Claim OwnershipThe Neon Movie Bunker
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Two guys talking about movies, more movies, other movies, and DVDs.
385 Episodes
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Sequels! Savior of the film industry, or unkillable plague spawned in the deepest pits of Satan's realm? As ever, the answer is both! This week, John and El'Ahrai review "Zootopia 2" and "Black Phone 2"! Plus all the other stuff: newsbits, video picks, light arson. You should listen! Now see what you made me do! You made me kill my own brother! He was an idiot...but he was MY idiot!
It's another episode, despite your fervent pleas! El'Ahrai and John welcome Cati "The Blonde in Front" Glidewell back to the show this week, and between them, they review "Wicked: For Good", "Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery" and "Keeper", even though we AGREED to only review titles that start with W, EL'AHRAI. This year, we're thankful for you, dear listener. (And the Criterion Collection.) Everybody dies. Some of us peacefully and in our sleep, and some of us...horribly. And that's life.
A fairly quick show this week, with John and El'Ahrai reviewing "Predator: Badlands" and "The Strangers: Chapter Two". Does more colons mean more quality? Listen and find out! Plus video picks, newsbits, questions, and more! I learned a long time ago there's no sense getting all riled up every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should.
There are reviews in this show: "Blue Moon" and "Good Boy". There is speculation about the just-announced "Gremlins 3". There are home video picks. And leavened through is the commentary from El'Ahrai and John you've come to expect. Step into the Neon Movie Bunker, and bring a friend. There's a family with kids. Do the kids first and make the mother watch. Tell her you'll stop if she can hold back her tears. I *owe* her that.
Three critics enter. One review leaves. Ladies and gentlemen, theydies and gentlethems, children of all ages, John, El'Ahrai, and beloved guest star Cati "The Blonde in Front" Glidewell collaborate today to review "Guillermo del Toro's Frankenstein". Prepare yourself for heights of hyperbole rarely reached outside the realm of professional wrestling! Plus! Newsbits, video picks, and a rundown of Cati's Autumn of 1000 Horror Festivals! You should listen, and tell a friend! I look in the mirror and the only thing I recognize, are these eyes. In this old man's face.
O, children! It's a good episode this week. El'Ahrai and John are here to regale you with reviews of "Bugonia" and "The Toxic Avenger"! Plus there is a significant amount of discussion of hypothetical Star Wars projects, home viewing picks, and so much more, so listen and enjoy! I have an idea! If I sweat some more my body will cleanse itself and I won't be contaminated anymore! I'm already sweating! A.k.a., come lick me!
You know what time it is? I mean besides that. And that. And that's next week. No, it's Neon Movie Bunker time! This week, John and El'Ahrai review "After the Hunt" and "Blood on the Stars"! Which one was the good kind of weird, and which one was weirdly no kind of good? Listen to find out! When all you've got is nothing, there's a lot to go around.
The days are growing shorter, and movies are still coming to theaters. And where there are movies to review, El'Ahrai and John will be there to review (some of) them! This week, "Tron: Ares" and "John Candy: I Like Me" get the treatment. Plus bits of news, home viewing recommendations, questions, you know what it's like. So listen in! But I know a good kid when I see one. Because they're ALL good kids, until dried-out, brain-dead skags like you drag them down and convince them they're no good. You so much as scowl at my niece, or any other kid in this school, and I hear about it, and I'm coming looking for you!
John and El'Ahrai are back once more, armed with reviews, opinions, and (sometimes) pizza. "Kiss of the Spider Woman" and "I Know What You Did Last Summer" are on the docket for today, so gather around and listen! Love is a luxury a spy cannot afford.
Well, the movies start coming and they don't stop coming! This week, El'Ahrai and John review "Eleanor the Great" and "Night of the Reaper"! Which one fares well, and which one is compared rather unfavorably to a previous worst movie of the year? The only way to find out is to listen! Plus newsbits, video picks, and fun questions of inversion! That's just what happens when you're rich and you don't have a job. You get a little crazy.
2025 has had its japes and shenanigans, but now it's time to flip the swith from "The Fun Movies" to "The Good Movies", as John, El'Ahrai, and everybody's favorite guest star, Cati Glidewell (a.k.a. The Blonde in Front) are here to talk about "One Battle After Another", "The Long Walk", and "Together". Plus! news on government censorship, a surprise out of the Hollywood Labor Relations Story Corner (as ever, sponsored by Oven Mitts), and the usual talkety-talking so many have grown to tolerate. You should listen! Back when they were together she could go weeks without anything more complicated than a pout. Now she was laying some heavy combination of face ingredients on Doc that he couldn't read at all.
Good morning, Baltimore (and everywhere else fine podcasts are downloaded)! El'Ahrai and John are here this week to share reviews of "Spinal Tap II: The End Continues" and "Bambi: The Reckoning"! Plus awards from Toronto and strange doings afoot in corporate boardrooms on the West Coast. Listen, and you might just learn something before it's done! If we get any more white people in here, this is gonna be a suburb.
Guess who's back? No, not Generalissimo Francisco Franco, he's still dead. We've got someone much better than him: the Blonde in Front, Cati Glidewell has returned to join John and El'Ahrai as they review "The Roses", "The Conjuring: Last Rites", "Dangerous Animals", and "Twinless"! Sounds like a rip-roaring good time! You should listen! There's sinning in my heart, there's evil in the world but when I got no one, I talk to God. I ask for strength, I ask for forgiveness, not peace at the end of my days when I got no more life to live or no more good to do but today, right now... What's your heaven?
Like a spurned lover, September is here to wreak its vengeance. Before the axe falls, El'Ahrai and John are here to supply you with their lists of the Top 5 Movies They're Anticipating Until The End of 2025! (More airtime than is really warranted for "Five Night at Freddy's 2"? History will be the judge of that.) Plus! Reviews of "Caught Stealing" and "Eenie Meanie"! You should listen! PMS isn't real Needy, it was invented by the boy-run media to make us seem like we're crazy.
Summer is aging. Let us exult with reviews of films! This week, John and El'Ahrai review "Highest 2 Lowest" and "Monster Island" (which is not actually a peninsula)! Plus a bit of news, video picks, and, y'know, more. Listen and you might even learn something! I am to be described as "robust" and "healthy."
In this world of woe and wonder, isn't it nice to know that there's a new Neon Movie Bunker episode this week? El'Ahrai and John are here to review and discuss "Nobody 2" and "Alien: Earth"! Doesn't that make you feel warm and fuzzy inside? It doesn't? Well, the episode is still happening. You should listen! Ollie, you know my feelings about arming morons: You arm one, you gotta arm 'em all, otherwise it wouldn't be good sport.
There are big titles on the horizon this week, as John and El'Ahrai talk "Weapons" and "Jaws @ 50: The Definitive Inside Story"! You can bet there's some good stuff there, Gladys! Plus newsbits and the other stuff. Look, I'm not a crackhead! I'm someone who's escaped being captured! What do you want me to say?
Well, they went and did the thing again: El'Ahrai and John have reviewed movies into a microphone and expect all y'all to listen. Are you going to put up with that? "The Naked Gun" and "In the Lost Lands" are up for examination. Plus newsbits, video picks, a minor correction, etc. So listen! I can live almost with the artwork. I mean, if Charles Manson needed a personal muralist, you'd be the guy.
Too soothe the fire of your desire, the Neon Movie Bunker has returned! El'Ahrai and John are here to rock you with reviews of "The Fantastic Four: First Steps" and "Happy Gilmore 2", and it's not too much of a stretch to say one is worthy of praise and the other should disappear. Plus video picks, Comic-Con newsbits, and more! Listen, or face your doom! You know what Albert Einstein said: if you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.
Now that last week's...unpleasantness...is over, Cati Glidewell stops by to talk "Superman", "Eddington", and "I Know What You Did Last Summer" with John and El'Ahrai! Doesn't that sound terrific? Plus newsbits, home picks, and more! You should listen! Frank, what! I didn't know I wasn't supposed to kill him. I mean, I'm just learning, you have to teach me these things.
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