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Noobs and Knockouts Podcast
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Austin has watched a lot of wrestling. David has never watched wrestling. Together they come together to watch and analysis professional wrestling as a television show and cultural staple. Won't you join us?
164 Episodes
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On this episode of the Noobs and Knockouts podcast, we travel back to 1996 WCW, and for the first time, Sting is in the rafters! We hone in on Sting's journey for the next three months as he hangs out in the rafters, points baseball bats at people, tests WCW guys to see if they'll hit him, and dropping anybody who calls him out with his new finishing move. And between Jeff Jarrett, Lex Luger, the Steiner Brothers, and more, there sure are a lot of people who think dressing up in black and white means Sting is nWo. Also on this episode, we cover World War III and Starrcade in broad strokes as Jeff Jarrett tries to weasel into the Four Horsemen, Luger keeps Racking big immobile wrestlers, The Giant wins a world title shot and the nWo are Completely Normal About It, Eric Bischoff becomes nWo 4 Lyfe, DDP gets offended at being a lower priority for the nWo than Virgil, and Roddy Piper and Hulk Hogan have the worst feud ever. Won't you join us?
On this episode of the Noobs and Knockouts Podcast, it's the go-home show to Halloween Havoc 1996, and Sting returns! And he's in spooky white face paint now! Is he nWo? He's the Crow! Kinda. But the only thing for sure about Sting right now is that nothing is for sure. Also on the show, the nWo is here doing amateur film work, Dean Malenko has a banger with a dude named JIMMY GRAFFITI, Jeff Jarrett and Ric Flair have a strut off, Eric Bischoff tries to trash talk over the World Series, Hulk Hogan takes over the set of 3 Ninjas 4, and more! Won't you join us?
On this episode of the Noobs and Knockouts Podcast, it's the fall out from Fall Brawl 96, where nWo won because WCW were stupid. Get used to that. But Sting has decided that apparently, his years of loyalty wasn't enough for WCW, so he's a free agent now. It's the end of an era as we see Surfer Sting for the final time. Also on this episode, we get lucha match swaps from Fall Brawl, missing finishes to show nWo fanboys taking over the merch table, THE (NITRO) DEBUT OF GLACIER, an honest-to-God Hugh Morrus match, a new nWo member with a comically large button, and Lex Luger beating up the Four Horsemen single handedly so I guess he didn't actually need Sting after all. All this and more! Won't you join us?
On this episode of the Noobs and Knockouts podcast, we return to WCW 1996, and it's time for War Games! WCW vs NWO! But who is the NWO's fourth man? And what side is Sting on? And will it be a War Games to remember? Well, the answer is Sting, WCW, and in a sense. As usual, the Cruiserweight division saves the show. Plus, DDP and Chavo go to work, Nick Patrick is on the take, the number one contender is a moron, and Harlem Heat still can't win a match without 3 interference spots. Won't you join us?
On this episode of the Noobs and Knockouts Podcast, we return to the Temple for more of Lucha Underground. In the main event, 7 men and women compete for the Gift of the Gods Championship, including Chavo Guerrero after stealing Cage's medallion. I'm sure that's not going to bite him in the behind later. Also on this episode, Daga finds a snake who wants his anaconda, Marty The Moth mocks The Troops (tm), and Pentagon Jr is undergoing some rigorous physical therapy for his back injury. Won't you join us?
On this episode of the Noobs and Knockouts podcast, we finally Gather at Starrcade '85: The Gathering! Ric Flair and Dusty Rhodes put on a classic, Magnum TA and Tully Blanchard are wonderfully violent, Miss Atlanta Lively is hilarious, JJ Dillon is a mega-winner and Paul Jones is a mega-loser. And so much more! Won't you join us?
On this episode of the Noobs and Knockouts podcast, we wrap up in 2012 TNA, as we get the results of the paternity test! As you can tell from the title, things get messy. This is Austin's greatest troll job ever. Also on this episode, we get our final update on the 2012 Bound for Glory Series! Hopefully Bully Ray doesn't win or get close or anything....It's also Open Fight Night for the 75th time, and this time it's TNA vs Aces and Eights for the first time! Open warfare! Which mostly means a lot of walking around and the bikers not doing anything. But Hulk Hogan is back! Joy. Won't you join us?
On this chaotic episode of the Noobs and Knockouts Podcast, Friend of the Show Elizabeth returns for her 5th appearance, as we watch no wrestling at all! Instead, we pop on over to Dropout TV, indie streaming service from the former employees of College Humor, for a little wrestling-adjacent TV! First, we watch Smartypants, where Jess Ross presents a Powerpoint on how Wrestling is Drag. Then we pop over to Thousandaires where Danielle Radford treats her friends to some good ole fashioned wrasslin. Plus a LOT MORE OFF THE RAILS NONSENSE. Won't you join us?
On this episode of the Noobs and Knockouts Podcast, we head to 2000 WCW, where Vince Russo and Eric Bischoff have taken over as heads of creative! It's a new day, an even playing field, all the titles are being stripped! And yet, the more things change the more things stay the same. What's the matter, Sid, can't find your scissors? On this episode we discuss Vince Russo's tumultuous road to quitting the WWF and fighting the politics in WCW, the nonsensical plot that is New Blood vs Millionaire's Club, that "even playing field" resulting in the New Blood still not getting title shots, sub-5 minute matches, and so so so so so so many worked shoot promos. Won't you join us?
On this episode of the Noobs and Knockouts Podcast, we head to 1996 WCW. It's the go-home to Fall Brawl, where the NWO will go toe to toe in War Games with WCW's finest: Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Lex Luger, and Sting. Except, Luger can't find Sting, and suddenly Sting is in the NWO limo. NO. IT CAN'T BE. HE'S BETRAYED US ALL. Also on this episode, a bunch of matches, but who cares, we gotta cut to what the Four Horsemen think in this exact moment. Won't you join us?
On this episode of the Noobs and Knockouts Podcast, we return to Lucha Underground, where Mil Muertes gets his rematch with Matanza Cueto, but on one condition: it has have Grave Consequences. Even better, it has to have GRAVER CONSEQUENCES. I'm seeing double, four coffins! Also on this episode, we get the first clues about Councilman Delgado's boss, I'm sure that will pay off soon! Plus a trios title rematch and the final match for an Aztec Medallion. Won't you join us?
On this episode of the Noobs and Knockouts Podcast, we return to 1985 for the go home show to Starrcade 85, THE GATHERING. And we felt like going home a third of the way in lol. But we still found a few things to talk about. Dusty has a demon in him, Ric Flair commits assault, Buddy Landel and Manny Fernandez have a low-key banger, the Road Warriors are good promos, we talk about the history of Starrcade taglines, and more! Won't you join us?
On this episode of the Noobs and Knockouts Podcast, we return to 2012 TNA, and oh my god everyone is an idiot. AJ Styles forces himself to win a match to be able to take a paternity test, everyone believes Bully Ray is smart for accusing James Storm is in Aces and Eights, and then Aces and Eights attacks James Storm when everyone believed he was in the group. Also on this episode, the Knockouts get a new referee, Hulk Hogan promises he'll be back next week, Magnus "gets in Samoa Joe's head" by losing, and the BFG series keeps on keeping on I guess. Won't you join us?
On this episode of the Noobs and Knockouts Podcast, we spin the wheel once again to watch a random episode of wrestling, and we landed on ECW Double Tables! It's early 1995, ECW is so close to breaking out, as the stars are starting to align. The Public Enemy vs Sabu and Taz in a Tables match! Cactus Jack vs Sandman in a Death Match! Shane Douglas vs TULLY BLANCHARD for the ECW Title! And more! Won't you join us?
On this episode of the Noobs and Knockouts Podcast, we return to 2006 for Backlash, it's finally here! Vince McMahon and Shane McMahon vs Shawn Michaels and GOD. It goes a lot how you think it would. Vince performing "miracles", God is apparently a spotlight, everyone but Vince thinks this is a joke, and in the end the Spirit Squad show up. The rest? Well, it was certainly a PPV that happened. Bad finishes, a Matt Striker segment, and a HHH post-match beatdown that goes nowhere. Won't you join us?
On this episode of the Noobs and Knockouts Podcast, we return to the Temple where 3 medallions are being given out. In the main event, Sexy Star finally faces her trauma and tormentor...by beating her in a wrestling match. Look, it's wrestling, sometimes it gets weird. But Mariposa and Sexy Star are going at it in a match until one of them says "No Mas". Also on this episode, Mil and Matanza have their rematch set, Famous B finally gets his client a match, Sinestro De La Muerte has a disastrous re-debut, and Dario Cueto shows actual empathy????? Won't you join us?
On this episode of the Noobs and Knockouts Podcast, we return to 1985 Mid-Atlantic. Dusty Rhodes is BACK from injury, and he would proceed to cut one of the greatest promos of all time. Yeah, we're doing Hard Times. And we have a lot to say about why only Dusty Rhodes could give that promo. Also on this episode, a whole lot of squash matches, Austin wanting to bash his own head in with TWO Terry Taylor promos, the full Starrcade '85 card being announced, and an obsession with gatherings. Won't you join us?
On this episode of the Noobs and Knockouts Podcast, we return to 2012 TNA, where AJ Styles is shirking his responsibilities as a father to be by running off to Australia, so Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian are throwing Claire Lynch a baby shower! Do the right thing, AJ, please. Save us from this angle. Also on this episode, the accusations against James Storm continue to pile up, the BFG series continues in its confusing glory, and Madison Rayne is winning matches via screwjobs because she's screwing Earl Hebner's job. Won't you join us?
On this episode of the Noobs and Knockouts Podcast, we head to 1999 to celebrate Adam Copeland and Christian Cage...by watching the promo that tanked their first big gimmick. The Brood breaks their silence, and frankly we all wished they would have shut up. But it's also the first episode of Smackdown, and it's time for a MERGER FROM HELL. But also it's 1999 WWF, so all the matches are garbage. Won't you join us?
On this episode of the Noobs and Knockouts Podcast, we return to 2006 where Vince McMahon has seen the light: he needs his own religion. It's the birth of McMahonism! And with it, the most unholy of WWE sketches: Photoshop comedy. But God isn't out of this yet. Also on this episode, more May 19 shenanigans, ANOTHER HANDICAP MATCH, and Austin learning how to stop worrying and love the Mickie/Trish feud. Won't you join us?
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