True Crimes Against Wine

DEFENDANT: Everybody Loves Raymond EVIDENCE: Raymond Cellars Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon  SCENE OF THE CRIME: Long Island -- Hey friend — grab a glass and get comfy. In this episode of True Crimes Against Wine we swap the usual table wine for a lush, decanted Raymond Sellers Cabernet Sauvignon (yes, the reserve — velvety label, 14.5% sass included) and spend the episode pairing big-flavor wine notes with bigger TV drama: the sitcom Everybody Loves Raymond. We talk vineyard history (Napa’s underdog moment and the Bottle Shock story), decanting tips, and the gorgeous, peppery, black-cherry notes of this super-balanced Cab that the hosts absolutely adore. Then the banter turns to the Barone family: the show’s charm, its most cringe-worthy tropes (the “incompetent husband” bit and how sitcom conventions can sneak into real life), and the cast’s standout performances — from Marie’s manipulative, loving energy to Frank’s grumpy heart and Robert’s deadpan magic. Expect hot takes on Patricia Heaton’s real-life politics, behind-the-scenes casting quirks, and hilarious anecdotes about auditions, auditions-day moods, and even celebrity soap-opera moments (yes, there’s an SVU crossover mention). We laugh, we judge, we get nostalgic about laugh tracks and sitcom dinners (IHOP, anyone?), and ultimately try to render a verdict: is Everybody Loves Raymond guilty of reinforcing tired gender tropes, or just a cozy, flawed classic? Pour yourself something good and listen in — we’ll make you feel like you’re on the couch with us, wine in hand, ready to gossip.

DEFENDANT: The Hero of Time EVIDENCE: Siren Song Merlot/Syrah blend SCENE OF THE CRIME: Hyrule -- Hey friend — pop a cork and get comfy. In this episode of True Crime Against Wine we pivoted (blame the internet and a mis-shipped bottle) and ended up sipping a lush Merlot-Syrah blend from Siren Song while getting delightfully nerdy about The Legend of Zelda. Expect giggles, throwback gaming stories, and super honest wine notes — think plush blackberries, juicy plum, and a grown-up juice-box vibe that’s dangerously drinkable. We dive into Zelda’s origins (shoutout to Miyamoto and Tezuka), reminisce about Ocarina of Time demos at the mall, and debate favorite entries like Wind Waker and Breath of the Wild. There’s talk about iconic villains (Ganon, of course), the weirdly existential Link’s Awakening plot, cult-fave enemies (stalfos!), and why Link’s silent-hero design is pure genius for player immersion. Also: a brief side-eye at 900-number culture, a few messy sibling stories, and absolutely too many sips of wine. If you’re into cozy chats about wine, gaming lore, and dumb personal anecdotes, this one’s for you. Cheers — it’s dangerous to go alone, so bring a friend (and maybe another bottle).

DEFENDANT: Pazuzu EVIDENCE: Manos Special Edition "The Exorcist" Cabernet Sauvignon SCENE OF THE CRIME: Hell, or a staircase near you...  -- Hey friend — welcome to our spooky season send-off. We cracked a bottle of Manos Cabernet, sunk into the couch, and dove headfirst into The Exorcist: the movie, the poster, the Pazuzu lore and all the deliciously grim behind-the-scenes gossip. Expect laughter, wine-fueled tangents, and the kind of true-crime sidetracks that only two slightly lubricated hosts can provide. We unpack why that iconic image of Father Merrin under the lamplight still freaks us out (Magritte vibes included), how the film shaped the possession subgenre, and why Linda Blair and Ellen Burstyn left their mark on horror history. We talk casting choices that almost were (Marlon Brando, Audrey Hepburn?), the haunting performance choices, and how Pazuzu went from ancient Mesopotamia to Hollywood’s demon of choice. Of course we get into the messy, human side: on-set injuries, practical effects (the real vomit/peanut-soup moment), Mercedes McCambridge’s voicework, and William Friedkin’s famously brutal directing methods. Plus the awkward modern problems — streaming paywalls, holiday theater lines, and whether you should ever feed Necco wafers to road-trip company. Sprinkled between film history are the personal stories: first-time screenings, dating decisions made at horror films, and the ridiculous pop-culture riffs that happen when you mix wine with movie analysis. If you love spooky, culty cinema, or just want a cozy chat about why The Exorcist still matters (and why Pazuzu might actually be misunderstood), this episode is for you. Give it a listen, tell us your favorite spooky bottle art, and rank our mini-series with us — we want to know which movie haunted you the most. Cheers (and maybe don’t say Pazuzu in a mirror)!

DEFENDANT: Pennywise the Dancing Clown EVIDENCE: Manos Special Edition "IT" Cabernet Sauvignon SCENE OF THE CRIME: Derry, Maine -- Hey friend — pull up a chair (but maybe keep an eye on the storm drain). In this episode we crack open some Manos vino and dive headfirst into Stephen King’s It: the book, the 1990 miniseries, and the 2017/2019 films. We chat about why the various adaptations land so differently, what makes Pennywise terrifying (Tim Curry vs. Bill Skarsgård), and how the story’s big ideas — childhood trauma, memory, and fear — get handled across formats. We also get candid about the parts that don’t sit right: problematic elements in the book, how King’s worldview shows up in his writing, and why some of his choices (yep, we mean that one scene) feel unnecessary and disturbing. It’s a frank, cozy, and sometimes messy convo — the kind you’d have with your snarkiest, warmest friends over a glass (or three). If you love horror history, behind-the-scenes casting tea, and judge-y takes on iconic scenes, this episode is for you. And if you’re terrified of clowns or storm drains... we hear you. We’ll hold the light while you walk by the gutter.

DEFENDANT: Inconclusive EVIDENCE: Manos Special Edition Friday 13th Cab Sauv SCENE OF THE CRIME: Camp Crystal Lake, duh --  Join Judge Topher and Judge Rachel for a hilariously intimate, wine-soaked chat about the entire Friday the 13th saga. They riff on everything from the original film’s odd pacing and surprise twist to Jason’s evolution (hockey mask, cyborg era, and questionable resurrection logistics). Between sips of Manos Cab and offbeat personal stories (yes, poop tales and mall Freddy sightings included), they debate which sequels make sense, how horror tropes like “sex gets you killed” came to be, and whether Freddy or Jason would actually win. Casual, funny, and warm — it’s like eavesdropping on two friends dissecting slashers, spooky season plans, and the absurdities of genre continuity. Tune in for laughs, nostalgia, and the kind of off-script banter you wish your pals would record.  

DEFENDANT: Annabelle  EVIDENCE: Manos Special Edition Annabelle Cabernet Sauvignon SCENE OF THE CRIME: Hell -- Hey friend — pull up a chair and pour yourself a glass (or two) — we spent the episode diving into Annabelle, Manos' delightfully creepy collector bottles, and a whole lot of supernatural rambling. Expect laughs, movie takes, and some bourbon-powered philosophy about demons, dolls, and the weird stuff that gives you goosebumps. Whether you’re Team Scared or Team Skeptic, we’re keeping it cozy and a little spooky — like chatting with your most entertainingly weird friend over wine. Come for the horror breakdowns, stay for the ridiculous tangents about haunted lamps, porcelain dolls, and whether priests should just take the damn cursed thing to church.

DEFENDANT: DragonCon EVIDENCE: Old Fourth Ward Limited Edition DragonCon Bourbon SCENE OF THE CRIME: Atlanta, Georgia! -- Hey friend — we’re back for Season 5 and we start things off with bourbon, Dragon Con vibes, and the kind of stories you only find when nerd culture meets true crime. Join us for cocktails, cosplay chat, a few messy scandals, and loads of heart. Grab a drink, get cozy, and let’s catch up like old pals — we’ve missed you.

DEFENDANT: The Sims EVIDENCE: Rex Hill Sims Valley Pinot Noir SCENE OF THE CRIME: Henford-on-Bagley and other locations -- Hey there, fellow wine and game enthusiasts! 🎉 Join us as we wrap up a delightful season of True Crime Against Wine in what can only be described as a bittersweet farewell (but fear not, we'll be back with even more surprises next season!). This episode, we're diving back into the world's top wine destination, Willamette Valley, and exploring why it's earned such high praise.   But that’s not all! We’re also putting The Sims in the hot seat, exploring its quirky history, and sharing hilarious personal tales from our gaming experiences. From battling unexpected events (like falling satellites!) to wooing with wizards, it's a fun rollercoaster ride. And, of course, our sidebars will continue over the summer - so keep those questions coming via email or any of our socials!   Pour yourself a glass of something fabulous and buckle up for an episode full of laughs, nostalgia, and a peek into what's brewing for Season Five. Until then, say cheers, ciao, and see you soon! 🥂

DEFENDANT: Kevin Hart   EVIDENCE: Gran Coramino Cristalino Reposado Tequila (it is silver because it is clear, Fact Checker doesn't always know everything)   SCENE OF THE CRIME: Jalisco, Mexico -- Hello, friends! Welcome to another tantalizing episode of True Crimes Against Wine. Picture this—you’re stepping into our cozy podcast, where we love to escape the chaos of the world and unwind.   This time, we're diving into a spirited discussion as we savor some delightful tequila. And not just any tequila; it’s Kevin Hart’s very own Coramino Tequila. Oh yes, we’re doing it right!   In this episode, we banter about the unique traditions of tequila-making, explore some funny and awkward anecdotes from Kevin Hart's life, and sift through old scandals with the lightheartedness of enjoying a smooth, strong drink. Guffaw with us over comedic imprudence and celebrity escapades while sipping on divine margaritas that you’ll definitely want to try at home.   Whether you’re here for the wine wisdom, comedic interludes, or just to hear us babble about all things entertaining, you’re in the right place. So, grab your glass and tune in for a long, enjoyable escape with us!

DEFENDANT: White Lotus EVIDENCE: White Lotus Makgeolli SCENE OF THE CRIME: An Exclusive Resort Near You -- Hey friends! Welcome to another entertaining episode of True Crimes Against Wine. Grab a glass and join us as we whisk you away into the captivating world of the White Lotus – where luxury meets underhanded alliances and unexpected twists!   We’re diving into the latest season, exploring the picturesque settings from the heavenly coastlines of Thailand to the enchanting landscapes of Italy. It's a wild ride through wealth, secrets, and the fascinating drama that unfolds when some of the most flawed characters collide in paradise.   From the whirl of rich emotions to the depths of shocking betrayals (and yes, more of that seductive brotherly tension), you won't want to miss our sizzling takes and hilarious assessments. So, pop that cork and settle in for a juicy tale of hedonism, hilarity, and a hint of the sinister. Cheers to uncovering secrets over a glass – or two!

DEFENDANT: Kylie Minogue EVIDENCE: Kylie Prosecco SCENE OF THE CRIME: Veneto, Italy/Melbourne, Australia -- Hey there, mate! Join us as we uncork a delightful rosé Prosecco and dive into the bubbly world of Kylie Minogue. We get chatty about everything from Prosecco's fizz to pop sensation Kylie, and even manage to sprinkle in some fun pop culture tidbits. It's an easy-going, laugh-filled episode you won't want to miss! So grab a glass, get cozy, and let's have at it.

DEFENDANT: Emily in Paris EVIDENCE: Lillet Blanc SCENE OF THE CRIME: Paris -- Bonjour, mes amis! Dive into the delightful world of 'True Crimes Against Wine' where we take a stylish detour from our usual libations. Join us as we uncover the tantalizing truth behind aperitifs and their bitter companions, digestifs, with our special focus on the delightful Lillet Blanc. We reminisce about thrilling Parisian adventures while sipping our aperitif cocktails, discussing everything from Emilys in 'Emily in Paris' unforgettable fashion choices to learning why aperitifs like Lillet hold a treasured place in our hearts. This episode, filled with sparkling wit and laughter, effortlessly blends our love for wine, whimsy, and wonderful wardrobes. Don't miss out, because who wouldn't want to drink and look fabulous doing it?

DEFENDANT: RuPaul EVIDENCE: House of Love Canned Cocktails SCENE OF THE CRIME: The WerqRoom -- Hey there! Ready for some fun? In this episode, we step away from the usual somber crime stories and dive into the vibrant world of drag with a side of canned cocktails. Join us as we explore the quirky and colorful House of Love cocktails by none other than RuPaul! We'll chat about the delightful nuances of each drink, from pomegranate lime vodka to a passion fruit margarita that, well, might not be for everyone. Buckle up as we venture into the history of drag, from its ancient roots to its pivotal moment under the spotlight thanks to icons like RuPaul. Whether you're a fan of RuPaul's Drag Race or just curious about why canned cocktails are the rage, this episode's got a little something for everyone. So, pour yourself a drink, sit back, and enjoy the lively chat!

TRIGGER WARNING: SA, please take care of your mental health. We value you and don't want to cause any harm through the things we discuss. -- DEFENDANT: Outland EVIDENCE: Manos Outlander Sauvignon Blanc SCENE OF THE CRIME: The Scottish Highlands -- Hey there, my friend! Welcome to our latest episode, where we take a fun and sometimes intense ride through the world of Outlander. 🚀 We're deep diving into all the juicy details and complex relationships that've got us hooked on this time-traveling adventure!   This week, we uncork some thoughts on everything from quantum physics to Scottish history, and debate the realism of Outlander's storyline alongside our trusty sleep-aid assistant, Hermes. 🐾 Whether it's sharing a laugh or unpacking some heavier themes, we're all about creating a cozy space for these conversations.   As we sip on some wine, we explore the different layers (just like a fine onion) of the show's characters, the lavish costumes, and how they age those kilts just right. So, grab a glass, get comfy, and join us for a chat! Cheers! 🍷

DEFENDANT: Dungeons and Dragons EVIDENCE: Quest's End Warlock Whiskey SCENE OF THE CRIME: Your Imagination -- Welcome to our latest episode where we dive into the magical realm of Dungeons & Dragons, exploring the adventures and misadventures it offers. Get comfortable as we discuss the nuances of creating characters, rolling dice for destiny, and whether you should add a twinkle or shine to your D&D persona. We also indulge in the tale of Matthew Lillard's whiskey creation, Quest's End, and its enticing flavors that might stave off scurvy, or maybe just transport you to a ship's deck. Whether you're a whiskey aficionado or simply D&D-curious, this episode promises a journey through taste and imagination. Join us as we banter about our experiences, mishaps, and the unexpected hilarity that ensues when fantasy meets reality. It's an epic quest full of laughter, insights, and the reminder that every critical fail can turn into an unforgettable story. Cheers!

DEFENDANT: Frida Kahlo EVIDENCE: Cigar Box Cabernet Sauvignon, Frida Edition SCENE OF THE CRIME: Maipo Valley, Chile -- Hey there, true crime aficionados! In today’s episode, we’re diving into the fascinating world of Frida Kahlo, an iconic artist who painted her own path despite all odds. We’ll chat about her tumultuous relationship with fellow artist Diego Rivera, her unapologetic embrace of her unique beauty, and how her unyielding spirit came to symbolize Mexican cultural pride.   Join us as we sip on a delightful wine that pairs perfectly with tales of revolutionary art and passionate affairs. We’ll explore her creative process, her struggles with health and heartbreak, and how her legacy continues to inspire generations.   So grab a glass, settle in, and let’s toast to Frida — the artist who defied conventions and captivated the world. Cheers!

DEFENDANT: George R.R. Martin EVIDENCE: House of the Dragon Cabernet Sauvignon SCENE OF THE CRIME: Westeros -- Welcome back, my fellow wine aficionados and Westeros wanderers! In today’s True Crimes Against Wine, we're popping the cork on a special edition for all you Game of Thrones and House of Dragon fans. Picture this: the lush vineyards of Oregon meet the mystery of the Iron Throne. Are you intrigued yet? We’re diving deep into the heart of the Willamette region, dissecting its finest Pinot Noir while musing over what makes this grape the 'heartbreak' of wines. Expect nothing less than a silky, seductive sip with just a whisper of vanilla and a gentle caress of French oak. Sounds like a perfect smooch in a glass, right? Stay tuned as we fumble our way through tasting notes, discuss the athletic prospects of netball (British listeners, isn’t this a hoot?), and, oh yes, our vigorous debate on costumed characters from the Seven Kingdoms! Whether you’re more of a Stark, Lannister, or Targaryen (or like us, just trying to not spill the wine), there’s something in today’s episode for every type of fan.

DEFENDANT: CELINE DION!!! EVIDENCE: Domaine Delaporte Sancerre, Loire Valley, FR SCENE OF THE CRIME: The Universe -- *DISCLAIMER* This episode includes cringe-worthy segments of terrible singing. If you have sensitive ears (or stomachs) please be advised.   Happy Birthday, Judge Topher!!! That's right, it is Tophermas Day! It's all downhill from here for the rest of December. BUT to celebrate the season, we are drinking our fanciest wine yet in honor of your favorite Judge's Fairy God-Diva, the greatest singer in the world, the incomparable Celine Marie Claudette Dion! Join us as we deep dive into the life of this beloved icon, from young ingenue to global superstar. Aaaaand... Because it is the most wonderful day of the year, be sure to check out the special Sidebar "Companion Episode" we so graciously gifted you all, set to air on Christmas Day! *SPOILER ALERT* We were already drunk when we started recording, so you are guaranteed to have a lot of fun listening to us make absolute fools of ourselves! You're welcome! 😆 Cheers, ciao, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOPHER!!!

DEFENDANT: The Wonderful World of Oz EVIDENCE: Manos Yellow Brick Road Sauvignon Blanc SCENE OF THE CRIME: Munchkinland, duh. -- Let us be glad! Let us be grateful! Let us rejoicify that drunkenness could subdue... being boring? Yes, dear listeners, Good News! We are gracing you with a surprise bonus episode this holiday season. What is this feeling? Something bad? Goodness knows, no! We merely want to expressify our gratitution to you all! In this special episode, we will take dancing through life behind the scenes of L. Frank Baum's kaleidoscopic world and the creations it has led to. The inside scoop is sure to make you popular, even if only for one short day. I would drop some spoilers, but I'm not that girl! This thrillifying episode has us exploring new heights as we defy gravity. Thank you festivating with us! Cheers, my pretties!

DEFENDANT: Dolly Parton EVIDENCE: Dolly Chardonnay SCENE OF THE CRIME: Sevierville, Tennessee -- Howdy, darlin's! In this long awaited episode, our Judges examine the voluptuous past and bodacious present of America's Queen, the one and only Dolly Parton. From her humble roots to her rise to stardom, her glamorous image to her generous spirit, we have all the inside scoops! Ever wonder where she got her distinctive style? Or who her husband is and how they make their relationship work? And what about any dark secrets she harbors? Heck, everybody has a couple skeletons in their closet! Well just tune right on in, settle back with a sipple, and let us tell you all about it!   And don't forget to reach out to us at True Crimes Against Wine on TikTok, Gmail, Instagram, and Facebook!   Cheers, y'all!