Leadership Is a Behavior

Leaders often say things like “I need my team to regulate their emotions” — especially when tone, professionalism, or reactivity become an issue.But what happens when leaders expect calm, restraint, and emotional control from others… while excusing urgency, short tone, or escalation in themselves?In this episode, we unpack why emotional regulation in teams is not created through rules, reminders, or corrective feedback — but through what leaders model under pressure.We explore:Why telling people to “watch their tone” or “be more professional” isn’t teaching a skillHow double standards around emotional regulation quietly erode trust and credibilityWhy replacement scripts help momentarily but fall apart when stress shows upWhat leaders often miss internally before their behavior shiftsWhy regulation is most visible in repair — not composureHow leaders lose authority when they talk about regulation without walking itThis conversation draws from behavior science, organizational psychology, and leadership research to explain how teams actually learn emotional norms — especially in high-pressure environments.If you supervise, manage, or lead people — particularly in helping professions — this episode will likely feel uncomfortably familiar and clarifying.🔔 COMING IN SPRING 2026In 2026, I’ll be bringing back continuing education events and workshops focused on exactly this kind of leadership work — the behavioral skills that shape tone, trust, feedback, power, and culture, but are rarely taught explicitly.There are no public dates yet, but content is actively being built and announcements are coming.To stay in the loop:Follow me on Instagram at The Blonde Behavior AnalystJoin the email list through our website for first access to:CE events and workshopsSupervision curriculums and workbooksExam prep resources and flashcardsNew tools, resources, and booksWe don’t send newsletters and we don’t spam. Emails go out only when something relevant is happening.🎧 Listen now and notice what’s being modeled when things get hard.

Have you ever made a decision at work that you knew was the right call, but instead of feeling relief, you felt anxious, unsettled, or stuck replaying it in your head?Many people assume that discomfort after a decision means something went wrong. That if the choice were truly aligned, it would feel calmer, clearer, or more confident. But that assumption quietly drives avoidance, second-guessing, and regret.In this episode of Leadership Is a Behavior, Jessica Zielske breaks down why discomfort often shows up after good decisions, not because you failed, but because the decision actually mattered.Drawing from behavior analysis and Acceptance and Commitment Training (ACT), including the work of Steven C. Hayes, this episode explores:Why humans misinterpret emotional discomfort as decision errorHow avoidance gets reinforced at work through short-term reliefThe difference between discomfort caused by avoidance and discomfort caused by alignmentWhy confidence is a feeling, but self-trust is behavioralHow people undo good decisions and why regret usually follows avoidance, not mistakesThis conversation applies to anyone whose decisions affect other people: supervisors, BCBAs, clinicians, managers, and professionals navigating responsibility without full control.If you’ve ever wondered why doing the right thing can still feel heavy, this episode offers a new lens for understanding discomfort, restoring self-trust, and staying connected to your decisions over time.

This episode marks my return to podcasting in a behavior analytic way after having three babies in two years. On this episode, I’m sharing the real behavioral science behind why I stepped back, and what’s coming next. Through the lens of competing values, reinforcement patterns, identity shifts, and leadership behavior, we’re exploring what happens when two equally important values pull us in opposite directions and how that shapes our actions as behavior analysts.Whether you’ve experienced burnout, decision paralysis, or internal conflict in your role, this episode brings clarity, context, and compassion.Leadership is a behavior, and this new chapter starts now.

In chatting with a Behavior Specialist, and learning about their experience with Discrete Trial Training, we discussed the importance of generalization. In this episode, I review what generalization is, the purpose of it, and what strategies we can use to promote this when teaching. Some of this content is pulled straight from The Curriculum for Behavior Analysts, a supervision curriculum we designed to help ABA professionals in every stage of their journey. Check it out at thecurriculumforbehavioranalysts.com

What does the research say regarding job satisfaction in the Behavior Analysis field? Is this actually helpful? What is job crafting? What can we consider doing if the variables in our work environment are not within our control to modify? Joined by Lindsey Turner MS, BCBA, LBA who partners with Jessica Zielske MA, MA, BCBA in running Atlanta Behavior Academy's Monthly mentorship groups for CEs!

Join us for some morning coffee as we review what "defusion" is, the ways I have practiced this skill, and strategies to help you teach this to others.  PROMO CODE for an upcoming CEU "KILLER DATA  - Exploring Serial Murder Research through a Behavior Analytic Lense" - Use code KILLERDATA10 at checkout! 

I was struck by inspiration today based on how our team navigated a tricky situation while holding true to our company values.  #proudofyou

Just coming across us for the first time? Or have you been wondering what rabbit hole we fell into to for almost a year?  Either way, we're back, and we want to re-introduce ourselves and catch you up on we've been up to, how we have grown, and what you can expect from us going forward.   (Cue song: "Reunited and it feels so good".)

I am joined by Mackenzie Quinn M.Ed, RBT. She openly shares her multi-test taking experience and her professional journey into the field of Behavior Analysis, focusing on what she "wish she knew then". With a Masters from Arizona State University, and her supervision hours complete, she shares her experiences when working directly with clients in the field with on-site BCBA supervisors, her experiences as a multiple test taker, and her tips for maintaining a resilient and optimistic mindset when life turned out differently than how she planned.

Join me for my brain dump on balancing knowing a science, being curious about human behavior, and figuring out how to balance believing in things we can’t see. Maybe constant doubt is okay? And maybe we can just ride the identity journey instead of trying to solidify who we are and keep it that way forever. Maybe we can let ourselves evolve, and practice that psychological flexibility. Maybe if who we are changes over time thats something to embrace and celebrate?  Book referenced in the episode: "Faith After Doubt"  - Brian D. Mclaren

College Athletes, Entrepreneurs, Pelotoners, BCBAs who learned from non-examples, ACT enthusiasts to help us heal from past traumas... The list is endless of what Crystal Wissinger and I have in common. Today we talked about these commonalities, our stories, lessons learned, and advice for anyone who listens. Join us.  Connect with Crystal:  IG: imagine_wellness4u and bxchange_motivation Website: http://www.imaginewellnessllc.com/our-founder.html

What are our views around stress? Do we expect ourselves to exist without it? Are we putting our hope in good glasses of wine, bubble baths, and pedicures to help solve our lifelong stress? Are they actually helping? This episode is a quick sneak peek into an upcoming CEU webinar I am hosting with Gabbie Lanier, who is also a Board Certified Behavior Analyst and is equally passionate about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. The webinar is Monday, March 22nd at 7pm EST. Connect with me on Instagram for a registration link, we really hope you’ll join us.

Trauma, Stress, Shame, Guilt, Self-Awareness, Relational Frames, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and the mental construct of "race".... I could talk to this inspiring human FOREVER.... Chinwe is someone who not only do I admire but holds a special place in my heart for many reasons. I am thankful to have been able to spend some time with her in a way that allows me to share her brain and her heart with you. Be sure to follow her on Instagram @dr.chinwewilliams, and follow the link in her bio to learn more about her upcoming Racial Trauma course, and her new book for parents on helping kids and teens with anxiety and despair.  Chinwe is a gem. Connect with her. 

An unexpected crisis with 2 BCBAs...their story, reflections, and applications of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to real world messes.

A teachers love/hate relationship with Discrete Trial Teaching and how we can program for generalization to ensure our teaching is helping new skills and behaviors travel as far as they can go. 

Today's casual chat... How can we use Behavior Analysis to think bigger, and view systemic issues in organizations differently? Dream big. Don't stop. 

Kylen Sherrod M.Ed BCBA passed her BCBA exam the first time in January of 2021 after we wrapped up supervision hours and exam prep together. Here's some info on her professional journey, why she chose Behavior Analysis for her career, and what we did to help her pass the exam the first time. Check her out on Instagram @theradbehavioranalyst

After a recent training for a couple public school districts, I was inspired to share my thoughts on what to do in situations when we striggle with getting "buy in" from the people we are supporting or training. Here are my experiences. 

My overview of what I see Behavior Analysis is, and my rocky road to Entrepreneurship. 

Who's running this podcast?  What's the vibe going to be like?