Espresso

Walking in circles around your suburban backyard barefoot at 2:47 AM with a Propel in hand after a text message ruined your entire life is a right of passage babe. If u haven’t put a shiny butcher knife under the pantry door to check for aliens ur dead to me 💕 Today we remember parts of movies that ruined ur life 🫠 like when Harold and Kumar bought multiple drinks when White Castle has free refills or like Jaws any time u get into a body of water 🦈 luv ya fam cya sundeee for the livestream 🤪-------------------------------------------------Send this to your homies to support the pod!https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi ☕️FOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/💕 WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX🧢 "𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗗"𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟱𝟬% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/-------------------------------------------------

Anyone else remember 50 Cent climbing 3 stories of rusty scaffolding on MTV Spring Break with a  G-Unit chain on or did i make that up in my head?? We talk about the REAL reasons you ended ur situationship 😭 was it bc she spelled the word Texas wrong? Maybe. To make it make even less sense we hear a wild story about senior slideshow Polaroids in the high school cafeteria HUHHH? luh u fam cya sunday for Livestream💃🏻-------------------------------------------------Send this to your homies to support the pod!https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi ☕️FOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/💕 WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX🧢 "𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗗"𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟱𝟬% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/-------------------------------------------------

Pouring a venty cup of pumpkin cold foam on your back while a Mitsubishi Eclipse runs over your shoulder blades is actually exactly what I need right now. wHaT dO yOu wAnT mE tO dO tO yOu Put Texas Roadhouse cinnamon butter on my traps and hit me in the back with a tube sock full of marbles. Stop acting like sitting on a warm cookie wouldn't be the best feeling in the gd world. Love you fam 🫦 see ya for the livestream on sundeeeee-------------------------------------------------Send this to your homies to support the pod!https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi ☕️FOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/💕 WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX🧢 "𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗗"𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟱𝟬% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/-------------------------------------------------

How did you actually meet your best friend? If they weren't wearing a starter jacket or you didn't absolutely hate them you're not actual friends babe 👯-------------------------------------------------Send this to your homies to support the pod!https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi ☕️FOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/💕 WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX🧢 "𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗗"𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟱𝟬% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/-------------------------------------------------*TIMESTAMP CHAPTERS**0:00 - Intro**7:25 - How Do You Meet Your Best Friend?**9:00 - Childhood Best-Friend Origin Stories**18:03 - The Random Celebrity Question**21:42 - Becoming Friends When Someone Falls Down**29:26 - “Bro, Did You Study?” College Friendships**33:18 - How Fashion Creates Instant Connections**36:02 - When Hating Someone Turns Into Friendship**39:42 - The Starbucks Best-Friend Story**45:19 - Why Seeing Someone Be Dumb Builds Trust**49:12 - Becoming Best Friends Over Food**54:24 - The Family Dinner With Almost No Food**59:18 - Sneaking a Friend Into the House**1:07:46 - Meeting Your Best Friend at a Strip Club**1:13:02 - College Classes, Gym Friends & Lifelong Friendships*

You haven't truly had an eating disorder until you eat ten bunless Big Macs with a knife and fork 😙  Today we remember why high school kids are the most ruthless people on earth and why putting Pepto-Bismol in your math teacher's coffee is rat tail kid activity. Don't act like you wouldn't sign up for a government-funded week of going back to high school at age 35 just so you can cater lunch from Qdoba and depants your bois in the hallway 😎 Love ya fam see ya sunday🫡-------------------------------------------------Send this to your homies to support the pod!https://www.patreon.com/benedictpolizzi ☕️FOLLOW ON IG https://www.instagram.com/espressobenny/💕 WATCH BENNY on FBOY & FGIRL ISLAND on HBO MAX🧢 "𝗕𝗔𝗟𝗗"𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝟱𝟬% 𝗢𝗙𝗙 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗖𝗛 https://benedictmerch.com/-------------------------------------------------**TIMESTAMP CHAPTERS****0:00 - Intro****2:40 - Leaving your car running for four hours while substitute teaching****5:35 - Playing indoor ruler baseball with Mr. Bogardis****7:50 - Mrs. Anderson and the hair scarf showdown****9:00 - Proposing high school week for thirty-five-year-olds****12:15 - Hiring pale nerds and the situational hotness trap****17:45 - The substitute teacher with a pet flea in a locket****21:45 - Art class prop comedy and calling the ice cream shop on a stapler****25:50 - Turning in your Scratten and religion class junk resituating****29:10 - Mr. French's Assateague Island elementary camping trip****36:05 - Searing cream cheese bagels on the bottom of a dirty shoe****38:50 - Shuffling I hate Miss Phillips messages onto math quizzes****42:20 - Spotting the Chris Farley lookalike sub eating wings at Hooters****46:30 - Native American lesbian PE teachers screaming about untied shoes****52:40 - Off pizza for four months and fighting the pizza demons**