Human Cogs Podcast

We have a word for almost everything these days. But the most remarkable transformation a human body and brain can go through - the one that neuroscientists are now calling the biggest neuroendocrine event of the human lifespan - most of us can't name at all. The word is MATRESCENCE. It describes the passage into motherhood, and if you've never heard it until now, that's part of the whole wicked problem. 'Matrescence' was coined in 1973 by the anthropologist Dana Raphael, the same woman who gave us the word "doula". One word took, but the other all but vanished for the next three decades. This is despite the fact that there are two billion mothers on the planet, and yet until very recently, the transition that miraculously makes women 'mothers' remains one of the least studied, least understood experiences in human development. This, sadly, tells you something about how little we have valued mothers in modern societies: we kept the word for the ‘helper’ but we lost the word for ‘her’. In this episode of Human Cogs, Mads as a mother of four reflects on her own experience of motherhood and joins the wonderful singer-songwriter and filmmaker Claire Tonti, whose documentary ‘Matrescence: The Hidden World of M/otherhood’ will premiere in Australia and globally this November.  Tonti didn't set out to become a global advocate for motherhood or to create a global documentary about it. She set out, instead, at the age of 29, to have a baby and a natural birth with maternal agency.  But what she got was a sixteen-hour, life-threatening labour and traumatic birth with a forceps delivery, an episiotomy that tore, emergency surgery and then afterwards, the rude shock of new motherhood which meant 24/7 responsibility for a tiny being when she was at her most physically vulnerable, emotionally fragile and entirely disillusioned with mothering in the modern world. Tonti describes her early years of motherhood as being lonely and isolated with no village to guide and hold her, and her battle to withstand the societal pressure to “enjoy every moment oh it goes so fast” only to surf through the waves of grief, rage, fear, ambivalence and identity shifts that beset her as a new mother.  It was only years later, burnt out and unwell, that Tonti typed "motherhood" into Google looking for a synonym and a way to describe how she felt, and then found the word and movement that would reorder her life. For her documentary, Tonti travelled from the edge of the largest informal settlement in Nairobi to the corporate towers of New York looking for the motherhood village we've lost. What she found, again and again, was that cultures with almost nothing still pour their resources into caring for a new mother because they understand something we've forgotten: when a baby is born, a mother is born again too, and she is just as fragile and precious and in need of swaddling and reverence as the tiny child. What Tonti also found is that there is very little reverence for new-born mothers here in Australia. One in three women experience birth trauma. One in five women currently experience a perinatal mental health disorder, and, devastatingly, suicide is still the leading cause of death for women in the first year postpartum.  Honouring matrescence is how we hold and support new-born mothers through the births, the joy, the fear, the trauma, the tenderness and the everyday extraordinary miracle of birthing and raising a real live human being.  Of course, naming a thing doesn't fix it. But it does tell a woman, in the seismic tidal waves of matrescence, that she isn't broken: she is becoming, again and again. We hope you embrace the word, read more about it, and that you enjoy this conversation with the wonderful Claire Tonti. Thanks for listening, and here’s to the mothers across the world. Guest: Claire TontiAlbum: MatrescenceDocumentary: Matrescence: The Hidden World Of M/otherhoodInstagram: @clairetontiWebsite: clairetonti.com Host: Madeleine Hanger Grummet Linkedin Instagram WebsiteWant to support our show? Thank you! Please click ‘follow’ on Apple and Spotify and if you're really feeling it leave us a five-star review. Human Cogs is available on Apple, Spotify or via our website where you can also catch lots of great conversations with stacks of our previous extraordinary guests :) Got some thoughts on today's episode you'd like to share?DM us on Instagram @human.cogsDo you know someone with an amazing story? Please tell us! We're always scouting for amazing people to feature on Human Cogs! Learn more and support the show: https://www.humancogs.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if ageing wasn't something to fear but something to finally - fiercely - embrace? Jacinta Parsons is an ABC broadcaster, writer, public speaker and newly minted Doctor. She has lived with Crohn's disease for decades, navigated divorce, faced chronic illness and devastating loss, and now come through the other side, not diminished but radically empowered.  For her latest book, A Wisdom of Age, Jacinta interviewed women across Australia about the experience of ageing, and captured what we can learn from them to boldly rewrite the story of the second half of our lives. In this episode of Human Cogs we talk with Jacinta about the hardwon learnings and unbridled freedom that can come with ageing: the shedding of “good girl” rules, the cultivation of our wilder versions of self and how life’s fractures and fragilities can also be surprising openings to new identities and big opportunities in the world.  We talk about internalised ageism and the stories women are told about their bodies. We talk about what chronic illness teaches you about control, surrender and what actually matters. We talk about the difference between loneliness and solitude, and why learning to be happily alone with yourself might be one of the most important things you can do. And mostly we talk about wisdom - what it really means, how you cultivate it, and why the most interesting chapters of your life might be the ones you haven't written yet. So pour yourself a cuppa, take a long walk under the bright sun or stars or lie your good self down and listen to this absolute wisdom of age from Jacinta Parsons. Guest: Jacinta Parsons, ABC Broadcaster, writer and public speaker. She is the Co-host of ABC Melbourne’s The Friday Revue with Brian Nankervis and presents ABC Victorian Saturday Mornings.Book: A Wisdom Of AgeInstagram: @jacintaparsonsWebsite: JacintaParsons.com Hosts: Mads Hanger (Grummet) and Sabina ReadProducer: Our audio wizard is the beloved Daryl MissenWant to support our show? Thank you! Please click ‘follow’ on Apple and Spotify and if you're really feeling it leave us a five-star review. Human Cogs is available on Apple, Spotify or via our website where you can also catch great conversations with stacks of our previous guests :) Got some thoughts on today's episode you'd like to share?DM us on Instagram @human.cogsDo you know someone with an amazing story? Tell us! We're always scouting for amazing people to feature on Human Cogs! Learn more and support the show: https://www.humancogs.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For anyone who grew up in the late 80s and 90s, the name Alison Brahe-Daddo is synonymous with that Dolly magazine cover - the one blu-tacked to bedroom walls and plastered all over school lockers.  With her dazzling smile and golden beach body, Ali exploded onto the Australian modelling scene at the age of 16, gracing the glossy covers of Cleo, Dolly and Cosmopolitan and making herself a household name. Ali was the absolute ‘It-Girl’ of the time, and everything every young woman wanted to be. Fast-forward to today, and Alison Brahe-Daddo is a Mum to three adult children, fitness teacher, birth assistant, podcaster co-hosting the hit show "The Heart Of It" with her husband Cameron Daddo and she is also the author of Queen Menopause: Finding Your Majesty in the Mayhem. In this episode, Ali takes us back into the often brutal world of modeling when as a self-proclaimed naïve teenager she learned to people-please her way through the industry - a pattern that followed her well beyond the runway and into her adult life. We talk about how she fell madly in love with and married Cameron Daddo when she was aged just 22, and unpack the beautiful, messy reality of how Ali and Cam have evolved both individually and together over three decades of life and marriage. But the big nugget in this conversation is MENOPAUSE: that universal yet profoundly misunderstood and stigmatised life change we still don't talk about nearly enough.  Ali doesn't hold back about her own challenging journey through menopause: the crippling anxiety, terrible panic attacks, insomnia, deep depression, blind rage and complete absence of joy that beset her through this stage of life.  What's remarkable about Ali's approach is that she doesn't just catalog the struggle: she dispels the myths, destigmatises what it means when a woman's fertile years end and explores the hidden gifts of menopause, including the power of self-love and self-compassion, and how she used this time to live a fuller, more authentic life.  The ripple effect of menopause impacts everyone - partners, children, workplaces, society at large - so this conversation isn't just for women, it’s for all of us. But we hope Ali’s experience and wisdom in this episode will offer help and reassurance to anyone struggling with the challenges of menopause right now.   Guest: Alison Brahe-DaddoPodcast: The Heart Of ItInstagram: @alidaddo Hosts: Mads Hanger (Grummet) and Sabina ReadProducer: Our audio wizard is Daryl MissenHuman Cogs is available on Apple, Spotify or via our website where you can also catch great conversations with stacks of our previous guests :) Got some thoughts on today's episode you'd like to share?DM us on Instagram @human.cogsDo you know someone with an amazing story? Tell us! We're always scouting for amazing people to feature on Human Cogs! And if you really loved this episode, leave us a quick review. We love that.Learn more and support the show: https://www.humancogs.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“How many kids do you have?” It’s a question asked so casually, often as part of small talk. Yet, for those who dreamed of parenthood but find themselves childless, these four words can land with a heavy blow. Today’s guest, Kelly Donougher, is a successful interior designer and founder of 13 Interiors, with design studios in Perth and Melbourne. But behind her professional success lies a deeply personal story. In her new book No Fence, No Limits, Kelly opens up about her and her husband’s decade-long journey with infertility—marked by rounds of medical interventions, the heartbreak of miscarriage, and the ongoing process of navigating grief. In our conversation, Kelly shares the tension between meeting society’s expectations and honouring her own truths, how the medical system can make you feel like just another number, and what it means to carve out an identity beyond parenthood. She also reflects on how grief, while devastating, can spark transformation—and how creativity and career reinvention became lifelines of healing. This is a conversation not just about infertility, but about the universal struggle with life’s “shoulds,” the boxes we’re told to tick, and the courage it takes to choose a different path. Kelly’s story is one of perseverance, hope, surrender, and ultimately, acceptance. Most of all, she reminds us that even when our sense of agency feels diminished, we still hold the power to choose. To learn more about Kelly’s book, head to kellydonougher.com, and to explore her beautiful design work, visit 13interiors.com. Host: Sabina ReadProducer: Audio Superstar Daryl Missen ***** Hosts: Mads Hanger (Grummet) and Sabina ReadProducer: Our audio wizard is Daryl MissenHuman Cogs is available on Apple, Spotify or via our website where you can also catch great conversations with stacks of our previous guests :) Got some thoughts on today's episode you'd like to share?DM us on Instagram @human.cogsDo you know someone with an amazing story? Tell us! We're always scouting for amazing people to feature on Human Cogs! And if you really loved this episode, leave us a quick review. We love that.Learn more and support the show: https://www.humancogs.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How often do you think about worst case scenarios? Contemplate fate or imagine catastrophes or run the gamut of ‘what ifs?’  The reality is that none of us really know what’s coming down the life pipes next … as famed author Joan Didion wrote “Life changes fast. Life changes in the instant. You can sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends.” For Pete Conroy, that instant came on the most ordinary of mornings - the third of November, 2022. It was dead quiet on the peninsula that day. Pre-dawn. Pre-birdsong. Pete was driving to work, thinking about the day ahead, staring into the darkness, thinking about maybe an ocean swim at Dromana later on, about dinner tonight, about working on his golf handicap on Saturday.  Just an ordinary morning. On an ordinary day. That with no warning, suddenly turned into the worst day of Pete’s life. In the darkness, in an instant, everything would change: the life Pete loved, the body he lived in, the world he knew and the way he moved through it. The Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius once wrote: “You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength.” This is a conversation about that kind of strength, and the story of a truly remarkable man who chose to meet the very worst of what happened on an ordinary day with unimaginable grace, superhuman grit and extraordinary good humour. As Pete says in this episode: “Every human’s got their own Everest. Some are bigger and steeper than others but at some stage, everyone’s got to make the climb. This is the story of Pete’s climb. Guest: Pete ConroyPowering Up Pete: Donate hereInstagram: Powering Up PeteHost: Mads Hanger (Grummet)Producer: Audio Superstar Daryl Missen ***** Human Cogs is available wherever you get your podcasts or via our website where you can also catch stacks of great conversations with previous guests :) Got some thoughts on today's episode you'd like to share?Get in touch via website or Instagram @human.cogsWe'd love you to share our podcast and leave us a quick review! It helps us get these human stories out there!Thanks, as ever, for listening. Go well. Be well. Human well.www.humancogs.comLearn more and support the show: https://www.humancogs.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.