The Connected Life

Whether it’s a birthday, anniversary, holiday, or vacation—we often attach so much meaning and pressure to these moments that they end up feeling more stressful than special. But what if it doesn’t have to be that way? In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about how their own celebrations have stirred up unexpected grief, unmet expectations, and even old trauma. They unpack why we tend to expect too much from big life events and share what it actually takes to enjoy them—mess and all. From rethinking holiday traditions to letting go of fantasy-filled expectations, this conversation is filled with real talk, laughs, and practical ways to feel more grounded in life’s most emotionally charged moments. If you’ve ever felt let down by an event that was “supposed to be” magical, this episode is for you. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE! Also get your hands on The Tree of Life, an allegorical novel by Justin Stumvoll on Amazon now: https://shorturl.at/hl1n4

Many of us can talk logically about our feelings and for years replay the same stories in an effort to make sense of the pain, yet never truly finding healing. But what if the secret to repair has been hiding in our bodies all along? In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about their journeys with somatic counseling and what it looked like to reconnect with their bodies after years of dissociation, trauma, and anxiety. They share how completing “unfinished” instinctual responses, learning to say no without guilt, and noticing small physical cues transformed the way they handle conflict, boundaries, and experience healing. If you’ve ever felt stuck in your head, struggled to overcome pain, or been blindsided by triggers, this conversation is just what you’re looking for. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

In a modern world with more access to therapy than ever before, the increase in emotional health seems to be accompanied by people who are more fragile and incapable than ever before. Which begs the question: Is therapy a scam? And if not, with so many modalities out there, what is the right path for you? In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about the moments therapy helped and the moments it missed the mark. They unpack why some counseling models fall short, what actually brings lasting healing, and how to find a therapist who’s a good fit for you. From emotional release to nervous system safety, reparative experiences to real empowerment, they break down the most important things to look for—and what to avoid. Whether you’re new to therapy or wondering if it’s time to find someone else, this conversation will help you trust your gut and advocate for what you need.   You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

In this episode, Justin and Abi explore how emotional health, once rooted in compassion, can begin to mirror the rigid structures of religion. They unpack how judgment, superiority, and performative belonging often hijack tools meant for connection and healing. With honesty and humor, they reflect on how emotional health can lead us toward love and humility, yet sometimes becomes a weapon of shame and exclusion. Through personal stories and cultural insight, they invite listeners to ask: Am I using emotional tools to connect, or to separate? This conversation is a call back to compassion, nuance, and the kind of boundaries that don’t require someone else to be “bad” for us to feel safe. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Most relationship conflict isn’t about the issue at hand—it’s about whose anxiety gets cared for. Whether it’s parenting, money, cleaning, or how often you see friends, couples often end up in a tug-of-war, each fighting for relief. But what if the goal wasn’t winning… but finding a third option where you both get what you need? In this episode, Justin and Abi dive deep into the art of healthy negotiation. They unpack why so many of us default to passivity, demands, or self-abandonment—and how childhood experiences shape the way we advocate for our wants and needs. Through real-life stories and playful banter, they offer practical ways to replace power struggles with curiosity, co-creation, and emotional win-wins. If you’ve ever felt stuck in resentment, misunderstood in your relationship, or unsure how to get your needs met without conflict—this episode will give you language, hope, and a way forward. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

When life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to reach for anything that helps us escape. For some, it’s alcohol or substances. For others, it’s overworking, scrolling, conflict, or control. The ways we cope are endless and often keep us from fully living. But what if instead of coping, life was more about what you choose to experience? In this episode, Justin and Abi are joined by their close friend and owner of The Adventure Challenge Bryant Ellis. In this powerful conversation, Bryant candidly shares how his success nearly broke him. He also discusses how his own journey led him from disconnection and destructive coping to a life marked by presence, honesty, and emotional responsibility. Together, they unpack what it means to stop numbing and start engaging with life—especially the parts we’d rather avoid. This episode is for anyone who’s ready to stop running and start returning to themselves. It'll help you recognize your patterns—and offer a hopeful path toward living with more intention, connection, and peace. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Some relationships help you grow—and some slowly pull you away from who you really are. So how do you know when it’s time to walk away? In this episode, Justin and Abi unpack the key signs that a relationship may not be right for you—from emotional distress and mismatched values to unhealed patterns and behaviors that erode your sense of self. They explore the difference between growth pains and relational red flags, offering honest stories from their own past breakups and the lessons they learned along the way. Whether you tend to stay too long, leave too early, or feel stuck in confusion, this conversation will help you build clarity, self-respect, and the courage to choose relationships that align with your values. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Choosing who to commit to isn’t just about attraction or chemistry—it’s about alignment in values, emotional health, and the ability to grow together. But what are the signs that it's time to lock it down? In this episode, Justin and Abi explore the essential markers of a thriving relationship—like emotional resilience, shared core values, the ability to repair after conflict, and a mutual commitment to growth. They share candid stories from their own relationship, offering a behind-the-scenes look at how they navigated misaligned expectations, shifting values, and the fears that come with commitment. If you’ve ever wondered whether your relationship has what it takes to last—or if you’re already married and want to strengthen your foundation—this conversation offers grounded, practical insight to help you evaluate, grow, and build something that can actually go the distance. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Most of us think we’re being observant when we’re really just making snap judgments. Our brains are designed to make quick assumptions—to keep us safe—but in relationships, those assumptions can quietly erode connection. But what if there was a way to promote safety and strengthen the relationship? In this episode, Justin and Abi unpack the power of curiosity as an antidote to relational drama, disconnection, and unspoken resentment. They explore how misunderstandings show up in marriages, friendships, workplaces—even parenting—and how easy it is to misread someone’s actions without ever checking in. Lastly they share how to implement curiosity in ways that are practical and easily doable no matter where you’re at in the process. With humor, honesty, and actionable wisdom, this episode will help you slow down, ask better questions, and create more safety and clarity in your connections. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Falling for someone is easy. But building something that actually lasts? That takes a whole different skill set. In part two of this series, Justin and Abi are joined by Bryant Ellis, the owner and CEO of The Adventure Challenge to take a plunge into what really matters after the first few dates. They explore the difference between red flags and nervous system triggers, how to recognize someone’s true character over time, and why curiosity is more important than snap judgment. They also unpack why so many people lose attraction in long-term relationships, the key mindset shifts that help relationships stay connected and alive, and how to navigate major differences in beliefs and values. If you’ve ever wondered how to spark love and keep the flame burning bright, this episode is just right for you! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Many of us didn’t grow up learning how to date in a world of endless options and quick rejections, and those of us who have don't know a life without it. So it’s no wonder so many people feel disoriented, burned out, or discouraged by the dating scene. In this episode, Justin and Abi are joined by Bryant Ellis, owner and CEO of The Adventure Challenge, for a candid conversation about how online dating is changing our brains—and what it takes to stay grounded and authentic in the process. Together, they explore the hidden impact of dating app culture, how to stay human in the middle of it, and what to do with the fear of rejection that stops so many people from putting themselves out there. They also talk about how to approach dating with purpose instead of passivity, how to create a plan for emotional resilience, and how to build genuine connection in a culture of swiping. If you’ve ever wondered how to date with clarity and confidence (without losing your soul in the process), this episode is for you! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

We all hit seasons where life feels too big to carry—and often, our relationships take the hit. Stress doesn’t just affect our schedules; it hijacks our emotions, shrinks our capacity, and makes the people we love feel like the problem instead of the support. In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about what stress has looked like in their relationship—from the chaos of remodeling their house to raising a new puppy. They share how stress brought out their worst patterns, triggered old wounds, and tested their ability to stay connected. Through real-life stories, they explore the impact of nervous system overwhelm and the small (but powerful) tools that helped them repair—again and again. If you’ve ever found yourself more reactive, more distant, or more overwhelmed than you want to be—or if you’re walking through a hard season and trying to stay connected—this episode is for you. You’ll walk away with language for what’s happening, practical steps for navigating stress together, and a reminder that hard seasons don’t have to break you—they can make you stronger. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Ever felt like asking hard questions about your faith might cost you everything? Like belonging, respect, or the relationships you once felt safest in? You’re not alone—and you’re not crazy for wrestling with it. In part two of this two part series, Justin and Abi continue their vulnerable conversation on deconstruction, diving into the emotional, relational, and spiritual fallout that often comes with challenging long-held beliefs. They unpack the difference between thoughtful deconstruction and reactionary destruction, how fear-based faith systems distort love, and why agenda-free connection is essential for healing and growth. From shifting value systems to the heartbreak of judgment and rejection, they share the real-life mess and beauty of evolving faith. Whether you’re rethinking your theology, questioning church culture, or navigating spiritual differences in your closest relationships, this episode will remind you: you’re not alone! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

At some point, many of us reach a moment when our beliefs no longer fit the reality we’re living. In this episode, Justin and Abi open up about their personal journeys through deconstruction—what it looked like, what it cost, and how it ultimately deepened their faith. They unpack why questioning your faith isn’t rebellion—it’s often a necessary part of maturing spiritually. Whether sparked by suffering, disillusionment, or simply the invitation to grow, deconstruction invites us to reassess what we believe and why. But it’s not just about tearing things down—it’s about making space for love, humility, and a more authentic connection with God. This conversation covers everything from the emotional upheaval of spiritual uncertainty to the gift of discovering God is bigger—and kinder—than we imagined. If you’ve ever felt like you don’t belong in the faith circles you once called home, or like asking questions makes you dangerous, this episode will help you feel seen. Deconstruction doesn’t mean losing faith. Sometimes it’s the most radical act of trust. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

For many couples, navigating hormones can feel like walking through a minefield—unpredictable, emotionally charged, and often misunderstood. In this episode, Justin and Abi get personal about the challenges that come with PMS and shifting hormone cycles, offering a candid look into how it’s impacted their relationship over the years. From the physical discomfort to the emotional whiplash, Abi shares what it feels like to be in a hormone storm, while Justin gives voice to what it’s like to be on the receiving end. Together, they unpack misconceptions and dig into the power of validation, emotional ownership, and learning to communicate clearly—even when your nervous system is screaming. If you've ever felt crazy, dismissed, powerless, or unsure how to support your partner (or be supported), this episode is for you. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Setting boundaries can sound easy in theory. But trying to implement boundaries when your nervous system is fried and you're knee-deep in a conversation that’s going off the rails is a whole different story. At times it can feel impossible, but with the right tools, anyone can become good at it. In part two of this series, Justin and Abi get personal about the real-life messiness of learning to set and hold boundaries in romantic relationships. They talk about how unresolved childhood patterns shaped their earliest conflicts, how compassion without boundaries created chaos, and how learning to communicate needs around capacity, time, and space helped protect their connection. They also open up about the painful trial-and-error of figuring out what respect looks like in practice—not just in intention. If you've ever felt guilty for needing space, afraid to disappoint someone, or confused about how to set boundaries without creating more distance—this episode is for you. You won’t want to miss out. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

For many of us, setting boundaries sounds reasonable outside of a romantic relationship. But what happens once you’re in deep—sharing a life, a home, and a bed? How do you navigate that kind of nearness? In part one of this two part series, Justin and Abi get personal about the power of boundaries inside a romantic relationship. They unpack the painful dance between autonomy and connection and share the chaos of their early years: the unspoken expectations, the fights about leaving parties, and the struggle to find themselves without losing each other. They also discuss how healthy boundaries preserve individuality while also becoming bridges to intimacy. If you want to create a thriving relationship where both parties feel secure to be fully themselves this series is just what you’re looking for. You won’t want to miss out. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Most of us never learned how to share pain in a way that brings us closer. Instead, we vent, shut down, accuse, or spiral into fear—hoping to feel understood but often creating more disconnection in the process. But it doesn’t have to be that way. In part two of this two-part series, Justin and Abi get practical about how to communicate pain in a way that invites connection. They unpack how all-or-nothing language, judgment, and emotional weaponization drive partners further apart. They also share vulnerable stories about the moments they got it wrong, the mindset shifts that changed everything, and the practical tools they now use to stay safe and soft—even in conflict. Lastly, they explore the power of self-awareness, inward communication, emotional nuance, and learning to narrate what’s really happening inside. If you’ve ever wanted to be heard without hurting someone, or feel safer sharing your emotions without shutting your partner down, this episode is a powerful guide for building the kind of trust and closeness you’ve always wanted. Don’t miss out! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Most of us were never taught how to share pain in a way that brings connection. We were taught to explode, shut down, or stay silent—and those patterns don’t just disappear when we get into relationships. In this episode, Justin and Abi explore the messy ways they both used to express pain—and the chaos it created in their marriage. From nonverbal shutdowns to emotional overwhelm and assumptions that turned into judgments, they explain how unspoken pain builds walls and leaves both people feeling powerless. You’ll hear how their childhoods shaped their reactions, how misreading each other’s signals led to bigger disconnects, and what it took to begin rewiring those patterns. If you’ve ever been told you’re “too much” when you try to share your feelings—or you find yourself constantly shutting down instead of opening up—this episode will help you understand why. This is part one of a two-part series—don’t miss it. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Empathy can be one of the most destructive forces to connection—or one of the most powerful. Without it, relationships become cold and judgmental. But too much of it, without boundaries, and we lose ourselves trying to carry everyone else’s pain. So how do we find that middle ground? In this episode, Justin and Abi unpack what healthy empathy looks like, and what happens when it gets twisted into judgment or codependency. They share raw and personal stories from their own marriage—navigating chronic illness, financial stress, different upbringings, and PTSD—to show how empathy helped them heal long-standing patterns of resentment, disconnection, and pain. You’ll learn the difference between cognitive and affective empathy, how boundaries make empathy safer, and why being “too empathetic” can actually be a sign of unprocessed trauma. If you’ve ever struggled with being too empathetic, not empathetic enough, or confused about what empathy should look like in healthy relationships, this conversation is a game-changer. Don’t miss out! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don’t forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!