THE STAGES

Spades is a college graduate, Garvey is making art and melting hearts, and The H is in full teenage mode raging against the machine (a.k.a. showers). This episode, however, is about us. The pressures we face as fathers now and the pressures we faced early on in our parenthood journeys. It is said that pressure creates diamonds, and while that's scientifically factual, it can also create distress - mental, emotional and physical - when that pressure becomes overwhelming. We sit in the middle of Mental Health Awareness Month, and the tough reflections in this episode are an important reminder to continue to take care of yourself as much as you take care of those around you. Access your network. Find healthy outlets. Research resources that will help keep your mind, heart and spirit healthy. This podcast is one of ours. NOTE: This episode delves into mental, physical and emotional health along with topic of suicide. There are a wealth of resources available for those facing thoughts of suicide, some of which we've listed below. https://nami.org/home https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ https://www.georgetownbehavioral.com/node/2529 https://www.vibrant.org/supporting-black-mental-health/

The brutal murder of George Floyd moved a nation in depressive denial of its racist soul. It moved those beyond our borders who could relate to the abject inhumanity we witnessed in that act. It also moved your hosts of The Stages in significant ways… to tears, to rage, to action, to education, to reflection, to protection and to conversation. This ‘Time Capsule’ episode was our first live dialogue about the murder of George Floyd, five days after his life was taken. We’ve held it for almost a year, which is how long it took for the legal pursuit of justice to begin. (Recorded May 30, 2020)

Christopher Nolan’s original films all have a beautiful perspective on time and specifically communication as related to the construct of time. He’s found a fascinating way to explore the subject of time travel that we’re all obsessed with in one way or another. In this episode, we time travel back to ourselves at our son’s current ages to deliver some advice to 13- and 23-year-old Kamau² and Adrian. Young Garvey is a special guest on this episode doing exactly what he should be doing at two years old… loving life, disrupting the status quo, and making the Good Trouble we know he always will.  (Recorded November 2020)

The value and comfort of community have reached new heights in the Black American psyche with the dueling pandemics (COVID and White Nationalism/Racism) we faced in 2020. A reflection on this was the lead-in to our reflection on safe havens in the Black community, and specifically The Barbershop which has often been referred to as the "Black Man's Country Club." O'Shea Jackson' Sr. (a.k.a. Ice Cube) has celebrated the Barbershop and its role in the black community, our lines and our son's lives. This inspired Kamau² and Adrian to ponder why Cube did not leverage that sacred space in the community before leaning into dialogue with a Presidential cabinet who does not have this community's best interest at heart. (Recorded November 2020)

On the immediate heels of a transcendent psychedelic experience shared by KzA and Kamau Ware, the two connect with Adrian to discuss the mindlessly destructive events at the Capitol Building on January 6th. These TIME CAPSULE episodes of THE STAGES are meant to capture our thoughts, reactions and related fatherhood impacts of major life events that happen in our worlds or society and culture at large. DISCLAIMER: The are some audio issues in this episode as we experimented with a new recording platform, so big shouts to Ali (our producer) for pulling this together and making this important episode a quality one for you all. 

There are so many influences that effect the way that parents parent - from the way we are raised to the real and fictional families we observe growing up. There is no greater influence, however, than our own familial situations and in this episode Kamau² and Adrian discuss the role their fathers played in their lives, how their Fathers influence their journeys through fatherhood, what Father's Day means in the Black community and what Father's Day has meant to them since stepping into that all-important role. (Recorded June 2020)

The psychology of nesting --> obsessing about the home environment we create for our children --> is normally related to the child bearer, the mother bird. That pursuit of the perfect home, nursery and kids room that gives comfort to the process of welcoming a child into the world. However, nesting is an instinct for fathers as well  - one that is tied more so to how we think about home after our children have arrived, and throughout their growth. This episode of THE STAGES explores how Kamau² and Adrian observe their nesting instincts in their different stages of fatherhood, along with the power of place as Adrian settles back into his home state and new property.

Every parent - for every moment of parenthood - has their own set of hopes and fears for their children. It is innate and inherent in our role as parents. Those hopes and fears are heightened exponentially when you know where the monsters are and what the monsters look like. As Black women, Black men, Black boys and girls lives have been taken mindlessly and senselessly, Kamau² and Adrian discuss the state of the world, the state of racism, the state of assault on "other" and how that all impacts the way they father, the way they dream and the way they protect their sons.

In this introductory episode, you’ll meet your hosts Kamau Ware, Adrian Franks and Kamau Z. Akabueze (KzA) and you’ll also learn a bit about the story that led to this series. The show is called The Stages, because Kamau ² and Adrian are the same age, but have sons at vastly different ages - 2, 13 and 22. They are also all at very different stages in their relationships, mental and physical health journeys, and in their careers. These rarely public discussions between Black fathers should be more of the norm in our society and we hope that our show encourages more on this kind of discourse in your lives and amongst the people you can learn from and grow with.