Piloting Error

We could have watched a probably cooler show about teeny tiny police officers, but instead we watched a dumb sitcom about what women think and feel. Of coarse, no one bothered to consult any women about what they think and feel, and it's pretty obvious. Plus all the hot bidet takes you can stand! Joining us is author of multiple books including the new EXCRMNTMNTN, Andrew Hilbert (https://perpetualpublishing.com/2023/03/07/xcrmntmntn-a-body-horror-novella-about-art-and-poop-is-out-now-through-ghoulish-books/) and editor-in-chief of Perpetual Motion Machine Publishing and the assistant editor of Dark Moon Digest and proprietor of Ghoulish Books Bookstore, Max Booth (https://www.instagram.com/ghoulishbookstore/)

Have you ever seen the movie Heat? Did you know that it was once a failed TV Pilot. Well, not Heat but a show called LA Crimewave... or is it Made in LA... or just Crimewave?... I don't know... We watched something called LA Takedown from 1988 that seems eerily like Heat, but with a TV Budget, and more late 80s tropes than you can shove into a freshly laundered tan suit. Joining us on this poorly executed heist, from the Pumpkin Spice Podcast (https://open.spotify.com/show/3ZAQrXbbyTyzMUgrh2PRfx), it's Rob and Graham. There is only one way this can end, and it's not sitting on a tarmac holding hands.

In our second outing into gene Roddenberry failed tv projects we journey to 2133 to stroll around the futuristic community colleges of  Tuscon Arizona, watch people fight over a human popsicle in the horniest ways possible, and then they wave around bejeweled sex toys in a futile attempt to enslave Ted Cassidy and his wig wearing friends. Joining us to admire these breath taking matte paintings, from the improv duo Kenny/Roger (https://linktr.ee/kennyrogersimprov) it’s Kenny Madison(https://www.trekwarspod.com/) and Heidi Rogers. Did we mention there is an extremely cool cave train!

Things are getting super spooky but also super horny on the podcast this episode, as we watch a 1993 pilot starring national treasure, Elvira. Unfortunately it doesn't live up to her movie, but we were dying laughing anyway. We also welcome horror and Elvira expert Miguel Myers from My Horror Confessional (https://allmylinks.com/myhorrorconfessional) and we all three learn the true manifestation of evil: sassy talking animals.   

Sometimes when we are reviewing pilots we stumble on fake pilots. Things that are listed as pilots on the internet and then they turn out to be Cinemax Comedy Experiments. What do you do? Do you stay true to to the format that you've chosen, no of coarse who the hell cares! Especially when we are talking about Chris Elliot, and the thing is absolutely the most incredible inventive hilarious over the top masterpiece ever made! Sometimes he's a hard-boiled detective, and sometimes he's a wacky sitcom dad, and you can tell based on the film quality. We loved every minute of it! So much so that we want to bring it to the attention of our listeners again! Dominic and Breyanne join us as we rewatch the greatest father son fist fight involving a hot dog of all time! From 1986, it's Action Family!

Have you ever said to yourself, "There is too much violence and fantasy in this super hero show. I want to see them just be old, and sit around, and wallow in failure." Good news is, Unbeleiveables is for you! Bad news is, there is only one episode, it's 23 minutes long, and there is next to no information about it anywhere. Don't worry! Triple Dipper Jason(https://www.instagram.com/jason_chapman_b/) is here again to help us figure out how they could possibly screw up a pairing like Steve Carell and Tim Curry? It's not funny! Also Corbin Bernsen is here too... and Mike Starr! Yeah... he plays a washed up super hero named poet... his power is that he can't stop rhyming. What the hell was going on in 1999? Badly Drawn Hamster, call us! https://comedytowatch.wordpress.com/2018/12/19/one-and-done-the-unbelievables/

You know Blazing Saddles, that really funny movie that uses a quintessentially American genre, the Western, to point out the dark hypocrisies of America itself? Well, we watched the 1972 pilot spin off Black Bart where they ignored all of that and just focused on normalizing racist humor. That doesn't mean we aren't going to laugh at stupid drunken confederates... Joining us is noted Dukes of Hazzard expert, and co-host of the Bill and Robs an Excellent Adventure Podcast, Bill Tilly! It's a fun adventure into DVD extra content, and experiments in saying the the N word on prime-time television. Remember the scene where all the cowboys are farting? hilarious!

We could have watched a show about teeny tiny police officers, but being dumb men trapped in a hell of our own design, we watched a 1986 show about how women think and feel. Of coarse, no one bothered to consult any women about what they think and feel, and it's pretty obvious. Joining us is author of multiple books including the new EXCRMNTMNTN, Andrew Hilbert (https://perpetualpublishing.com/2023/03/07/xcrmntmntn-a-body-horror-novella-about-art-and-poop-is-out-now-through-ghoulish-books/) and editor-in-chief of Perpetual Motion Machine Publishing and the assistant editor of Dark Moon Digest and proprietor of Ghoulish Books Bookstore, Max Booth (https://www.instagram.com/ghoulishbookstore/) Plus we try to unravel the possibly Mandela Effected Street Sharks, a special visitor brings us unending wealth, and all the hot bidet takes your butt can stand! So many butts in this episode...

Part imaginary, part hallucination all... quixotic? No, but he is confusing. It's Creating Rem Lezar a Pilot (in our loose definition anyway) about a super hero with no clear powers who convinces children to build him by invading their minds and forcing them to draw infinity symbols and yell at adults. Oh and they sing, alot, like the whole time. It's insanity on whole new level for us, and the only people we could force to watch it with us is our wives, Cheryl and Breyanne. Will our marriages survive? Listen and find out!

In this episode we experiment with puppet therapy to unlock hidden memories of mouth men and the secrets they keep. It's July 3, 1987 and the CBS Summer Playhouse is confusing children about a show that will never exist. Jim Henson and Fred Newman team up to teach us about no fault divorce with a strange pilot involving a man torn between his love for dragon puppets and force feeding his son cheese. Joining us are Cathy and Brian from the Reality Issues podcast! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/reality-issues/id1614710848

In a world so edgey every other shot is a dutch angle, a group of handsome well dressed youths will some how have to overcome the cramped quarters of a palatial mansion and defeat Matt Frewer, an evil marketeer intent on stealing their brains so he can rule the dream dimension. Joining us via collect call are Bill and Robs from Bill and Robs An Excellent Adventure https://anchor.fm/billandrobs and together we attempt to unravel the mysteries of this 1996 mid week programming filler.    

Oh BOY! Exactly what you wanted for Christmas, a rerun of your new favorite episode of your least favorite podcast! Cool! We are heading back to Tattertown, an extremely confusing animated story about a tyrannical little girl who wants to force religion on literal trash, and that's not even the weirdest part. It's the very first Nicktoon and created by Ralph Bakshi, the father of modern cartooning. We will be back in January with all new episodes!

So it's come this, a Piloting Error clip show? No, not quite, but close. We talk out of asses so much we actually have to dedicate entire episodes to correcting ourselves. We also find time to host an award show complete with slapping, and Native American protestors. Two years, and 20 episodes later, we have yet to put a dent in abandoned TV pilots that were uploaded to the internet. 

Oh boy! What a sopping wet pilot this is. We spend way too much time with three sisters/mermaids as they avenge the death of their father, at the hands of a bizarre fisherman who uses explosives to fish in this 2003 annoyance. Who would have thought there were so many mer-rules?! And we break all of them, except the one about nipples on television. You can't even do that in Australia.    

In our hoboiest episode yet, your humble podcast hosts of meager means set out on a journey across the US by riding the rails to visit Big city ROB (robkschulte.com) in California and learn of his big city podcast ways. Then on to Bel Air where news has it Hobos have inherited the entire wealth and estate of a possibly confused but definitely deceased multi-millionaire. The neighborhood, or at least one annoying person who basically lives on the same property, are upset about where this is all going. Are there really no more than 1 episodes worth of hobo jokes? We find out when we watch this 1983 waste of server space.  

You know what, fuck it! Let's just talk about Star Trek for two hours. Why else would we drudge up this Gene Roddenberry 1974 slog of a pilot about an android searching for his creator? Every single interesting idea has been extracted and put to better use some where else. Yet we go boldly where many have gone before!  Also we welcome special guest ED from the Bro Trek Podcast! https://anchor.fm/bro-trek

Strange things are done in the midnight sun, but this isn't one of them, in fact it couldn't get more boiler plate and bland than John Denver flying his plane in fake Alaska. And yet, some how, we got lost in his little Dutch Boy turned Golden Retriever charm, as we roamed through the spruce stands, and dined on Oranges, moose burgers, and lamb stew, while he lulls us into submission with songs about nature and stuff. It's 1988, he's flying planes, performing search and rescue operations, and helping the local constabulary, Sheriff John Rhys-Davies, enforce draconian prohibition, and probably getting ready to move-in on his dead best friends widow! What more could you ask for? I guess a lot since this is all we got.

In our first international episode, we visit 1997 BBC Four to admire the commercials of Great Britain, while occasionally also talking about an Eddie Izzard penned atrocity that asks the moosical question: "What if some uppity cows started asserting basic human rights?" Fear not, the natural social Darwinian order will eventually put them back in their place. It's a terrible lesson in British politics, and one we learned the hard way, by watching one of the worst pieces of garbage any of us has ever had to sit through... multiple times.

It's a good old fashion Piloting Error Christmas when we watch the very first Nicktoon, and struggle to make sense of a collage of ideas that could only have come from the father of modern animation himself Ralph Bakshi, in this 1988 manic mess. Join us as we learn the true meaning of Christmas: appealing to the vanity of elderly Jewish shop keepers, so they will wear wreaths on their faces.

In this extra spooky Halloween special we travel back to the hay day of steampunk, 2012, and watch an abominable Munsters reboot made by two Bryans, and recoil at the sight of Eddie Izzard's old age make-up.