Austin's Hot Takes

OMG!!! Austin had too much margharitaaaaaaa!! Or was it lemonade?? ;);) Listen to this show and maybe you’ll know!!! Hahahaha this eppie is like sooo fun. The funnest. There’s this whole big sock thingy and weird fleshy fruits (peaches are like totally the avocados of fruit and that makes peach bread avocado toast). Oh also you can definitely skip leg day and do some pull-up thingies and your chest will look totes fabs k bye!!! #SWTWT

Remember Season 1 Episode 1 when Austin didn’t know how microwaves worked? Remember how we talked about that for a solid 40 minutes because we thought THAT was the worst thing Austin didn’t understand? Well, he still hasn’t evolved in any way. So here to solve his problems are: a giant metal hot rod, bigger microwaves, and government microwave attendants funded by taxpayer dollars. Also, we should violate the Geneva Convention to kill bees except bumblebees (but only if they rebrand themselves).

Top of the mornin’! G’day lads and lassies from the land down over which is what we call Ireland because we’re somewhere over the rainbow if you catch my drift. We’ve got a wee bit of potty humor in our wee little show for you tonight (there’s a wee laddie in my ear who doesn’t know what time of day it’s supposed to be). And much like the Nintendo Wii, we are never ever getting back together. We understand each other, oui oui? That’s it. We did it. Wheeeeeeeeee!

Are you sick and tired of “normal” podcasts that make you laugh with their “jokes”? Does getting praised by a complete stranger inflate your eggy? Do you ever wonder what do boats do? If you answered yes or no to any of these questions, then this episode is the thing for you! Hear Austin rant about bands, tubas, and dance teams. Marvel at the peckies of a shirtless Batman. And learn about the musical that started it all for Ms. Parton, Hello Dolly.

Sing us a song, you’re the four-inch tall child-man… we’re trying to honor Billy Joel here. Although, he would probably be rolling around in his grave if he heard our new game, Songs From a Caesarian Restaurant. Surprisingly, that’s not the most horrific thing that happened this episode as the title might imply (but it’s a dude cat so it’s apparently okay). Perhaps equally horrifying are Austin’s tales of eating a sopping wet bagel and a burger with a spoon and no brad handles. Oh, and the Napoleon joke. But “while all is warm at Yosemite,” remember to check your cat with a UV light.