Bad Movies & Beer

Love conquers all this week when Cooper and Nolan tell the story of TROMEO & JULIET! This Troma-riffic take on The Bard's classic tale of star-crossed lovers features all the body piercing, kinky sex, and dismemberment you'd expect from a Lloyd Kaufman film, but what you might NOT expect is how close it actually is to the original. Despite being absolutely gobsmacked by what they're seeing, the guys still manage to make it a Valentine's Day to remember, with arguments about dating vegetarians, the relationship between body hair and creepiness, and whether or not raisins belong in any other food. No need to bring flowers or candy; this episode (featuring not one but TWO beers from the Shakespeare Brewing Company) is here and it's ready for love!

Cooper and Nolan are coming back down to Earth this week when they discuss SUPERMAN RETURNS by special request! It was only 12 episodes ago that the guys covered a Superman movie, and let's just say a LOT has changed since then. A nearly two-decade gap means there's a new Man of Steel in town, along with more modern effects and a brand new story. You know, unless you count the parts where they re-hash Superman's origin AGAIN... Was this able to re-establish the Superman movie franchise, or did the lengthy runtime and questionable performances stop this return from being triumphant? Look up in the sky to find out; this episode (featuring a beer from Flying Monkeys Craft Brewery) is ready to save the day!

Cooper and Nolan are starting 2026 off with a bang this week, when they finally discuss KILLER CONDOM! This virtually indescribable German horror/comedy is one that the guys have been wanting to cover for a while based purely on the title and subject matter, and it did NOT disappoint. Between hilarious POV shots, absurd practical FX, and a never-ending parade of bizarre characters, costumes, and sets, you'd be forgiven for thinking this movie was all some crazy dream.  And maybe it was, but that doesn't mean it can't reveal something about life, love, and the pursuit of happiness. So get your rubber ready; this episode (featuring a beer from the Tooth and Nail Brewing Company) is one you'll definitely want to sink your teeth into.

Cooper and Nolan are fighting to cross the finish line this week when they cover JINGLE ALL THE WAY! After overindulging during their annual beer draft, it looked like the guys were going to need a Christmas miracle to get this episode out on time. But they rallied, reconvened, and are ready to talk about the many unbelievable parts of this movie, all while handing out coal to Rita Wilson, Jim Belushi, and accomplished comedian Sinbad.  It might be a more sober time than anyone expected, but there's still plenty of festive fun to be had; this episode (featuring a whopping 12 beers from Tag Liquor Stores Craft Beer Advent Calendar) is one you'll be happy to find under the tree!

Cooper and Nolan are manning up this week when they cover MALONE by special request! This paint-by-numbers 80s action/thriller doesn't offer a lot of original beats, but what it DOES offer is the chance to discuss stereotypical masculinity, moustaches, and Burt Reynolds' filmography (which one of the guys was shocked to learn did NOT include Three Men and a Baby). Throw in a problematic love interest and a racially-charged political subplot and you've got the makings of an explosive conversation. So get ready to light the fuse; this episode (featuring a beer from the Lake of Bays Brewing Co.) is ready to blow you away!

Cooper and Nolan are giving thanks this week when they celebrate THANKSKILLING! This gloriously unhinged B-movie (and that might be generous) promised a murderous turkey and boobs in the first second. But after being on the guys' radar for years could it possibly deliver the goods? To find out you'll have to dig into a cornucopia of terrible performances, excessive gore, and even more excessive Thanksgiving puns, so pull up a chair; this episode (featuring a beer from the Turkey Shoot Brewing Co.) will have you hoping for leftovers.

Cooper and Nolan are going back to where it all began this week when they cover X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE! What could have been a meaningful stand-alone movie about Marvel's most popular mutant ended up feeling more like X-Men 4 thanks to several gratuitous character cameos.  The less said about some of those the better, although they did give the guys plenty to get angry about. Throw in a bunch of awful CG, questionable casting, and the bastardization of multiple storylines, and you've got what basically amounts to a comic book fan's nightmare. So yeah, in case you couldn't tell the claws are DEFINITELY coming out; this episode (featuring a beer from the Balderdash Brewing Co.) will scratch you right where you itch.

Cooper and Nolan are trying to keep a grip on reality this week when they spend Halloween with HOBGOBLINS! This notorious Gremlins rip-off is more confusing than it is scary, although part of that could be because the creatures the audience is supposed to be afraid of are basically just immobile plush toys. Throw in a cast of terrible actors, a plot that doesn't make any sense, and a universe without defined boundaries, and it's no wonder the guys had to spend most of their time guessing what was happening.  Is this thing fantasy or failure? The world may never know. Either way, there's one thing that's for sure: this episode (featuring a beer from Lighthouse Brewing Co.) is one you won't want to keep locked up!

Cooper and Nolan are hoping to avoid disaster this week when they discuss METEOR! You can draw a direct line from this late 70s Sean Connery movie to big hits like Armageddon and Deep Impact, but you can also see why it helped (temporarily) destroy the disaster movie craze. Loaded with terrible special effects and some of the most melodramatic scenes you can imagine, this Earth-shattering dud also features a lightweight romantic subplot that had the guys sharing Cold War flirting tips, views on masculinity, and more than one missile pun. The countdown is on, so head for cover; when it comes to this episode (featuring a beer from Stanley Park Brewing) there's nowhere to hide!

Cooper and Nolan are searching for the light switch this week when they find themselves ALONE IN THE DARK! Unlike the well-cast early 80s horror movie of the same name, this mid 2000s movie stars Christian Slater, Tara Reid, and Stephen Dorff, yet somehow was NOT a straight-to-video release. It's also based on a video game, which might explain the paper thin characters and nonsensical plot (but not why the CGI is so incredibly bad). Still, that won't stop the guys from feeling around for something to grab on to, so don't be afraid; this episode (featuring a beer from the Field House Brewing Co.) is one you won't mind being alone with!

Cooper and Nolan are crashing down to Earth this week when they cover one of Hollywood's all-time legendary failures - HOWARD THE DUCK! This George Lucas-produced movie is long on duck puns and short on everything else, but even if it had a more coherent plot and better visual effects that still wouldn't be enough to overcome the implied romantic relationship between Marty McFly's mom and a giant talking waterfowl. Long-time listeners can probably predict exactly how much juvenile humor the guys managed to conjure up from this subplot (Hint: it's a LOT), but guessing that they'd make connections to Marv Albert, Meryl Streep, and Sixteen Candles would have been much harder. Sound confusing? Don't let it ruffle your feathers; this episode (featuring a beer from Burdock Brewery) will take to your ears like a duck takes to water!

Cooper and Nolan are heading back out to sea for another season when they cover the winner of this year's audience poll - John Carpenter's THE FOG! This cult classic was criminally underrated at the time of its release despite featuring a who's who cast of horror veterans, including Jamie Lee Curtis, Adrienne Barbeau, and Tom Atkins (but somehow NOT his trademark moustache). Could a slow build, various plot holes, and lack of backstory for the main characters explain why critics were turned off by this one? The guys make arguments for all three while also debating ghost motivation, whether or not the townsfolk deserved their fate, and - once again - if there's such a thing as an 80s perv.  You might not be able to see it, but there's plenty more out there to discover; this SEASON PREMIERE episode (featuring a beer from the Bickford Brewing Co.) is one fog you won't mind wading through!

Cooper and Nolan are fighting the future this week when they thaw out DEMOLITION MAN for a very special season finale! Nobody expected this Sylvester Stallone sci-fi classic to paint a remotely realistic view of the future when it came out in 1993, but watching it again for the first time in almost 20 years you'd be shocked to find how accurate some of the screenwriters' predictions were. No wonder the guys ended up waxing philosophically on libertarianism, modern media consumption, and incels - all while looking back on five years of movies and memories (and yes, d*** jokes). It's the perfect mix of serious topics and silliness that people have come to expect from this podcast, so chill out and enjoy it; this episode (featuring a beer or three from the Hop Valley Brewing Company) will have you asking the question: is it cold in here, or is it just me?

Cooper and Nolan are going up, up, and away this week, as they discuss SUPERMAN IV: THE QUEST FOR PEACE! Not only was this the movie that led to the downfall of Cannon Films, it also kept the Man of Steel off the silver screen for nearly two decades thanks to a forced storyline about the world's nuclear arms race. It's a heavy topic that the guys are NOT equipped to handle, which is why they've brought in a university professor with a P.H.D. in international relations (who also happens to be a HUGE DC comics fan) to provide an expert opinion. But don't worry, there's still all the usual silliness thanks to arguments about deep voiced children, Lois Lane's "faulty" memory, and whether or not Superman has a secret identity for his penis.  It's a quest for meaning that you're sure to enjoy; this episode (featuring a beer from Slake Brewing) is a super way to start your summer!

Cooper and Nolan are putting it out there for all the world to see this week when they meet THE INVISIBLE MANIAC! This VERY low budget 90s horror/comedy leans as hard as possible into gratuitous nudity, which it turns out is just one of many reasons the guys ended up getting on board with it. Throw in some hilariously awful special effects, questionable performances from actors who are clearly too old for their roles, and a plot that's ridiculous in all the right ways, and you've discovered the formula for a good time. So take off your lab coat and hit the showers; this episode (featuring a beer from Supply & Demand Beer and Pizza) is one you'll definitely be glad didn't stay invisible!

Cooper and Nolan are back in action this week when they cover DEATH WISH 3! This may be the shortest ever episode of this podcast, but when an extremely large portion of this movie is just Charles Bronson killing punks while thousands of completely ineffective bullets fly his way, how much is there to talk about? Still, the near-total absence of meaningful plot elements and characters doesn't stop the guys from covering college nicknames, criminal defense attorneys sleeping with their clients, and whether being invisible would make you a better police officer (stick around to the end to hear that part). At the end of the day it's a Cannon film starring Charles Bronson, so count on having a good time; this episode (featuring not one but TWO beers from Third Moon Brewing) will leave you wishing there was more. 

Cooper and Nolan are plugging in this week when they cover Wes Craven's SHOCKER! This supernatural serial killer story is heavy on action but light on details, which left the guys having to guess how or why a lot of stuff was happening. Maybe that's why they spent their time pulling from other movies like Poltergeist, Ghostbusters, and the director's own Nightmare on Elm Street to try to make sense of it. Still, with bigtime 80s horror vibes and a title that's easy to confuse with something else, you might want to find something to bite down on; this episode (featuring a beer from the Powerhouse Brewing Company) is 100,000 volts of fun!

Cooper and Nolan are reporting for duty this week when they cover Steven Spielberg's 1941! An over the top, madcap comedy with bankable stars, big set pieces and an anti-war (some say anti-American) message might have sounded good on paper, but unfortunately Spielberg forgot that comedies are supposed to be funny. Whether or not that was actually the goal or just a loose pretense for him to blow up a bunch of stuff we'll never know, but the guys were left trying to entertain themselves. Which, in addition to the usual assortment of silliness and d**k jokes, somehow ended up with Maggie Gyllenhaal catching strays.  Still, there's nothing to lose by enlisting in the conversation; this episode (featuring a beer from Eagle Brewery) might just make you want to stand up and salute!

Cooper and Nolan are ready to rock this week when they cover HARD ROCK ZOMBIES!  This musical horror/comedy is the kind of insane fever dream that's almost indescribable. Werewolf grandmothers, eyepatch-wearing little people, and zombie gas chambers are just some of the surprises you can expect to find - just don't hold your breath for any actual hard rock. Still, any movie with the Cannon Films logo in front of it is basically a backstage pass to fun, so rise up and press play; this episode (featuring a beer from Indie Ale House) has more life in it than you might think!

Cooper and Nolan are leaving it in park this week when they cover JURASSIC PARK III by special request! One of the earliest examples of fan service, this sequel features multiple actors phoning it in while CGI dinosaurs roam free in the background. It also asks the question: What if William H. Macy's character from Boogie Nights had his son go missing on an island full of escaped dinosaurs? That last bit might be an exaggeration, but it's not a stretch to say that this movie put the Jurassic Park franchise back in amber for over a decade. They say life finds a way, but can beer find a way to make watching this even slightly enjoyable? This episode (featuring a beer from Phillips Brewing & Malting Co.) holds the key to finding out - just make sure you lock the cage door when you leave.