw Andre The Giant, and my mom once met…Richard Nixon and Dwight D Eisenhower?! (And other historical Allen revelations!) New aggravation just dropped: “someone” leaving their coffee cup on the filthy sink surface. I went to see Aliens in 70mm at the Egyptian with Gale Ann Hurd (the producer) doing q&A, and shit got wild.
It’s Polish Brandon’s birthday, and Ozzy Osbourne’s death day. (God damn DEATH dedication…) More bands in 90s movies, and ruminations on Kim Basinger’s bush. Ka-mara. Rebuffed by Arnold Schwarzenegger. “Movers.” AFI: WTF? Grant rant. A night out in Toluca Lake, and the impossibility for anyone in the greater Los Angeles area to not fuck up my hamburger.
I think I’m finally all better! (Maybe? I don’t know. At least my cough is gone! For now!) (Nervous laughter) No one plays “lovably sleazy” like Paul Giamatti. Exciting things coming up (I didn’t know how else to articulate this segment) Unfortunately for you, I found out today was the 30 year anniversary of seeing Korn for the first time. “Mecca of bodybuilding?” More like WRECK-A of bodybuilding. A prolific, Los Angeles-gallavanting Saturday, and I went to see Superman so you don’t have to. (This shouldve been a two-parter, I'm sorry. Save it for a long drive? Or if you want to get your wife to leave you.)
July 5th, Chipotle AND Cava incompetence (there’s not a single chicken-slinger in LA you can rely on…), stand up comedy revelations, and I went to see Love & Mercy at the Aero, a motion picture I take quite a fancy to. I also somewhat capriciously yet not wholly unsubstantially compare the Beach Boys to Dillinger Escape Plan.
405, for another 4 to 5. The gas company bandit. Michael Madsen mad me sads, son. The smog mafia. I regale you with my city wide and county-hopping gallivanting on the 4th of July. I mean, move over Robinson Crusoe; there’s a NEW adventurer on the loose!
A prescient prediction about 28 Years Later. Big news on the Starbucks brownie front. My old acting teacher died. (Shockingly, not “of embarrassment” from watching me) Big news on the screenplay front. Bokes & I went to see Harley Flanagan from Cro Mag’s new documentary, “Wired For Chaos.” I went to see Mark. Normand at the Comedy Store, and I did a little stand up m’self for the first time…in fuckin yeaz.
Ol “lilly lungs” Lukie is back, celebrating one month and one week of having this cold! Yay! 405 Chaos. Another invention I could/should invent, but won’t. Jeff Dye & Fiends at the Comedy Store. Among the many other natural attributes I’ve been blessed with, I’ve also come to realize I’m “I’ll be right with you” guy. 28 Jeers Later, and O Brother Where Art Thou. (Seriously, where art thou?)
Why do so many businesses in LA go out of business, only to have the exact same kind of business take over in the same exact spot the last business failed? Sex in the middle ages. Spaceballs 2. “Mobland” (nice fuckin name, as usual…)
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