Murder-Suicide Matinee

We're back to ruin the holidays with a scholarly dissection of a christmas classic!* Listen along, and you too can piss off everyone at the family dinner table with incisive insight into the post-9/11 military-industrial themes of The Polar Express, and the USA's ongoing anxious spiral into full christmas derangement. Featuring: Being Tom Hankovich, Santa's adrenachrome harvesting operation, elf rally at Yulemberg, graphic hobo explosion, Dewey's wet cardboard box, Cami's Frosty origin story,[white knuckled] it matters where the train is going *Allegedly, arguably. Classic status debatable.  Movie: The Polar Express (2004) Director: Robert Zemeckis Rating: Santa is dogecoin Follow our Patreon for show updates, episode notes, stills and more! intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie

It's been a while since an episode was a complete, unmitigated disaster from beginning to end. Hosts going through it, movie abysmal, audio files swallowed by dark gods. This month we inflicted Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie: Pyramid of Light upon ourselves, for critical damage. If you know or care about Yu-Gi-Oh! you too will feel your life points drain as we display about as much in-depth knowledge of the franchise as we have about Star Wars. There are cards, and there are righteous twinks. That's about all we've got. IMPORTANT: Do not educate us about Yu-Gi-Oh. Featuring: corncob PSA, all of the Beatles in a big bed together, that movie with the countdown, Pegasus Undertale's brat summer, a Saw trap for Cami personally, and a bunch of words I probably can't say on iTunes. But don't worry, I can reclaim. Movie: Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie: Pyramid of Light (2004) Director: Hatsuki Tsuji Rating: there are better things you could be doing with your time Follow our Patreon for show updates, episode notes, stills and more! intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie

Welcome to the world of Tiny Don Cheadle, where only scoring a million points in super-basketball can facilitate his master plan to put LeBron James in Game of Thrones. Or Something. We watched Space Jam: A New Legacy and came away knowing less about the plot than before we went in. It's a lot like The Emoji Movie, but infinitely more embarrassing on pretty much every level.  Featuring: the Star Wars memory hole, Andrei Tarkovski's CATS, cami's casketball, live subtitles for American listeners, podcast therapy, and LeBron's special move that kills Bugs Bunny. Movie: Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021) Director: Malcolm D. Lee Rating: ah shit lads, just remembered I don't care at all Follow our Patreon for show updates, episode notes, stills and more! intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie

😩⌚🎬⬅👩⚔💀 you get it it's the fucking emoji movie. god help us. PROGRAMMING NOTE: show notes and bonus clips will go up on Patreon next week, as Lee is out of town all weekend. In exchange, you get this episode a day early. Yippeeee! Featuring: soup wizard's poison stew, patrick stewart's third home, amazing deals on james corden, evil charger that deletes your phone, and the eternal sunshine of lee's emoji mind. Movie: The Emoji Movie (2017) Director: Tony Leondis Rating: movie that could have been a powerpoint Follow our Patreon for show updates, episode notes, stills and more! intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie

!!!LOST MEDIA RECOVERED!!! This bonus full-length episode drop is as much a surprise to us as it is to you. After our CATS theatricular spectacular, we actually recorded another episode in September 2020. First, recording was delayed by [VARIOUS GLOBAL EVENTS]. Then editing was delayed by a computer failure. By the time the edit resumed, the entire intro (about, you know, [VARIOUS GLOBAL EVENTS]) was so dated that we didn't know what to do with the episode. Before we could decide, another computer failure took the matter out of our hands. We believed the almost-finished episode was lost...until now. Four years later, while consolidating various external drives, Lee discovered a backup of the rough edit. As we careen into another, somehow worse, US election, against a backdrop of zero solved problems and several new ones, we present our episode on Leo the Lion (2005) in all its depressingly-still-relevant glory.  Featuring: Matt Mercer jumpscare, the shortest movie, Dumbo does an Icarus, Leo the Lion nightcore remix, and a horrible horrible forgotten prophecy that we are bound to obey in 2026. Movie: Leo the Lion (2005) Director: Mario Cambi Rating: Cuesto e la deal with Mario Cambi? You can find show notes, stills, links of interest, outtakes and ephemera on our Patreon for the low low cost of some dollars. intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie

Once in a while, it does us good to check out a nutritious, homegrown independent movie. Something made with love, care, copious ambition, and a free copy of Blender. Something like Our Drawings - Princess Movie,  better known as that thing with the beatboxing puppy. As fans of Dracula's Angel know, we will go to the mats for an incomprehensible passion project every time. Join us for an absolutely mindbending viewing experience, followed by an undergraduate lecture on postmodern art by way of skibidi toilet. Watch along on Youtube and open your third eye.  Featuring: Bearfoot is legal, animator burnout, failed quicktime events, all suffering is inextricable from desire, and new mom Sim behaviours. Movie: Our Drawings - Princess Movie (2023) Director: Calobi Rating: A surprisingly nuanced exploration of the multifaceted pressures imposed on aspiring artists by our present market-driven culture, and the way these pressures complicate cross-disciplinary and intergenerational solidarity. With a beatboxing puppy. Follow our Patreon for show updates, episode notes, stills and more! intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie

Did you think it was over? Did you think we were finished? Did you really, truly, honestly believe we have anything better to do with our time than bicker over certified rotten animated features? Foolish. Four years after Cats tried to put us in the ground, we are risen again like the good lord himself. For humanity's sins, we watched Riverdance: The Animated Adventure. Featuring: Unnecessary lockdown hobbies, things that go beep boop, Cami dated a guy once, grandma's charging dock, and Irishman colony collapse. Movie: Riverdance: The Animated Adventure Director: Eamonn Butler & Dave Rosenbaum Rating: Poison to frogs Follow our Patreon for show updates, episode notes, stills and more! intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie  

Our very first very special 2-hour On Release spectacular. What is there to say? We saw it. We went. There was vore. There were computer faces. There were naked human hands. Oh man. Oh boy. Oh kids. Featuring: Cami almost gets arrested, two literal dissociative episodes, filthy fursuits, a jellicle cat is a racist cat, everything you've ever wanted to know about trains (but it was too boring to ask), Ian McKellen's tongue acting, a tour of hell, podcast trial of the century Movie: CATS (2019) Director: Tom Hooper Rating: literalists go to hell Special thanks to interview victims: William "Just Here For Railway Cats" Harmon Chris "The Road Rage Cat" Fennell Joslin "The Boots-Wearing Cat" Harmon Jane "The Cat Who's Joslin's Mom" Mathews Randy "The Cat Who's Joslin's Dad" Mathews Abby the Consumptive Cowboy Cat Jenni the Cat Who Brought the Vodkas Kate the Aviary Cat Samantha the Cat Who's Happy for the Vore Community ...and two anonymous 12-year-old girls who had the misfortune to make eye contact with Cami while the audio recorder was out. intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie

In accordance with MSM tradition (that is very on purpose and an intentional part of our brand, and NOT the whim of a chaotic universe), we present to you this year's Halloween-in-December pre-holiday spookfest: 2004's Spookley the Square Pumpkin! You may have heard of this lumpen mistake of nature recently from some other, much more popular podcast, who may have given away the whole synopsis to an audience who could populate a reasonably sized town, and may be smarter, funnier and collectively more handsome than at least one of our hosts.* It's okay, though, you wouldn't be listening to this show if you were interested in quality over quantity. It's only worth mentioning because we read out some reviews on this episode, and it should be noted this was recorded before that other show aired. You'll understand why it matters when you get there. Get cosy, get nogged, turn down the lights, and feast your ears on the terrifying ballad of Scrumbles the Squmpkin. P.S: We are so sorry for all the terrible things we said. *Cami Featuring: padcasts, the J/O-lympics, what the fuck is a veggie tale, laughing at a real dead guy, pumpkin full of organs, save the day with your huge square ass Movie: Spookley the Square Pumpkin (2004) Director: Bernie Denk Rating: Sigmund Freud Was Right intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie  

I'm a little yellow fish in a deep blue sea - won't somebody save me?  Oh yes we're revisiting the MILLENNIUM FISH MOVIE CRAZE that I bet you don't remember at all. With a completely inexplicable cast including Alan Paul, Aaron Rickman, Tabitha St. Germain and Terry Jones, Help! I'm A Fish is an inscrutable series of creative decisions that we were absolutely unprepared to witness.  Featuring: the continued saga of Dr. whatever his name is, yeet your sister, Doing The Icarus, and Alan Rickman's bare human ass Movie: Hjælp! Jeg er en Fisk (Help! I'm A Fish) (2000) Four Whole Ass Directors: Stefan Fjeldmark, Greg Manwaring, Michael Donovan, & Michael Hegner Rating: [sound only dogs can hear] intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie

Big Audio tried to shut us down, but you can't kill what already wants to die... That's right, Murder-Suicide Matinee is BACK for an absolutely arbitrary Season 2. After moving to opposite time zones and losing a full episode and a half of recordings, regular brained podcast hosts might give up. But not us, baby. We're bigger and better and gayer than ever, and we're ready to talk at great length about the mixed CGI template for a screenplay that is 2018's Peter Rabbit. Featuring: Inexplicably dreadful audio, Name That White Guy, a straight up goddamn murder in the first ten minutes of this children's movie, and a whole lot of questionable use of mental health terminology that will probably get us cancelled!  note: There was something badly wrong with Lee's mic in the first half of this episode, so the audio quality is something akin to a 1910s preacher yelling into a tin can on a wire. It does get a little better later on. And trust us, we paid the price. Movie: Peter Rabbit (2018) Director: Will Gluck Rating: So STUPID why doid they do that cringe stupid go get a sandwich! intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie   we have a brand new Patreon! guilt us into producing regular episodes (or just, like, help us keep the old ones online) by donating a buck or two in return for bonus content. You want it, we got it. But more importantly, you WANT it.

  This episode gestated almost as long as a real baby! Join us for timely and topical new year humour, and sizzling hot takes on that one weird pro-life zootopia comic everyone's already forgotten about! Oh, we also talk about 2017's The Boss Baby - the movie with a definite article in the title that nobody acknowledges, made by adults who have a lot to say about corporate culture and have evidently never met a real human child.  Featured highlights: Wizzy is my father, schroedinger's pregnancy, a check-in with the Elvis industry, and children are sociopaths note: we had some technical issues with Cami's audio on this episode - it's totally listenable but you might hear a couple of glitches where the ends of her words clip out. it's okay, she wasn't saying anything important anyway. Movie: The Boss Baby (2017) Directors: Tom McGrath Rating: unattended child crying in an airport for 8 hours intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie rate us on iTunes, and check out our tumblr for displays of sheer antipathy towards our wonderful tortured fans!

  Not a whole lot of jokes in this one folks; we fucking hated it. We watched Sausage Party and regretted every moment we were alive. WARNING: If you're sensitive to discussion of virulent racism, misogyny, homophobia, sexual assault, or pretty much any other form of casual bigotry that middle aged white comedians find hilarious and think they're experts on, skip this tire fire.  Movie: Sausage Party (2016) Directors: Greg Tiernan & Conrad Vernon Rating: unskippable hulu ads playing in an adjacent room intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie Follow us at http://murdersuicidematinee.tumblr.com and restore a shred of hope and dignity to our withered husks.

For our holiday episode this year we're wishing you all a late happy Hanukkah! And by 'happy' we mean we really hope you didn't watch Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights! We had a miserable time! When will comedians just stop? Featuring: early shrimp, Salad Blandman, Cami should never do voices, and a perfect twelve year old boy PLUS: Our embarrassingly short 2017 retrospective, and a very special letter from our favourite writer/director team!  Movie: 8 Crazy Nights (2002) Director: Seth Kearsley Rating: a Swedish masterpiece intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie Follow us at http://murdersuicidematinee.tumblr.com for all the latest in unwarranted poop jokes!

It's the episode absolutely nobody asked for -- we discuss The Smurfs 2 having never seen or even read a synopsis of the first one. Have you ever watched a kids' movie and thought 'man this would be way better if the child did nothing at all and the adults had the whole adventure'? Neither have we! Because it's actually worse! Featuring: more celebrity deaths, natal smurf hair, a completely nonsensical duck pun, and an uncomfortable glimpse at Papa's true social agenda Movie: The Smurfs 2 (2013) Director: Raja Gosnell Rating: maybe, once, in the right context intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie Follow our tumblr (murdersuicidematinee.tumblr.com) for more smurf dick discourse

It's been a while, but the masochists are back -- and this episode we're going nutty over 2014's cranky animal heist movie The Nut Job. Sure, some people might have been over the fuzzy-animal-with-a-bad-attitude thing by the early 00s, and everyone was certainly over gangnam style by the end of 2012, but here's a movie bold enough to say nuts to that! We really get down to nuts and bolts in this one, I promise you, it's nut to be missed! Nuts! Special guest topics: skwurls, nuts, raccoon stalin, nuts, the grinch who stole christmas, nuts, our pitch for a special extended edition of the lord of the rings, and also nuts Movie: The Nut Job (2014) Director: Peter Lepeniotis Rating: nuts to it intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie Follow our tumblr (murdersuicidematinee.tumblr.com) for the latest in peanut industry insider tips. We're on iTunes! Rate and subscribe or Rosa will appear on your ceiling at midnight and curse you for a thousand years! (https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/murder-suicide-matinee/id1111796206?mt=2)

Top of the season to you! Hot on the heels of halloween, it's the all singing no dancing Murder-Suicide Matinee christmas special! We're joined by Kelly Rockwell of Secret Story for a surprisingly erotic screening of the 1993 animated classic David Copperfield. It's just as Dickens envisioned it -- cheese monster, calypso beats and fantasy wild boar chase intact. Oh, and take note of that Explicit tag this episode. Things get pretty real around the time Kelly and Cami dig out their erotic fanfiction for an on-air reading. Movie: David Copperfield (1993) Director: Don Arioli Rating: yes.   Follow our tumblr (murdersuicidematinee.tumblr.com) for more furry misandry. We're on iTunes! Rate and subscribe for no chance to win fabulous prizes. (https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/murder-suicide-matinee/id1111796206?mt=2) intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie

Cosy on down under the blankets, throw another log on the fire, and prepare for some long winter night spookin's as we bring you the fabled...lost halloween episode. That's right, just in time for the holiday season we've managed to recover this special episode originally intended to air on October 31st -- before Rosa left her laptop on a train, and it took a tour of the south of england for a month or so. It's back and so are we, with this arguably less than timely breakdown of Dracula's Angel (2014). It's our first foray into (extremely) indie animation, and good sweet god did we have ourselves a time. Bloodshed! Wolves! Questionable Irish accents! Anecdotes about Cami's real life suffering! A minimum of one Dracula! This episode really has it all. Movie: Dracula's Angel (2014) Director: Bryan Beasley Rating: if you only watch one movie about single mindedly pursuing a romance with literal dracula this year, well, that's still a pretty good average Follow our tumblr (murdersuicidematinee.tumblr.com) for more extremely up-to-date and seasonal content. We're on iTunes! All those who listened must rate and subscribe for eternity to continue! (https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/murder-suicide-matinee/id1111796206?mt=2) intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie

Hey, you see that explicit tag? Yeah, we're making full use of that this week. You probably don't want to listen to this episode at work or with the family, unless you are heir apparent to the bad dragon / deviantart empires. And if you are, please get in touch re: some kind of sponsorship deal. That's beause we watched Alpha and Omega 4: Legend of the Call to the Lost Witch's Curse of My Ass Reloaded - a very short movie with a very hmmmm let's say passionate fanbase. Tune in for a lot of audio description of pornography, updates on how Balto's doing (not well), and both of us failing to notice that Cami thinks Iago the parrot appeared in the movie Jurassic Park. Movie: Alpha and Omega 4: The Legend of the Saw Tooth Cave (2014) Director: Richard Rich Rating: a bunch of deer dong Follow our tumblr (murdersuicidematinee.tumblr.com) and I swear I won't post TOO many wolf dick pics. We're on iTunes! Rate and subscribe for no chance to win fabulous prizes. (https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/murder-suicide-matinee/id1111796206?mt=2) intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie

It's back to the tender embrace of inept 2D this episode, with Aladdin and the Adventure of All Time. No I did not leave out a word, that is the title of this movie that was inexplicably released in the year 2000 despite looking and sounding like an early 90s bargain bin. Today's lesson is all about learning to accept yourself by existentially rewriting everyone around you. Also Rosa was sick when we recorded this, so bonus content includes coughing, time travel multiverse conspiracy theories, and vore. Movie: Aladdin and the Adventure of All Time (2000) Director: Cirio H. Santiago Rating: please help us we're trapped in an infinite loop of shitty movies hungry for vore? follow us on tumblr: murdersuicidematinee.tumblr.com intro and outro music: "Everyone in Town Wants You Dead" by Singing Sadie