Never Perfect

In this short episode, Beth attempts to explain the impact of the nervous system on anxiety levels. She describes the speeding up (the sympathetic process) and the slowing down, a compensatory mode (parasympathetic) and how it relates to the fight flight and freeze responses that we have. Sometimes our nervous systems speed up because we encounter real danger or situations we fear and sometimes we have anxious thoughts or fears that cause us to go into fight or flight. Beth talks about how we can unknowingly put ourselves into panic mode or fear mode because of our thoughts and associations. She explains how our nervous systems try to prepare for danger by being hypervigilant, and how this relates to social anxiety. Some techniques can help us put our nervous systems in a calmer state. Other people may also try to read our facial expressions and nonverbal cues to try to figure out whether we are safe or not. A few client examples that relate to these concepts, including the emotional labels that we put on our heightened nervous system states. Remember trauma nervous system. Non-verbal communication Training How does your body respond to dangers? Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is more of an informational discussion on inpatient treatment and intensive outpatient treatment, for those who need more than just standard counseling and therapy . Beth interviews staff from local facility Erlanger Behavioral Health CEO Robin Weagley and Business Development Director Roberto Garcia, and they discuss the differences between inpatient treatment, partial hospitalization, and intensive outpatient treatment. They provide suggestions on how to determine whether someone needs varying levels of care. Erlanger Behavioral Health VISIT HERE Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, dr. Beth interviews Brittanee Estes, a marriage and family therapist, who deals with autism spectrum disorders and ADHD. Brittanie describes the autism spectrum and the criteria/categories used to diagnose it. The first category relates to difficulty understanding and maintaining relationships, and trouble understanding, nonverbal cues. The second category relates to repetitive motor movements, flexibility, with routines, fixated, interests, and sensory issues. And of course, Dr. Beth shares, professional and personal stories to illustrate. Brittanie talks about how she uses family systems work to help the families understand the disorder and how to work with it. She also works with clients to help regulate their nervous system and to help their family members go regulate with them.  Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this very short episode, Beth was so inspired immediately following a counseling session with a man in his late 60s that she wanted to record this podcast. Her client Joe is blind and has had two organ transplants and faced much adversity due to health problems. And yet he, a retired chemist and chef, continues to develop proactive ideas to help inner city and aging people get access to better nutrition. During their counseling session, he shared a YouTube video, by Admiral William McRaven, called “One Person Can Change the World: The Power of Hope” with tears streaming down his face. It was very powerful for Beth to see a man who struggles to walk and to see, and how he’s still trying to change the world, one step at a time. These are the types of conversations that Beth feels are so sacred they must be shared with others.  Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Joe Timberlake returns to Never Perfect for a conversation about addiction recovery and recovery (previous podcast, was called “The Journey to Good Enough”). Joe has been in recovery for about 35 years, and he talks about his journey as a sponsor and a sponsee, and what that looks like. Beth and Joe talk about a little bit of everything related to Recovery. Including conversation about the attempt to fill our voids, imposter syndrome, Dumping your pain, connection and isolation, dropoing the rock, asking God to.remove our defects of character, a problem shared is a problem halved, isolation, shame and self hatred, assuming sponsors are too busy or they aren’t important enough , looking for something to fill your void or satisfy the existential ache inside you, engaging with others, the rules of engagement, the power of sharing things out loud, the importance of accepting powerlessness, that’s when it’s unmanageable, positive rules of engagement, etc. Joe has a wealth of wisdom and experience to share. Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Physical therapist and former NFL player Nic Colbert shares his life story and mental health of battling depression from early childhood through the present. Nic vulnerably shares his experience of shame, low self-worth, and self harm over the years and how he has grown and use therapy over the last seven years to get to his healthiest place.  Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tiffany Dorizas, wife and mother of 5 adolescents, has a refreshing perspective on hospitality, and takes a casual approach to having people over and gives herself permission to never make it perfect. That’s why she posts videos on social media about how to make it easy. Very few people have the gift of hospitality, but maybe that would change if we shifted our view of it and the implications of it. Perfectionism is one of the biggest obstacles. Letting others into your home and into your space creates connection and a sense of belonging, like being part of your family. We all want to feel like part of others lives and so many people are lonely. It still means a lot to be invited, even if the house is messy, and the food gets burnt!  Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In the second episode with Jason, a middle aged carpenter, he shares his story about being on the brink of divorce, and how he and his wife turned things around in just a few short months. This was accomplished by starting to dialogue with his wife about the false assumptions and narratives, and gradually building a new connection Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Part 1 with Jason, a middle aged carpenter: In this episode, he describes how he benefited from therapy as an adolescent, and again in adulthood. Growing up, he developed a lot of false assumptions and unhealthy narratives; he often felt like a disappointment to his parents, and assumed they were more proud of his sisters, and of him. He realized, “I never developed healthy ways of communicating so all I had left was to assume. Assumptions have really dug me into holes my entire life.” He talked about feeling like a failure in school and then again, professionally as a line cook, but eventually , he says “a lot of things changed for me when I gave up on trying to please my parents. “He now realizes that it’s important to do things for himself, and not based on false (or true) narratives about what others want.  Feel free to pick your favorite title or create a better one! Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After a comical discussion about “dry January” and the health benefits of not drinking, Beth and Kat (certified Enneagram teacher and co-host of the Enneagram + Yoga podcast) launch into a discussion about how the Enneagram helps us “ understand the motivations, the fears, and behaviors of people that you’re in relationship with, and have kindness and compassion for that because they are different from you and they see things different and they are motivated and fearful about different things”. Many of us naturally gravitate toward a person who has strengths and qualities that we don’t possess, but these differences often result in a disconnect down the road if communication skills are lacking (as they generally are, in most relationships!). The very differences that attract us to people can eventually drive us apart or drive us crazy! The Gottmans’ state that couples can work through “ perpetual issues and unsolvable problems” by dialoguing about them to get unstuck and change your perception about them. Kat works with couples as an Enneagram coach to help them “be their best self and their most authentic self “by helping them understand questions like “what makes you tick? Why do you do things you do? Why do you react a certain way, or see things a certain way? Why do you resolve conflict in a certain way? “ Kat believes that without addressing these questions, “you can’t grow.”  Kat Smith Yoga Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bethany Whitted, an expert in the psychology of organizations, team dynamics, leadership discusses authenticity and why it matters in individuals lives. She explains what authenticity is, and how it starts and what gets in the way of it.. essentially it is the degree to which one is true to their real self, including personality, spirit, and character.  Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Beth interviews nurse coach Therese Parks to find out the numerous benefits of meeting with a nurse coach, which seems to be a mix of having a medical cheerleader and a personal organizer for your medical information. Nurse coaches might come for a home visit or attend doctors appointments with you and even go to the grocery store with you to help guide you in your food choices. Therese is a big fan of making a medical notebook for patients with all of their medical information, including medicines, specialist, medical conditions, records of various health information, such as blood pressure, oxygen levels, blood sugar levels, etc. Therese also shares some very helpful information from the functional medicine course she is currently taking.  Using Food As Medicine 6 Reasons For Food Diversity Personal Wellness Coaching Integrative Nurse Coaches Annual Checkups Help Seniors Thrive What is Nurse Coaching Glucose Goddess Hacks Seed Oils Bad For You Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is Beth’s long overdue podcast on the Cluster B Personality disorders, honing in specifically on a subtype of covert narcissism called “vulnerable narcissism” (see attached article for more details.) This insecurity or vulnerability is often surprising since most people associate narcissism with arrogance or feelings of superiority (which can be more of a defensive posture/facade). Beth reviews many of the basic traits of narcissistic personality disorder, and shares a little bit about the other cluster B personality disorders, (Borderline and Narcissistic) and shares a couple of Client examples.  12 Signs of a Vulnerable Narcissist Understanding Cluster B Personality Disorders Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this short episode, after Dr. Beth throws herself under the bus for some of her own unhealthy drinking habits, she shares some of the biggest reasons for cutting back or stopping drinking. Her reasons includes the impact on relationships, mental health, physical health, disease, aging, and the increased likelihood of being a victim (or perpetrator) of assaults, accidents, etc.  Alcohol and Aggression Drinking Alcohol and the Risk of Violence Drinking Too Much Alcohol Can Harm Your Health How Drinking Ages You Traumatic Effects of Alcoholism on Families Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kelsi Ray became a believer in the effectiveness of neurofeedback through the benefits she received personally — brain mapping and training led to such significant decreases in anxiety and depression that Kelsi got off of medication completely and has maintained these results for the past 5 years. After mapping Dr. Beth’s brain, Kelsi Ray of Tennessee Neurofeedback explains the basics of Neurofeedback to Beth and her friend Amanda Tarr (friend and previous podcast guest.) Kelsi shares a bit about different types of brain waves, how they are mapped and retrained, and how Neurofeedback Treatment works.  Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, Dr. Beth is going to be talking about the advantages and disadvantages of knowing your diagnosis, that is, if you have one… She has been involved of some lively discussions in our about whether it’s beneficial to get evaluated (or diagnosed) for a condition that you might have. Beth recalls conversation with someone last fall, who said “ all of my children probably have ADHD, but I never wanted to get them tested because I didn’t want them to have a label or to feel like something was wrong with them.” Although many people might agree with this sentiment, others would disagree, the bottom line is figuring out what seems healthiest and best for yourself and your loved ones long-term. Beth talks about the pros and cons of understanding your brain and your nervous system. This is part of developing your personal users manual, which is one of her favorite concepts to discuss with clients. None of us knows what it feels like to be in another person‘s body, so sometimes it’s difficult to know if we are suffering with a mental health condition, or if we are neurodivergent in some way… many people ask, “Is this normal? Do other people feel this angry, depressed, moody? Why am I struggling to make friends? Why do I procrastinate all the time?” It’s hard for us to know how our own experience compares with others, so a diagnostic questionnaire can help us figure out whether we meet criteria for a certain mental health condition or learning disorder, etc. Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We need to help the next generation and see their gifts, and to believe in them, often before they even see the best in themselves and have a positive narrative about themselves. Unfortunately teens are often miss portrayed and seen in a negative light. Research has shown that most adults hold negative biases about teenagers. And yet teens long to be understood and viewed in a favorable light, and they want advice from adults who view them this way, but frequently this seems unavailable. After 20 years of working with teenagers, Young Life Director Jason Cha shares some insights about how teens want adults in their lives treat them and view them. Jason shares research showing that the vast majority of teenagers want advice from adults, but most of them never seek it out because they don’t trust that they will be understood. Jason and Beth discuss generational and cultural differences between teens and adults, as well as timeless issues that transcend them.  Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ella Green is a high school senior, who shares her story of anxiety, trauma, and loss as a “tween” and how multiple losses in her life crippled her and brought her to her knees, literally. She’s written a book about her experience with debilitating anxiety and how her faith carried her through. Read Ella's Book Here: "Dear Anxious Mind" Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Joe Timberlake is a businessman and yoga instructor, who grew up with alcoholic father. He never felt good enough: his father was always critical and disappointed in him. As a young adult, Joe himself discovered that alcohol, lowered his social anxiety and made him the life of the party, so he became an addict himself. At age 35, Joe became sober and benefited greatly from 12 step, meetings, and sponsors. He healed from his childhood trauma and rose above the abusive relationship with his father, and was able to reconcile with him after many years of spending time with him, and continuing to endure criticism. Joe explains how he achieved peace through his own work, and eventually reconcile with his father. He wrote a book about his story called “The Attorney” The Attorney by Joe Timberlake Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Dr. Beth is thrilled to have relationship expert. Dr. Carol Stoney return to discuss the ongoing conflicts and struggles that all couples deal with. They discuss Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman’s research, specifically their work on perpetual problems and unsolvable issues. No matter who you end up with, you will have a distinctive set of issues pop up, and more than 2/3 of these issues will never resolve, but need to be discussed to get out of gridlock. Dr. Stoney reminds us that at least 2/3 of our differences will never be agreed upon. Some of her advice: we need to take responsibility for our own part and admit that often “we don’t manage ourselves very well “when we have an issue with our partners. we need to look at our “action tendencies “and to understand ourselves, rather than pointing the finger at others (which is the natural tendency.) we often treat our partner like the enemy, partly because our nervous system‘s are wired to be constantly “checking for safety. “ Dr. Stoney says that couples “quickly lose the feeling that we’re on the same team. “ she often Reminds couples to “connect and then correct.” we all need to feel that we are “in a safe pair of hands” with our partner. Our partners actually want to please us, whether we realize it or not. She also recommends the imago profile as a tool for understanding our triggers and patterns and relationships. And Baby Makes Three: The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives Loving On Purpose Listen to this episode and more: neverperfect.org Follow us on instagram @neverperfectpodcast Please rate and review this podcast. Send us an email with any feedback or requests: neverperfectbeth@gmail.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices