Choose To Be with Choose Recovery Services; Betrayal Trauma Healing

You are not going to want to miss todays conversation!! Ok, you really don’t want to miss any of our conversations, but today it a special one as we have joining us the amazing Tony Overbay. We are talking about narcissism today with Tony and how to grasp the bigger picture in healing and recovery. Learning how to build a higher emotional IQ is often left out in most addiction recovery programs and this is a key piece to healing, recovery and just being a more functional human. If you want to learn more about the tools that Tony talks about today such as the 4 pillars, his marriage course, or Facebook support group check hi out HERE His podcasts are The Virtual Couch and Waking Up To Narcissism Ongoing Courses: Road to Recovery - Join Luke and Alana Gordon, Founders of Choose Recovery Services and Program Directors for the Men of Moroni and The Worth Group for a free monthly couples webinar. Navigating the relational aspects on the road to recovery can be complex and confusing. Am I In An Abusive Relationship? - Free, self-paced workshop to help you identify key red flags that might be showing up in your relationship. Choose 180 Male Support Group - Led by Luke Gordon In 180 we help men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with other men, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deep self respect. Did you miss the FREE BODY LOVE class? no worries you can get the recording HERE Upcoming Events: Believing In You- Group Coaching Program - GET YOUR SPOT FOR NEXT ROUND IN JANUARY!! Take your healing to the NEXT LEVEL in Amie's group coaching program where you will gain more awareness that will help you heal in ways you didn't even know you needed. For more information on what this class entails click the link to find out more. Should I Stay or Should I Go - Held on the FIRST THURSDAY of every month. Come join this FREE group coaching with Amie for those who are feeling stuck in making a decision around their marriage. Come and get coached in a safe space to help you shift through not so helpful thoughts that are keeping you stuck **Follow Amie and Alana on social media for daily content and messages of healing and recovery. Do you feel yourself leaning towards divorce? Head over to The Empowered Divorce Podcast with Amie Woolsey to get support.

This topic came up in a group when someone asked us, “What if I have too much empathy – what if my empathy is coming back to bite me on the butt?” Empathy is so complex when we're talking to women in betrayal trauma. And even within this specific container, there are so many nuances: having too much empathy, having too little empathy, how betrayal trauma affects your capacity for empathy with your children. As we hone in on one area for the sake of starting somewhere, we encourage you to discern for yourself how you’re doing in these different areas. Ultimately, we hope to guide you towards embracing empathy in a way that’s healthy for you. Ongoing Courses: Am I In An Abusive Relationship? - Free, self-paced workshop to help you identify key red flags that might be showing up in your relationship. Road To Recovery - Join Luke and Alana Gordon, Founders of Choose Recovery Services and Program Directors for the Men of Moroni and The Worth Group for a free monthly couples webinar. Navigating the relational aspects on the road to recovery can be complex and confusing. Choose 180 Male Support Group - Led by Luke Gordon In 180 we help men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with other men, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deep self respect. Upcoming Events: Should I Stay or Should I Go - Held on the FIRST THURSDAY of every month. Come join this FREE group coaching with Amie for those who are feeling stuck in making a decision around their marriage. Come and get coached in a safe space to help you shift through not so helpful thoughts that are keeping you stuck Believing In You- Group Coaching Program - GET YOUR SPOT FOR NEXT ROUND IN JANUARY!! Take your healing to the NEXT LEVEL in Amie's group coaching program where you will gain more awareness that will help you heal in ways you didn't even know you needed. For more information on what this class entails click the link to find out more. Follow Amie and Alana on social media for daily content and messages of healing and recovery.

Whether you're in a romantic relationship or not, learning to create psychological safety for yourself after trauma is a huge principle of healing. When we talk about betrayal and all the loss that comes with betrayal trauma, we include the loss of your central nervous system to PTSD, the loss of trust, the loss of your self esteem, the loss of emotional regulation, and the loss of safety. Many of us don’t even know that we’re in charge of our own safety, and since we didn’t have it in place before the betrayal happened, our next best option is to put it in place now. How to start creating psychological safety In the recovery world, it’s often asserted that the partner who’s caused the betrayal needs to create safety. And that’s true… to an extent. But the second we rely on an external source to be the answer, we give away our power. The truth is, you don’t have to wait on your partner to take action to feel safe. You already have the power to start creating the safety you need. You’ll Learn: How to choose new thoughts that rewire your brain for psychological safety The importance of a community of support in your healing process Why noticing yourself and your own needs is an essential step toward safety Mentioned in the show:  Facing Heartbreak: Steps to Recovery for Partners of Sex Addicts by Stefanie Carnes, PhD Ongoing Courses: Am I In An Abusive Relationship? - Free, self-paced workshop to help you identify key red flags that might be showing up in your relationship. Road To Recovery - Join Luke and Alana Gordon, Founders of Choose Recovery Services and Program Directors for the Men of Moroni and The Worth Group for a free monthly couples webinar. Navigating the relational aspects on the road to recovery can be complex and confusing. Choose 180 Male Support Group - Led by Luke Gordon In 180 we help men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with other men, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deep self respect. Upcoming Events: Body Love Workshop- Monday October 3rd @ 6:00pm PT Join this FREE upcoming workshop where Amie walks you through some basic steps to lean to love your body again after betrayal. Believing In You- Group Coaching Program - GET YOUR SPOT FOR NEXT ROUND IN JANUARY!! Take your healing to the NEXT LEVEL in Amie's group coaching program where you will gain more awareness that will help you heal in ways you didn't even know you needed. For more information on what this class entails click the link to find out more. Follow Amie and Alana on social media for daily content and messages of healing and recovery.

If you’re new to the work of Tony Overbay, we’re so glad to be the ones to introduce you. Tony is, among many things, a licensed marriage and family therapist and host of The Virtual Couch podcast. Today’s episode is a real treat, because it’s an interview with Luke and Alana on The Virtual Couch for a betrayal trauma podcast. In conversation with Tony, Luke and Alana share vulnerable insights from behind-the-scenes in their marriage – including their history with betrayal trauma and their subsequent healing journey. It was (and is) a long journey to navigate betrayal trauma and embark on a healing journey. Through PTSD, separation, no-contact periods, recommitting to the relationship, and raising five kids, Luke and Alana’s story is full of moments you can relate to no matter where you might be in your recovery journey. You’ll Learn: Why “staggered disclosure” is such a common theme in partner betrayal The difference between disclosures that are healing and disclosures that are harmful The cost of not having a mental health professional in the early days of their healing How to understand trauma triggers with the analogy of the box Ongoing Courses: Am I In An Abusive Relationship? - Free, self-paced workshop to help you identify key red flags that might be showing up in your relationship. Road To Recovery - Join Luke and Alana Gordon, Founders of Choose Recovery Services and Program Directors for the Men of Moroni and The Worth Group for a free monthly couples webinar. Navigating the relational aspects on the road to recovery can be complex and confusing. Choose 180 Male Support Group - Led by Luke Gordon In 180 we help men move through the pains of addiction, relationship healing, managing emotions, and moving past shame. You’ll learn how to better connect with other men, understand your own emotional experience, and build a deep self respect. Upcoming Events: Body Love Workshop- Monday October 3rd @ 6:00pm PT  Join this FREE upcoming workshop where Amie walks you through some basic steps to lean to love your body again after betrayal.  Believing In You- Group Coaching Program - GET YOUR SPOT FOR NEXT ROUND IN JANUARY!! Take your healing to the NEXT LEVEL in Amie's group coaching program where you will gain more awareness that will help you heal in ways you didn't even know you needed. For more information on what this class entails click the link to find out more.  Follow Amie and Alana on social media for daily content and messages of healing and recovery. 

When you experience trauma from betrayal, abuse and/or divorce, the first step is self care- caring for the self- your own wellbeing. Its more of our natural tendency to go the opposite- to take care of, to control, fix and look for al the things outside of us that we think are creating the inside chaos. We often justify, rationalize, and minimize our need for wellbeing, for time, 10 minutes of time to just be silent, still, center, grounded, IN and with the self. When we are in overdrive, we are now not living in the present, we are not in the moment we are not really living. Today Amie shares what self care is NOT. Debunking myths about self care and offering you new ideas to consider.  Some episode Highlights: -Self care is NOT selfish -Self Care is NOT for those who are weak -Self care is NOT a one and done -The term self care can be changed! -Emotional first aid kit and what that looks like for you If you are struggling with step one in your healing journey you are not alone. thats why Amie creates a foundational healing group for these basic healing principles that often get overlooked or ignored. Dive deep into your foundational healing as the next group starts in September. contact [email protected] for more information.  From the episode: Andy Puddicombe TED Talk Ongoing Courses: Am I In An Abusive Relationship? - Free self paces workshop to help you identify key red flags that might be showing up in your relationship.  Upcoming Events: Body Love Workshop- Join this FREE upcoming workshop where Amie walks you through some basic steps to lean to love your body again after betrayal. to get on the interest list for that click the link! Divorce Retreat October Prepare to Thrive- early marriage course September