Flying Free

In this episode, I walk you through five crucial differences between a healthy Christian marriage and an emotionally abusive one.🔑 Key Takeaways:Healthy marriages = clarity, respect, and growthAbusive marriages = confusion, control, and punishmentIf you're constantly walking on eggshells, it's not normal. God never asked you to sacrifice your soul on the altar of someone else's entitlement.Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Check out the first two parts of this eight-part series: “The 10 Most Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse in a Christian Marriage” and “The Art of Saying No: Setting Boundaries When You've Been Trained to Say Yes.” 

In this end-of-the-year BONUS episode, I want to share one of my recent PRIVATE podcast episodes exclusively for members of the Flying Free Kaleidoscope only.  I also made an 8-minute video tour of the Flying Free Kaleidoscope on my phone. It will show you what the INSIDE of the Kaleidoscope looks like here at the end of 2025 and going into 2026. You can watch that on YouTube HERE. The price is going up on January 1, 2026, and I'd love to see you get in on the lower price if you can. Prices never go up for current members, so lock yourself in on the price we've had for five years while you've got the chance because it will never be this low again. (Currently $29/month or $290 for an entire year - but going up to $39/mo or $390/year starting January 1.)Learn more and complete your application HERE. 

Have you ever been told that saying "no" makes you selfish? That good Christian women never rock the boat, always serve with a smile, and definitely do not have thoughts of their own?This episode is Part 2 of our Emotional Abuse 101 series, and today we’re diving into the art of saying no.If the idea of saying no makes your stomach flip or sends you into a guilt spiral, this episode is your lifeline. I’ll walk you through WHY it’s so hard to say no and HOW to start saying it anyway with confidence and without apology.Key Takeaways:Saying no without guilt is an adult skill, not a rebellious sin. People-pleasing is often a trauma response. Your nervous system isn’t broken. It’s just been doing its job a little too well.You don’t need permission to have boundaries. You’re not waiting for anyone’s approval. Boundaries ≠ controlling others. Boundaries = choosing how YOU respond when others misbehave.There’s neuroscience behind this. Your brain can be rewired to feel safe even when saying no. Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereGet a FREE chapter of Is It ME? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, along with the companion workbook for that chapter, by going to flyingfreenow.com. I'll also send you the Freedom Letters. (Also free. 😉 )Related Resources:Check out Part One of this eight part series: “The 10 Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse in a Christian Marriage.”

Welcome to part one of a brand-new series I’m calling “Emotional Abuse 101: Everything You Need to Know,” because, let’s face it, the church didn’t exactly hand out “How to Spot a Narcissist in Your Youth Group” pamphlets in Sunday school.In this episode, I’m diving into the 10 most subtle signs of emotional abuse, the kind of signs that don’t leave bruises on your body but do leave bruises on your soul. These are the red flags that fly under the radar, the ones that make you ask “Am I too sensitive?” or “Maybe I am the problem?”Here are some things we’ll cover in this episode:The Silent Treatment Special — Why emotional withholding isn't just immature behavior, and the real reason he's using it against youMr. Jekyll and Pastor Hyde — What happens when everyone else thinks he's amazing, but you're living with someone completely different at homeStrategic Emotional Sabotage — The shocking pattern behind why your birthdays, holidays, and girls' nights keep getting ruined Weaponized Vulnerability — How opening your heart becomes ammunition in his hands, and why you're not crazy for feeling betrayedDream Crusher Lite™ — The subtle way he makes pursuing your goals absolutely miserable without ever saying "no" outrightPlausible Deniability — Why you're always "too sensitive" or "making assumptions," and how this phrase is actually a manipulation tacticRead the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereTake a FREE emotional abuse quiz by going to emotionalabusequiz.com. Find out if what you're experiencing is normal Christian marriage stuff...or abuse.  Related Resources:Was this episode helpful? You may find these two Flying Free episodes equally worthwhile: “Does an Abuser Know They Are Abusive?” and “Nine Tricks Emotional Abuser Use to Pull Us Back Into the Cycle (and six clever ways to respond!)”

In this episode, I get down and dirty with a topic that triggers all the rule-followers and religious gatekeepers: salvation. Not the flannelgraph-Jesus kind where you prayed the “magic words” at age seven and then spent the next 30 years terrified you did it wrong. Nope. I’m talking about real, liberating, soul-exploding salvation.This one’s especially for you if you’ve ever stayed in an abusive marriage because you thought God would be mad if you left. If you’re exhausted from trying to please “godly” authority figures who think they are mini Popes. If you’ve prayed the salvation prayer 73 times just to be sure it “took.”Key Takeaways:Belief isn’t a checklist. It’s not about doing the right things, following the right leaders, or avoiding the wrong music. It’s about trusting that Christ already did it all.The gift of salvation is already yours. Yes, even if you cuss, leave your abuser, or buy non-organic lettuce.Many Christians are still hoping for a salvation that is already theirs. Why? Because we’ve been taught to fear God more than we trust Him. The verse “God hates divorce” has been weaponized. (Psst…it doesn’t say what you think it does, anyway. Listen to find out what the Bible actually says in Malachi.)You can experience the joy of salvation the moment you believe it’s real. Like full-body joy. (Really!)Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereListen to my book, All the Scary Little Gods, FREE by going to scarylittlegods.com.Related Resources:If this episode was helpful for you, you’ll love these two episodes, too: “Two Hotel Rooms: One Rescue Mission” and “Praying for a Miracle — When the Miracle Might Be You Walking Away.”

Ever wonder why you keep getting stuck in the same soul-sucking relational merry-go-round and can’t get off? Why you feel like you're starring in a never-ending soap opera you didn’t audition for, but somehow you’re the villain for wanting out?I sat down with Gwendoline, a longtime member of Flying Free and Flying Higher, to talk about her epic butterfly transformation. We're talking cycles of chaos, religious gaslighting, and the sneaky little acronym that kept her trapped in marital misery: FOG (fear, obligation, guilt).Key Takeaways:If it feels off, it probably is – Chaos, fights, and emotional whiplash aren’t just "normal marriage stuff." They're red flags.Your body knows before your brain does – Tight hips, tension, and dread? Not random. That’s trauma.Love isn’t a magical fix-all – You can love someone and still need to leave them. Track the truth – Emoji mood calendars and journaling helped Gwendoline see the pattern she was gaslit into ignoring.You are the rescuer – No knight in shining armor is coming. Just you, your big-girl panties, and God on a divine co-rescue mission.Leaving is hard, but worth it – Healing takes time, but the moment you step out, your real life begins.Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereGet a FREE chapter of Is It ME? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, along with the companion workbook for that chapter, by going to flyingfreenow.com. I'll also send you the Freedom Letters. (Also free. 😉 )Related Resources:Want to listen to more survivor stories? Check out “Military Marriage Abuse: Elizabeth’s Story” and “Out of the Poisoned Pond: Jennie’s Story.”

It’s time to talk about the two kinds of people in this world: the seekers and the stuck.In this episode, I dive deep into the real reasons why some lives transform after abuse while others continue to feel stuck.We’re unpacking:Why healing is not about labeling your abuser a narcissist and calling it a day How to know when you’re ready to move from survivor to thriver.What your philosophy of life has to do with your emotional garden.Why reading one more Instagram post about toxic people isn’t going to transform your life.And how your anger might just be the spark that gets you out of the cage.Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Listen to my book, All the Scary Little Gods, for FREE!Liked this episode? Then check out these two other Flying Free episodes, “An Emotional Recovery Tool That Changes Everything” and “How Pretending and Fear Keep You Stuck in Abuse Cycles.”

What if the very place you went for safety, love, and divine wisdom turned out to be the scene of the crime? Today we’re diving headfirst into the world of spiritual abuse. This week, I’m joined by Katherine Spearing, founder of Tears of Eden, trauma recovery practitioner, and author of a new book, A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts. If you’ve ever been told that “God doesn’t want your happiness, He wants your holiness” while you were slowly disintegrating inside, well, friend, you’re in for a ride. Buckle up, because we’re talking:Why spiritual abuse is often so subtle you won’t realize you’re bleeding out until you’re halfway through a panic attackHow high-control religious environments get you to abuse yourself (sick, right?)The toxic theology that turns God into a cranky toddler with a lightning boltKey Takeaways:Spiritual abuse is real, complex, and often normalized. Just because it’s subtle doesn’t mean it’s not wrecking your soul.You’re not wrong for wanting peace, freedom, and autonomy. That’s not “selfish.” That’s survival.Religious trauma isn’t just in your head. It’s in your nervous system, and it needs gentle care to heal.You get to get your mail from God. Not from your pastor, your husband, or some elder board in polyester pants.Patriarchy is the backbone of most spiritual abuse. If your theology only benefits dudes, it’s not the gospel, it’s a con.There’s a whole beach of freedom outside that toxic church sandbox. And God’s not mad you left.Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Grab a copy of Katherine’s book, A Thousand Tiny Paper CutsConnect with Katherine on InstagramHop on Katherine’s mailing list and get some free resources while you’re on her site. Katherine Spearing MA, CTRC is the founder of Tears of Eden, a nonprofit supporting survivors of spiritual abuse, and the former executive producer and host of the groundbreaking podcast Uncertain, a podcast that pioneered pivotal conversations around spiritual abuse. She also is a Certified Trauma Recovery Practitioner working primarily with clients who have survived cults, high-control environments, spiritual abuse, and sexual abuse. Katherine is a huge advocate for the power of art to help us on our healing journey. She participates in improv theater both as a performer and coach and is the author of one novel. A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts, her new book on spiritual abuse, addresses the survivor’s recovery journey. She has been a guest on a number of podcasts, including IndoctriNation and A Little Bit Culty, is the author of several nonfiction articles, and writes regularly at katherinespearing.com and tearsofeden.org.

Has your inbox turned into a dumpster fire of accusatory texts from your abuser?In this episode, I hand you a step-by-step strategy to shut down the inner emotional chaos without getting dragged into the mud pit with him. It's not just about survival. It's about winning (for YOU!)What We Cover in This Episode: What to do when your abuser won’t stop texting lies, and the courts won’t let you block himHow to stop reacting and start playing offense with your own sanity-protecting strategyWhy your emotional reaction is his favorite snack (and how to starve that monster)The magic of radical acceptance. No, he’s not going to wake up one day and be Prince CharmingWhy sarcasm is satisfying but not strategic (sorry, my fellow sass queens)A game-plan that builds a rock-solid paper trail, perfect for court receipts and your peace of mindHow to rewire your nervous system before you even read his garbage textsRead the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Check out Aimee Says for help wading through the word salad your abuser is throwing at you. Listen to some other Flying Free episodes, including “Winning Child Custody & Divorce Battles” and “How to Respond to Emotional Abuse Tactics.” 

“He doesn’t hit you, so it must not be abuse.” Yeah, no. That tired old line needs to die.This week, I sat down with Dr. Christine Cocchiola, a powerhouse expert on coercive control, the kind of abuse that doesn’t leave bruises but instead, destroys lives. Christine breaks down how abusers don't need fists to dominate; they weaponize EVERYTHING from the court system, to churches, to your very own kids.If you’ve ever been dismissed, disbelieved, or labeled “too angry,” this episode is a masterclass in seeing the invisible, calling it what it is, and taking your power back, even if you have to fake it ‘til you make it from the ICU of your life.What You’ll Learn: Why coercive control isn’t a form of abuse, it IS abuse. Period. Full stop.How abusers hide behind charisma, charm, and a well-timed Bible verse.The horrifying way the legal system often rewards abusers and punishes protective moms.How abuse affects children, even when it’s subtle, and especially when it’s court-sanctioned.Why your anger is holy fire, not a character defect.How to start healing and parenting differently, even while walking through hell with a diaper bag.Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Check out Dr. Christine Cocchiola’s website.Connect with her on Instagram and Facebook.  Read FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld, Dr. Cocchiola’s co-authored book. Get her free map called Clinical Implications for Children Who Are Coercively ControlledWatch her recent TED Talk: It’s All Coercive ControlChristine M. Cocchiola, DSW, LCSW is an expert on the experiences of adult and child victims of coercive control. A college professor teaching social work, she received her doctorate in clinical social work from New York University working under the tutelage of Dr. Evan Stark. She presents nationally and internationally on the concept of coercive control with a focus on educating professionals, advocates, and protective parents, on the experiences of children and best intervention strategies for adult and child victims of coercive control/narcissistic abuse. Her Clinician Certification Training is ASWB approved for 14 CE’s. Dr. C is the creator of The Protective Parenting Program, a therapeutic evidence based attachment focused program for parents of children harmed by abusers and the co-author of FRAMED: Women in the Family Court Underworld.

Have you ever felt like life has you wearing a 200-pound emotional backpack labeled “Christian womanhood”? In this episode, I unpack (literally) the toxic beliefs that are holding us back using a metaphorical story about a woman who wants to run, but can’t. Because, surprise! She's lugging around spiritual abuse disguised as Bible truths.You’ll meet Sarah, a fictional but oh-so-familiar woman who stands at the edge of a running trail, paralyzed by invisible weights. Enter Elena, the wise older woman who helps her go full Marie Kondo on her belief system. You’ll want to tattoo some of Elena’s one-liners on your forearm. (Okay maybe just put them on sticky notes.)Key Takeaways:Toxic beliefs often come wrapped in spiritual language. Just because it came from a pulpit or your well-meaning Aunt Kathy doesn’t make it true or helpful.You’re allowed to question what you’ve been taught. Especially if what you’ve been taught keeps you silent, stuck, or scared.Jesus didn’t ask you to carry a crushing load. He said His yoke is easy. Your religious trauma backpack is not that.Replacing lies with truth doesn’t mean you’re sinning. It means you’re healing.Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Here are some other related Flying Free Podcast episodes: “12 Life-Changing Beliefs That Will Unhook You From Abuse” and “The Beliefs that Keep Christian Women Stuck in Abusive Marriages.” 

What if that golden cage you're sitting in was never locked? What if all that “God’s will” rhetoric was just fear cosplaying as holiness? In this episode, I tell you a story, a simple one with birds, bars, and just enough metaphorical mic drops to wake up the part of you that’s been sedated by religious gaslighting. Buckle up, buttercup. It’s time to talk about freedom.This isn’t just another chirpy motivational talk. It’s a truth-telling, cage-rattling invitation to examine the lies we’ve been fed about safety, love, and obedience, especially in the name of God. You were made to fly, not decorate someone else’s spiritual furniture.Key Takeaways:The cage was never locked. You've been conditioned to think you're choosing it, but that choice was built on fear, not freedom.That “protection” they sold you? It's control in disguise. And the house full of golden cages? It’s not a sanctuary. It's a system designed to keep you small, scared, and obedient.Even your longing has been demonized. Longing is labeled sin. Discontent? A character flaw. But maybe it’s your soul whispering, “There’s more.”Freedom is risky, but it’s real. There are storms and hawks and hard days out there. But there’s also wind, sky, stars, and the exhilaration of living unchained.Jesus doesn’t lock cages. He flings those suckers open and says, “Come on out, sister. It’s time.”Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:If today’s episode resonated with you, here are some others you may find helpful: “From Trapped to Free in 30 Days” and “Praying for a Miracle—When the Miracle Might Be You Walking Away.”

In this episode, we're taking a look at the classic emotional abuse push-pull cycle that makes us feel like we’re starring in a soap opera we never auditioned for. This one's for the Christian woman who’s been there, twisting herself into a holy pretzel trying to keep the peace, hold the family together, and love like Jesus while getting emotionally sucker-punched by someone who claims to love her. What We Cover: The nine mind-warping tactics emotional abusers use to keep you locked in their circus of dysfunction.Why your loving heart (and need for connection) makes you the perfect target, and why that’s not a flaw.The six empowering, grown-up strategies to unhook yourself from their drama without turning into a fire-breathing dragon.Why explanations are overrated, and how less really is more (especially when you're dealing with a manipulative guilt ninja).How to set boundaries like a boss while still loving people, but from a safe distance.Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Liked this episode? Here are some others you might want to check out: “Your Marriage Abuse Cycle Exercise” and “How to Respond to Emotional Abuse Tactics.”

If you’ve ever second-guessed your sanity, asked Google “Is my husband a narcissist or just an annoying human?” or thought you might be sinning by not cheerfully submitting to your own emotional obliteration, this episode is your wake-up call... with love.Christian counselor, Kris Reece, is back on the show for part two of our convo about the toxic mind games that keep Christian women stuck, particularly when Jesus is used as the emotional ball-and-chain.Together, we unravel gaslighting, guilt, spiritual manipulation, emotional immaturity, and why you’re not selfish or sinful for walking away from garbage disguised as godliness.Key Takeaways:Label-Schmabel: Stop obsessing over whether he's a narcissist or just "difficult." The real question is: does he take responsibility or make excuses? That’s your answer.Jesus Isn’t Your Abuser’s Alibi: Jesus didn’t die so you could stay trapped in a soul-sucking relationship. Guilt is a Control Tool: Toxic people weaponize your good-girl guilt to keep you stuck. Change the Dance: You can’t make him change. But you can change the steps you’re taking, and that alone can shift the entire dynamic. You’re Not Powerless: If everything hinges on him, you’re trapped. Shift the focus back to YOU: your choices, your growth, your freedom.Truth Bomb: It’s Not Your Fault: You’re not responsible for his tantrums, beliefs, or abuse. You are responsible for how you respond and whether you keep playing along.Rebuilding Takes Time: Gaslighting screws with your reality. Healing comes as you reconnect with truth, reclaim your identity, and learn to giggle (a little) when grown men act like kindergartners.Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Listen to Part One of my interview with Kris.Grab a copy of Kris’ new book, Breaking the Narcissist’s Grip.Get her FREE Narcissist Survival Guide. Check out her YouTube channel.Connect with Kris on Instagram and Facebook.Kris Reece is a Christian counselor, author, and speaker who helps believers break free from toxic relationships and codependency biblically and practically. With over 30 years of combined personal and professional experience, Kris has guided thousands through the emotional wreckage left by narcissistic and manipulative relationships. She blends deep biblical truth with real-world strategies to help others reclaim their identity, rebuild confidence, and walk in the freedom Christ offers. Kris is the author of Breaking the Narcissist’s Grip and host of a fast-growing YouTube channel where she equips Christians to set boundaries, overcome manipulation, break trauma bonds, and heal after toxic relationships.

Is it ever okay to walk away from your own mother… or your husband? (Cue the gasps from the peanut gallery clutching their pearls.) If you grew up in church culture, you probably heard that honoring your parents and submitting to your husband meant swallowing abuse with a smile. But guess what? That’s not actually what Jesus had in mind.In this episode, I sit down with Christian counselor and author Kris Reese (yes, the YouTube powerhouse with over 476,000 subscribers) to dismantle the toxic myths that keep Christian women chained to destructive relationships.Together, we talk about:The big guilt trip – Why Christians confuse “honor” with “obey” and how that keeps grown women stuck in parent-child dynamics with their 70-year-old mothers.The covenant conundrum – What makes walking away from a spouse more complicated, and why wisdom (not religious rule-keeping) is the real key.The fog machine – Fear, obligation, and guilt: the trifecta abusers use to keep you running in circles like a hamster who just discovered Peloton.Boundaries ≠ lack of forgiveness – FACTS: You can forgive your mom and still not show up to her guilt-drenched Sunday dinners. You can forgive your husband and still not share a bed with him while he weaponizes scripture against you.Manipulation tactics 101 – Victimhood and scripture-twisting are the go-to moves of toxic moms and spouses everywhere. (“You’re not being a good daughter/wife” translates to: “My control over you is slipping and I hate it.”)Trauma bonds and porcupines – Why you might be clinging to the emotional equivalent of a barbed-wire teddy bear, and how to finally put it down without losing your sanity.Why Christians stay too long – It’s not because they’re lazy or selfish. It’s because they’ve been conditioned to confuse holiness with masochism.Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Grab a copy of Kris’ new book, Breaking the Narcissist’s Grip.Get her FREE Narcissist Survival Guide. Check out her YouTube channel.Connect with Kris on Instagram and Facebook.Kris Reece is a Christian counselor, author, and speaker who helps believers break free from toxic relationships and codependency biblically and practically. With over 30 years of combined personal and professional experience, Kris has guided thousands through the emotional wreckage left by narcissistic and manipulative relationships. She blends deep biblical truth with real-world strategies to help others reclaim their identity, rebuild confidence, and walk in the freedom Christ offers. Kris is the author of Breaking the Narcissist’s Grip and host of a fast-growing YouTube channel where she equips Christians to set boundaries, overcome manipulation, break trauma bonds, and heal after toxic relationships.

You know how sometimes life gives you lemons and then instead of sugar for lemonade, the church hands you a moldy marriage book and says, “Submit harder”? That was my reality. In this episode, I take you back to a hotel room where I was nine months pregnant and seriously questioning if I wanted to keep living. Instead, I stumbled my way out of despair and into freedom thanks to a stack of books, a laptop, and eventually, the real God (not the mean knock-off version I had been worshiping).What You’ll Learn in This Episode:The two hotel rooms that changed everything: one where I nearly gave up, and one where I finally woke up.How books became my lifelines (thank you, Google rabbit holes).The moment I realized the “god” I was serving looked suspiciously like my abusive husband. Why leaving my marriage also meant leaving behind a toxic image of God.What it really means to be a butterfly (It’s not about fluttering around in a meadow. It’s about fierce, unapologetic freedom).Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Who’s Pushing Your ButtonsFoolproofing Your LifeCheck out a related Flying Free Podcast episode, “We Are Like the God We Worship,” and then check out my comprehensive list of the best books for Christian women in emotionally abusive marriages. 

What happens when you grow up in hyper-conservative church culture, marry your Bible camp sweetheart at 20, and then spend decades swimming in a poisoned pond of patriarchy, affairs, gaslighting, and spiritual abuse? Jennie’s story is a real look at what it takes to finally climb out of the muck and into fresh water.If you’ve ever wondered, “Is it me? Or is this whole thing just completely bonkers?” then pull up a chair. Jennie’s journey from silent suffering to empowered freedom will resonate with every woman who’s ever been told to “submit more, pray harder, and wear longer skirts” while her husband runs wild and gets a pat on the back from church elders.What You’ll Learn in This Episode: How a “perfect Christian marriage” turned into decades of betrayal and control.The role toxic church teachings played in keeping Jennie (and her kids) trapped.Why standing up for her daughter was the unexpected turning point that led Jennie toward freedom.The difference between swimming in poisoned pond water and finally breathing fresh air.How Flying Free gave Jennie the tools, words, and community she needed to rewire her brain and rebuild her life.The power of “just the next step” (because I hate to break it to you, but God doesn’t hand out the whole escape plan on a silver platter).Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Some other survivor stories to give you hope: “Military Marriage Abuse: Elizabeth’s Story,” and “Escaping the Man Everyone Admired: Lisa’s Story.”

Do you ever feel like you’re drowning in guilt, shame, and Christian “shoulds” while trying to survive a toxic marriage, a brutal divorce, or the aftermath of both? What if I told you that letting go, accepting reality, and loving yourself isn’t just a cliche, but it can actually change everything?In this episode of Flying Free, I dive into the “Let Go, Accept, and Love” tool (a.k.a. LAL, because who doesn’t love an acronym?). Plus, you’ll hear how one brave mama used these steps in the middle of a soul-crushing custody battle, and she came out stronger, freer, and a whole lot wiser.What You’ll Learn in This Episode: Why believing the actual good news (and not the toxic “dirty worm theology”) matters more than you think.The three steps of the LAL toolHow one Flying Free member used LAL to survive a painful separation from her child with compassion instead of despair.The messy, real-life lessons another member learned during her custody evaluation, and why showing humility beats trying to look like “Super Perfect Christian Mom.”Practical ways to prepare for divorce and custody evaluations without losing your sanity.Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Check out the Divorced Christian Woman Podcast, my newest podcast specifically for divorced women rebuilding their lives.The Mirror Bible is a refreshing Bible translation I highly recommend. Go follow Gretchen Baskerville’s YouTube channel. Also check out a recent interview I did with her, “Do Marriage Intensives Help to Heal Abusive Marriages?”Need a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA)? Rhonda Noordyk will help you with financial clarity and advocacy in divorce.

Have you ever felt like you're starring in a rerun of your own life? Same arguments. Same heartbreak. Same fake flowers and empty promises. It’s called the abuse cycle, my friend.In this episode, I dive deep into an exercise that one of our Flying Free members shared in the private forum. She mapped out her relationship’s specific abuse cycle, and what she discovered was pretty important.Nothing changes when nothing changes. Oof. That one landed.What you’ll learn:The Three Phases of the Abuse CycleWhat HE Does vs. What YOU Do in each phase, and why it’s crucial to spell it out.How this member's personalized cycle became her key to awareness, and eventually, empowerment.The Denial Trap: Why “love doesn’t keep a record of wrongs” is not a permission slip to forget he’s hurting you.The radical difference between surviving the cycle and disrupting it with intentional action.Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Check out some other related Flying Free Podcast episodes: “Interrupting the Abuse Cycle” and “How to Change Yourself While Still Stuck in an Emotionally Abusive Marriage.”

Ever fallen for someone who looked flawless on paper, but in real life turned out to be your personal nightmare with a Christian smile slapped on top? In today’s episode, I sit down with Maile, a bright spark in our Flying Free community, who thought she’d landed in God’s will when she married her second husband. Instead, she found herself suffocating under spiritual gaslighting, emotional sabotage, and escalating violence, all hidden behind the shiny veneer of “good Christian marriage.”This is a real story of what it looks like to wake up, break free, and rebuild your life, even when you’ve already done the divorce thing once before, and the church ladies are clutching their pearls at you for round two.In this episode:The red flags Maile ignored during dating (love bombing, control, snooping)How spiritual abuse kept her stuck under the “good Christian wife” lieWhy COVID became the unexpected wake-up call she neededHow she found the courage to leave, even after already being divorced onceWhat freedom and faith look like on the other side of abuseRead the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Book mentioned: The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk.Some other survivor stories: Shelley’s story and Stacie’s story.