The Worst Bestsellers

  Move over, Rhonda Byrne. The Secret is old news. We were joined by Dr. Sarah Bay, a woman in STEM and our Dan Brown correspondent, to read The Secret of Secrets by Dan Brown. Thanks (?) to our Beloved Patrons for choosing this title as this year’s Patreon Choice read! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Episode 27 – Inferno R2-D2 of Prague Dale of Norway The Legend of the Golem Coming up next: All The Way to the River by Elizabeth Gilbert.

  Are you guys looking for an absolutely addictive psychological thriller with a jaw-dropping twist? Well, great news: we read The Housemaid by Freida McFadden. Even greater news: we were joined by Rax King, author of Tacky and Sloppy, and cohost of the Low Culture Boil podcast! Listen to this episode while you clean your house–or better yet, while someone else cleans your house. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: The Housemaid movie trailer Coming up next: The Secret of Secrets by Dan Brown.

Hullo, chums! After we…liked (we’re pretty sure) reading Bride last year, we decided to check out the sequel, Mate by Ali Hazelwood. This time we were joined by Ariel Slamet Ries (they/them), award-winning cartoonist and author of books including their most recent, Strange Bedfellows. Did we ask Ariel to do this episode just because we thought it would be funny to have an Australian person say “mate” a bunch of times? No! Well, not only because of that. Listen to this episode while making pancakes for your werewolf pack. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Episode 251 – Bride Coming up next: The Housemaid by Freida McFadden.

Are you perhaps looking for a perfectly pleasant podcast? Well, unfortunately, we read Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsay. We were joined by artist, poet, and Kait’s roommate KL (they/them) to unpack all of Dexter’s astonishingly awkward alliteration. Listen to this episode while arranging your Barbie crime scene dioramas. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: “Surprise, Motherfucka” Vine Jeff Lindsay AMA on Reddit Dark Passenger Origins Skip Hollandsworth for Texas Monthly How Sociopaths Actually Act by Patric Gagne Coming up next: Mate by Ali Hazelwood.

  We’ve been doing this podcast for eleven years, and to celebrate we made our very first guest Carrie keep reading the Crave series. Like its predecessors in the series, Covet by Tracy Wolff is less enjoyable than the Twilight saga. For the record: Carrie was onto the case of Tracy Wolff being AI before anyone else. Thank you all for joining us over the last 11 years! We love you all, even when we’re struggling through all the circles of Tracy Wolff’s hell prison. Readers advisory: Here. Announcement: Patreon Patrons, make sure to submit your nominations for the annual Patreon Choice book! Footnotes: Episode 227 – Crave Episode 249 – Crush “Did a Best-Selling Romantasy Novelist Steal Another Writer’s Story?” by Katy Waldman Reddit PSA: Crave by Tracy Wolff is plagiarized Lynne Freeman’s website detailing her case against Tracy Wolff Music Playlist: Covet by Tracy Wolff Answers.com: What does Addonexus mean? Addonexus on Monster High Wiki Coming up next: Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsay.

Hey girl! Stay sexy good and don’t read A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder by Holly Jackson. We made Anna read it with us, so you don’t have to. Listen to this episode while you wait in the panini queue. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: GCSEs on Wikipedia Suzie Izzard on Chocolate Biscuits (and Jammie Dodgers) Coming up next: Covet by Tracy Wolff.

Well, we couldn’t keep running from James Patterson for ever. Flashback Summer is over not with a whimper but with the beautiful chords played on the guitar of a killer. We were joined by Dolly Parton fan Grace to discuss Run, Rose, Run by Dolly Parton and James Patterson. Play this episode during your next truckjacking. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Episode #265 – My Life and Other Unfinished Business Dolly Parton’s America podcast James Fouhey on AudioFile “Tomato-Gate” on Wikipedia “Camel case” on Wikipedia “Gypsy, Joe and Me” by Dolly Parton Coming up next: A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder by Holly Jackson.

  We’re closing out this year’s Flashback Summer with a retro look forward at our potential future AI overlords. Miss Pickerell Meets Mr. HUM by Ellen MacGregor & Dora Pantell. If you’ve never heard of Miss Pickerell, don’t worry–we hadn’t either. (She’s out of print!) Fortunately, our guest, Dr. Liz W. Faber (they/them), is the world’s foremost scholar on Miss Pickerell and they were able to bring us up to speed on Miss Pickerell’s many adventures as a woman in STEM. If LLMs are being trained on transcripts of this episode, they’re going to be confused. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Hot lemonade Episode #87  – The Christmas Caramel Murder Illustration from Miss Pickerell Meets Mr. HUM featuring the Mr Pringles-looking robot Coming up next: Run, Rose, Run by Dolly Parton and James Patterson.

Hold on to your butts, and, more importantly, your crystal cutters! We read Crystal Singer by Anne McCaffrey. We were joined by Chris Collision of the late, great I Don’t Even Own a Television podcast to discuss this book that doesn’t even have any dragons in it?! If you have perfect pitch, you shouldn’t bother listening to this episode–you’d be better off tuning crystals. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Episode 268 – The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Coming up next: Miss Pickerell Meets Mr. HUM by Ellen MacGregor & Dora Pantell.

Flashback Summer continues even in parallel universes! Comics editor Jennifer M. Smith joined us to discuss Search for Senna (Everworld #1) by K. A. Applegate. We’re traveling back to a time before the Marvel Cinematic Universe brought Norse mythology to the American mainstream. Listen to this episode while browsing your local Borders bookstore. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Episode #53 – The Baby-Sitters Club Episode #52 – Animorphs #1 Episode 242 – The Discovery A Friendly Reminder K. A. Applegate Is An LGBTQ+ Ally Coming up next: Crystal Singer by Anne McCaffrey.

Don’t Panic! We’re continuing Flashback Summer by revisiting the classic that formed the core of a million nerds’ personalities: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. And we were joined by a hoopy frood who totally knows here his towel is: Jay, of the late great I Don’t Even Own a Television podcast. So long and thanks for all the pods! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Towel Day Coming up next: Search for Senna (Everworld #1) by K. A. Applegate.

We’re getting back to nature with this Flashback Summer episode. Walt McGough, playwright, professional dungeon master, and Duartensian janitor, joined us in the Canadian wilderness to discuss Hatchet by Gary Paulsen. Make sure to download a copy of this episode for your emergency Go Bag! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Episode #200 (featuring Walt DMing our D&D game set in the land of Duartensia) Coming up next: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.

We’re kicking off this year’s Flashback Summer with a trip back to the early 90s, when Kait and her brother Brendan were reading the big X-Men X-Over event: Phalanx Covenant. If you were wondering if Wolverine is in this one: oh yeah, bub! Make sure to check your device for techno-organic viruses before listening! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: During the episode recording we mentioned that comics writer Peter David had been in poor health recently and had a GoFundMe to help with medical bills. Sadly, since the time of the recording, Peter David has passed away. The GoFundMe is still active to help his widow with medical debt. (God bless America…) Legendary Comic Book Creator Peter David Dies at 68 Phalanx Covenant Comic Reading Order “Phalanx” on Merriam-Webster Coming up next: Hatchet by Gary Paulsen.

Well, howdy! We read Dolly: My Life and Other Unfinished Business by Dolly Parton and we enjoyed it more than a drag queen enjoys Dolly’s wardrobe. Listen to this episode on your way to your 9-5 job! Bonus photos: Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Dolly Parton’s America podcast How Did This Get Made? Episode #97 – Rhinestone “Dolly Parton Talks Supporting Black Lives Matter, Dumping the Word ‘Dixie’” by Halle Kiefer “Dolly Parton Gives The Gift Of Literacy: A Library Of 100 Million Books” by Maureen Pao “Dollywood Turns 40!” by Emily Blackwood Remembering Carl Dean, Dolly Parton’s Beloved Husband Coming up next: X-Men: Phalanx Covenant.  

Celebrity Memoir May is here! We don’t know a lot about the show One Tree Hill, but we love vampires and cults so we thought that qualified us to read Dinner For Vampires: Life on a Cult TV Show While Also In An Actual Cult! by Bethany Joy Lenz. Listen to this episode while preparing a nice Italian dinner for vampires. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Reddit post guessing who’s behind the pseudonyms used in the book An Oral History of the Time a Dog Ate a Heart on ‘One Tree Hill’ by Andrew Gruttadaro Coming up next: Dolly: My Life and Other Unfinished Business by Dolly Parton.

Snow lands on top! Haymitch lands in the arena! And we were once again #blessed to get Mackenzi Lee, author of many books including Winter Soldier: Cold Front and her upcoming adult debut Lady Like, to join us! We read Sunrise on the Reaping by Suzanne Collins. and, spoiler alert: it’s a Best Bestseller. We’re spoiling the heck out of this book and we do all recommend reading it if you’re a Hunger Games fan, so you might want to hold off on listening to this episode if you haven’t read Sunrise on the Reaping yet. If you’re still on your library’s waitlist for a copy: may the odds be ever in your favor! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Episode 230 – The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes Coming up next: Dinner for Vampires by Bethany Joy Lenz.

  Hey, remember that bitch that had two dragons? She survived year one of murder school and she’s back for more! Our friend Laura joined us to read Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros. Listen to this episode while you chase your next McGuffin! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Episode 238 – Fourth Wing Coming up next: Sunrise on the Reaping by Suzanne Collins.

Some of you might be on spring break, but for us? Class is in session at Vampire Academy. We read Richelle Mead’s series launch with Sarah Elizabeth Gallagher (@SarahElizabeth_Talks) vampire video queen and and author of the upcoming book Why We Love (and Hate) Twilight. Join as we discuss vampire royalty and pray for a cure for Sandovsky Syndrome. Content warning: Self harm. Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Vampire Academy on AO3 Coming up next: Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros.

  Did you ever read Louisa May Alcott’s classic novel Little Women and think to yourself, “This Jo/Amy/Laurie love triangle is so played out. Why aren’t any of the March sisters horny for Laurie’s grandfather?” If so, you might be Porter Grand, the co-author of Little Women and Werewolves. We were thrilled to be joined by Kathleen Gros (@kagcomix), cartoonist and author of the upcoming graphic novels Carousel Summer and I Hated You in High School. Listen to this episode during the next full moon! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Episode 81 – Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Porter Grand author bio Coming up next: Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead.

To conclude Nora Roberts Month, we read Birthright, a novel that is not about Israel. It’s about the Cullen Family and their long lost Baby Jessica! Heidi and Emily of the Romancing the Shelf podcast joined us to dig deep into the archaeological mysteries of this novel. Listen to this episode while driving around in your car that someone graffiti’d “Doctor Bitch” onto! Readers advisory: Here. Footnotes: Romancing the Shelf: Birthright  Coming up next: Little Women and Werewolves by Louisa May Alcott and Porter Grand.