Real You, Real Money with Ray Dodd

The brilliant Asher Larmie joins me today to talk about combatting scarcity, prioritising accessibility, and learning to embrace making the money you desire. Asher is an educator and advocate combatting weight stigma and promoting weight-inclusive care. They offer courses, books and masterclasses that empower you on your health journey without all the toxic weight loss nonsense. Asher is part of my money program Plenty, and has had huge success in doubling their income within the space of 6 months. We walk through that journey together, starting with how to challenge money stories carried through generations, facing the unique finances of being self-employed, and embracing a sense of community to lead you through it all. This episode is for you if you’re interested in how to challenge your conditioning around money… and so is Plenty! Doors are now open to join, with full information on the program and community and a link to sign up right here: https://www.raydodd.co.uk/plenty.   For more information on working with Asher, check out @thefatdoctor https://www.fatdoctor.co.uk/   QUOTES "I didn't realise just how much that was passed down, I didn't realise it massively impacts how I live my entire life, in the fear that money could just disappear at any moment in time."   "It felt like one of my deepest, darkest secrets. How dare I admit that I not only want to earn money, but I think I can and maybe should earn money. "   "The whole point of this community is that...we are forming a resistance almost. We are here to support each other, but also to help each other to fight back."      

'It costs that much cause it takes me f***ing hours…' If you sang this lyric in your head then you’ve probably heard of Laura Jane Barnes, who joins us in today’s episode!   Of course, Laura Jane is more than just a viral song maker (which we’ll get into in the pod). She is a business strategist who helps artists and handmade business owners turn their social media efforts into an engaged and loyal online following.   Tune in as Laura and I talk through why visibility as a small business owner is more essential than you think, how to establish trust with your following, and why the algorithm isn’t your enemy.   For more about Laura Jane, go to: https://www.laurajanebarnes.com/ Or follow @heyitslaurajane   And if you’re interested in making your own impact online, join the waitlist for Plenty right here: https://www.raydodd.co.uk/plenty     QUOTE 'When it comes to like artists and hand makers and stuff like that, I see a lot of “I don't want to be a content creator. I don't want to be a personal brand’ … Well, you don't have to be, but your journey is going to be more difficult. Because the reason that someone buys from a small business owner over a huge company is that personal connection.'   'I think the other thing with showing up is that people assume that in order to be visible that you have to give up your privacy, and I don't think that's the case. It's not about letting strangers in, it's about letting yourself out.'   'This is the main piece with engagement that so many people are missing: you need to give people an opportunity to share themselves, their values, their opinions, their experiences, their preferences, because people want to talk about themselves…. Then you'll find that people actually start building friendships within your comment section.'

If you’re running an independent business, it is almost impossible to avoid thinking about the current economy and how it’s effecting sales. I’ve seen so many people preparing for the worst, closing down their small businesses, or simply adjusting to the change in the market while looking back at the ‘e-commerce pandemic boom’ as a thing of the past.   It’s a lot to take in. And the good news is, you do have control over a lot of how you move forward. That’s why today, I’m breaking down the misconceptions and misunderstandings about how something like a recession, a cost of living crisis, or an economic downturn can impact our businesses, and what we can do about it.   QUOTES   “There has never been more ways to make this work, even though what we're being told is that there's never been less ways.”   “If somebody chooses to work with you, you have to trust them.  It's not your business to decide who should or shouldn't be working with you or how people should or shouldn't spend their money.”   “People do get more discerning when there is this general scarcity in the air. It’s a bit chicken and egg.”

I’m returning after a little hiatus, and with me is the brilliant Lauren Currie! Lauren is the Founder of UPFRONT, and is on a mission to change confidence for 1 million women. An all-around powerhouse, Lauren has been awarded an OBE for her services to design and diversity. Together we look at visibility from all angles, especially the ones that are trickier to navigate. From the positives of learning to own your work and show up as yourself, to the less explored complexity of privacy, safety, and pressure, we break down what it really means for people from all walks of life to show up online. Ever notice how visibility is an ‘obligation’ that seems to fall on female business owners? Then this episode is for you…   You can find out more about Lauren here: https://laurencurrie.co/ https://www.weareupfront.com/   QUOTES “You can be private and authentic at the same time.”   “I think with female founders, the world wants to know everything about you. It's like: I'm going to decide if I'm your customer or not based on where you live, who you're in a relationship with, how you parent. I think it’s risky and we're only just starting to scratch the surface of what the consequences are for the women in these positions.”   “When you end up with a life that's so different to  the life that you came from, how do you  keep progressing?”   “Why do I need to be camera ready every day when I'm trying to actually build a business?  I look at male founders in the same position as me and they are not doing that.”

Today I’m taking a look back at the journey from the start of my business to where I am today. I’m currently revamping my own messaging and funnels, which has turned out to be a great chance to reflect on all of the experiences, inspirations, and even pitfalls that that are at the heart of my offers.   Listen in to hear about how and why I started my business, the circumstances that led me to the self-trust I needed to jump in with both feet, and how you can do the same no matter where you’re at.   If you caught the shoutout at the beginning of the episode, the undeniably brilliant Tamu Thomas just released her first book ‘Women Who Work Too Much’. Check it out here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Women-Who-Work-Too-Much/dp/1837820740   And if you’re interested in the upcoming round of Plenty, be sure to get on the waitlist: https://www.raydodd.co.uk/plenty     QUOTES “I realised how much easier it was for me to make money when I decided to trust myself. When I decided to do things in ways that felt good to me,  that is when it worked.   “I don't care what people think of me being visible. I need to feed my family.  That was a far more pressing concern than: what does so and so think of me being visible? Am I annoying these people?”   “I don't want you to have to hit a rock bottom experience in order to be able to act on your zones of genius or your deep desires. That was my story, but it doesn't need to be your story”

I’ve had a breakthrough around how I manage my days, and ultimately how I manage my business... so of course I wanted to share it with you! There is so much focus on starting out in your business, but what happens once the excitement, the adrenaline, and even a little bit of fear has worn off?  In a counterproductive way, I realised that I started replicating the very corporate structures that I started a business to get away from - things like equating being at my desk to productivity. These habits felt safe as they are familiar, but they certainly weren't productive or healthy. Tune in for advice on how to break out and run your business and time in a way that works for you.   QUOTES “We talk a lot about starting up, but we don't really talk about the ebbs and flows of running a business for a long time.”   “I was trying to replicate the working habits of being in an office…when part of the point of having my own business is not working within a system that doesn’t work for me!"   "I’ve found new ways of splitting my day up so I get more done, and don’t feel obligated to be tied to my desk...I am so much happier because I don't feel like I'm having to sacrifice one part of my life for the other.”

Today, we’re chatting about safety, familiarity, trust, and how all of these things come together to build the foundation of your business.   Running your own business means that you are likely reinventing typical structures, whether it’s in your sales, your offers, or even your day to day. You are at the centre of it all, and while that is super freeing in theory, it can be a challenge in times of doubt.   When we have to make big decisions or take risks, our brain’s instinct is to search for safety in the familiar. So what happens when we enter the uncharted territory of our new, play-by-our-own-rules business? Tune in for a discussion on how to avoid outsourcing your trust, and making decisions based on what you know instead of what you fear.   Interested in joining Plenty? Get on the waitlist here: https://www.raydodd.co.uk/plenty     QUOTES     “We are so worried about drowning – about it all going wrong – that we are like squirming with our legs, working frantically to stop drowning, when actually we can just put our feet on the floor.”   “The role of your subconscious is to make sure that you are safe. So it is asking without you consciously being aware of it in every situation: is this familiar? If it's familiar, I'll read it as safe.”   “I have to look at what is true, what I know, what I can touch. Not what I fear is true.”

Today we’re talking about how the people around you impact the kind of money you can make. From the influences you absorbed growing up, to clients’ opinions on affordability, to the type of businesses you aspire toward, it seems like you can’t turn a corner without someone else’s money beliefs jumping out to inform or challenge your own.   So how do we surround ourselves with money beliefs that will build us up and help us make the money we desire? Tune in for insight on the importance of a supportive money community, plus more on the unique inherited challenges that those of us historically left out of moneymaking face.   QUOTES “I do think making money is harder for people who've traditionally been left out of money making. Imagine the people not in the cigar room drinking the brandy. The mental gymnastics that we have to do, the unravelling of the conditioning is broader and louder.”   “One of the reasons communities are so impactful is we share power.  We share power in communities. We share information, we share mistakes and failures. We share wins, we share wobbles,   “Making more money is vulnerable. It's so vulnerable. And you do not need to hold that alone.”

In this episode, I’m breaking down why your money mindset is directly linked to your sales. You may not realise it when you’re writing that sales email or editing that reel, but how you show up and sell in your business is directly related to how you feel about money, your potential to make it, and the role it plays in your life… not to mention in the world.   Tune in for insights on how improving your money mindset can help you meet your sales goals, plus lots more on taking up space and giving ourselves permission to sell.   And remember, Sell That Thing starts on February 12! Here’s the link with all the info: https://www.raydodd.co.uk/sell-that-thing   QUOTES “My view on selling is that you are inviting people into your world, and yes there's an exchange of money in there, but the exchange of money is not the thing.”   “You're also gonna want to figure out how to sell without compromising who you are so that the whole of you gets to show up in selling. When you do that, you are going to attract the best fit people for you.”   “We often conflate selling and unkindness. People feel like the more they go out and sell, somehow they're adding more bad to the world... You are adding good to the world, really falling in love with what you do in terms of making the world a better place.”

In this episode, I’m jumping into some sticky money territory… even for this podcast!   I work with so many clients that are incredibly conscious of the ethics of their money making. If you’re a listener, it’s likely that you fall into this category of beautifully big-hearted business owners!   While there’s obviously so many good things about striving for an ethical business, there are moments where your conditioning around money can masquerade as kindness and keep you from entering that big moneymaking space that you long to fill.   Tune in for the sideways lessons we can learn from ‘unethical money makers’, and how we can embrace the many definitions of an asset that don’t have to do with ownership.   QUOTES   “Sometimes I think our worry, our moralizing, our over commitment to what's ethical and what's not ethical is holding us back in ways it does not need to.”   “We need to put a little more thought in than ‘this feels not right’. We need to think more critically than that.  Sometimes the ick is legit, and sometimes the ick is social conditioning in disguise, and it's keeping us broke.”   “The way that we've been conditioned is to believe that what money touches becomes bad or unkind is super interesting, because if we were just talking about community and we weren't thinking about what that community paying us, we wouldn't have these same thoughts.  When we introduce selling (to a community), our footing becomes unstable and we don't really know what's okay anymore.”

The idea of selling is one of the most common points of anxiety for coaches and independent business owners – who do we approach? How do we share our offers? How hard do we push? How do we deal with rejection? With a maybe?   Sales consultant Leah Gregory joins me to hash out these questions and more. We talk through those moments where sales get sticky, and the steps we can take to make selling less pressured and more about connection.   Leah works with 6 & 7 figure coaches to sell high ticket offers, lead and train their sales teams, and help them make more sales and help more people. You can find out more about Leah on IG at @iamleah.co.uk   Interested in joining me for a whole course on getting comfortable with selling? Read all about Sell That Thing here: https://www.raydodd.co.uk/sell-that-thing   QUOTES   “People write themselves off or they discount themselves from ever being the kind of person that can sell because they're like identity currently feels so far away from that… (instead) I believe we’ve unlearned the ability to sell ourselves.”   ‘Sometimes “I can't afford it” is the easiest way to say no without saying no. It can be “I don't want to hurt your feelings because you're lovely, but I don't really understand how this offer fits into the context of my life.’   ‘When it comes to sales, we want to get down to the granular. It's having this particular problem with this particular aspect of self-worth. So when I make an invitation, it's going to be based on that.’

I need to rant. Right before I recorded this podcast, I watched my husband experience an awful sales call with an online coach in his industry. The thing that made this call especially bad was that it was a freebie consultation that ended in a HUGE amount of pressure to buy… which is exactly what I’m here to talk about today.   When we offer free value – whether it’s a 1:1 call or our everyday content – we need to be very aware of what the intention is behind it. Our own conditioning around scarcity can crop up when it’s time to share your offer, which it’s why it’s important to work through your money stuff so that you can focus your sales on your clients and the value they’ll get. Tune in for more on how!   QUOTES   ‘I'm not saying everybody who offers a strategy call for free is lying. What I'm saying is when you go on it and they're not actually giving you anything useful, trust is broken.’   “There’s the squirmy feelings, the way in which we get a client on a call or a customer in our emails and we feel like “If they don't buy, no one else is coming”. When we get those feelings, we need to address (why we’re) not trusting clients to make decisions for themselves.”   “We need to address our money stuff for other people, for our clients and customers so that they get to have a clean experience, a clean exchange when it comes to money with us.”

Welcome back to Real You Real Money, and happy new year!   A new year means a new phase for so many of us, so I wanted to talk about the reality of working towards our idea of success, and why navigating the ins and outs of this is trickier than it seems.   A lot of us set goals expecting that when we achieve them everything will fall into place. When we think this way, we can end up waiting for the ‘right time’ when really the right time is now. The the reality of achieveing a goal can also be much different than it seems, especially when it comes with a whole bunch of new responsibilities and expectations to sustain.   Tune in for tips on how to stop waiting for the permission of success, and how to make the pace of your business growth more sustainable.   And if you’d like to join me for Sell That Thing, get on the wait list right here: https://ray-dodd-ltd.ck.page/6f92c19f75     QUOTES “If you want to do bold truth telling content, here is my top tip for doing that.  Start saying bold truths.“   “I see a client pushing… holding on tightly to this goal. And the minute they hit it, they let go of the pen  and their hand is tired and it's shaking and it needs to rest.  And so of course they take their foot off the gas. They find themselves in this cycle and panic comes in and that just makes it harder and harder to actually show up. That's what happens when we treat an event as if it's success.”   “We want to build businesses that let us take breaks during the journey to where we're going, which only stops if we choose to retire.”

My brilliant guest Sarah Clarke is on mission to help talented women unlock their potential and find more happiness at work. Her business Shine Brighter Consulting developed from nearly two decades of work in employee happiness and development, and helps women design their best work lives on their terms.   Sarah and I chat through how creating a you-shaped business is a fundamental part of finding joy in your work – especially if you work for yourself. Tune in for insight on life during and after corporate, how to connect to your true self, and whether monetizing your passion is always a good idea.   You can find out more about Sarah at www.shinebrighterconsulting.co.uk www.linkedin.com/in/sarahjclarke @thehappystartupcoach     QUOTES   “If you have a purpose aligned business, you can make more money and be happier. Your purpose will be attached to your lived experience. It’s determined by so many different parts of who you are. It's as you unique as you are.”   “I have a valuable bloody gift. I have a talent that is going to help someone in their life. And if they're willing to exchange money for that support, then you have a business. If they aren't willing to exchange money for that support, then you have a charity.”   "Starting from the ground up has to be what I refer to as kind of resetting. What is a yes for you? What is a no for you?  How does that play out in terms of the intuition you're going to apply to running your business?"

My guest today is the brilliant Ruthie Zerai! Ruthie a professional life and business coach who empowers people looking to become a better version of themselves everyday.    We chat about the idea of having a purpose, and the practical ways that you can find and follow yours. It’s easy to feel like you have to do it all, especially in some areas of the coaching space. Ruthie brings us examples from her own journey and experience that show us just how valuable it is to follow what you want instead of what you think you should want.   You can find more about Ruthie at   https://www.ruthiezerai.com/ @ruthiezerai   REFERENCES   Set Boundaries Find Peace, Nedra Glover Tawwab The Joy of Saying No, Natalie Lue   QUOTES   “My understanding of purpose is: how can you set yourself on a path that feels meaningful to you. And that's how you break down this whole big convoluted kind of topic around purpose into something that is digestible.”   “How does this fit with the greater context of my life?  I’m not saying that if it doesn't feel good, I don't do it. Because sometimes some things that are good for me might not always feel good. I'm more like ‘feel good’ in terms of like, does this feel true? Or am I doing it because I'm trying to be like somebody else?”

In this episode, I’m bringing you a big confession. Last year, I set out to double my income in 2023… and it didn’t happen.   Not meeting a goal brings up a lot of questions for all of us – should I feel shame? Should I feel like I did something wrong? Did I do something wrong?   I can tell you from experience, the answer to all three of those questions is a big resounding no. I may not have hit the numbers I set out to, but this year has taught me exactly what I needed to know.   I’m entering 2024 with something that will serve me even more than a doubled income - I’m making more space for myself and my goals, making big plans and giving them the big time they need, and accepting that the ups and downs of running a business are a reality… and not a shameful one!   Listen in and let’s normalise embracing the unique timing of your business.     QUOTE   “When we decide that we want to hit a goal… we do not know what we do not know. We don't know what it's going to take, what we're going to need to go through to get to where we're going.”   “Some of you are so focused on your business only being legit once you're making money, that that's the only problem you try and solve. The reason you're not making the money you want to make is because you're not showing up as the embodied version of yourself.”   “Deal with each issue at a time. Make that boring plan.”   

If you’ve ever found yourself freezing up, not getting traction, or longing for momentum that seems just out of reach, then this episode is for you.   When recording this episode, I was feeling stuck myself… no matter when you’re listening, there’s a decent chance I may be again! The peaks and valleys of running a business (and of life in general) are something we all face.   That is why I’m sharing the 5 techniques that I use to get unstuck! Tune in for how to meet yourself with compassion, from simpler motivational actions all the way to tackling the bigger challenges like burnout, dealing with change, and questioning the conditioning that stands in your way.    QUOTES   “If you can start the day with something you actually want to do, it will absolutely transform things. That's one of the best ways that you can get yourself unstuck.”   “My stuckness is almost like my past-self holding on to where I've been, because it senses things are going to change.  It senses I'm at the end of something, something new is beginning, and if I say stay stuck, I get to stay in this place that has been really uncomfortable in many ways, but is familiar.”   "One of the ways you can tell if you're in that space is you're jumping from task to task. You're probably feeling overwhelmed and like you've got to do everything, but actually end up doing very little."  

If you’ve ever struggled to balance your own needs alongside your business and the kids (or any caregiving), this episode is especially for you. My guest is the brilliant Doctor Jemma, an Empowerment Coach who helps mums bring to life their ambitions in a way that works in beautiful harmony with their life as a parent.   Tune in for insight on finding fulfilment for yourself while caring for others, and meeting yourself with compassion during the ebbs and flows of it all.   You can find more about Jemma at https://drjemma.co.uk/ on Instagram @ _dr.jemma   QUOTES   "Failure is just part of the journey. Sometimes you do things that either go right, that either go wrong. That's just the flip of the coin."   "Can mums really have it all? I don't think anyone can... I think you can have what you desire, but I don't think it looks necessarily like 'having it all' in that way."   "For me, balance is such a triggering word. It conveys that everything has to be of equal amounts at all times. The word that I relate to more is harmony.  It allows that sense of flow, fluidity. Sometimes I need to be more with my kids as opposed to my business. Sometimes I'm working more on my business than time with my kids and that's okay."

My guest today is the brilliant Lucy Sheridan!  Lucy is the one and only Comparison Coach, and helps people all over the world go from compare and despair to comparison free in their life and business.  Lucy lends us her huge range of experience and economic mind to dissect the ups and downs of running an online business, especially from a pre to post pandemic market. Tune in for juicy insight on how to handle income dips, ways to confront the vulnerability of running a business, and why stability can be sexy. You can find Lucy on Instagram @lucysheridan   And if you're listening on 19 October 2023, today is the final day to sign up for Plenty! Follow this link for all of the info: https://www.raydodd.co.uk/plenty

This week, I’m sharing my workshop for online business owners who are ready to drop the drama and up their income!   Tune in to learn about the ways that your conditioning is running the show and keeping money from feeling anything but calm, joyful and plentiful. And then of course, the 4 things that you can actively start doing to free yourself from that very money drama WITHOUT emotional bypassing!   This workshop is meant to give you a little preview of Plenty, which is currently open for you to join! Click this link for all the info: https://www.raydodd.co.uk/plenty   QUOTES   “If your brain is used to you feeling stressed and anxious around money, it will actually try and keep you there”   “Our inner turmoil fears what we will lose if we choose what we need over what we believe others need. It actually doesn't consider what your clients and customers need. It considers how to be perceived as kind.”   “Money talk has been so hidden from us that an open money themed community is incredibly disruptive, in a good way, to our conditioning. It's a brain rewriting tool all on its own.”