Commitment Phobe

In this deeply moving episode, join us on an intimate journey with the resilient and inspiring Luis Molinar as he shares his story from being depressed and suicidal to finding his purpose and living a heart-led life. Luis found himself getting seperated from a long-time partner, burned out, struggling emotionally until he hit a rock bottom that forced him to face his inner demons, unfelt emotions and lack of self-love. "Life is about getting back on the horse."- Luis Tune in to listen to how Luis rose from the depths of hitting rock bottom to embrace a life filled with faith and an open heart. Luis opens up about the challenges that tested his spirit and the transformative moments that led him to a path of profound positivity. "It's ok to experience sadness and pain but we also have the choice of stepping out of that. It's there, we want to experience it, learn from it, but we don't want it to become part of our personality."  Topics we share: -How burning out helps us align ourselves with our truth and let go of what's out of alignment. -How listening to your body helps you align with your truth.-How death helps create a sense of urgency to live out a life of purpose. -Life is about "choosing your hard." -How we meet the universe halfway by taking action towards our dreams and allowing the universe to show us the way. -What happens when we move from doing things by obligation to do them out of desire.

Ever feel like even when you're surrounded by people, you feel alone, or like your conversations are so shallow they end up draining you? My guest Ryel Kestano is the co-founder of an organization I have been involved with in the past two years and DEEPLY impacted by called ART-Authentic Relating Training.  At its simplest, authentic relating is a groundbreaking relational practice that creates profoundly enriching, enlivening, and nourishing relationships in all social domains of life, from the bedroom to the boardroom, with intimate partners and perfect strangers and everyone in between.  For me, it's been a gamechanger in how raw and authentic I let myself show up in my interactions on dates, with friends and with my parents. Ryel comes on to share why he devoted himself to this work and how it can impact the level of depth and intimacy you can experience in your relationships, from closed ones to strangers to even people you're in conflict with.  "Authentic relating has been called relational meditation, where the object of our meditational presence is relational space itself, which really brings us into presence, and presence, really being in the here and now, is where we experience connection, the deepest sense of being seen, seeing another, and partly the reason why that is, is because when we're really committed to the here and now we can't rely on programs and conditioning that we so often lean on as a crutch in our conversations."  Ryel is now offering an online 4 week course called "The Art of Authentic Dating." Shoot him a message on IG to get more info! https://www.instagram.com/ryelkestano/  

An update episode on recent breakthroughs in my dating and how I navigated a situation where I really liked the guy but we weren't looking for the same things. We've all been there...you like this person but you're not looking for the same things.  Sometimes you disregard that and enjoy connecting with them. Sometimes you hope things will change...sometimes, they do! Most of the time they don't, but you learn something anyway. On this episode I talk about how to honor yourself and your truth while accepting the other's truth. 

Most people think of kink and they imagine scary, extreme, torture-filled, sexual interactions.  I wanted to bring someone on to talk about the love and medicine that can actually be present in kink and how it's way less intimidating than most people imagine...because it's actually be a really playful, transformative journey with the right people, setting and structure! My guest Yossef Sagi, a Sex and Magick Educator, had the same negative connotations to kink and couldn't possibly imagine it resonating with him. Until an experience made him realize that it wasn't only powerful, it was a modality that he could use to combine all of his skills and passions and faciliate deep healing and shadow work.  Yossef comes on to give us the 101 on conscious kink and the many ways he infuses it into his coaching practice to help people heal from trauma, express lost and repressed parts of themselves, love themselves more, and deepen intimacy in relationships.   Tune in to get all your basic questions answered about kink and what it means to engage in kink in a conscious way! We cover: power dynamics,objectification, pain, taboo and how Yossef uses each one for specific people's needs in what they want to heal or experience.  Other things we talk about: -Whether you should hire a proffesional dom -The importance of consent and how it creates safety and freedom -The difference between roles in kink -How kink scenes create a metaphor for life -Lots of tips if you want to start diving into kink! 

Geraldine and Mike met only for a few days before Mike went off to live in a monastery for 6 months acorss the country. It was like the universe was playing a game on them as they had a deep connection right before being apart for half of a year, and they decided to play. I brought these wonderful humans on to talk about what helped them thrive through long distance and general practical and spiritual practices that help them foster the deep intimacy and connection they share today.  Some topics we cover: -A play-by-play of how they met and how their relationship evolved through and post long distance. -What it looks like for them to be totally themselves and in acceptance of the other. -How they welcome what arises between them and create a safe space for their emotions.  -What it means to meet someone like a stranger every day and how that helps their connection. -What it looks like for them to play on the same team.  -What they've each learned about themselves through their relationship.  This episode will leave you feeling like your heart is bursting with love :)  To connect with Geraldine and Mike find them here: Mike: https://www.instagram.com/mike_alicea/ Geraldine: https://www.instagram.com/geraldinez.amor/ Geraldine is a Somatic Sex Coach that helps women deepen their experience of profound intimacy and pleasure.   

"Masculinity is not toxic, masculinity is medicine." Behind many of the challenges men and women have in relating, is the  judgment and rejection they have towards the opposite gender.  My guest Mikaal Bates is a men's coach who's dedicated to accelerating the conscious evolution of men and masculiity across the planet in our lifetime, and to heal the divine between men and women.  On this episode Mikaal comes on to talk about how we need to start celebrating and pursuing healthy masculinity, and end the internal and external battle between men and women to have deeper, more loving and connected relationships between humans, communities and nations.  Tune in to be inspired by Mikaal's passion about the brillance and shadows of men that he believes is the key of bettering not just men, but women too!  To connect with Mikaal you can check out with podcast The ReMasculation Podcast:  https://open.spotify.com/show/1xjEKsfxJvLnvXShooTYco?si=d7d93314c1464487 His Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mikaal_bates/    

My guest today Caitlin Lili helps women & couples communicate vulnerably so they can experience deeper connection and hotter sex. Today we talk about: -Oftenttimes what gets in the way for a woman to be available for love with a man, is her hatred towards men.    -Caitlin's journey transforming her disruptive communication style in relationships and how that drastically changed her dating patterns and the men she was attracting.  -How to communicate your needs and desires from a place that fosters connection vs. seperation.  -How to "hold uncomfortable sensations" instead of defaulting to our trauma responses in relationships.   Connect with Caitlin and find out about her upcoming programs here: https://www.instagram.com/iamcaitlinlili/

Welcome back to Commitment Phobe!  This year I am continuing to level up the game with episodes that will provide you with rich content, incredible guests and stories on how to deepen and heal the intimacy and connection in all of your relationships in your life.  With that in mind I had to bring on an old friend Spencer Jacobson, who's currently leading events around the world called Dance Meets Tantra, where they combine conscious dance, tantra, contact improvisation and kink. Spencer and his team are committed to creating spaces where people can feel truly safe to strip themselves bare, leave behind everything that no longer serves, and to step into the most powerful and loving version of themselves.  I knew he'd be a great person to talk to about intimacy! Ever think to yourself about how hard it is to follow the advice to "just be yourself?" What if feeling safe and authentic in relationships was something you could actually faciliate and enable with the right tools and structure?  Spencer comes on to share tools and stories about how to actually create spaces in groups or personal relationships where you and others can feel free to be themselves and feel deeply seen and safe.  Some of the questions we touch on: -What does it actually mean to create safety in relationships? -How can we practically create more permission for authenticity? -Why is it important for us to connect to our feelings, especially anger, in relationships? -How do we take care of our nervous systems in relationshisp when we tend to bypass? -What does it mean to have self-responsibility in relationship and why is that important? -What are some ways we can be authentic with others vs. playing the role we think we need to play?   Find more info about Dance Meets Tantra here! https://www.dancemeetstantra.com/ Spencer also leads a 6 month mentorship, mastermind, and brotherhood journey for men that you can check out here: https://emergence.love/ Connect with Spencer on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/spencerjacobson_/?hl=en  

The podcast is undergoing some revamping as I'm getting it ready for next year but I wanted to end the year off sharing some of the lessons I've learned in love and relationships this year and how it's been deeply transforming who I am! 

What are you dying to hear more about? From who?  What's going on in your life? I want to hear!!! My e-mail: tanai.milgram@gmail.com

We accept the love we think we deserve. A statement like that is powerful, AND it's important to keep in mind that we don't have to beat ourselves up for what we accept, experience, tolerate and live in our relationships. Mary Haberski, a tarot reader and spiritual guide, comes on to talk about how we can view relationships as tools and mirrors for self-love and personal growth. Mary is passionate about helping people view their relationships as evolutionary tools from a compassionate lens. There is a difference between what we want in relationship and what we actually attract or what feels safe to us in relationship, and looking at our patterns in dating can be useful to understand the difference, and how to close that gap. Tune in to listen to Mary and I talk about how we can approach our relationships with more consciousness and less morality to feel more fulfilled and loved in our connections with others.  I met Mary through her CDMX WhatsApp group where she brings together hundreds of people to connect through conscious events and spiritual services. Her tarot readings are absolutely magical and supportive to anyone looking to bring more depth and understanding to their current life situation and view things from a more empowered viewpoint.  To contact Mary: https://maryhaberski.com https://www.tiktok.com/@tarotwitatwist?_t=8e4gMSRivif&_r=1 https://instagram.com/yogasurflove?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ== Book a tarot reading and mention this podcast to get 11% off!

For years now, I have been telling the story of how over the past decade, I've chipped away at my intimacy fears and have become more and more available for deep connection, commitment and vulnerability.  I always tell the same story: I start liking someone, they start liking me back, I freak out, I leave. But the truth is that I don't have avoidant tendencies, I have anxious-avoidant tendencies, many times I first freak out about percieving their distance or distinterest, and THEN I freak out about percieving their closeness.  You can imagine how confusing it was my whole life. I've decided to come on here to share about what it's been like, because I know there are lots of people out there who have felt the same, and it's always healing to reveal and talk about it!

Public speaking is among the most common phobias people have. What if I choke? Will people find me interesting? Will I look stupid? How can I hide my anxiety? My guest today, Eduardo Placer, dedicates his life to helping people transform and claim their power through speaking their truth in front of an audience through his public speaking coaching company Fearless Communicators. I had the pleasure of taking one of their week-long trainings coming in THINKING I was just coming in to learn how to tell a story, and I learned SO much more about my power, my fears, and my purpose.  Tune in to listen to us talk about authenticity, the impact of masoginy on gay men, the cultural pressures of fitting in, and Eduardo's personal transformation through storytelling.  We talk about: -Eduardo's thoughts on perfectionism and some of the ways he made peace with it as a "recovering perfectionist." - How he believes we can alchemically shift our relationship to our speaking to become powerful communicators. -Eduardo's childhood experiences being a gay child in a machista environment.  -Eduardo's journey from seeking to comfort by fixing himself to being authentic.  -How storytelling helps you feel empowered in relation to your past trauma. -We dissect the word confidence and it's deep relationship to trust.  -How popularity is it's own curse and isn't actually the social "end all be all." Today's guest, Eduardo Placer, is the founder of Fearless Communicators a public speaking coaching company that teaches communicators how to bring their whole BODY, MIND, HEART and SPIRIT to a moment and channel their message in service of an audience.    Originally from Miami, FL, he is proud son and grandson of immigrants who fled both fascism in Spain and communism in Cuba. Prior to starting Fearless Communicators®, he was a professional actor for over 15 years, performing in over 35 plays and musicals throughout the United States. Eduardo has an acute condition called SHOWTUNITIS where he breaks out into spontaneous song and dance. Eduardo has a BA in English from the University of Pennsylvania and MFA in Acting from the University of California, San Diego. Check out the Fearless Communicators trainings at: https://www.fearlesscommunicators.com/

On today's episode I bring on a friend and inspiration, Nasya Miller to talk about friendships. Nasya comes on to ring the alarm on why we should be focusing a lot more on the health and thrivingness of our friendships in a world full of romance and dating advice, coaches, therapists, tv shows and books. The same challenges show up in our friendships, and with the loneliness epidemic we are experiencing, a big contributor is that we're not focusing on meeting those challenges and creating the friendships we desire. What does it take to belong and feel happy in our friendships? Nasya believes than upleveling your life entails upleveling your existing and new friendships. Listen to this episode and you will leave feeling inspired to take inventory of the relationships in your life and consider how you can feel more connected or satisfied in them!  Topics we cover: Belonging, what does it mean to belong? How do we own our belonging? What does it look like in our relationships? Why are so many people feeling dissatisfied with their adult friendships?  Simple tools to feel more nourished in your friendships and create friendships that don't drain you. Nasya's personal story with belonging and how she uplevels who she is and what she recieves from her friendships today. How to make friends as an adult. How to break-up friendships in a way that feels good. How to deal with the resistance of a break-up and make peace with the longevity of your friendships.  Why we sometimes avoid honesty in friendships more than in our romantic relationships. Getting clear on expectations in your friendships and making space for what someone is available for. and sooo much more juicy stories and tips! "The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives." Nasya Miller is a coach that helps communities, pairs and individuals have thriving and aligned relationships in their personal and proffesional lives. She’s an international facilitator, educator and certified Relationship Systems and Mindset Coach. https://www.instagram.com/nasya.miller/

A couple of months ago I had the pleasure of connecting with a beautiful soul Roni Makatu and we got to share less than a week together, but in that short time we created a deep, intimate connection that was lovely and through it, I got to learn a lot about myself. SO, I felt like sharing him with all my listeners! Makatu is the Cofounder and CEO of a dating app called Lua.earth an emerging dating app for the conscious community.  Sharing his love through music, dance, sacred ceremonies, and transformative events, he creates spaces for people to connect and manifest magic in. He's also the producer of various festivals (such as ISTA Israel, ISTA online, Dance Temple, Ecstatic Festival.) Tune in to listen to us talk about our connection, some of our takeaways from our time togethr and what he sees is needed in the dating world right now, which inspired him to create the Lua app! Check out Lua at: https://www.lua.earth/

What does it take to really change your life? What does it take to make it extraordinary? For Alex Terranova, changing your life not only takes knowing what you want, but also committing to it FULLY and BEING the person that's aligned with that new life. Today, Alex comes on to talk about what commitment really means, and how it's different from amateur commitment, or wanting something but not aligning who you ARE to what you want. Alex had a solid job, a busy social life and an active dating life, everything he thought he needed to be happy and succesful, then why wasn't he happy? One day someone asked him what he's grateful for, and he couldn't come up with an answer. That's the moment he decided to radically change his life and how he showed up in it.  Formerly an asshole who couldn't commit, Alex is now a men's coach in a thriving marriage, all a life he created by deciding to commit to being the kind of man that has that life. Alex now helps men alchemize their lives and from ordinary and "good," to extraordinary and fulfilling! Tune in to learn more about Alex's journey and his thoughts and tips for those of you that are ready to transform your lives and stop accepting a life that doesn't make you happy.  Alex Terranova is a Leadership & Executive Coach, Performance & Success Alchemist, Professional Certified Coach (PCC), Author, International Speaker, and Retreat Leader. He's been dubbed “The Anti-Excuses Coach” by Yahoo Finance, named 40 over 40 in podcasting by Podcast Magazine & is the Co-Creator of The Alchemy of Men Retreats and Men's Groups and Your Love Adventure, an innovative, fun, & adventurous new take on dating. He's widely known as the docile tones behind hundreds of podcasts and sometimes refers to himself as a Recovering Asshole. Connect with Alex: https://www.instagram.com/inspirationalalex/  msha.ke/thedreammason  

On today's episode I invited Karim Yussif, my Taosit doctor whom I've been working for the past 5 months through acupunture, energy work and massage. After 7 years of working with practinioners on healing me heal from chronic back back, pelvic and stomach pain and seeing no resolution, I've been in shock with the progress I've had in our work. Karim has been supporting me in healing digestive system, blood circulation and releasing muscle tightness. How this applies to this podcast, is that by healing my body and working with the emotional centers, I've in turn had massive healing and transformation in my intimate relationships and relationships with men.  How??? Tune in to learn from Karim the connection between our body, our emotions, our destiny, and the situations and relationships we create in our lives. More and more in the wellness and mental health spaces, the awareness of our body's wisdom and the importance of listening to our body has become a hot topic. Psychologists and medical practitioners are recognizing the mind-body connection and seeing mental and physical healing as integrative and holistic. However, this isn't news. Ancient philosophies such as Chinese medicine have recognized the connection of the mind, the body and soul for thousands of years. Tune in to hear all about: -Karim's story that brought him to work with Taoist medicine. - How does your life show up in your body? How does your body impact your relationships and intimacy? -The connection between your body and your spirit/soul. -How different parts of our body connect to different emotions. -Does the body really never lie and is it totally reliable to listen to our bodies? -The importance of our blood flow. -How long should we "be in our feelings" and what is the purpose of our emotions and feelings? -Why my experiences in acupunture have been akin to having a breakthrough with psychedelics or holotropic breathwork. -A very logical explanation to how our birthdate affects our personalities.  and so much more!

I love having guests come on and share the powerful ways of being and practices that help create authentic and loving connection in a relationship. This is why I invited Jonathan Hermida to come share about his conscious partnership! If you met Jonathan Hermida as a bachelor, you would've never imagined that he'd eventually create a beautiful, thriving conscious partnership/marriage. Jonathan grew up within a very toxic masculine container, doing whatever he wanted without regard to how it'd affect others and finding his insatiable sense of self-worth in how much attention he was getting from women. In this very juicy episode Jonathan comes on to tell us how he went on an inward, self-discovery journey to heal his own insecurities and trauma and transform who he was in his life and in his relationships.  Some of the topics we touch on: -What the flow of masculine and femine energy looks like in his relationship and why that polarity is so important. -What he learned about the most important ingredients for a thriving relationship from his own experience and the couples he's interviewed for his company Capsul. -Jonathan's thoughts on men's needs to receive and have a space to be in their feminine.  -The divine way in which he met his partner and how he pursued her despite her resistance! -How to communicate needs in a relationship from a place of collaboration vs. competition.  -The patterns that are responsible for most breakups. -What Jonathan means by, "the result of getting out of our own way is harmony." And so much more! Jonathan is a Miami born entrepreneur and master coach who has dedicated his life and career to connecting humans: to themselves, to others, and to life. Jonathan is also a mindfulness teacher, world-traveller, life long athlete, and most importantly, a devoted husband and father.  He is currently growing a company he co-founded called Capsul as CEO. From Capsul: Capsul enables families to capture, preserve and share your most cherished memories, from your kids to your grandparents, though intimate, guided, and immersive storytelling enhanced by emerging technologies.  Our vision is to revolutionize the way families connect and share their memories becoming the go-to platform for family communication and memory preservation in the world.  Check it out here!   https://yourcapsul.com/about-us/ Connect with Jonathan: https://www.instagram.com/jonathanhermida_/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/jonathan-hermida/  

Today my guest is a past client and incredibly talented tattoo artist and entrepreneur Chloe Besson who joins me today to tell her story on the breakthroughs she's had around people pleasing and why telling the truth has been such an integral part of it. Chloe and I started working together just as she was leaving a 4 year relationship where she lost herself, and through our work together and her work with other coaches, therapists and AA, she realized how scared she was to tell people the truth and risk losing their love. Join us to hear the steps she took in living a more authentic life by: - Setting boundaries and saying "no" in places that were draining her energy. - Cutting out the mechanisms she was using to numb herself and her discomfort, like drinking. - Learning how to prioritize herself and the unconventional ways she likes to live her life. - Realizing she can't possibly make all her followers and clients happy, and instead choosing her own happiness. - Speaking up for what she believes in and making choices in her business that FELT right for her.  

On today's episode I share my own experience on breaking my pattern of always thinking about where I'll meet the one and how upsetting it was that I was single.  How was it possible that I was so happy with my life yet my thoughts always went back to-"why am I single?" and "I'm never going to meet someone" or, "I don't deserve to meet someone." I got curious around where these questions were coming from. Did I really desire/need someone or was it coming from a deeper place, the part of me that hadn't felt chosen since I was a little girl?  Tune in to listen to how I started relating to that part differently in order to experience more presence in my life and my relationship to dating and men.