Coffee With Caregivers

"how good it is when I can stop clinging to the illusion of control and just living and being present in today." What a fun, informative episode with Crystal Paine (www.moneysavingmom.com) who is a New York Times bestselling author, a popular speaker, the host of The Crystal Paine Show, and the founder of one of the top personal finance blogs on the web, MoneySavingMom.com. Her desire is to help women across the globe live with more joy in their everyday lives. Her biggest passions are helping women understand how the Gospel can radically transform their lives, raising awareness for foster care, and finding great deals at the grocery store. She lives with her husband and six kids in the Nashville, Tennessee area. We chatted about how she unexpectedly found herself as a mom to a child with disabilities when her foster care journey turned into an adoption. She also shared about how this transition was difficult for some of her older children in the beginning but with time, they have become their newest brother's biggest advocate! She also gave overwhelmed caregivers lots of time saving tips from her latest book The Time Saving Mom. To learn more, check out the links below. Crystal PaineOwner/Blogger | Money Saving Mom, LLCMoneySavingMom.com | CrystalPaine.com | YourBloggingMentor.comTo stay connected with Jess, head to www.jessplusthemess.com.  If you are interested in being a guest please reach out to hello@thelucasproject.org. I'd love to hear what you think, so please rate and review!This episode is sponsored by www.CapeAble.com. Weighted blankets. Weighted Wearables and Sensory Products. Use code CARE15 at checkout to try out one of these amazing products at 15% off.

“I was moving up the corporate ladder and making an impact as a black female in tech. I am transparent with my employers and they know that I am a caregiver. It’s a double-edged sword because although they know I’m a caregiver, employers do not fully understand the magnitude of what that comes with. I became a single mother as well shortly after learning about my twin's diagnosis. Although I had many accolades in my career, I was at a fork in the road. My last job tried its best to support me as a caregiver, but after almost losing my home from taking unpaid FMLA twice, exhausting all of my savings while paying for deductibles for my daughter's care and losing our in-home nursing care, I put my pride aside and left my 6-figure IT job” Melanie Oates is a nonprofit founder, speaker, and advocate for parent caregivers like herself. She grew up extremely fascinated with technology and earned a Bachelor's Degree in Computer Science from Bethune-Cookman University. Melanie has shattered the glass ceiling with over 15 years of experience in the tech space, and has broken many barriers at billion dollar companies as a black female in tech. Despite her accomplishments in the corporate sector, she made the life-changing decision to end her career to focus on her family. While this decision did not come easily, she knew it was best because as an attempted suicide survivor, she knew she could not risk another mental health crisis. From sleepless nights to working on her computer behind the wheel while traveling to appointments, Melanie took the leap of faith in 2020 and has not looked back. To stay connected with Jess, head to www.jessplusthemess.com.  If you are interested in being a guest please reach out at jess@thelucasproject.org. I'd love to hear what you think, so please rate and review!

"Don't panic (about the future). Get a will, get a special needs trust and have faith that it will work out."  Dr. Mary Barbera “fell” into the autism world in 1999 when her first-born son, Lucas was diagnosed with autism. Since then, Mary transformed from a confused and overwhelmed parent to a Board-Certified Behavior Analyst and best-selling author.  After earning a PhD, Mary launched her first online course in early 2015 and later built additional courses and a membership program to help both parents and autism professionals. Mary’s latest book Turn Autism Around, her online courses, weekly podcast and social media posts help parents and professionals start turning things around for young children with early signs of autism and older children with an autism diagnosis who are still struggling with talking, tantrums, eating, sleeping and potty training. For more information go to marybarbera.com. Attend a free workshop to learn more:  marybarbera.com/workshop And on all social media channels: https://MaryBarbera.com/Facebook https://MaryBarbera.com/Youtube https://MaryBarbera.com/Instagram https://MaryBarbera.com/TikTok To stay connected with Jess, head to www.jessplusthemess.com.  If you are interested in being a guest please reach out to jess@thelucasproject.org. I'd love to hear what you think, so please rate and review!

"You have to find ways to get laughter into your day because life is heavy." Amy McCoy is an autism parent, children’s author and disability educator. Her debut children’s novel, Little Big Sister, shares the sibling perspective of growing up with a brother who has autism. Amy combines her expertise as a former elementary school teacher with her experience of parenting a child with autism as she visits elementary schools, libraries, bookstores, and parenting groups offering interactive presentations highlighting disability awareness. Amy’s children, Matthew and Kathryn, are the inspiration for her books and her work. Learn more at www.littlebigsisterbook.com. To stay connected with Jess, head to www.jessplusthemess.com.  If you are interested in being a guest please reach out at jess@thelucasproject.org. I'd love to hear what you think, so please rate and review!

“People need to understand the pain and the suffering before we’ll see change.” In this episode of Coffee with Caregivers, Jess chats with Vance and Kristy Goforth in an extremely vulnerable and honest conversation about life as a caregiver to Joshua, their son with profound special needs.  They discuss the details from Joshua’s aggressive behavior to their mental health struggles as his caregivers and Vance’s eventual health problems which were stress induced. They also discuss why we need to desperately raise awareness for caregivers in order to gain the resources that are needed.  To learn more about the Goforths, please follow them at Facebook/A Voice for Joshua Instagram/ A Voice for Joshua  #severeautism #caregiver #coffeewithcaregivers #autism

“I would feel like my son represented the pain.” Callie “I’m supposed to love you and nurture you but right now when I am elbow deep in diarrhea, I am full of rage.” Callie “Praise Jesus my baby lived so I’m not allowed to speak about the difficulties.” Jess “Moms need to speak the truth so that we can see change.” Jess “Somehow in my mind I was supposed to muscle through this.” Callie “ I wish I would have raised my hand and said, I need help.” Callie “You are just in a state of existence.” Callie [I thought] “Yes, I’m glad he’s home, but I’m also terrified that he’s home.” Callie “I had three different doctors diagnose me with PTSD in those days.” Callie. In this episode of Coffee with Caregivers, Jess sits down with her friend Callie Daruk, an award-winning author and speaker. She is also a hands-on mother of three spirited boys. After nearly a year-long stay in the NICU with one of her twins who was diagnosed with necrotizing enterocolitis, her rose-colored glasses shattered. Her new book, What Does God Want You to do Before You Die, details her traumatic but hopeful story. She also serves as the Chapter President of Word Weavers Int., and her writing has appeared in Guideposts, The Upper Room, Focus on the Family, Kids Clubhouse, Charisma, Just 18 Summers and Nashville Christian Voice magazines. Jess and Callie go deep in this conversation, discussing symptoms of PTSD that they each experienced after the birth of their children, the “miracle baby” syndrome, and how desperately they needed help during the earliest days as special needs moms.

“We hear a lot – he doesn’t look like he has autism.”  In this episode of Coffee with Caregivers, Jess sits down with her friend Sarah Broady, a wife and mom to three boys including Sam who has autism. They chat (and laugh a lot!) about how they each crave community, how people often misunderstand her son Sam because he is high functioning, and how people can better accommodate caregivers like herself. Sarah is also a writer, advocate, speaker, and podcast host of A Special Hope. Her greatest passion is encouraging weary hearts. You can find her at www.hopeinautism.com.

 “Don’t be afraid of THAT kid…Their needs are actually pretty simple.”  In this episode of Coffee with Caregivers, Jess sits down with Ryan, her husband and Lucas’s adopted dad. They talk about how Ryan felt the first time he met Lucas, his past, present, and future worries about caring for him and what stresses him out and how he tries to relieve that stress. In addition to caring for Lucas, Ryan is dad to 7 other children and enjoys flipping houses and fishing.

"The average person really has no idea how to help caregivers.” Lindsay Spitler  In this debut episode of Coffee with Caregivers, Jess sits down with one of her oldest and dearest friends Lindsay Spitler to discuss life as a caregiver to her 16 year old son Lucas who has profound special needs. In addition to caring for the Lucas, Jess has 7 other children, is married to her husband Ryan, is a published author, speaker, founder of the non-profit The Lucas Project and now podcast host. During this episode, Jess and Lindsay talk about the details of Lucas’s needs, what a daily routine looks like for him, and some common misconceptions that others may have about her life as a caregiver.  They also dive into one of Jess’s favorite subjects – self-care and how she manages to prioritize pockets of time for herself in the midst of the chaos.  Jess can be found at www.jessplusthemess.com.

In this episode of Coffee with Caregivers, Jess welcomes Tyler Hudson, an advocate and father of a son with profound autism. Tyler shares his family's journey from Texas to Australia, the challenges they faced with their son Lyric's regressive autism, and the impact of living in a rural area. They discuss the difficulties of elopement, nonverbal communication, and the transition to adulthood for children with autism. Tyler touches on the broader societal implications of the growing autism population and the need for more research and resources. The episode concludes with insights into his advocacy work and the importance of addressing all potential causes of autism.

He said, "You don't have to be a hero... you don't have to save the baby's life."Jillian Benfield is a former journalist and news anchor. She holds a broadcast journalism degree from the University of Georgia. As a freelance writer, her essays about living an unexpected life have appeared on sites such as TODAY, Good Morning America, Yahoo! News, and ABC News. Jillian regularly advocates for the full inclusion of people with disabilities in her writings, in her community, and as a part of the National Down Syndrome Congress’s National Down Syndrome Advocacy Coalition. Jillian and her husband, Andy, and their three children make their home on Florida’s Space Coast. Learn more atjillianbenfield.com.To stay connected with Jess, head to www.jessplusthemess.com.  If you are interested in being a guest please reach out to hello@thelucasproject.org. I'd love to hear what you think, so please rate and review!

Jason Hague is an associate pastor of Christ’s Center Church, a mid-size church in Oregon, one of the least churched areas in the United States. He is a husband and a father to five children, including Jack, his seventeen-year-old son with non-verbal autism. Jason has written extensively on the subject of faith and autism, special needs families, and his own journey from grief to acceptance of his son’s condition. He blogs at JasonHague.com, and on his Facebook page, Jason Hague, writer. The success of his blog and the viral video he posted there, A Reflection of Aching Joy, led to his first book with NavPress in 2018. Aching Joy: Following God through the Land of Unanswered Prayer was warmly received by church and special needs communities. The book won a Cascade Award for best memoir in 2019. Jason has been a guest on numerous podcasts and radio shows such as Focus on the Family, and his writing has appeared in Christianity Today, Ann Voskamp, Fathom Magazine, and Finding Cooper’s Voice.  To stay connected with Jess, head to www.jessplusthemess.com.  If you are interested in being a guest please reach out to info@thelucasproject.org. We'd love to hear what you think, so please rate and review! This episode is sponsored by True North Disability Planning, to make disability planning accessible to all. To find out more, visit www.truenorthdisabilityplanning.com.

Debbie, at 50, woke up to the realization that life was too short to be spent prioritizing others over herself. She ditched "I can't" for "Maybe I can," shedding her victim mentality and refusing to let struggles define her. Recently widowed, she's more determined than ever to share her message. Her debut memoir, "On Second Thought... Maybe I Can," earned praise from Jack Canfield, co-author of The Chicken Soup of the Soul® series. Through her memoir and engaging talks, Debbie courageously bares her soul, reminding others they're not alone. Life is tough, but she's proof that dreams are worth pursuing. You can follow Debbie at: Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@debbierweiss Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/debbie.r.weiss/ Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/maybeican Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/debbierweissauthor Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/maybe-i-can-with-debbie-weiss/id1676123222 Website: www.debbierweiss.com Email: debbie@debbierweiss.com To stay connected with Jess, head to www.jessplusthemess.com.  If you are interested in being a guest please reach out to info@thelucasproject.org. We'd love to hear what you think, so please rate and review! This episode is sponsored by True North Disability Planning, to make disability planning accessible to all. To find out more, visit www.truenorthdisabilityplanning.com.

Kelley Coleman is a feature film development executive turned author and advocate for parent caregivers and individuals with disabilities. Her book Everything No One Tells You About Parenting a Disabled Child: Your Guide to the Essential Systems, Services, and Supports draws upon over a decade of advocacy, gained through her own journey parenting a child with multiple disabilities. Kelley lives in Los Angeles with her husband, two boys, and her son’s trusty service dog.  To stay connected with Jess, head to www.jessplusthemess.com.  If you are interested in being a guest please reach out to info@thelucasproject.org. We'd love to hear what you think, so please rate and review! This episode is sponsored by True North Disability Planning, to make disability planning accessible to all. To find out more, visit www.truenorthdisabilityplanning.com.

Eileen Lamb, author of "All Across The Spectrum" and “Be The One,” is the founder of The Autism Cafe. She’s also a photographer, podcast host and the Director of Social Media at Autism Speaks. Born in France, Eileen now lives in Austin, Texas, with her two sons, Charlie (11) and Jude (8), and their sister, Billie (1). On her blog, she shares the ups and downs of raising two children with autism, one with profound autism, while being on the autism spectrum herself. To stay connected with Jess, head to www.jessplusthemess.com.  If you are interested in being a guest please reach out to info@thelucasproject.org. We'd love to hear what you think, so please rate and review! This episode is sponsored by True North Disability Planning, to make disability planning accessible to all. To find out more, visit www.truenorthdisabilityplanning.com.

Crystal Polk is a mental health therapist and Licensed Independent Social Worker in South Carolina, specializing in supporting parents of children with disabilities and medical needs through her practice, Better Tomorrow Therapy. Featured in the film "Unseen," Crystal's impactful work has gained recognition. While she may describe herself as a "nervous interviewee," Crystal thrives in her role on the other side of the chair as a therapist, where her passion for providing crucial support shines through. Her dedication to making a meaningful impact on mental health, sharing expertise, and contributing to the well-being of families facing unique circumstances is evident in her love for being a therapist. Beyond her clinical practice, Crystal actively contributes to professional development by conducting training sessions at institutions like the Medical University of South Carolina (MUSC) and the National Association of Social Workers (NASW), underscoring her commitment to knowledge-sharing in the mental health community.   To stay connected with Jess, head to www.jessplusthemess.com.  If you are interested in being a guest please reach out to info@thelucasproject.org. We'd love to hear what you think, so please rate and review! This episode is sponsored by True North Disability Planning, to make disability planning accessible to all. To find out more, visit www.truenorthdisabilityplanning.com.

About Alice:"I was raised with three siblings, Pake, Reba, and Susie McEntire, two hard working parents, Clark and Jackie McEntire. 11 first cousins, a grandpap, John McEntire, two maternal Grandparents, Elvin and Reba Smith, and one extra special hired hand Louie Sandman, on a working cattle ranch in se Oklahoma in the 50's thru 1980. There wasn't much our bunch couldn't accomplish or trouble we kids couldn't get into. With horses, cattle, rattle snakes, muddy ponds, a ropin' pen, dogs, and worn out pickups what would anyone expect. I wouldn't trade my life for anyone's in the world. We were poor and didn't know it or care. I married my husband Robert in 1980 and we raised four children on our ranch in Lane, Oklahoma. Children are Vince Beck, Garett Beck Smith, Trevor Foran and Haley Foran. All my children still live in Atoka County, Oklahoma.Our daughter Haley was born in 1986 with a condition called Trisomy 18 or Edwards Syndrome. She was the baby, and her condition was unknown to us at her birth, a complete surprise. We have done some research, and she is the second oldest living person in Oklahoma with this Syndrome. Life expectancy is about 24 hours if they survive birth. She is 39 years old today. I worked for Dept of Human Services for 28 yrs and worked for DDSD Developmental Disability Services Division for 5 years learning and delivering services to individuals with disabilities. I presently contract with the State of Oklahoma as an Agency Companion. In 1986, there were no educational services for children with disabilities in Atoka County.  I helped organize the parents and school administrators to create a coop that served the children in one location. Later that disbanded as the Administrators realized they could provide those services on their own campuses. Education and pushy parents can get things done. I retired in 2002 from DHS and worked caring not only for Haley but for our parents Clark and Jackie McEntire, who are now deceased. My husband and I operate two cattle ranches, an Air B & B in Atoka, and a small mom and pop cafe in Atoka. We are very active in our church and attend as many athletic functions as we can for the grands. We have 8 grandchildren and 5 great grandchildren. I worked for 11 years with the Atoka Trail Riders Assoc. to build a new facility South of Atoka in Tushka, Oklahoma. I am very proud of that accomplishment. My dad helped create this association in the early '60s and the original facility was torn down and we relocated to a beautiful location 11 years ago. We provide equestrian events, rodeos, tractor pulls, concerts, and Bull Ridings. Lots of action. We give scholarships and help with local charities.  I am very civic, religious, politically minded and feel that all these attributes can be wrapped up in a way that we work together and get things accomplished for God's glory.  I just want to add that I never, since Haley was born, have been without help in caring for her. God gave me a blessing and helped me take care of her. I could write a book."To stay connected with Jess, head to www.jessplusthemess.com.  If you are interested in being a guest please reach out to info@thelucasproject.org. We'd love to hear what you think, so please rate and review! This episode is sponsored by True North Disability Planning, to make disability planning accessible to all. To find out more, visit www.truenorthdisabilityplanning.com.

In this episode of Coffee With Caregivers, Jess welcomes Kari Baker, a woman of deep faith, podcaster, author, and founder of Kind Families. Kari shares her heartfelt journey as a caregiver to her son Brady, diagnosed with autism at the age of three. She discusses the challenges, growth, and blessings she and her family have experienced, highlighting her faith and resilience. Discover how her story has led to the formation of Kind Families (Kids with Invisible Neurological Differences), a resourceful platform for families navigating similar paths, and learn about her advocacy work, experiences, and the impact of faith in her life. Join us for an inspiring conversation about acceptance, perseverance, and the pursuit of creating a supportive community for all.Kari's Websites:https://kariabaker.comKIND Families

In this insightful episode of Coffee with Caregivers, Jess sits down with Russ Ewell, a remarkable caregiver and father of three, including two sons with special needs. Russ shares his family's story, detailing their journey after discovering his eldest son had Down Syndrome at birth and later learning his second son had autism. He talks about the challenges they faced, the learning curve they navigated, and their innovative approaches to ensure their children's development and inclusion. Russ also discusses his work with the Bay Area Christian Church, his technology startup Digital Scribbler focused on inclusive software, and various programs he's initiated to support special needs families. Tune in to hear about the importance of empathy, humility, and community support in the life of a caregiver.Russ's Websites:russewell.comDeep SpiritualityRuss's book: He's Not Who You Think He Is

Kelli Stuart is a wife, mother of five, actress and filmmaker, an award-winning novelist and, most recently, a breast cancer survivor. Kelli and her husband, Lee, were thrust into their roles as caregivers when they adopted their youngest son, Sawyer, from China in 2018. Sawyer is a complex little boy with a laundry list of special needs. He also possesses the most magical smile this side of heaven. Kelli juggles the many needs under her roof alongside her own deep-rooted desire to create and craft stories. She doesn't always juggle well, but she does the best she can. You can find Kelli chronicling the daily ups and downs of life on her Instagram feed @kellistuartauthor.To stay connected with Jess, head to www.jessplusthemess.com.  If you are interested in being a guest please reach out to info@thelucasproject.org. We'd love to hear what you think, so please rate and review! This episode is sponsored by Meerkat Village. It takes a village to raise a child with special needs. Find out more at www.meerkatvillage.com