Motherhood Exposed Podcast

Today Zoe talks to Cat Strawbridge, trying to conceive community advocate and fellow podcaster, about her personal experiences in becoming a mum; starting right from the beginning, through some very difficult times to where she is now. Listen in today for both an emotional and humorous insight to Cat’s journey to motherhood.     KEY TAKEAWAYS   Motherhood comes in so many different forms, ‘everybody has a different kettle of fish’ to be contending with. Cat and her partner were diagnosed with unexplained fertility – they believe often this is actually just a ‘lack of knowledge’ about infertility. The progress in fertility is very limited compared to other healthcare areas, there is so much more research that needs to be done. Women need to be given more information and be more prepared about miscarriages, it’s something that isn’t spoken about enough and this and the lack of preparation given to women makes it even more traumatic. Finding a sense of mindfulness really helped Cat. She discovered that when she drew she didn’t think of anything else and this really helped her in emotionally recovering from the trauma of infertility and miscarrying. It’s very hard having fertility problems and being pregnant. You often feel like you don’t belong in pregnancy spaces even though you are pregnant. There’s a stronger link between women who have fertility issues and post-natal depression.  Just because you have had a more difficult time ‘getting the baby’ it does not mean that you have to enjoy every single moment of motherhood. Cat found there was a lack of support when she became pregnant after fertility issues. So, she created something called ‘the hangout’ as a safe place for exactly that. A place where women can share worries, anxieties as well as celebrate without worrying about upsetting the TTC community who are still trying so hard to become pregnant.     BEST MOMENTS   ‘It’s something people don’t speak about enough…it’s a massive event, it’s huge and it hurts, it hurts physically and emotionally”   “Slowly but surely I rebuilt myself”   “I loved being pregnant and I made the most of it as much as I could”   “It’s ‘AND’ not OR’. You can love them AND you can be really pi**ed off because they are not sleeping…there are a lot of emotions that come with having a baby it is really bloody hard”     VALUABLE RESOURCES Eggsnsoldiers.com Eco-aware and sustainable baby shop in Dubai. Use ZOECM10 for discount.   ABOUT THE GUEST Cat Strawbridge   IG @tryingyears IG @itscatandalice Podcast Finally Pregnant www.catstrawbridge.com   Cat is a leading advocate of the trying to conceive community after her own experience of infertility. She talks about her journey to motherhood and the birth of her little girl Wren.    ABOUT THE HOST Zoe Cresswell Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness. Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital. Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage. With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth. Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations. Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.   CONTACT DETAILS  Instagram : @zoecresswell_me Facebook: Zoe Cresswell LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-cresswell

Today’s episode is with Zara Dawson “the most unbelievable woman Zoe’s ever spoken to”! Zara talks about her traumatic and frightening fertility journey and opens up about her difficult pregnancies and her unfortunately flawed pre and post-natal care. This is an emotive episode which shows how incredible women can be and Zara’s incredible resilience and strength.   KEY TAKEAWAYS   Zara has family history of endometriosis and fertility problems so always thought she may have some difficulty in becoming a mother, after a year of trying she went to her GP and was referred for IVF. On top of this Zara had multiple medical problems throughout her pregnancy, it was a very complex pregnancy and extremely scary for Zara and her family. OHSS is a very serious condition that isn’t spoken about enough. Many women going through IVF aren’t aware of the risks of OHSS. Despite the multiple problems Zara had to deal with in pregnancy and birth she wasn’t offered any mental health support. She suffered with undiagnosed PND when Jax was born. Zara’s second pregnancy was also complicated, not helped by the reminders everywhere of the issues she suffered with her first born Jax. She felt she just ‘knew’ that things were not going to be ok. Zara’s second baby Jesse was diagnosed with Body Stalk Anomaly, she did not receive the care that she needed or deserved. Because of Zara’s determination and hard work Tommy’s, Arc & Petals are now creating a campaign to break the silence for termination for medical reasons. This is just the start but will help so many women in the future.   BEST MOMENTS   ‘If she doesn’t have this operation I don’t know if she will be here in the morning”   “YAY for that Midwife!”   “I just did not let myself get connected to him”   “It is quite barbaric what has been going on behind the scenes”   VALUABLE RESOURCES  www.petalscharity.org www.tommys.org www.arc-uk.org Eggsnsoldiers.com Eco-aware and sustainable baby shop in Dubai. Use ZOECM10 for discount. ABOUT THE GUEST Zara Dawson Zara is a businesswoman, actress, style-icon and designer. She is a mum to two boys and has been tireless in raising awareness of TFMR after her own experience highlighted the huge pitfalls in cohesive care and support. Instagram: @littlenorfolkcottage      ABOUT THE HOST Zoe Cresswell Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness. Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital. Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage. With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth. Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations. Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.   CONTACT DETAILS Instagram : @zoecresswell_me Facebook: Zoe Cresswell LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-cresswell

In today’s episode Zoe speaks to Amy Campbell. Amy bravely talks about the premature birth of her twin girls, Esme and Charlotte and then the tragic death of Esme at 7 weeks old. Tune in today to listen to an inspiring and thoughtful episode showing Amy’s strength through trauma that is sprinkled with hope and inspiration.   KEY TAKEAWAYS   Amy feared before trying for a baby that she may have difficulties due to her polycystic ovaries and weight but it actually didn’t take her long at all to fall pregnant. Severe pregnancy sickness and a stressful work environment meant that Amy had to take sick leave from work at 16 weeks. Although Amy flagged pain several times it was never looked into further and turns out it was her body telling her that she was going to go into premature labour – at 24 weeks her waters broke. After being admitted to hospital the pregnancy was able to continue but then at 27 weeks both babies were born. Amy spent the first weeks of their life visiting them in NICU, but at 6 weeks things started to go downhill very quickly, Amy and her partner tragically lost their daughter Esme at 7 weeks. Losing Esme sparked Amy’s passion for writing and this is when she started her blog and began helping and inspiring others. 5 months after Esme’s death Amy realised she needed help, she was able to see a bereavement counsellor, she then went on to have psychotherapy both of which helped her deal with Esme’s death and her trauma.   BEST MOMENTS   “The mum guilt even starts before the babies are born”   “It wasn’t my body that was doing something wrong it was that I was listening to wrong advice”   “The word congratulations have never felt so wrong in my entire life”   “It’s incredible what a mothers instinct is like”   “I didn’t want my life to be full of sadness”     VALUABLE RESOURCES  www.petalscharity.org www.tommys.org Eggsnsoldiers.com Eco-aware and sustainable baby shop in Dubai. Use ZOECM10 for discount. ABOUT THE GUEST Amy Campbell   IG @thisismybraveface thisismybraveface.blog      ABOUT THE HOST Zoe Cresswell Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness. Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital. Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage. With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth. Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations. Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.   CONTACT DETAILS Instagram : @zoecresswell_me Facebook: Zoe Cresswell LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-cresswell

The first part of two episodes, Zoe speaks to Leonie about her first journey to becoming a mother. Listen in to this episode for an insight into IVF and what the adoption process can look like. Leonie talks though the highs, the lows and the spreadsheets!   KEY TAKEAWAYS   Leonie has always really wanted children, it was a family joke that she always wanted to be a mummy. Leonie and her partner started trying to get pregnant as soon as they got married, when nothing happened Leonie saw a Dr about it, but not much happened until they moved to Dubai for Leonie’s partners work. They had lots of fertility tests in Dubai but were diagnosed with unexplained fertility so started IVF. Leonie told many people when they were having IVF the first time. The second time round they didn’t tell anyone and found this a lot easier as they didn’t have to talk about it. Fertility clinics need to offer better emotional support as at the moment all they are doing is ‘selling hope’ and then there is no support for when it often doesn’t work. Leonie found IVF so difficult that she couldn’t bear to do another round, her and her partner then looked into adoption. After a complicated and long wait they finally adopted 16 month old Bea from Ethiopia. It was quite an adjustment when they finally had Bea in their arms, but they were thrilled to be a family and she kept surprising them in so many ways!   BEST MOMENTS   “All they’re doing is selling hope, it’s magical in so many ways”   “I didn’t know the slightest thing about them (babies)…I think that’s true for most new mums!”     VALUABLE RESOURCES  www.petalscharity.org www.tommys.org Eggsnsoldiers.com Eco-aware and sustainable baby shop in Dubai. Use ZOECM10 for discount. ABOUT THE GUEST Leonie Pitts Mum of two girls, Bea who was adopted at 16 months and Dottie, her biological daughter.   IG @leonieash Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/ASGDUBAI      ABOUT THE HOST Zoe Cresswell Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness. Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital. Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage. With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth. Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations. Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.   CONTACT DETAILS Instagram : @zoecresswell_me Facebook: Zoe Cresswell LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-cresswell

The second part of two episodes, Zoe speaks to Leonie about when she finally fell pregnant naturally after so many years of trying to conceive. Listen in today to hear about this welcomed but scary surprise and the impact on Leonie’s first Daughter Bea and the rest of her family.   KEY TAKEAWAYS   When Bea was three Leonie surprisingly discovered that she was pregnant! Leonie kept the pregnancy to herself at first, it didn’t feel real. Becoming unexpectedly pregnant is life altering for any woman but considering everything Leonie and her partner had been through it was just unbelievable – it impacted her pregnancy journey a lot, particularly with fear. The pregnancy had complications towards the end and Leonie had to be induced. Leonie says that parenting both Bea and Dottie has felt the same even though her journey to have them as daughters was so different. Leonie’s life hack for any mum is to make some time for yourself- even if it is just half an hour to have a proper shower. It makes all the difference to how you feel. You can be a much better mother if you put yourself first sometimes.     BEST MOMENTS   “She sees us all as mothers”   “She was this magical unicorn at parties as she ended up with this miracle baby”   “It was terrifying, I was constantly waiting for something to go wrong”   “The best thing about hypnobirthing was that I’d learnt a lot and it made me have a discussion weeks before about what I did and didn’t want”   VALUABLE RESOURCES  www.petalscharity.org www.tommys.org Eggsnsoldiers.com Eco-aware and sustainable baby shop in Dubai. Use ZOECM10 for discount. ABOUT THE GUEST Leonie Pitts Mum of two girls, Bea who was adopted at 16 months and Dottie, her biological daughter.   IG @leonieash Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/ASGDUBAI      ABOUT THE HOST Zoe Cresswell Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness. Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital. Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage. With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth. Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations. Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.   CONTACT DETAILS Instagram : @zoecresswell_me Facebook: Zoe Cresswell LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-cresswell

Today Zoe speaks to Sophie and Em, best friends who showed the true meaning of love when Em was a surrogate for Sophie so she could realise her dream of being a mum.   They talk about the journey of getting to surrogacy, the reality of surrogacy and what life has been like after such an incredible, yet surreal, time in their lives.   KEY TAKEAWAYS   Em and Sophie met in secondary school and have been close friends ever since. Sophie and her partner Jack were childhood sweethearts. They managed to get pregnant multiple times but tragically suffered many miscarriages. Em offered to be a surrogate for Sophie and Jack and five years into Sophie and Jacks fertility journey they took them up on this incredible, life changing offer. Sophie didn’t know if it was her body or the embryos that were the reason she had been miscarrying so although Em becoming pregnant via natural IVF was incredible she did not feel a weight lift until the first heartbeat at 7 weeks. Sophie started to have trust in Em’s body. Surrogacy gave them back hope. They all decided that the best way for Leo to be born was via elective C-section for many reasons – the fact it ended up being very different to Em’s previous births was a further benefit. Leo was born in lockdown but luckily Jack and Sophie were still able to be at the birth. It was still an incredibly difficult time to have a baby but Sophie and Jack just focused on Leo. Even now Sophie and Jack can’t believe they have a baby in the house – they pinch themselves that Leo is here!     BEST MOMENTS   “It gave hope that there was another option if we needed it”   “Feel pregnant, just tell me that you feel pregnant!”   “It’s very hard after six years to hide things from people”   “That was just the most magical moment of my whole life”   VALUABLE RESOURCES  www.petalscharity.org www.tommys.org ABOUT THE GUESTS Sophie and Em, best friends from school. Sophie showed the true meaning of love when Em was a surrogate for Sophie.     IG Life.Before.You IG themindfulbirthgroup   www.themindfulbirthgroup.com https://www.gov.uk/legal-rights-when-using-surrogates-and-donors https://surrogacyuk.org      ABOUT THE HOST Zoe Cresswell Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness. Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital. Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage. With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth. Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations. Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.   CONTACT DETAILS Instagram : @zoecresswell_me Facebook: Zoe Cresswell LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-cresswell

Today Zoe speaks to Hayley Bukhamsin infant sleep educator ‘the gentle mama’.   Hayley prides herself on giving scientific facts on infant sleep and development, helping parents tap into their own intuition and giving sleep solutions that are holistic and personal to each family’s needs.   Listen in today for a refreshing take on ‘sleep solutions’ as well as learning snippets on infant development and what made Hayley begin this venture.   KEY TAKEAWAYS   Hayley has two girls and admits herself that pregnancy with both was a challenge. Particularly with SPD (Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction). Hayley and Zoe agree that there is so much pressure on women to ‘get back’ to their former selves after giving birth. But it takes time to recover from pregnancy and birth. You will not be the same person again, you are different and that’s ok. Hayley tried hypnobirthing with her first baby but she didn’t feel that she could get ‘deep’ enough for it to truly work. She found her second birth much easier, she felt she had done ‘everything right’ with hypnobirthing. The oxytocin was flowing and it was a much better experience for her this time round. It was Hayley’s experience of the 8-month sleep progression with her first born that made her want to develop her sleep education. She couldn’t find a sleep consultant that was gentle enough to help with her own baby. Hayley then began researching and learning as much as she could about infant sleep development. She started looking at certification when pregnant with her second baby. When her second baby turned one she started The Gentle Mama. Hayley is an infant sleep educator, she looks at the root cause of sleep behaviours. If it is a ‘normal’ behaviour then she will support parents through this. If it is something that doesn’t seem right then she will look at the root cause rather than just changing the behaviour. Hayley looks at things from a developmental perspective rather than a behavioural perspective. There is no licensing around sleep training, you don’t have to have certification. Something that terrifies both Hayley and Zoe.   BEST MOMENTS   “There is no such thing as bouncing back, you are a different person after you have given birth”   “When a baby is born, a mother is born as well”   “I was schooled by social media and society that you have to push…I was still trying to do the things you see on TV” “They are progressing they are not regressing”   “I think expectation is the biggest culprit in a lot of issues that go wrong”   “Societal pressures are such a huge factor in what is happening to parents nowadays, a lot of struggles mothers are going through are due to societal expectations”     VALUABLE RESOURCES  www.petalscharity.org www.tommys.org ABOUT THE GUEST Hayley Bukhamsin IG @thegentlemama www.thegentlemama.com Facebook: The Gentle Mama  www.brenebrown.com www.pinkymckay.com www.jasminecollin.com Neasa Barry: http://amcdubai.org/      ABOUT THE HOST Zoe Cresswell Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness. Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital. Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage. With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth. Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations. Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.   CONTACT DETAILS Instagram : @zoecresswell_me Facebook: Zoe Cresswell LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-cresswell

Today Zoe speaks to Louise Emma Clarke, journalist, columnist, blogger and author. Listen in today for a varied episode with a great insight into expat life as well as motherhood and Louise’s writing.   KEY TAKEAWAYS   Louise moved to Dubai when her husband moved there for six months and didn’t want to come back! Louise’s first son Stanley was born in Dubai. Being pregnant with him gave her a network and made her really start to enjoy living in Dubai. Louise says that she was very lucky in all her pregnancies and births. She felt more scared in her first pregnancy so found she didn’t do much research but this changed in subsequent pregnancies. Louise’s pregnancies were all quite long and she was induced with all three. Zoe points out that in France they don’t even give a due date they just give a month window, which makes a lot of sense. Louise found the hardest time in her motherhood journey was when she went from one child to two. Her circumstances were hard to deal with and it took her time to change the circumstances and get some help. Nannies are much more common in places like Dubai, one of the reasons being that mothers generally have much less of a support network. Before Louise’s second child was about to start school her and her husband decided after staying with her mum in the summer that it was the right time to come back to the UK. Louise always uses her own life experiences in her writing, especially in her books. She tries to make her characters more real so that the reader will empathise with them and feels like she can write so much more convincingly about things she has experienced herself.   BEST MOMENTS   “After you have your first baby you throw yourself into learning more about how it all works”   “There’s a theory that we all have different gestation times and mine would just go on”   “For a long time I felt displaced and a bit like I had two homes”   “I put myself in the shoes of every character I write to try and make them real”   “I don’t want to go for tea I want to go for wine!”   VALUABLE RESOURCES  www.petalscharity.org www.tommys.org ABOUT THE GUEST Louise Emma Clarke IG @mumofboysandmabel www.mumofboys.co.uk Facebook: Mum of Boys and Mabel Facebook: Bargain Buys for Mums and Dads Louise’s Book    ABOUT THE HOST Zoe Cresswell Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness. Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital. Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage. With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth. Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations. Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.   CONTACT DETAILS Instagram : @zoecresswell_me Facebook: Zoe Cresswell LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-cresswell

Today Zoe speaks to Sofi Chabowski, owner of eco-aware baby shop Eggs and Soldiers.   Sofi talks about her tragic first pregnancy, her other pregnancies including dealing with finding cleft palate in her Son Luca, her amazing business, juggling family life and more. An emotional episode that gives insight into dealing with pregnancy abnormalities and birth defects and the strength of Sofi and her family.     KEY TAKEAWAYS   Sofi used cloth nappies for her eldest child as she had heard that disposable nappies were poor quality in Dubai. The more she read about it the more she discovered and thought about the financial and environmental side. Sofi then decided to sell cloth nappies herself, it was a small business as first with a basic website and she would sell on markets. She ended up doing a pop up shop with a friend, she took over her friend’s business and then kept growing to where the shop is now. At her 20 week scan for her first pregnancy Sofi found out that things might not be ok, they were then told that the baby was incompatible with life due to a heart defect. Her second pregnancy was ok and Kiya was a Christmas baby with no issues but her third baby Luca was found to have a cleft, which meant travel to London again and more specialists. After detailed scans they could not see any other issues apart from the bi-lateral cleft – but it was a very worrying time as nothing could be ruled out completely, particularly regarding genetic abnormalities as a cleft lip can often be a symptom of something else. When Luca was born there were no additional issues to the bi-lateral cleft. It has been quite a journey for Sofi and her family, she had to learn how to feed all over again amongst other things and Luca has had to have three surgeries with more to go. But they have all managed tremendously and Luca is proud of his cleft, it’s part of who he is.   BEST MOMENTS   “You don’t need to buy as much as you think you need to buy”   “As heart-breaking as it was we just knew it was right”   “I’m very open and honest about it as though it was hard and horrible to go through we went through it…we survived”   “Your baby’s your baby, you don’t want them to change”   “If you have a load of baskets you don’t have to tidy up, you don’t have to be a neat person!”     VALUABLE RESOURCES  www.petalscharity.org www.tommys.org www.eggsnsoldiers.com Eco-aware and sustainable baby shop in Dubai. Use ZOECM10 for discount.   ABOUT THE GUEST Sofi Chabowski, found and owner of eggs and soldiers baby shop, based in Dubai and online (www.eggsnsoldiers.com Use ZOECM10 for discount).     ABOUT THE HOST Zoe Cresswell Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness. Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital. Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage. With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth. Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations. Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.   CONTACT DETAILS Instagram : @zoecresswell_me Facebook: Zoe Cresswell LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-cresswell

Today Zoe speaks to Doula extraordinaire Kicki Hansard. She is also an author and is behind the hashtag #butnotmaternity campaign.   They talk about Kicki’s pregnancy and births, her work as a Doula, physiological birth and her work on the campaign behind maternity services in the current pandemic.   KEY TAKEAWAYS   Families, women and babies are suffering because of the strict restrictions still surrounding maternity care in the NHS. Kicki is part of the team behind the #butnotmaternity campaign. The campaign has achieved a lot by putting pressure on every trust in the UK. There was a shocking 20% rise in babies being killed or harmed in the months of the first UK lockdown, this cannot happen again. Kicki found the birth of her children quite easy and straightforward but struggled, like so many mothers, will the newborn phase. The kind of help Kicki wanted was not there. She just needed someone to tell her that how she was feeling was normal. That this transition into motherhood is what many went through and that there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Kicki wished someone had said that babies don’t just cry when they are hurt or sad. Babies cry because that’s how they communicate. It was Kicki’s experience of early motherhood that made her want to become a Doula. A Doula is a person that provides informational, emotional and practical support to parents before, during and after childbirth. There are so many studies showing the importance of a birth partner, having that birth partner be a Doula makes an even bigger difference because of the informative and emotional support they can provide. Birth physiology is such a big secret, Kicki doesn’t understand why it isn’t taught more. It’s the lack of this knowledge that causes so much of the fear around childbirth.     BEST MOMENTS   “I was very much just waking up every day and doing the best I could”   “Is it my expectation of motherhood that’s the problem…yes”   “Unless you feel safe in that environment, you are going to struggle”   “It’s inhumane… it’s completely wrong”   VALUABLE RESOURCES  www.petalscharity.org www.tommys.org www.arc-uk.org www.birthbliss.co.uk www.thedouladirectory.com https://www.change.org/p/partners-allowed-for-entirety-of-labour-birth-in-all-hospitals https://www.amazon.co.uk/Supporting-Survivors-Abuse-Hansard-Kicki/dp/1848194242/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=Kicki+hansard&qid=1604815951&sr=8-1 https://www.amazon.co.uk/Secrets-Birth-every-should-motherhood/dp/1517251192/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=Kicki+hansard&qid=1604815951&sr=8-2   ABOUT THE GUEST Kicki Hansard. Originally from Sweden but has been living in the UK for the past 30 years where she has become a mother, doula and author.   ABOUT THE HOST Zoe Cresswell Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness. Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital. Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage. With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth. Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations. Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.   CONTACT DETAILS Instagram : @zoecresswell_me Facebook: Zoe Cresswell LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-cresswell

Today Zoe speaks to Laura Buckingham and Bex Gunn, they have only met in person once but within a few weeks of finding one another started a movement to offer education and support to the 1 in 4 women who suffer miscarriage. Zoe talks with them about their experiences that brought them together and what made them start their amazing podcast.   KEY TAKEAWAYS Laura and Bex first spoke when Bex wrote a blog post about her miscarriage and Laura contacted her about ‘smashing the stigma’! 1 in 4 women have to deal with the tragedy of miscarriage is why is it so many of us do not know where to go for help, advice or support? Bex had three straightforward pregnancies but her fourth pregnancy was a missed miscarriage. On top of an already horrendous experience for any parents Covid added another level of stress, emotion and heartbreak. Bex found that writing and talking to others about their experiences with miscarriage helped her feel just that little bit better about the situation. Laura has been part of the baby loss community for a number of years after suffering with multiple miscarriages and a molar pregnancy. It was only through her own research and determination that meant she was able to find out what her issues were. She fell pregnant before her treatment started but was able to start once pregnant and finally had her baby Bertie. Laura found that having her rainbow baby meant that she was no longer consumed by miscarriage and fertility which meant she was able to focus and drive to help others. Laura and Bex have moved fast and created various support spaces this year for women including on Facebook, Instagram and their own podcast. Suffering miscarriage and baby loss can make many feel ‘unwomanly’ but since creating these spaces with Laura, Bex has found that she feels the most womanly and the most empowered in her life. In trying to say something that helps, people who have not suffered miscarriage can say something inadvertently hurtful. We all need educating.   BEST MOMENTS “You sound like you’ve got balls!” “I was very naive and I was very laid back about everything” “It’s about raising awareness, it’s maybe about letting women speak about how they coped and using everyone’s experiences rather than just my own” “The worst part is the isolation…Whatever you’re dealing with if you know someone else is dealing with it too it does ease it a little”   VALUABLE RESOURCES www.petalscharity.org www.tommys.org www.arc-uk.org   ABOUT THE GUESTS Laura Buckingham and Bex Gunn, founders and creators of safe spaces for support and education around miscarriage and baby loss. Find them below: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-worst-girl-gang-ever/id1524031149 https://www.facebook.com/pg/theworstgirlgangever/     ABOUT THE HOST Zoe Cresswell Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness. Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital. Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage. With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth. Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations. Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.   CONTACT DETAILS Instagram : @zoecresswell_me Facebook: Zoe Cresswell LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-cresswell

Today Zoe speaks to midwife Sophie Martin. Sophie shares her story of infertility, IVF, and birth.   Infertility and baby loss are never easy but the strength to go through these whilst still being surrounded and caring for mothers and babies as a midwife shows how incredibly self-less, passionate and resilient Sophie is.   KEY TAKEAWAYS   After doing a drama degree and starting a masters Sophie decided she wanted to be a midwife. She completed her masters and got a job as a maternity support worker at the same time which she did for a couple of years before training to be a midwife. After trying for a while to get pregnant Sophie and her husband sought help. When the waiting lists for more investigation into what was happening were awfully long Sophie and her husband went private for a round of IVF. Their first round of IVF was successful and it was with twins, something so magical that Sophie couldn’t believe it was happening to them. Sophie suffered with awful morning sickness, it made her truly sympathise with all the mothers that had told her previously how they were suffering. Sophie struggled mentally through her pregnancy but didn’t feel like she could talk to anyone about it. She felt she was lucky and should be grateful so didn’t feel like she could talk to anyone. At 21 weeks Sophie started bleeding and went to hospital to get checked out. But by day three she started to feel quite unwell and went back to hospital where they found out her cervix had began to open. After a night as an inpatient her waters broke. Sophie knew this was ‘the end’. In a very short amount of time she gave birth to both of her boys. They were both born alive which shocked Sophie but she feels so blessed that they were and that she had that time with them. Sophie and her partner find it really helpful to talk about Cecil and Wilfred. It is extremely hurtful to them if anyone doesn't treat the twins as if they are people. Awareness of how difficult some peoples infertility journeys are is so important. Having awareness of the tragic events that can happen makes us all more compassionate to those around us.   BEST MOMENTS  “I was a woman obsessed with having a baby” “We were happy but we were so cautious and so exhausted by this point because the emotional toll it takes on you is really hard” “When you have been through so much you can only ever think about the worst outcomes” “If we are going to be open about infertility then we have to open about everything”   VALUABLE RESOURCES www.theinfertilemidwife.com www.petalscharity.org www.tommys.org www.arc-uk.org www.sands.org.uk     ABOUT THE GUEST Sophie Martin   Midwife and mother to Cecil and Wilfred, who never made it home.   IG @the.infertile.midwife www.theinfertilemidwife.com www.petalscharity.org www.tommys.org www.arc-uk.org www.sands.org.uk       ABOUT THE HOST Zoe Cresswell Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness. Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital. Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage. With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth. Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations. Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.   CONTACT DETAILS Instagram : @zoecresswell_me Facebook: Zoe Cresswell LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-cresswell

Today Zoe speaks to Charlie Watson, a successful blogger who has only recently shared her fertility prognosis with the world. An episode which talks about Charlie’s journey of discovery with her condition but also her and her partners next big step to create their own unique family; surrogacy.   KEY TAKEAWAYS Charlie was born with the condition MRKH, which means that although she has functioning ovaries her uterus and cervix did not develop properly which means she cannot carry her own children. Charlie is a very successful blogger, her blog and Instagram started off being about running but have now transitioned into being about all of life. Surrogacy is still quite complex in the UK so Charlie and her Partner Tom have decided to do it in the US which has much better legal protection for them as the genetic parents. Charlie and her partner wanted to be really open an honest about their surrogacy journey as it isn’t spoken about enough. Most people only know about surrogacy from celebrities! Now was the perfect time for Charlie to open up about her issues as she feels most of her friends support would have not been quite the same 10, 8 or even 5 years ago as they are all in a different life stage now. She also feels like the more awareness around mental health and the fertility communities on places like Facebook and Instagram have somewhat paved the way for people like herself to talk openly. The rules and regulations around workplaces and IVF need to change, it’s astounding how unsupportive some workplaces can be. Women are given time off around maternity appointments but often not to undertake IVF.   BEST MOMENTS   “It’s really reframed me accepting…I’m so lucky”   “This is ridiculous…the NHS doesn’t help at all and the law protects the birth mother and not the genetic parents”   “It’s been invaluable speaking to women about their experiences”     VALUABLE RESOURCES https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/cook-eat-run/id1500910254 https://www.amazon.com/Cook-Eat-Run-Performance-Ultimate/dp/1787134296   https://www.beautifulyoumrkh.org https://surrogacyuk.org   www.petalscharity.org www.tommys.org www.arc-uk.org www.sands.org.uk     ABOUT THE GUEST Charlie Watson   IG: @therunnerbeans https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/cook-eat-run/id1500910254 https://www.amazon.com/Cook-Eat-Run-Performance-Ultimate/dp/1787134296   https://www.beautifulyoumrkh.org https://surrogacyuk.org       ABOUT THE HOST Zoe Cresswell Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness. Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital. Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage. With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth. Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations. Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.   CONTACT DETAILS Instagram : @zoecresswell_me Facebook: Zoe Cresswell LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-cresswell

Today Zoe speaks to Lala Langtry White, a pregnancy, birth and parenting support specialist. She is passionate about supporting individualised care for every unique journey.   Lala talks to Zoe about her surprise pregnancy with twin boys, the complications involved and their journey to today.     KEY TAKEAWAYS   After moving to Dubai with her husband and first two children Lala found herself unexpectedly pregnant…and with twins! Due to the type of twins Lala was pregnant with she needed specialist monitoring. Her twins had their own amniotic sacks but shared a placenta. At her twelve week scan Lala found out that the twins were in stage 2 of twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome. She was contacted by an incredible in-utero surgeon who offered to take on her case. Lala had in-utero surgery on the twins and initially it looked to be successful but after having a scan later on in the pregnancy there were further complications. At 33 weeks both twins were born via caesarean, they still needed support so Lala was unable to be with her babies for the start of their lives, which she found very difficult. But they were here and even now she feels so incredibly lucky. Lala felt really supported by the many health professionals she dealt with throughout her pregnancy and birth. She said we should approach pregnancy/birth as a circle that surrounds the birthing person, rather than an inverted triangle where we just look up at all the people who ‘know’ more than us. Someone will always seemingly have it better than you, in pregnancy, birth and in life. But we need to focus on what connects us and this is where true support lies.   BEST MOMENTS   “It wasn’t thunderbolts and lightening, it was you hadn’t realised you were holding your breath… and you could suddenly breathe out”   “The NHS were my saving grace”   “The kindness of strangers means so much”   “No one has the intuition that a mum has”   VALUABLE RESOURCES IG: lalalangtrywhitesuppoort www.lalalangtrywhite.com www.TwinsPlusArabia.com www.smallandmightybabies.com   TTTS support - Arabia: https://www.facebook.com/Twin-to-Twin-Transfusion-Syndrome-TTTS-Parents-Arabia-1699149873687130   www.petalscharity.org www.tommys.org www.arc-uk.org www.sands.org.uk     ABOUT THE GUEST Lala Langtry White A pregnancy, birth and parenting support specialist and mum of four.   IG: lalalangtrywhitesuppoort     ABOUT THE HOST Zoe Cresswell Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness. Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital. Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage. With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth. Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations. Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.   CONTACT DETAILS Instagram : @zoecresswell_me Facebook: Zoe Cresswell LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-cresswell

Today Zoe speaks to Molly Forbes, mother, writer, speaker, podcaster and body image campaigner.  She uses her platform to raise awareness and try and bring change around the normality of the diet culture within our society and its effect on our children.   They talk all things body image, as well as parenting, social media and more, a really thought provoking and value affirming episode.   KEY TAKEAWAYS It is intrinsically important to all of us to embrace and normalise our bodies, especially around our children. As a journalist, Molly has many different roles including in radio and as a presenter. After moving to Devon, Molly focused on social media and blogging, she mostly spoke about the realistic motherhood experience and this is where her following started. In doing this she realised she had negative associations about her own body and she was conscious that she didn’t want to raise her girls to feel this way. She spent time researching the topic of body image and then began writing more about body image, mental health and how these topics intercept with motherhood. Becoming body confident is an ongoing process. It is about recognising the messages around us and not allowing them to ‘seep in’. You need to have internal resilience but we also need to change the culture we live in. After coming to terms with all of these messages as an adult Molly turned her attention to how body image and culture impacts children. It’s so important for adults to think about how they react to their own body and the things they say about it around children – they absorb everything. Don’t body shame yourself or other people. Molly now creates workshops and ‘body happy’ spaces for children to be in. And is starting to run masterclasses for parents (you can sign up for the first one below under valuable resources!)   BEST MOMENTS   “Giving an alternative to the glossy, picture perfect version of mother we often see”   “My daughter asked me why I was weighing spinach and I didn’t have an answer for her...if this is what I have to do to make my body look like this then maybe this isn’t what my body is supposed to look like”   “The mainstream narrative is still that thin is best”   “We’ve never had a plus-size princess”   “It’s quite liberating not thinking about your body”   VALUABLE RESOURCES Molly’s IG:@mollyjforbes Molly’s Podcast Body Cons The Body Happy Kids workshops for teachers and youth leaders that Molly runs:  https://www.freefromdiets.org/body-happy-kids-workshop The first Body Happy Kids Masterclass (for parents and any adults who are ever around kids! Happening 30th Jan 2021 - waiting list now open):  https://www.freefromdiets.org/masterclass https://www.freefromdiets.org/shop www.petalscharity.org www.tommys.org www.arc-uk.org www.sands.org.uk (Additional resources from Molly Forbes under 'Additional Resources below)   ABOUT THE GUEST Molly J Forbes Body happy mum. A writer, campaigner and creator of workshops and podcasts. Molly’s IG:@mollyjforbes Molly’s Podcast Body Cons     ABOUT THE HOST Zoe Cresswell Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness. Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital. Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage. With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth. Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations. Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.   CONTACT DETAILS Instagram : @zoecresswell_me Facebook: Zoe Cresswell LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-cresswell   ADDITIONAL VALUABLE RESOURCES Books that are a great introduction to the subject of body image / health / weight stigma and how it intersects with other social justice issues. For Adults: Health At Every Size by Lindo (formerly Linda) Bacon PhD Fearing the Black Body by Sabrina Strings  Train Happy by Tally Rye Big Fit Girl by Louise Green Just Eat It by Laura Thomas PhD Happy Fat by Sofie Hagen  The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf Body Positive Power by Megan Jayne Crabbe Anti Diet by Christy Harrison MPH, RD   Books that are great for kids / teens:  You Are Enough by Harri Rose (for teens and adults)  Celebrate Your Body (and it's changes too!) by Sonya Renee Taylor (a body positive guide for girls aged 8+) Jemima Small Versus the Universe by Tamsin Winter It's Okay to be Different by Todd Parr Her Body Can, by Katie Crenshaw and Ady Meschke Shapesville by Andy Mills and Becky Osborn   Podcasts:  Body Cons (Molly's!) Don't Salt My Game  Food Psych Appearance Matters  Train Happy

Happy New Year! As many of us will be thinking of how to be healthier as we start 2021, today Zoe speaks to Lucy Slimmon, founder of the rainbow running club!   Whilst battling through difficult times in her life, including baby loss, Lucy found that running gave her back a sense of control, joy and purpose. She realised that if running could to this for her then it could help so many other women too.   KEY TAKEAWAYS   Lucy and her husband met when they were quite young, just 19! They bought a house but it was when Lucy turned 30 she wanted to start trying for a baby. Lucy fell pregnant quite quickly but sadly she miscarried at 7 weeks. After dealing with this sad news Lucy and her partner decided to try again but they didn’t fall pregnant. They had many tests and two years after her miscarriage they got a diagnosis of unexplained fertility. Lucy and her partner had counselling together and they found this had an incredible impact on their relationship and made them feel closer to one another. It meant by the time they started IVF they could talk about absolutely anything together. After a difficult start to the IVF and pregnancy at 10 weeks everything ended up being ‘normal’ for Lucy and they had a beautiful daughter born on her due date. After the birth of her daughter Lucy managed to fall pregnant naturally but sadly this ended in a miscarriage. It did make her and her partner realise they wanted another baby so they tried again. She got pregnant again but traumatically she miscarried again, they were heartbroken. Lucy knew she had to keep going for her daughter, no matter how she felt. She was reading the booking 21 Miles and this is what made her start running. It made her feel so happy and she realised if it helped her, it could help other women too. This lead to her setting up a running club for women who had suffered miscarriages and baby loss and the Rainbow Running Club was born. Rainbow Running Club was an overnight success and is a lifeline for so many women. Lucy finds it incredibly uplifting to see everyone running, talking to each other and supporting one another. COVID has meant that they haven’t been able to meet in the traditional way for a lot of this year but this has meant that Lucy has been able to reach even more women via zoom!   BEST MOMENTS   “I just became lost in this desire to have a baby”   “I don’t think I fully allowed myself to believe that I would be coming home with a baby until she was actually here”   “I can’t be the only person that has gone through all of these experiences and I can’t be the only person who would benefit from running”   “It’s really uplifting seeing everyone talk to each other and supporting each other”   VALUABLE RESOURCES Rainbow Running Club 21 Miles: Swimming in Search of the Meaning of Motherhood Book Stop Pleasing Start Living Book   www.petalscharity.org www.tommys.org www.arc-uk.org www.sands.org.uk     ABOUT THE GUEST Lucy Slimmon @_mother_of_one_ @rainbowrunningclub @rainbowyogaclub     ABOUT THE HOST Zoe Cresswell Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness. Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital. Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage. With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth. Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations. Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.   CONTACT DETAILS Instagram : @zoecresswell_me Facebook: Zoe Cresswell LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-cresswell

Today Zoe speaks to Becky Kearns, also known as the defining mum! Becky shares her journey into parenthood which resulted in using donor eggs to conceive her three beautiful girls. Zoe learnt so much from listening to Becky and found her story fascinating. Listen in today for an emotional and insightful episode.     KEY TAKEAWAYS   Becky met her husband after being in a long-term relationship, they were introduced by friends and hit it off straight away. They both knew what they wanted from life which meant things moved quite quickly and after a little of two years they started trying for a baby. As Becky came off contraception to conceive she started to realise that her cycles didn’t seem normal. After seeing the GP three times the Drs ran some tests, expecting nothing to be wrong as Becky was only 27. It turned out that Becky’s FSH was a lot higher than normal, after seeing a private specialist for some answers she was told it was likely that she was experiencing premature ovarian failure and that her egg reserve reflected someone who was in their late 40s. Becky started IVF quickly and fell pregnant on the first round. She started having some abdominal pains so went for a scan but devastatingly she found out it was likely that she had miscarried. A week later the sad news was confirmed. After four failures Becky and her husband asked for some hard statistics from the specialists, it was being told that using Becky’s eggs would only give them a 5% chance of having a baby that started to lead them down the path of donor eggs. Becky began to shift her mindset, this is how defining mum was born. Rather than focusing on what she would ‘lose’ in terms of a genetic connection she instead focused on what she would still gain. After another failed cycle with Becky’s eggs, they found a clinic in the Czech Republic and were matched with a donor quite quickly which led onto a successful pregnancy and a second twin pregnancy further down the line, they now have three beautiful daughters. If Becky’s girls want to try and find their donor when they are older, Becky and her husband will support them completely and be honest and help them with all that they can. Becky and her husband recognise there is a lot of complexity around this kind of journey to motherhood and how you talk to the children as a result. All their children are under 4 and already know in a child friendly way that their ‘mummy’s eggs were broken’. As they get older they will give them more information and detail. Now having the girls, Becky sees more and more every day how much she is passing on to them, genetics is such a small part. If she’d known this more before, she feels it would have made her decision much easier, which is why she endeavours to share as much as she can with the world via definingmum.com It’s so important that we talk about people who have gone through infertility and that at the end of the day they are just a normal family. Things are going to be hard sometimes, you aren’t meant to enjoy all of parenting. It’s ok to be tired and frustrated sometimes, we are all human.       BEST MOMENTS   “That was a huge moment in my life, at the time I don’t think I realised how big it was”   “It’s like you’re in limbo”   “It’s being a parent though isn’t it, you make the right decision at the time with what you’ve got…You did the right thing at that time and that’s all you can do”   “We talk about it in a positive way and I don’t want them to feel any shame around it in any way, I want them to be able to talk about it with pride”   “I would be a lot kinder to myself, recognising how big a deal it was. I would also have accessed some more specific counselling”   “It’s an absolutely beautiful story, thank you for sharing it”   “As a mum, you always think you can’t do it but you kinda just do!”       VALUABLE RESOURCES www.definingmum.com   https://www.amazon.co.uk/Happy-Together-Science-Positive-Psychology/dp/0143130595/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=happy+together&qid=1609229452&s=books&sr=1-1   www.petalscharity.org www.tommys.org www.arc-uk.org www.sands.org.uk     ABOUT THE GUEST Becky Kearns IG: @definingmum @paths_to_parenthub     ABOUT THE HOST Zoe Cresswell Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness. Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital. Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage. With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth. Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations. Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.   CONTACT DETAILS Instagram : @zoecresswell_me Facebook: Zoe Cresswell LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-cresswell

Today Zoe speaks to Charlie Barker, mother, entrepreneur and founder of bumps and burpees post-natal fitness company.   Charlie talks to Zoe about starting and running her own business, writing and getting a book published in a year (whilst pregnant and in a pandemic!) and life after having a baby. They also talk in depth about Charlie’s three tragic miscarriages before the birth of her beautiful child Archie.     KEY TAKEAWAYS   Charlie met her husband George at university and they have now been together for 12 years. Charlie trained to be a personal trainer but after a postnatal PT at her gym left she took on some of her clients and got many referrals. It was this that made her decide to do more training and become more specialised to be a pre and post-natal PT. She found that a lot of the time the ‘barriers’ these women faced was very different to other clients, in the fact that getting childcare could often be a struggle. It was this that made her incorporate babies into her clients training. She would start going to their houses and help facilitate her clients training by helping look after the babies, including changing nappies! Once her diary became full she then began training and recruiting other PTs and this is how the business grew. She would almost ‘match-make’ clients to PT’s to give them the best experience. Charlie got pregnant the first month they started trying, they were over the moon. Sadly, she started having some bleeding very early on and started miscarrying. They fell pregnant again very quickly, and told their families. They went for a private scan and the sonographer wasn’t sure they could see a heartbeat. She asked them to come back two weeks later. When she went back they had the tragic news that the baby hadn’t carried on developing and it was a missed miscarriage. As a society, we need to talk more about the physical side of miscarriage. We have started to become better at talking about the emotional side but it would be so helpful for so many women if we talked about what physically happened when we go through a miscarriage. Only after Charlie felt better in herself did her Husband George feel like he could then grieve and be honest about how he was feeling about the miscarriage. Devastatingly, her third pregnancy ended in a miscarriage too, whilst she was speaking at a baby show of all places. As Charlie had now had three miscarriages she had hit the NHS threshold for investigation and tests. But, all her tests came back fine and she was told it was ‘bad luck’ and to just keep trying. Charlie didn’t accept this and arranged to see a specialist but whilst waiting to see him she got pregnant! He did some tests and found out that her immune system was almost ‘fighting’ her pregnancies. She was put on steroids and some other drugs until she was 14 weeks pregnant and incredibly Charlie gave birth to Albie at 41 weeks!   BEST MOMENTS   “The stars aligned for you”   “I was removing that baby from them, letting them train and be themselves and do what they love and doing everything I possibly could to keep that baby to keep them training”   “It taught me some good multitasking tips”   “Often the lows aren’t spoken about”   “I had a gut feeling that if I didn’t take control this would keep happening”   “It was the first time we saw a heartbeat…I was in love”   “You have to live hour by hour and the baby is boss!”    "As a new mum I only drink cold tea now!"   VALUABLE RESOURCES   Charlie's Book - Bumps & Burpees   www.petalscharity.org www.tommys.org www.arc-uk.org www.sands.org.uk     ABOUT THE GUEST Charlie Barker   IG @charlielaunder IG @bumpsandburpees IG @clarebournephysio   Charlie's Book - Bumps & Burpees     ABOUT THE HOST Zoe Cresswell Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness. Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital. Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage. With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth. Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations. Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.   CONTACT DETAILS Instagram : @zoecresswell_me Facebook: Zoe Cresswell LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-cresswell

Today Zoe speaks to specialist midwife Tessa Van Der Vord, also known as ‘The Mental Health Midwife’. Tessa opens up about suffering with severe anxiety when pregnant with her son, as those who work in mental health are not immune to experiencing their own difficulties.   KEY TAKEAWAYS Tessa wasn’t too sure on what she wanted to do when she ‘grew up’ and became a midwife almost by fluke! She had a friend whose mum was a midwife and it was listening to her stories that inspired her to go into midwifery. Tessa is a specialist midwife in mental health. Which means she has experience of working with different disciplines, teams and supports women with a history of or with current mental health needs. Because Tessa has been surrounded by friends and family that have had issues with fertility and pregnancy she always had a worry that she would too have problems. Tessa became pregnant just after she got married, she found out very early in the pregnancy but at her 7 week scan was told to ‘prepare for the worst’. Tessa knew logically the pregnancy was early so she shouldn’t have ‘got her hopes up’ but what mother doesn’t think, plan and dream about their baby when they find out they are pregnant? After a week wait she found out that the embryo was fine and doing brilliantly. She felt great at first but then the anxiety started to creep back in. At 9 weeks Tessa had a bleed, the embryo was ok but she kept having bleeds and all of these things kept adding layers and layers to her anxiety. Often when we suffer from mental health issues, especially for the first time, it’s hard to know when and if you need help and support. Being a midwife, Tessa convinced herself that all the things she had seen and dealt with would happen to her. She had so much anxiety around all aspects of pregnancy and birth. It also affected her being able to bond with her baby at the start. If any of Tessa’s friends listen to this episode she says they would be surprised to hear how severe her anxiety was. In the future if Tessa suffers again she has vowed to be more open and transparent about how she is feeling with others. Tessa’s top mum hack for others is to accept any kind of help you can in the early weeks, create strong relationships with other mothers and be kind. BEST MOMENTS   “Many of her closest friends still do not know the extent of what she went through”   “Wow those hands have delivered babies, what an amazing thing to do”   “As a midwife, you know about all these things that can happen and I just wanted to check”   “Doing all the things I tell women not to do, going on google, to find things”   “I was in awe of my body”   “It takes a village to raise a mother to raise a child”   VALUABLE RESOURCES     www.petalscharity.org www.tommys.org www.arc-uk.org www.sands.org.uk     ABOUT THE GUEST   Tessa Van Der Vord @mentalhealth_midwife     ABOUT THE HOST Zoe Cresswell Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness. Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital. Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage. With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth. Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations. Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.   CONTACT DETAILS Instagram : @zoecresswell_me Facebook: Zoe Cresswell LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-cresswell

Today Zoe speaks to Claire Falconer a health and fitness coach, personal trainer, yoga teacher and life-long wanderluster! Claire and her husband have been spending the past year travelling around Australia in a van and now that Claire is pregnant she talks about how her travelling experiences have prepared her for being a mother.   KEY TAKEAWAYS Claire moved to Dubai from Australia 10 years ago with 1500AUD and started up her business from the ground up. She met her husband Luke in Dubai and after some time they decided to move to Australia and pursue their dream of exploring living in a van. Claire and Luke have been trying to start a family since they got married. Claire had quite a lot of knowledge around getting her body ready for pregnancy by advice she had given previous clients, her health and fitness knowledge and by visiting the dr. before she started trying to conceive. After only three months Claire became pregnant, they told family immediately as didn’t even think that everything wouldn’t go to plan. Sadly, this was the first of two miscarriages. The miscarriage was so much more physically traumatising than Claire expected. On top of this, Claire had some retained pregnancy tissue so had to have medical invention. Claire was very grateful for the support she was given around her miscarriages and says she has a new-found respect for any woman who has gone through this trauma. We are better at talking about miscarriage in society than we once were but we often still do not talk about what specifically happens to a woman physically. One of the most confusing things for Claire to deal with around her miscarriages was the sense that her body had betrayed her. She did all of the right things and had so much knowledge of her body but she didn’t feel like it did what it was supposed to, what she wanted it to do. After suffering her second miscarriage. Luke and Claire began their van life adventure. Being with nature and living a minimalist life was really healing for them both. When they were ready, Claire and Luke wanted investigation into the miscarriages, but the threshold for help was 3 miscarriages. Claire wouldn’t accept this and managed to find someone to help her get into the system to get tests and she started to get help and support. Wonderfully, Claire fell pregnant for a third time and is now 26 weeks pregnant. After some complications at the start, at the 20 week scan Claire was downgraded to a normal, low risk pregnancy. They now feel more relaxed and excited for the arrival of their baby. Raising a baby in a van will certainly have its challenges but Claire is quietly confident of being able to extend her and her husbands minimalist lifestyle to parenthood.     BEST MOMENTS   “1 in 4 does not discriminate”   “You just get that sinking feeling; your heart skips a beat”   “It was the most horrendous thing to go through”   “At the time I think I thought I was emotionally ready, but in hindsight I wasn’t”   “We can’t control every at the moment so let’s just chill”   “Each time it’s holding your breath for the next scan”   “There are many countries around the world that don’t use prams”   VALUABLE RESOURCES IG @clairefalconer__ @vanlifestraya @coachedbyclaire   www.petalscharity.org www.tommys.org www.arc-uk.org www.sands.org.uk     ABOUT THE GUEST Claire Falconer   IG @clairefalconer__ @vanlifestraya @coachedbyclaire     ABOUT THE HOST Zoe Cresswell Devoted mother of two (and a big hairy dog), UK trained midwife, doula and personal trainer, specialising in pre and postnatal fitness. Zoe was born in the UK and before moving to Dubai in 2013 and worked as a midwife in central London, both in a birth centre and a very busy NHS hospital. Although late to the scene, Zoe is an aspiring athlete having won numerous triathlons and representing Great Britain where she placed within the top 10 on the world stage. With her husband James, the couple will soon be launching their cloth nappy company, Bop & Bee, where they hope to inspire families to swap a few disposable nappies a day for the more planet friendly option of cloth. Zoe’s goal is to share her knowledge and experience, tell real life stories, manage expectations and open up those often difficult conversations. Zoe’s own motherhood journey has been full of twists and turns as she put everything on hold and went through numerous miscarriages and rounds of IVF.   CONTACT DETAILS Instagram : @zoecresswell_me Facebook: Zoe Cresswell LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/zoe-cresswell