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Polishing Turds: A Bad Music Podcast
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Polishing Turds: A Bad Music Podcast

Author: Nick Vitale & Cal Denissen

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We take the worst bands you remember and give them way more attention than they deserve. Equal parts comedy and storytelling, Polishing Turds will change the way you look at pop music. Behind every bad song there's a good story!

59 Episodes
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It's a brand new millennium. The "Tubthumping" heyday is long gone and most people have forgotten Chumbawamba even existed. But that doesn't mean our quirky comrades are down for the count; on the contrary they're ready as ever to confront this modern tech dystopia with their trademark wit and biting social commentary, in addition to a rather liberal employment of accordions....As always, inadvertent history lessons come with the territory of discussing this band, and in this episode you'll b...
At long last, it's TUBTHUMPING TIME!! After endless digressions through history, politics, and obscure music scenes we finally arrive at Chumbawamba's era-defining hit. What does "Tubthumping" mean? What inspired its composition? Which creepy pederast mogul pushed it onto pop radio? We're gonna tell you everything you wanted to know about this tune and then some!This episode also includes a special theatrical contribution from the following voice actors. HUGE THANKS to the these talented huma...
Our heroes continue their wayward march toward improbable fame, satiating their anarchic through dalliances with new genres of music, including dance, pop, reggae, and a mysterious unheard-of one which we apparently think exists. And of course this being Chumbawamba, we've supplied the necessary historical context for each esoteric track. Topics of conversation in this episode will include Live Aid, Apartheid, a bitch slap in Parliament, hypocrisies in sampling law and beyond. **Lis...
(Okay FINE we'll tell the actual story of Chumbawamba and not a bunch of obscure noisy punk bands you've never heard of!)Before they were pop superstars, they were a misbegotten collection of misfits from the post-industrial wasteland of Northern England. They lived collectively in a dilapidated squat house, sharing all food and money (and, occasionally, each other's bodies). They agitated for revolution and made allies with striking coal miners. And slowly but surely, they came to realize th...
In 1997 a smash-hit single called "Tubthumping" took the world by storm. Its authors were an eccentric eight-piece outfit from Leeds, England who kept insisting that they were anarchists. Media and fans alike were confused: what did this feel-good drinking song have to do with politics? And what were a bunch of radicals doing making pop music anyhow? This is the story of Chumbawamba... sort of.You see, to understand Chumbawamba's incongruous success as pop star anarchists, you have to know th...
CONTENT WARNING: DISCUSSION OF SEXUAL ABUSE, KIDNAPPING, AND OTHER GRUESOME SUBJECT MATTER.Hey guys. Remember Viper, that insane meme rapper who sang about the virtues of smoking crack? Well recently he's been arrested on some truly disturbing charges. This story is so monumentally insane that we had to talk about it separately from our regular content. This episode is short and not very funny. There's no music. Quite honestly, the goal of uploading this is less to entertain our audience...
#49 WESLEY WILLIS

#49 WESLEY WILLIS

2024-01-0801:17:14

Wesley Willis was truly one of the strangest dudes to ever touch a keyboard. A street artist and independent musician from Chicago's south side, Wesley self-produced dozens of CDs before amassing a grassroots cult following among hipsters and music nerds. Wesley was a consummate "outsider artist"; his songs are basically little more than spoken word rants belted over a pre-programmed keyboard track. His lyrics cover all manner of oddities from McDonald's to gangsters to Sucking a Camel's Ass....
HO HO HO! We're finally back for our annual Holiday Special! This year we're examining all the ways that Christmas music gets adapted by and tailored to various subcultures in our society. Rednecks, truckers, metalheads, vegans -- they all have their own Christmas songs, and we'd like to pay homage to this shameless pandering by playing 10 of the weirdest, most esoteric Christmas songs that search bars could scour up.Happy Holidays, fam! We love all of you!![P.S. DUE TO SOME RANDOM FUCKERY BY...
We wrap up our ICP series by taking a gander at what our boys J & Shaggy have been up to for the past decade or so. The rap world has changed dramatically since ICP's heyday in the 90s; do our Wicked Clown heroes have what it takes to keep up??We also unveil a special "Juggalo Turd Deck" -- six cards that reveal a wildly entertaining story or tidbit about ICP we haven't mentioned so far! These include ICP's beefs with Eminem and Twiztid, a bizarre Gold-themed side project, and more!FOLLOW...
Wicked Clowns or Criminal Masterminds?? In this episode we cover the bizarre drama that unfolded when the FBI decided to officially classify Juggalos as a "gang." While seemingly ridiculous, this had drastic consequences for both ICP and ordinary Juggalos across the nation. How the heck did this happen? Are Juggalos really gangsters? We break it down in detail, exploring the messy police practices and lazy journalism that led to this unprecedented decision, as well as J & Shaggy's hi...
Violent J & Shaggy 2 Dope lead the Juggalos into the New Millennium with the long-anticipated release of the 6th Joker's Card, the one that was supposed to herald The End Times... but what ICP actually revealed shocked and confused Juggalos the world over!We also follow our boys further into the 2000s, where they continued to serve the Juggalo faithful with new Dark Carnival bangers, including the most infamous ICP song of all, "Miracles." That's right, we're finally talking about your fa...
How can we possibly cover Insane Clown Posse without a full examination of the annual shitshow they birthed into existence? For over 20 years The Gathering of the Juggalos has put all other music festivals to shame in terms of the sheer quantity of drugs consumed, nudity displayed, and overall insanity laid bare for all mankind. In this episode we'll give you a comprehensive guide to all things Gathering; from its wacky history to its various carnival attractions, the surprising amount o...
The demented saga of ICP continues as our heroes J & Shaggy finally get called to the big leagues with a major record label contract. However, this soon proves a Faustian bargain as the Posse get repeatedly fucked over by corporate suits, including a dramatic and highly-publicized dispute with Disney. Nevertheless, the mid-to-late 90s were Prime Time for ICP as they packed sold-out stadiums, beat up strangers at Waffle House, performed at Woodstock '99, and actually put out some genuinely...
We're back like a vertebrae for Part II of our in-depth history of America's favorite psychopathic clowns! In this episode we'll cover the band's progress in the early 90s, when they established many of the traits that would come to define their unique aesthetic. This includes their affinity for Faygo, the coining of the term "Juggalo," and most especially the concept of the "Dark Carnival" -- the esoteric spirituality that guides all of ICP's music. Indeed, far from the deranged ramblin...
WHOOP WHOOP!! We're finally getting around to the group that proudly calls itself "The Most Hated Band in the World." For decades ICP have been adored by their fans and reviled by the establishment at levels that seem equally deranged. But what is the actual truth about this band? How did two high school dropouts from Detroit basically create an entire subculture, and is it really as scary and repulsive as people think?In the first of an epic series, we'll walk you through an Evil Clown origi...
In this special minisode, we catch up with new releases by old favorites including Nickelback, Limp Bizkit, Five Finger Death Punch, and more! What have these goofballs been up to? Turns out some pretty zany stuff! Come join us on a relaxed fit episode free from Nick's excessive over-writing and pontificating (for the most part).DID YOU KNOW??--Fred Durst volunteered to help with Twitter (and perhaps Elon Musk should have listened)?--Five Finger Death Punch singer Ivan Moody threatened to ret...
Having overcome the obstacles of a broken home and an uneasy path to success, Good Charlotte are now one of the most popular bands in America. But herein lies a paradox: how does a band that rose to prominence by ripping on Rich & Famous celebrities stay cool now that they're fully enmeshed in Hollywood culture?The answer was not always clear, and throughout the late 2000s and 2010s the boys from Maryland struggled to remain relevant as their audience slowly shrank. Join us as we process ...
We're back to tell the story of one of the most obnoxious and omnipresent pop-punk bands of the 2000s! Are Good Charlotte a true punk band? Are they a bunch of pretty-boy poseurs? Whatever the case these young lads from Maryland emerged from a troubled home with big dreams that they brought to life through the novel creation of a musical project that - in their own words - fused "the Backstreet Boys and Minor Threat". It's a good story and we managed to tell it with fewer pointless digre...
To conclude our series we embark on a long and painful examination of Kid Rock's final form: Embittered Fox News Grandpa. How did this once apolitical singer become one of rock and roll's foremost MAGA cheerleaders? Does he really believe all the bigoted Right Wing nonsense he espouses? As is often the case, the answer is much more complicated than you think. Join us as we embark on a painfully hilarious inquiry into the history of Kid Rock's politics. This information will come in quite hand...
It's the New Millennium baby, and Kid Rock is up to some shenanigans. He's trying different things, he's smoking funny things. He's crooning with Sheryl Crow and Hank Williams, Jr. He's dating Pam Anderson and beating up Waffle House patrons. But most of all he's doing what he does best: acting like a big asshole while stealing other people's music!Welcome to the wild world of Kid Rock's "country" phase. We dive deep into this bizarre and musically eclectic period that sees Bob Ritchie desper...
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Comments (1)

Rory Simpson

God damnit guys, when you're giving examples of bad music, you shouldn't play half the fucking track.

May 24th
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