Sandwich Parenting

In my discussion with radio and podcast host Sen Zhan, we talk about the immigrant experience, consider a path for coming to terms with trauma, look at methods of acclimatizing to new surroundings, and so much more. I hope you'll listen to this episode and learn as much from Sen as I did talking about her fascinating story. Here are the highlights of our talk: 00:29 - Sen Zhan’s origin story 05:26 - Culture shock as a little kid arriving in Canada, straight from China 06:05 - Western kids are like wild animals compared to Chinese kids 07:46 - Acclimatizing to life in Calgary 09:16 - Overcoming a language barrier within your own community 10:47 - Rejected everything Chinese for a safer path 11:52 - Immersion in western youth fiction reading gives Sen a sense of self-discovery and independence 12:47 - Balancing the priorities of two different cultures 14:00 - A lesson at western school: What is your favourite colour? 16:38 - A struggle for survival as an immigrant family 18:09 - It’s not so much about forgiveness as it is about understanding 20:49 - Processing trauma 22:07 - Talk about Sen’s Beyond Asian podcast 25:20 - Neutral Asian Avoidance 29:49 - Discussing the Asian experience without delving into identity politics 33:29 - Thinking that your Chinese heritage is something to overcome, rather than embrace 35:32 - Standing out more as an Asian in Europe, than in North America 36:44 - Being from somewhere else is itself a super-power 38:02 - Just surviving is a great immigrant success story 40:29 - The story of Sen’s grandmother’s survival 42:59 - Sen’s advice to parents, as a sandwich kid To visit Sen's podcast, Beyond Asian, please follow this link: https://beyondasian.com/ #immigration #immigrants #heritage #chinese #survivor #healing

Dave Walker lived a life that might be familiar to anyone trapped in the rat race, making good money and surrounding himself with "stuff", but fundamentally unhappy with his work, using alcohol as a coping mechanism, and disturbed by the person staring back at him in the mirror. What might not be so familiar is Dave's trajectory out of this spiral: re-examining his upbringing, leaving his work situation and starting a new company, investing more time with his children, and re-inventing himself... all in the shadow of a harrowing car accident.  Please join me as we journey with Dave through his transformation, and discover the different legs of the metaphorical stool that supports him.  Here is a breakdown of our discussion:  01:03 - Dave's origin story, where he talks about his way out of clinical depression and alcoholism.  03:36 - His Six-Legged Stool model for life.  04:51 - Our children are the catalyst for change.  07:02 - Knowing your love languages.  08:03 - Little changes adding up to big improvements.  08:37 - The different parenting styles between Dave's Mom and Dad.  09:32 - Not liking the face looking back in the mirror.  10:20 - Reparenting yourself when your parents haven't given you the tools to cope with life.  11:57 - A Harvard degree in suppressing your feelings.  12:53 - Dave reconnecting with his Mom.  14:20 - Being in touch with your feelings is not being emasculated.  16:56 - The Universe speaks: Dave gets into a terrible car wreck.  17:45 - Dave's Mom continues to plant seeds, even after her passing.  18:46 - Giving your kids the gift of knowing you trust them to be okay.  19:45 - As opposed to parenting from fear.  22:35 - Giving your kids "The Talk" when you never got one.  23:04 - Guys don't cry. 24:16 - Using movies as crying therapy.  26:03 - enJOY life.  27:00 - Savour your relationships.  28:50 - Using alcohol as a coping mechanism.  30:33 - We're only human. We're bound to make mistakes.  31:20 - Trust in yourself.  32:05 - Passing the values you learned from a parent to your own kids.  32:58 - People are gonna “should” all over you.  33:55 - Courage isn't not being afraid. Courage is being afraid and still going forward.  34:48 - From Captain Comfort Zone to Captain Courageous. 36:02 - Why we fear the things we fear.  37:14 - Big thinker vs. big feeler.  40:23 - Judging your father when the blinders come off.  42:17 - Saying "I love you" to an emotionally stunted father.  44:04 - Dave downsizing, but he'd rather connect with people than with stuff.  45:00 - Working hard and being paid well is a powerful and addictive drug.  46:38 - “Feeling Dave” is keeping an eye on the life compass.  49:12 - Dave's final advice to parents: Trust your kids and learn their love languages. #MondaysDontHavetoSuck #DaveWalker #SherryYuanHunter #sandwichparenting  #parentlife #motherhood #fatherhood #cptsd #recovery #selfcare

For many people who are in the helping vocation or field, a very personal story of pain and then triumph is a usually part of their healing/helping journey.  Renée Rodriguez went through her personal fight in a battle in order to have custody of her children after a divorce. This can be a very isolating experience... confusing, overwhelming, nonsensical and illogical. She managed to build a team of experts to help her understand what was needed and what she had to do in order to get to a final result that was safe for her and her children.  Renée is a Custody Coach, of Best Foot Forward. She works with parents who must fight to protect their children's well-being (from abusive partners or narcissistic ex-partners) via a busy justice system that may not have the time to truly see the day to day of parent-children interaction. She helps her clients through her pillars: Strategy, Evidence, and Mindset. She is passionate, empathetic, and determined to help parents who often get stuck with no real support or no advocate for their rights from domestic violence. This is a very special opportunity to hear her story, her approach, and her advice to parents struggling with the painful experience of fighting for their children. Learn more about Renée: Best Foot Forward Consulting | (bestfootforwardllc.com) Chatting with Custody Coach Renee Rodriguez - YouTube #reneerodriguez #bestfootforward #custody #custodycoach #narcissisticex #abusivepartners #healingjourney #justicesystem #domesticviolence #divorce #advocate #strategy #evidence #mindset #sherryyuanhunter #sandwichparenting 

Jeannie Baldomero comes from a military immigrant family originally from the Philippines, which meant that they moved around a lot depending on where her father was deployed until they settled in San Diego. She went to a private Catholic school and was a typical Latch Key kid. While she grew up fast and became very independent, her conservative family did not allowing dating. That meant, of course, that her first boyfriend was a gang member! Join our conversation and hear her story about how she came to run a program specifically for moms of teenage girls, helping them connect and getting them through what can be a tough phase of life! Visit her site at Jeannie Baldomero #jeanniebaldomero #parentingteengirls #parenting #teens #rooted #rootedprogram #motherofteens #sandwichparenting #sherryyuanhunter #parentingwithcomplextrauma

A social worker for two decades and a mother of a teenager, Sofia Reddy is a first generation Greek American who is now shifting into the role of a wellness coach. We explore how our parenting has changed from that from the previous generation, which tended to be more authoritarian and hierarchical.  We have a wonderful conversation about parenting, stress, choices, celebrating the wins, and role modeling behaviours like flexibility and self care. Learn more about Sofia Reddy and how to connect with her! www.sofias-sanctuary.com https://insighttimer.com/sofiareddy https://www.familyid.com/programs/brochure-fall-2021-adult-programs  #sofiareddy #parenting #mentalhealth #sandwichparenting #sherryyuanhunter

Jenny Toh was doing well professionally. She studied law in England and her legal career spanned almost 3 decades in Malaysia and Singapore. She worked as a litigator, a corporate attorney and a derivatives legal counsel. Married mother of 3 children and an active member in her local church, she was living a good life. But she felt called to be a life coach and started River Life Coaching to help people unearth, rediscover and rekindle their dreams and passions. Many of her clients are lawyers and those in professional services, balancing work and family. Learn more about Jenny: River Life Coaching https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenny-toh-cpc-acc/ https://www.facebook.com/riverlifecoaching https://www.instagram.com/riverlifecoaching/ #jennytoh #lawyercoach #sandwichparenting #sherryyuanhunter #riverlifecoaching

Jasmina Pilak is a Pediatric Family and Developmental Counselor at St. Michael's Hospital in Toronto, working with families with children from 0 to 18 age of year. She also has a psychotherapy private practice focusing on the Parent-Child interaction. Passionate about helping parents deal with the challenges of parenting, she brings a calm, authentic wisdom to her work with parents and children.  We really got into how much stress children and young people face nowadays from societal pressures. Completely convinced that the parent-child relationship is key in the mental health of anyone, she wants to help her clients manage the challenges of parenting. We go deep into the meaning of life, parenting, slowing down, and building resiliency in our children.  You don't want to miss hearing Jasmina talk. If you want to work with her, visit her site: therapyTOhelp #jasminapilak #psychotherapy #parenting #trauma #complextrauma #sandwichparenting #sherryyuanhunter

Kulbinder Saran Caldwell's background in advocacy for diversity drives every project she is involved with.  When race, gender or sexual orientation are the basis of any barrier, she will knock it down.  As Founder & CEO of Reallife Pictures, Kulbinder is passionate about opening doors for diverse and emerging writers that had been closed by complacent decision-makers in the screen industry over many decades. Right by her side is partner husband Scott Caldwell who has worked in the news media for nearly 30 years, behind the mic and behind the scenes.  He spent a decade as a radio news reporter and anchor before becoming a television news producer in Canada’s largest media market.  He's evolved into a podcast producer & co-host of Gen-I (Generation Immigrant, that is, anyone who was born to immigrant parents.) Parents to adopted Sihk daughter and mixed-race son, they are reflective of the global community we live in and navigate. They take their experience to the next level by coaching others both on a personal level as well as in organizations that can make broader impactful change in the daily lives of their stakeholders. One of my few interviews with people in the same time zone, let alone in the same city!   #kulbindersarancaldwell #scottcadwell #gen-i #generationimmigrant #sandwichparenting

Kimberly Weeks is a Trauma Recovery Coach specializing in working with people recovering from abused by narcissists. Her choice of specialization comes from a very personal place. Not only is she doing this work for own healing journey and for her clients through theirs, Kimberly is also a Supervisor for the International Association of Trauma Recovery Coaching. That is to say, she's so passionate about this work that she is helping other coaches too. Confident, authentic, compassionate, passionate, and energetic, she is a single mother of four boys, who also deals with a chronic health issue (autoimmune disease) that will never be able to stop her from achieving her goals. It may remind her when she needs to rest and recover, but she will never be defined by her illness. In our conversation, she explores the expectations on her and the successful achievements (SO MANY) from her life as the child of (SUPER) high achieving parents, the outward public view versus the internal family reality, and why she chooses to parent differently than how she was parented.  She is such an incredible example of a Sandwich Parent. Please join me in hearing her story and learning how she recovered, which then lead to her work as a coach helping others recover from childhood trauma. #KimberlyWeeks #narcissisticabusecoach #narcissism #traumarecoverycoach #traumarecovery #sandwichparenting #sherryuanhunter

Charlene Wang is the Founder of LivingOS (https://www.livingos.org), an online community supporting high achievers and, more recently, the author of Model Breakers, a book that aims to help readers break up with the model Asian minority stereotype. She is a typical high achiever, a great example of what I have coined Shouldaholic, working towards the success our Asian parents wanted for us. When her body shut down (in the form of paralysis of her face) at age 20, she had to figure out deal with the rare neurological condition Trigeminal Neuralgia. This is not a curable disease, but, like many of us, this health issue now is a signal of time to stop and rest! She is a successful coach and an incredible role model for young Asians. Listen to her wisdom on our podcast! #CharleneWang #LivingOS #ModelBreakers #SherryYuanHunter

Raw and real, Tou Ger Lee shares the story about his Hmong parents' journey from the dangerous jungles of Laos to their new sponsored life in Wisconsin. A transformational coach who works with high achievers, Tou Ger knows what it is like to be successful and not actually feel anything. Drawing on his experience rejecting and then embracing his culture and heritage, Tou Ger embodies how to live your full authentic life doing what you are meant to do. A true Sandwich Kid, I love his wise advice to Sandwich Parents and and Kids. #sandwichparenting #sandwichkid #tougerlee

Raj Tawney is an American essayist and journalist based in New York. Raised in a multiracial household by an Indian father and an Italian/Puerto Rican American mother, his exposure to race, culture, and class has uniquely impacted his viewpoint. He has contributed essays to New York Magazine, The Boston Globe, O, the Oprah Magazine, Variety, LA Weekly, F(r)iction, Broad Street Review, Entropy Magazine, L.A. TACO and others. He’s hosted on TV for Zee North America, Namaste America and Public Television; and live events for Gold Coast International Film Festival, North Fork TV Festival, The Mudra Foundation and at numerous universities and cinemas. Currently working on a memoir about multiracial/multiethnic Americans, Raj is a proud husband, and father of two rescue parrots and one rescue puppy. #sherryyuanhunter #sandwichparenting #sandwichkid #rajtawney

Tim Brantingham comes from a long line of Ohio missionaries living in Asia (5th generation to be exact). He was born in Taiwan, returned to the US for college, lived in various cities in Asia as an expat, married an American-Japanese wife, is the father of 3 kids, and recently relocated from Hong Kong to Japan. He’s not only a Sandwich Kid where his parents made decisions that greatly differed from what was expected of them, he is also a Third Culture Kid and a Sandwich Parent himself. Join us as we discuss how all this impacts his life and how he parents his children. #sandwichparenting #consciousparenting #thirdculturekid #sandwichkid #expatlife #timbrantingham #livinginAsia #greatdad

Canadian author Elen Ghulam was born to a Czech mother and an Iraqi father. She spent her youth going back and forth between the two cultures and languages. Mother to three grown children, she is also a flamenco dancer, an artist, and a hostess-chef extraordinaire.  Prior to having kids, she had the fantasy of being the best mother in the world, you know, Mother Theresa + Mary Poppins + Mr. Rogers all mushed together! Lovable and strict. The kids would be the most awesome kids in the world, excelling in everything. But then she became a mother and realized that it was much harder than she thought. Join our joyous chat where we reunite after decades of apart to talk about motherhood from the perspective of an empty nester. #sandwichparenting #consciousparenting #respectfulparenting #gentleparenting #peacefulparenting #elenghulam #ihath

Jen Lumanlan is the founder of Your Parenting Mojo, where she examines scientific research related to child development through the lens of respectful parenting. She is a prolific researcher, writer and podcaster. In our conversation, Jen touches on numerous topics that I think you will find profound and insightful. #sandwichparenting #consciousparenting #respectfulparenting #gentleparenting #peacefulparenting #yourparentingmojo #jenlumanlan #parentcoach

Eli and Jen are a husband and wife coaching team with two teen children.  They decided shortly after their first child was born they were going to parent differently than their parents did. They are professional coaches with years of training, certified by the World Coaching Institute as Child, Youth, Parent and Family Coaches. They work with parents who are dealing with toxic /dysfunctional / abusive parents trying to heal their childhood trauma to ensure they are not continuing the cycle with their own children. #sandwichparenting #consciousparenting #respectfulparenting #gentleparenting #peacefulparenting #respectcc #jenandeli #familycoaching #childhoodtrauma #breakthecycle

Michelle Lee Diasinos, parent to two, is a Conscious Parent advocate, coach, author and co-host of The Mothers’ Roundtable podcast. Read her chapter in the #1 International Best Selling Change Makers Volume 4, where she shares her personal transformation that led her into this place of service to parents navigating their unique path. A recovering perfectionist, Michelle delves into the challenges parents face when perfection becomes a problem. One of the many exciting projects she's initiated is "Heal My Story" a platform for people to anonymously write about their healing journey. Join our chat and hear what she said that moved me to tears. #sandwichparenting #consciousparenting #respectfulparenting #gentleparenting #peacefulparenting #michelleleediasinos #healmystory #themothersroundtable #perfectionism

After deciding that her Super Mom/Tiger Mom approach was not going to work (not too long after the birth of her son!), Lina Lie did her research and now is a parenting coach, focused on Peaceful Parenting. She shares her journey and how a peaceful parenting approach not only helped her be the kind of parent she wants to be, but it has also improved her marriage. Listen to our chat and find out how parent coaching can be the supportive, non-judgmental support you need. #sandwichparenting #consciousparenting #respectfulparenting #peacefulparenting #gentleparenting #linalie #theheartfulmamacoach

Adrienne Hedger is the award-winning cartoonist behind the popular web comic “Hedger Humor.” Her work has been featured on popular media outlets such as BuzzFeed, The Huffington Post, Upworthy, Today.com, Yahoo!, Disney, and Nickelodeon. Several of Adrienne’s cartoons have become viral sensations, reaching tens of millions of people worldwide. We had so much fun on this episode where she shared her story and parenting approach. Parenting is ridiculous hard and humour really is the best way to deal with some of the frustrating moments. Read Adrienne’s hilarious and relatable cartoons at her Hedger Humor website, watch her videos on YouTube, like her Facebook page, and laugh along at Instagram. #sandwichparenting #consciousparenting #respectfulparenting #peacefulparenting #parentingwithumor #parentingwithhumour #hedgerhumor #adriennehedger 

A Sandwich Parent who saved herself from a complete loss of cognitive functions to being Australia’s first Certified Trauma Recovery Coach, Linda Meredith truly knows what suffering from CPTSD is like.  Based out of Brisbane, Linda makes her trauma recovery expertise available globally through her YouTube channel, Healing CPTSD website, and Facebook community.  She wants you to believe in yourself and have hope.  She did it and she wants you to know you can too. #sandwichparenting #consciousparenting #peacefulparenting #respectfulparenting #parentingwithcptsd #lindameredith #healingfromcomplexptsd