Pretty Over Perfect

Everyone needs some tools for remaining the adult in tense parenting situations. Jessica and Michelle go back and forth about the different stages of childhood and how to handle big emotions from someone going through it, and someone looking in from the outside. 

Join us for a fun episode discussing all the latest: Barbiecore, Unexpected Red, Dumb Homes Paper Planners, Girl Dinner, Maximalism and more! We discuss these trends and whether we think they’re a bop or a flop. 

We all need more fun in our lives: fun creates bonds and lowers stress. It can be easy to put on the back burner, but the truth is that fun deserves to be prioritized in our lives. So we’re strategizing for incorporating more fun, and giving out some free (or nearly free) ways to have more fun with your spring break! 

Have you ever heard of the Pennebaker Method? It’s a protocol of using expressive writing to move through traumatic or stressful situations in order to find more peace and hope in their aftermath. It’s completely free and available at anytime to anyone, which is one of the reasons we recommend it - no matter what you’re going through it could help! People who use the method widely report feeling much better in body and mind after the practice. Here we discuss it in detail and share our personal experiences using it to work through our own real life hang ups. If you need to remember the protocol for your own use remember the Es: write for at least 15 minutes, on 4 separate days about the Event, your Emotions (at the time and now) and the Effects on your life.Though it can be an intense process to write expressively about something painful in our past, we also discuss the science of why it works to face these things head on. When we  bring the situation out of our subconscious through language, we can handle it with our whole mind, which helps our systems regulate and our spirits find peace. This episode is based on information from the Huberman Lab Podcast: A Science-Supported Journaling Protocol to Improve Mental and Physical Health 

When you are grieving the loss of a loved one, a dream, a job or a home, your brain enters an anticipatory state seeking resolution. This process requires neurological rewiring and is painful and chaotic. But, when we understand what grief is, we are also better able to move through it effectively, finding peace and hope. As humans we are united in our fragility, and all of us either have or will experience grief in our lives. Knowing a little bit about what grief is in our brains and bodies can prepare us for our own experiences, and help us love others well in theirs. This episode is largely based on information from the Huberman Lab: The Science and Process of Healing from Grief. 

Reframing is a powerful tool that allows us to expand our perspective and grow from our instinctual response to stimuli in order to create actions, thoughts and habits more in keeping with who we truly want to be. Our automatic response to a situation or season may not serve us or our futures very well, so we discuss 6 scenarios we are currently practicing reframing in our own lives. We talk about expansive gratitude, romanticizing our season of life, and  being generous with our love. We also answer questions like, "What to do with guilt,” and wonder what it would look like if we lived our daily routines as if we had begged to be here. 

It is increasingly easy in our culture to neglect our need and desire for rest - a break from all our striving to simply be in the moment, whether to enjoy what we are doing, process events and emotions or build relationships. But what the heck even is rest? Why is it so difficult for us to allow ourselves to rest? On this episode, Jessica and Michelle discuss all this, plus ways we can prioritize and sanctify rest, giving our minds and bodies the relief we need and crave. Plus, practical ways we are incorporating intentional rest into our lives this year. The book, "Why We Sleep" by Matthew Walker was mentioned, as well as this podcast episode featuring Jennifer Dukes Lee on Holy Hygge.  Michelle loves this episode of the BEMA podcast about the story behind the story of Creation and the command to rest. 

Michelle is joined by her sister, Georgia, to talk about how they incorporate the 5 Ss of Emotional Well-Being into our lives every day: Sunshine, Sweat, Sleep, Social and Synergy. We got these 5 Ss from this episode with Joy Bouchard. And if you want to hear more from Georgia Filler, you can here.  She recommended the Bryant Ferate Podcast which you can find here! 

Christmas Break can be a time of magic and memories, and also chaos, contention and disappointment. We asked our audience for questions on common Christmas Break issues and are answering questions about how to work through entitlement with kids, boredom when stuck inside for long periods of time, and why everyone feels the post-holiday blues (and some thoughts on how to change that).  We're putting our theories about prioritizing peace into practice and sharing tips on what to do during that lull between Christmas and New Year's. 

Entertaining can be such a focus of the holidays, but what if we shifted our focus to gathering. Gathering our loved ones together for the community we all crave. Our main goal is not to wow, but to give people a place to be loved. We’ve got simple ideas for inviting and delighting, plus no nonsense food ideas, too. This episode is partly inspired by an episode on Hospitality featuring Shauna Niequist. You can find it here!

We're applying our home organization method to the holidays - helping ourselves reflect on holidays past in order to set our intentions for the ones ahead, identifying sticking points and things we really want to recreate. Then, we're installing the system, making sure we make the big things the big things, so we know what we can say yes (and no) to. And of course, we're talking about beautifying our homes without getting buried under the clutter or buying everything advertised to us. Follow us on Instagram - @prettyoverperfect where we'll be sharing a few of our favorite low clutter or clutter-free gift ideas!Jessica recommends Your Minimal-ish Holidays by Desirae Enders. Michelle's favorite colored pencils for her kids, plus their favorite Crunch Labs subscription box. 

Today we're getting our homes organized before the chaos of the holidays sets in! We're re-evaluating sticking points in our homes, decluttering, sharing our favorite everyday storage solutions and thoughts on how to maintain the systems we have in place. And if a system isn't working, that means it's broken, not you! Join us as we make our homes a sanctuary of calm and joy for the coming months of cold.A few items mentioned in this episode:Some no-nonsense hooks for just about anywhere (entry way, closet, bathroom, mudroom, garage, etc.). Don't forget your wall anchors! An over-the-door organizer, for shoes and anything else you can think of. Michelle uses them for corralling seasonal gear (hats and gloves or sunscreen and goggles).  Food storage containers with one-size-fits-all lids! Plastic or GlassBranch Basics: one solution to create all the cleaning products you need! (Might seem kind of spendy, but it's replaced all Michelle's glass, kitchen and bathroom cleaners for the last 6+ months and saves a lot of hassle!)Foaming Handsoap Refill Tablets

Fall is here and whether you love or hate it, the changing of seasons invites us to pause, reflect and allow for rebirth. In this episode we discuss fall activities and Halloween plans, rain-proofing our hair and whether or not Travis Kelce is as big of a deal as Taylor Swift. 

It's been 100 episodes of Pretty Over Perfect and we're debriefing where we started, what we've learned and some of our favorite things we've picked up along the way! Thank you for being here with us - it means the world to share this journey with you!Just a  few  of our favorite episodes mentioned here:Home Design According to Your Energy TypeDressing Like the Protagonist of Your Own LifeOur Favorite Parenting BooksEmotional Wellness Habits with JoyBeing Thrifty and Industrious Just Like Our GrandmothersLet's Play!Constructive Conflict with Dennis McGreevy (Situation, Behavior, Impact Model)Episodes 1 and 2 of Building Happy Families Rituals of Repair and Reconnection with Steve WatersBooks we recommended here:The Blessings of a Skinned KneeHunt, Gather, Parent Bringing Up Bebe The Child Whisperer 

Fall is calling and with it, we're back in the kitchen (whether we want to be or not). This week we're talking all about meal planning for busy schedules, visualizing our needs and grocery lists for the week and assembling quick meals so our families can eat together and be satisfied. Jessica's favorites from this episode:White Chocolate Chip Cookie Butter CookiesMuddy BuddiesCafe Rio Sweet Pork RecipeCafe Rio Creamy Tomatillo RanchSheet Pan Greek NachosGreat Value Smoothie BlendsMichelle's favorites from this episode:Yumm Bowls with Cuban Black BeansGalaxy Cake Malted Chocolate Chip Cookies1 Hour Cinnamon Rolls (she makes them with 1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice and 2 tablespoons cinnamon in the filling)Reusable Grocery Bags 

Jessica's back and we're talking all our favorites: summer memories, go-to meals, outfits and mantras. Plus, things what we're letting go of, what (and who) is inspiring us and how to make the mornings go smoother.  We love the book The Lives We Actually Have: 100 Blessings for Imperfect Days by Kate Bowler and Jessica Richie. These are Jessica's favorite running shorts. Unfortunately, the linen pants she's been enjoying are all sold out!  Here's a podcast episode with Steve Martin that Michelle loved. And here's a black version of the jumpsuit she's loving. 

Everyone is handling some kind of big project right now, whether personal or professional, concrete or intangible. Michelle is joined by her husband, Steve, as they debrief a big development project they just tackled and share their takeaways for organizing projects of any kind. Michelle mentioned this podcast about how our projects define us Adam Grant and Brian Little, Steve mentioned the book The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter. And if you’d like to take a look at the cabins they’re talking about, you can at see pictures and choose your favorite them at backwoodscabins.com

Michelle is joined by her husband, Steve, today and they talk about rituals they’ve formed over the years to protect and enjoy their relationship through all kinds of seasons. 

We’re re-sharing this episode from last year all about how memories are made, how we can reframe experiences and why perfection is antithetical to happy memories! It’s always helpful to get reminders about what makes our lives truly good, especially when we have constant distractions trying to convince us we can buy or polish our ways into a good and meaningful life.