How Come They Didn't Teach Me That In School?

Data shows that about 50% of marriages end in divorce. This means that 50% of our student population is experiencing, have, or will experience a significant shift in their family dynamics. On this episode, we talk to Tracy Callahan best-selling author, founder of the Split Society, and certified Divorce Coach on how schools can effectively connect and communicate with students of separated parents. Tracy drives home the point that "children experience divorce in the eyes of their parents" and that while conflict is inevitable it is also an opportunity. Tracy provides practical ways how schools can best support students and parents of separation. Connect with Us: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodast Email: howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Connect with Tracy Callahan Facebook: The Split Society Instagram: @thesplitsociety Connect with Dr. Lizz Dexter-Mazza Instagram: @dbtinschools Email: lizz@dbtinschools.com Website: dbtinschools.com Connect with Mariah Instagram: @mariahcdbt

On this episode, we interview Christi Venable, NCC, LPC. Christi is a Licensed Professional Counselor and founder of Smile Therapy Services, LLC. Smile provides mental health services for the community and schools. Christi shares both the pros and cons of being a mental healthcare provider as an outside contractor and how Smile is working to fill the gap that schools desperately need. Christi speaks candidly about how schools can financially compensate contracted mental health services, strategies to promote school staff wellness, and trends she and her staff have noticed since returning from the pandemic.  Connect with us: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast Email: howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Connect with Lizz: Instagram: @dbtinschools Email: lizz@dbtinschools.com Website: dbtinschools.com Connect with Christi Instagram: @smilesetherapyllc Website: https://www.smiletherapyservices.com/ Email: info@smiletherapyservices.com

As schools have reopened, activities have restarted, and the holidays are almost upon us some of us are realizing that overarching feeling of burnout might also be back. On this episode, we talk about the importance of self-care, how school staff can incorporate it into their day, and actionable steps schools can do to decrease staff burnout. We always hear "catch burn out before it is too late" but what do we do when we are already there? This episode is great for all of our staff, parents, and students who are counting down the days, hours, minutes, and even seconds until the Thanksgiving break. Connect with Us: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast Email: howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Learn more about DBT STEPS A in schools: Website: dbtinschools.com Instagram: @dbtinschools

On this episode, we interview Dr. Carlene Reid. Dr. Reid is a Speech & Language Pathologist, representative for the State Board of Education (Washington DC, Ward 8), and full-time federal employee. Dr. Reid has evaluated over 300 students to determine the need for special education services. We interview Dr. Reid regarding the signs to look for if a referral to a speech & language services are needed, how the field has changed due to the pandemic, and how SLP's function in schools. Dr. Reid also speaks passionately about the requirements of the school when parents or staff make speech referrals and how parents can support their child's needs. Dr. Reid provided us with the important message to all our listeners of "don't wait, if you see something make the referral!" Connect with us: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast Email: howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Learn more about DBT STEPS A in Schools: Instagram: @dbtinschools Dr. Lizz Dexter-Mazza: @drlizzdm Website: dbtinschools.com

As we progress through the school year, practices, activities, sports, games, etc. have made a return. During the pandemic, our everyday lives came to an abrupt halt and forced us ALL to realize just how busy we were. Now that activities are seemingly resuming in most states, how do we find the balance between engaging in enough activities and intentional "downtime"? On today's show we discuss activities families and schools can do to assess their schedules and specific activities and skills schools and counselors can reinforce to most effectively support their students. We talk through how to encourage a student to engage in activities when they are explicitly aversive. Connect with us: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast Email: howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Learn more about DBT STEPS A in schools: Instagram: @dbtinschools Email: lizz@dbtinschools.com Website: dbtinschools.com

On this episode, we discuss transitioning from virtual to hybrid or in person as schools and families. We  talk about some of the trends we seen in the behaviors of our students and children now that most have returned back to in person learning. We also discuss specific skills that teach our students (and adults) how to effectively cope with our changing environment. Follow Us: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast Email: howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Website: https://www.dbtinschools.com/

Code switching has become a word popularized in the decade. Originally, code switching was defined by the ability to switch back and forth between two different languages. Presently, code switching has transformed into using specific wording, vernacular, or phrases depending on context or environment. On today's episode, we discuss why it is important to teach code switching to our children. We consider about how to generalize the skill of using code switching, how to integrate code switching into your SEL program, and provide specific examples to use in your lesson plan. We also examine the cultural context of code switching and how it has been used to assimilate to the dominant culture out of fear of being judged. Mariah discussed how she taught this lesson to her students and Lizz speaks about how she continually teachers her children how to code switch.   Article by Ida Harris: https://www.yesmagazine.org/opinion/2019/12/17/culture-code-switching Connect with us: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast Email: howcometheydidnptpodcast@gmail.com Website: https://www.dbtinschools.com/

On this episode, we interview Kendra Barnes. Kendra Barnes is a full-time Real Estate Investor and founder of The Key Resource. Her real estate investments afforded her the ability to retire from the 9-5 life at the age of 32. She created The Key Resource to inspire, empower and educate people about the power of home ownership and Real Estate investment.   Kendra speaks candidly about the skills she has learned over the years, the sacrifices she made, her mistakes, and how she recently had to show vulnerability in her personal life for more support. Kendra, Lizz & Mariah all discuss their struggles with perfection, comparisons, and what intentional steps they have taken (and are still taking) to overcome the desire for perfection.  Kendra embodies the spirit and mantra of the "How Come They Didn't Team Me That in School?" podcast by sharing her knowledge across multiple platforms through online courses, her blog, social media, and newsletter.     Contact Kendra  Website: https://thekeyresource.com/ Instagram: @thekeyresource  Follow Us: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast  Email: howcometheydidnt@gmail.com  Website: https://www.dbtinschools.com/

On this episode, we interview Matthew Brooks, Registered Art Therapist. He helps us understand the effectiveness of art therapy and how he uses it with people who have experienced trauma and in a private practice. Matthew also answers the questions many parents and teachers have what do I do when my child creates a disturbing image? Lastly, Matthew explains the specific training and education art therapist have. Listen in for this informative episode. Connect with Matthew Brooks: Instagram: @matthew.brooks.atr Email: matthew@artalexandriaarthterapy.com Website: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/matthew-brooks-alexandria-va/778325 Connect with us:  Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast  Email: howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Website: https://www.dbtinschools.com/

We understand that times have changed and behaviors students/adolescence are engaging in are very different than what we experienced at their age. Sometimes these generational differences make it difficult to to distinguish between if the behavior is typical for their age group or cause for concern. On this episode, Lizz & Mariah cover commonly asked subject matters. We provide targeted questions to ask in regards to your student or adolescent to determine if further action is necessary or if the behaviors are typical for their age group and location. We cover the topics of technology use, sleep, substance use, and sexual intercourse.   Lizz and Mariah encourage you to talk to your children and students early and often about behaviors they might or will experience in the future (sex, substances, sleep issues.) This will help to prepare them to make effective decisions when these situations arise as they mature.    All of the data that we shared during this episode was sourced from the CDC Youth Risk Behavior Survey. This data was used from the 2017 and 2019. We encourage to look up your data by your local area, as it may differ dramatically than the national averages. Link to survey: https://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/data/yrbs/index.htm Connect with us: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodacst Email: @howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Website: https://www.dbtinschools.com/

Now more than ever, schools are understanding the importance of teaching well-being and providing emotional support to their students. However, implementing an SEL (Social Emotion Learning) program can prove to be difficult, especially in the midst of a pandemic.  Schools with a diverse population sometimes experience difficulty when implementing a generalized SEL program to one that their students can identify with. On this episode, Mariah discusses how she has adapted and modified her school's SEL program (DBT STEPS-A) to fit the needs of an African American, majority male population. Mariah also gives concrete examples of how she has personally witnessed her students use skills in times of distress. This episode  provides concrete examples on how to create fun activities that will increase motivation and participation with your students during their SEL program.     Mariah Covington implements DBT STEPS-A (Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Training for Emotional Problem Solving for Adolescents) at a weekday boarding school in Washington, DC. Mariah explains in detail the population and the structure of DBT STEPS A at her school in this episode. You can contact us at: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast Gmail: @howcometheydidntpodast.com

In the United States, more than 7.8 million students qualify for Special Education services (ages 3- 21) during the 2018 to 2019 school year. This number is around 14% of all public school students. However, depending on your population, location, or school setting this number can climb much higher or decrease. In addition, with early detection, special education services have increased tremendously in the school setting since the 1970's.  On this episode Lizz and Mariah discuss IEP's (Individual Education Plan) in schools. We outline what parents need to know if their child is found eligible for an IEP, how schools can use their SEL (social emotional learning) programs to meet IEP goals, and how counselors can write measurable goals to meet their students needs. We also talk about how to encourage students to become an active participant in their IEP process to remove the stigma. This will be a great listen for our parents, teachers, clinicians, school administrators, and students who want to learn more about IEPs and the connection between mental health. We understand that we can help to erase the stigma of IEP's by providing information to the general public.  Source: National Center for Education Statistics Connect with us: Instagram: @howcometheydidntpodcast Email us at: howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Learn more about DBT STEPS-A www.dbtinschools.com lizz@dbtinschools.com

The events that took place on January 6th is a day that will live in infamy for our country. Our children and students watched, read, and viewed from their social media accounts the events that took place. Now more than ever, children have access to information (or misinformation) of what is occurring in the world. On today's episode, we discuss how to talk with your children or students about the events on January 6th. We give concise tips on how as parents, teachers, and administrators we can show emotion and remain regulated. We encourage all schools to have this discussion in a small group setting only.    Quick Tip: If you are feeling uncomfortable and don't know where to start, start by acknowledging that you are uncomfortable and stating that aloud to your students or children. They will most likely appreciate your vulnerability. Contact us: Follow us on IG @howcometheydidntpodcast  Email us at howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com

As we approach 2021, many of us have goals, objectives, and targets for the year. If 2020 has taught us anything, it is that things can happen that are out of our control that change the complete trajectory of our plans. However, the one thing that we will always have is our mindset. On this episode, Lizz and Mariah discuss growth mindset versus fixed mindset. Growth mindset is the belief that one can get better at something with time, effort, and energy. Fixed mindset is the belief that people are born with innate talents, intelligence and abilities and that cannot change. We discuss how to identify a child or student with the fixed mindset and cultivate an environment of growth mindset. We also explain why adults shouldn't tell children that they are smart. Book: Mindset by Carol S. Dweck Follow us on IG @howcometheydidntpodcast Email us at howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com

During the holiday season, many people try to figure out thoughtful ways they can express gratitude. On this episode, we discuss how to build gratitude in our children and students. We talk about how we personally have created effective every day gratitude practices that take just a few minutes to complete. We understand with the current pandemic 2020, has been a challenging year for many people around the world. However,  we like to say "what has the pandemic done for us" rather than "What has the pandemic done to us." Lastly, we both reveal what is the gift we like to receive most as mental health therapist from out clients and students. In the spirit of building a gratitude practice take a few minutes out of your day after this podcast and answer the question "I am grateful for _____."   Make sure to share, like us, and rate us on @Apple.  You can follow us on IG @howcometheydidntpodcast. You can also email us directly @howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com

On this episode, we interview Rachel Englehart. Rachel is a Registered Dietician (RD) and Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC). Rachel works with adults, families, youth, and schools on nutrition. Establishing a healthy relationship with food and body image are a part of her mission as a part of her nutrition counseling.  Rachel provides education on intuitive eating and how we can model what a healthy relationship with food looks like as adults. The pandemic has shed light on our already complicated relationship with food and in some cases have exacerbated body image issues and increased eating disorders. Lastly, Rachel shares resources of how families with little or no access to fresh food can create a nutritious meal at little or no cost.  Rachel is passionate that our relationship with food does not have to be complicated or result in bad feelings.  You can contact Rachel at rachel@renutrition.com.com. Here website is https://renutritiondc.com. Here are a list of the resources that Rachel mentioned during the episode: "Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense, Revised and Updated" by Ellyn Satter " "Intuitive Eating" by Evelyn Tribole, Elyse Resch    You can contact us: howcometheydidntpocast@gmail.com   Instagram/Facebook @howcometheydidntpodcast

Most of our country is experiencing an uptick in Covid-19 cases. If 2020 taught us anything, reality is, we will have anything but a normal holiday season. On this episode we address a few topics regarding the holidays and coping with Covid-19. How are we as adults coping with the ever changing landscape? Subsequently, how are we teaching our children and students to accept this reality?  Lizz and Mariah both share personal stories of what they are grateful for.  Radical acceptance is accepting things as they are and not as they should be. The more that we are accepting of our reality the less we suffer.  Follow us on Instagram @howcometheydidntpodcast.  Email us your questions or comments at howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com Have a great Holiday. 

On this special episode, Lizz & Mariah discuss the 2020 presidential election results.  We talk about how parents, teachers, and counselors can effectively speak to youth about the election, news cycle, and social media. This episode also talks about the value in honoring the other side of your personal political beliefs, even when you don't agree. We understand that many people do not hold the same beliefs as we do. We encourage and challenge you to listen to this episode and push yourself towards understanding.  Like, comment, share and follow us on Instagram @howcometheydidntpodcast.com Send us an email on how as a parent or school you discuss the electin results 

This episode features special guest Jordan Costen-Sumpter. Jordan is the Founder and Chairman of SafeSpaceNova an organization which is dedicated to  providing youth ages 14 to 18 that identify as LGBTQ+ a safe, supportive, and accepting environment. In this interview, Jordan speaks candidly about his experiences with bullying in school because of his sexuality and how he became resilient after attempting suicide at the age of 14. Jordan speaks about how parents, teachers, and schools can create supportive environments for the LGBTQ+ community.  SafeSpaceNova can be found at https://safespacenova.org/ and @SafeSpaceNova on Instagram Please follow us on social media and send us your questions or comments on @howcometheydidntpodcast on Instagram and Facebook

On this episode Mariah & Lizz continue their conversation about implicit bias in schools. This episode is packed with tangible ways that as a teacher, administrator, or a school we can work to effectively decrease bias. We also share personal stories of how we have experienced implicit bias. We understand that this is a journey and will continue this conversation. Let us know how you are working to decrease bias in your school by emailing us at howcometheydidntpodcast@gmail.com or sending us a message on IG @howcometheydidntpodcast.