Claim OwnershipMy Inner Torch
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© 2025 My Inner Torch
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My Inner Torch offers direct and personal insight with help for those of us in a relationship with someone who is undiagnosed/diagnosed with a Cluster B Personality Disorder. This is a safe place to come for words of inspiration that draw from my personal experiences and is produced to gain understanding and to find direction as we navigate through the often difficult relationships with those we love who suffer with a Cluster B personality disorder that includes BPD and NPD. PLEASE NOTE: This podcast is NOT for those who suffer with these disorders. This podcast is for survivors of these challenging and difficult relationships.
256 Episodes
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Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I understand that reactive abuse happens when I, as a survivor, respond to intense provocation from a Cluster B individual, which leads to my own regret and makes me appear abusive.I recognize that reacting to Cluster B provocation is a trap that fuels their narrative and strengthens their control.I will avoid engaging in unwinnable arguments or using “JADE” (justifying, arguing, defending, explaining) as these tactics are ineffective.I choose to cu...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I now recognize Cluster B relationships as “Ponzi schemes.” They start with intense love bombing, mirroring, and promises that feel tailor-made to me.I understand that early “returns” in these relationships are illusions. These are funded by my own emotional investment, not a genuine connection.I’m aware of intermittent reinforcement used to keep me invested. This involves alternating cruelty with small acts of kindness that manipulate my emotions.I...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I now understand that Cluster B relationships start with idealization, making me feel deeply understood, but it’s a false persona, not real love.I recognize that trauma bonding keeps me in the cycle, confusing intense highs and lows with love, similar to addiction.I’ve learned that the hope that the idealized person will return fuels the cycle, despite that person never existing in reality.I now see how my familiarity with chaotic dynamics from chil...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I’ve questioned my Clustered B partner’s love because of the deep pain I’ve experienced and my desperate desire to understand if their behaviors could coexist with genuine affection.What I once believed was love was actually an allure - a manipulative tool used for control, supply, and validation, not a genuine connection of mutual care.Their version of “love” was always conditional and transactional, entirely dependent on my ability to fulfill thei...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I recognize the cycle of abuse: love bombing, devaluation, discard, and potential hoovering. I am aware that these patterns can still affect me even if hoovering is not present.I understand that letting go is a process. It requires my mental, emotional, and physical preparation.I acknowledge my trauma bonds and lingering hope. I understand that these can tie me to the abuser. Leaving means breaking free from the belief that I deserve the abuse.I pre...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I need to shift my focus from forgiving the cluster B individual to forgiving myself to start my healing process.I acknowledge that I may have made less than ideal choices, like ignoring red flags or hoping for change, without blaming myself for the abuse I received.I recognize the cycle of abuse, gaslighting, and manipulation inherent in my cluster B relationship.I will verbalize self-compassionate statements, such as apologizing to myself for aban...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I’ve learned to recognize that Cluster B individuals prioritize themselves in relationships. They view relationships as transactional, focusing on extracting resources from me. I now understand that loving gestures from a Cluster B individual often have ulterior motives. Their promises are conditional and used to maintain my investment until I’m no longer useful. I accept that Cluster B individuals struggle to be love, not just show it. Their expr...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I recognize the “false self” in Cluster B personality disorders as a constructed persona used for manipulation, control, and validation.I understand that love bombing is a tactic used to create an intense initial connection, but it’s unsustainable and not genuine.I acknowledge that the idealized version of the person with Cluster B traits never existed, and grieving this loss is essential for my healing.I will shift my focus from trying to fix or ch...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I now recognize when I’m in a one-sided relationship where I consistently give without receiving.I prioritize my well-being; I’ve stopped trying to fix someone who doesn’t want to be fixed.I’m reclaiming my identity. I’m rebuilding myself on my own terms, not trying to be who I was before.I set boundaries. I speak up for myself. I say no without guilt.I grieve the relationship I wanted; I understand healing is not about going back. It’s about moving...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I’ve learned that Cluster B individuals often present a “false self” to gain trust and loyalty. This is not mere flattery, but a carefully constructed persona.This false self feeds on my deepest desires for love and acceptance, making it incredibly seductive.I’ve noticed cracks in the mask appear as inconsistencies, coldness, and disproportionate anger. These are often disguised as jokes or minimized.The “real self” is often riddled with shame and s...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I recognize Cluster B personality traits and have learned to identify manipulative behaviors like gaslighting and love bombing.I understand the trauma bond and can now recognize the cyclical nature of abuse and its addictive qualities.I’ve broken free from the cycle, accepting that the abuser’s actions were not my fault.I’ve reclaimed my reality and no longer doubt my perception when faced with gaslighting.I prioritize my healing and have sought pro...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I recognize that Cluster B personalities often create narratives where they are the victims.I won’t get drawn into arguments; I’ll maintain a neutral stance.I’m reclaiming my identity; I’m stopping prioritizing their emotional needs above my own.I understand that Cluster B individuals may lack the capacity for genuine care.Healing is crucial before leaving a relationship; it prevents me from returning to the abuser.I’m identifying and breaking free ...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I’ve learned that emotional abuse from Cluster B personalities is insidious and often goes unnoticed, causing internal damage like anxiety and self-doubt.I now recognize how subtle undermining, through seemingly innocent comments, erodes confidence and manipulates perception.I understand how conditional love can create dependence, leaving me feeling like I'm performing for affection and fearing the withdrawal of love.I’ve witnessed how Cluster B ind...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I’ve learned that Cluster B personalities often engage in a long-term emotional con, slowly eroding their partner’s emotional well-being.I understand the initial phase involves intense love-bombing, creating a false sense of connection and dependence.I’ve witnessed how once the victim is hooked, the abuser’s mask slips, revealing criticism, coldness, and neglect.I recognize that publicly, Cluster B individuals often maintain a perfect image, making ...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I acknowledge that it’s okay to admit “I’m not okay” when facing emotional abuse. Ignoring the problem leads to my self-erasure.I recognize the signs of emotional abuse: gaslighting, silent treatment, control disguised as affection.I understand that minimizing or rationalizing abuse is not self-protection; it’s self-destruction.I give myself permission to grieve, be angry, and feel the full range of emotions.I know that healing begins with awareness...
Send us a text Let's look back to January 2022 and one of my most downloaded podcasts. This resonated with many listeners. I hope it will with you too! 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I cannot fix someone with Cluster B personality disorders. Their issues predate my relationship.Accepting this limitation is crucial for my well-being. I must avoid the codependent role of trying to “fix” them.I need to recognize manipulative behaviors like silent treatment and love bombing as warning signs.I must ...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I recognize the pain caused by relationships with cluster B personalities. It’s okay for me to feel hurt.I understand that these relationships are often doomed from the start due to the inherent dysfunction.I will stop trying to fix them; I’ll focus on self-love and self-respect. My worth is not dependent on their love.I accept that these individuals are unlikely to change, and it’s not my fault.I will allow myself to grieve the loss and move on fro...
Send us a text Today we take a "Look Back Listen" to the Emotional Con Game, originally uploaded three years ago in 2022. Unfortunately, this is something that remains relevant in Cluster B relationships today and was one of my downloaded episodes. Enjoy! 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I’ve learned that Cluster B personality disorders involve manipulative behaviors and emotional abuse. As a victim, I often felt responsible for the abuser’s actions.I now recognize that understanding the manipu...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I’ve experienced how Cluster B abuse leaves me grieving lost relationships, identities, and futures. I often blamed myself, feeling trapped in the abuser’s delusional reality. My healing involved recognizing the abuser’s inability to love and their manipulative tactics. Self-reflection was crucial for breaking free from the cycle of abuse. Seeking support and understanding from others aided my healing process. I learned to prioritize my self-worth ...
Send us a text 🎯 Key Takeaways Core Points: I’ve learned that intimacy with a Cluster B personality is often distorted or nonexistent due to their inability to be vulnerable. I’ve realized that Cluster B individuals may mimic intimacy but lack genuine emotional empathy, hindering true connection. I experienced sex with my Cluster B partner as manipulative, transactional, or used as punishment. I felt emotionally lonely despite being in a relationship with a Cluster B partner. My healing invo...
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