Virtual Pause

November 24, 2025Through some recent experiences, I have realized that there is a fire inside of me that desires to express truth, creativity, passion, and sight. But there has been a blanket ofcompliance that has shoved that fire down over the years, for fear it will kick me out of situations and leave me abandoned. But what happens when you don’t let fire out? You eat it, and eventually it eats you or blows up you and those around you. Today we will stir that fire up a bit through breath, try to identify its source and gifts by connecting it with holy fire, and let go of that which may be holding it back. I will be quoting an excerpt from Every Moment Holy:“Breathe out sorrow,Breathe in joy.Breathe out lament,Breathe in hope.Breathe out pain,Breathe in comfort.Breathe out sorrow,Breathe in joy.Breathe out joy.”(Adapted) A Liturgy for Embracing both Joy and Sorrow, Every Moment Holy V. II, Douglas McKelvey, 2021Check out Numa Wellness Collective at NumaWellness.orgPhoto by Patrick Hendry on Unsplash

November 3, 2025Yesterday was All Saints Day, or All Soul’s Day, and in Mexico, The Day of the Dead. Sometimes we forget how our ancestors have shaped us. What positive attributes have we acquired?What has been passed down to us that we may not even recognize? In today’s episode we will root ourselves into our lineage – noticing the beautiful gifts we have been given that make us who we are, and the challenges, generational trauma, or fears that have been passed down that we need to tend to.

October 27, 2025Today’s episode is a simple grounding practice using imagery and sound. Sometimes (like always) we just need to get out of our heads and back into our bodies and souls. We will assess where we are on the continuum of groundedness. Our reading for today is an excerpt from the poem Remember fromJoy Harjo, a Native American U.S. Poet Laureate from the Muscogee Nation.Remember, Joy HarjoRemember the sky that you were born under, know each of the star’s stories.Remember the moon, know who she is.Remember the sun’s birth at dawn, that is the strongest point of time. Remember sundownand the giving away to night.Remember your birth, how your mother struggledto give you form and breath. You are evidence ofher life, and her mother’s, and hers.Remember your father. He is your life, also.Remember the earth whose skin you are:red earth, black earth, yellow earth, white earthbrown earth, we are earth.Remember the plants, trees, animal life who all have theirtribes, their families, their histories, too. Talk to them,listen to them. They are alive poems.Remember the wind. Remember her voice. She knows theorigin of this universe.Remember you are all people and all people are you.Remember you are this universe and this universe is you.Remember all is in motion, is growing, is you.Remember language comes from this.Remember the dance language is, that life is.Remember.https://www.joyharjo.com/Photo by Merri J on Unsplash

October 20, 2025Sometimes we know where we are headed and can actively prepare for it. But more often than not we end up going somewhere we had no idea about, and we are being preparedwithout even noticing it. Let’s get curious about how we are being prepared, not what we are being prepared for. Today we will get grounded and curious about what we have had to let go of, to heal, a new skill we have acquired or strengthened, etc. Our listening portion today is a beautiful one…Above all,trust in the slow work of God.We are quitenaturally impatient in everything to reach the end without delay.We shouldlike to skip the intermediate stages.We areimpatient of being on the way to something unknown, something new.And yet itis the law of all progress That is madeby passing through some stages of instability – And that itmay take a very long time. And so Ithink it is with you; your ideasmature gradually- let them grow, let them shape themselves, without unduehaste.Don’t try toforce them on,as thoughyou could be today what time (that is tosay, grace and circumstances acting on your own good will)will make ofyou tomorrow.Only Godcould say what this new spirit gradually forming within you will be.Give our Godthe benefit of believingthat God’shand is leading you,and acceptthe anxiety of feeling yourselfin suspenseand incomplete.-PierreTeilhard de Chardin, SJphoto credit: Alice Donovan Rouse on unsplash 

July 28, 2025We will have a dash on our tombstones - the time between birth and death. But what if we saw it as a plus? Where our life is about contribution? Yet the only way to do this with real impact and integrity is following that vertical line - grounding in humanity, being awake in reality, with all of its beauty and challenges, and connecting to the divine so we can be reminded who we are. Today we will experience a way to ground ourselves into humanity, into the earth, and connecting our soul to our creator.

July 28, 2025"Note from NatureDo not try to save the whole wordor do anything grandiose.instead, create a clearingin the dense forestof your life and wait there patiently, until the song that is your lifefalls into your won cupped handsand you recognize and greet it.only then will you knowhow to give yourselfto this worldso worthy of rescue."A Clearing" by Martha PoslewaiteOur dense forest is our illusions - of control, of perfection, of acceptance, of security. If we move in the world without seeing and clearing these things, we will only be able to walk around in our small forest, where we cannot see and is full of darkness. Yet if we clear these things away, the sunlight can come in and new life can happen. Then, we can hear when we are being beckoned to participate in positive ways in this world.

May 19, 2025Gratitude works. It changes our body – our physiology. Itchanges our mind - our approach and attitude. It changes our heart – from onethat is closed to one that is open. It taps into our souls and transcendsnegativity, division, and isolation. Today we will slowly walk through eachstake of our tent, giving gratitude for all parts of ourselves and gratitudefor all parts of life itself. One day in summerWhen everythingHas already been more than enoughThe wild beds startExploding open along the bermOf the sea; day after dayYou sit near them; day after dayThe honey keeps on comingIn the red cups and the beesLike amber drops rollIn the petals; there is no end, Believe me! To the inventions of summerTo the happiness your body Is willing to bearThe Roses, Mary Oliver

May 12, 2025I am frustrated and fascinated by how my ego, my false self,is dealing with the major transitions I am facing right now in my life. I am continuingto learn, through a translation of the Psalms by Nan Merrill, through MichaelSinger, and many other spiritual and psychological teachers, that when the egois uncomfortable, it builds walls of illusion. The ego is driven strictly by fearof not being ok, not being in control, loved, or safe, so it builds stories ofhow it can be okay. We build a house of illusions, and, as Michael Singerstates, it’s a house of horrors.Today we will hopefully experience a moment where our trueselves can be at peace and commune with God, with love. Then we will see whathappens as we allow a thought or fear to surface, and how we end up back in ourhouse of illusions once again. We will settle and let go so that we can takethis thought or fear back out of the house and into the open air. For our listening portion today, I pulled together a few phrasesfrom various Psalms as translated by Nan Merrill in the book, Psalms forPraying,“Distracted by greed and arrogancewe do not hear the Beloved’s Voice whispering in the silence:‘Awaken all of you living in darkness! We are all One in Love Consciousness.You live in my Heart even as I dwell in yours.’”– Psalm 2“Now, I shall forgive all illusions that my ego tries tobuild.” “Rise up, Love! Set me Free!”- Psalm 3The Michael Singer podcast I quote:  https://open.spotify.com/episode/0qqZhl8ALcFVdpxLDctIFPPhoto by Lena Polishko on Unsplash

April 7, 2025I am findingit very difficult to quiet my mind these days. There is too much noise –locally, nationally, and globally. Yet I know that if I don’t find a way toquiet my mind, even for a moment, I will push myself into the world with fearand control, or hide away from it, and not be a place of refuge and safety forothers. Today we willdo a simple pause focusing on being still, allowing ourselves to touch, evenfor a moment, that place of beauty, stillness and hope in us, so we can bringit out to the world. I referenceRichard Rohr’s meditation about apatheia, or dispassion or indifference, andyou can find it here.  https://cac.org/daily-meditations/a-change-in-consciousness/

March 24, 2025There aretimes I behave in ways I am not proud of and feel very incongruent to my soul. Thechaos of the world and the chaos into my head leaks into my thoughts andbehaviors. Coming back to stability may happen as an interior shift in us, oras an external shift in circumstances. The common theme is surrender, so we canopen up our lungs and our hearts for the breath of God, the breath of thespirit. YHWH There was a moment when Moses had the nerve toask God what his name is. God was gracious enough to answer, and the name hegave is recorded in the original Hebrew as YHWH.Over time we’vearbitrarily added an “a” andan “e” inthere to get YaHWeH, presumably because we have a preference for vowels. But scholars and Rabbi’s have noted that theletters YHWH represent breathing sounds, or aspirated consonants. Whenpronounced without intervening vowels, it actually sounds like breathing. YH (inhale): WH (exhale). So a baby’s first cry, his firstbreath, speaks the name of God. A deep sigh calls His name – or a groan or gasp that is too heavy for merewords. Even an atheist would speak His name, unaware that their very breath is givingconstant acknowledgment to God. Likewise, a person leaves this earth with their last breath, when God’sname is no longer filing their lungs. So when I can’t utter anything else, is mycry calling out His name?Being alive means I speak His name constantly.  So, is it heard the loudest when I’m the quietest?In sadness, we breathe heavy sighs. In joy, our lungs feel almost like they will burst. In fear we hold our breath and have to be told to breathe slowly to help uscalm down. When we’re about to do something hard, we take a deepbreath to find our courage.  When I think about it, breathing is giving him praise. Even in the hardestmoments! This is so beautiful and fills me with emotion every time I grasp the thought.God chose to give himself a name that we can’thelp but speak every moment we’re alive. All of us, always, everywhere. Waking, sleeping, breathing, with the name of God on our lips.- Unknown Author 

Letting of of non-essentials in life seems like a no-brainer if we see them simply as things that are unhealthy for us or are distractions. But our nonessentials can be anything, even good things, that we are entangled in and that keep us from our center. In today's episode, we will identify those nonessentials and let them go so that we can experience "supreme life" and "deepest peace." Our listening portion today: "Everything that is non-essential in s must fall away like ashes in a furnace, in order that the pure gold of our being, thus refined, may shine in the light of grace....For peace begins only in death, with inexpressible bliss of supreme life, which is supreme wakefulness, supreme activity, and supreme intensity, and at the same time deepest calm, deepest peace, and deepest security."Hanns Georg von Heintschell-Heinegg, From Dying we Live: The final Messages and Records of the Resistance.An Austrian poet and theology student who was put to death for his outspoken resistance to the Nazi regime.

February 3rd, 2025 When we hide, grasp, push, shove, dominate, escape, or demonstrate other un-grounded behaviors, we are more than likely acting out of a place of self-protection, pushing down a weakness or limitation we have that we can’t bear for the world, or ourselves, to see. This limitation can create a shadow side in us, and the work we do to cover it up and protect an image of ourselves can be exhausting and destructive. In today’s Pause, we will identify a limitation in ourselves, see how we have acted to protect it, embrace it with compassion, and let it get untangled from our grip. From that place we will be able to be vulnerable, open, and at rest, live transformed, and be guided on how to move into the world. “Our creations come not when we’re out in the world, gathering impressions, but when we’re sitting still, turning those impressions into sentences. Our job, you could say, is to turn, through stillness, a life of movement into art.” The Art of Stillness, Pico Iyer Photo by Andrey Grinkevich on Unsplash

January 27, 2025 Most of us, if not all of us, are currently experiencing something in our lives that we want to change. Whether in us, our families, our communities, our nation, or our world.  We have learned that the way for things to change is to fight – to fortify whatever is weak in our lives; or we hide – shrinking back in fear and feeling overcome by despair. This is our ego at play – and positive change can’t come from ego. We can’t be guided simply by our own needs towards a better outcome. In this episode we will learn what “letting go” and “releasing” means, and spending time in quiet Centering Prayer to release these old habits and ways of ego-doing, so we can just be. From this place of being, we will notice what is stirring in us – our way forward – to bring the hope and healing we desire.

January 13, 2025 I noticed the other day the intense feeling that I suddenly got throughout my body when I was having a conversation with someone. That sense of flight or fight was real. My reaction to it was to protect – and that looked like judgment, anger, hiding, superiority, etc. But the situation didn’t warrant my reaction. What was really going on? When we are confronted with a situation that triggers us, our immediate reaction is often fight or flight or freeze. It can feel like a crack has opened in our lives that is dark. Yet if we stay in that darkness, we are unable to see what is really going on in us. We have to let the dark crack be filled by light as we stabilize our bodies and get our minds quiet, giving some breathing room for what is really going on in us. Then we will be able to see what we are gripping onto, what we are trying to control or hide from, and let properly put those things where they belong – out of our hands. Our listening portion today is from the bible, 2 Timothy 1:7 “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (cowardice, fear), but a spirit of power and of love and of self-discipline.” photo credit: Joe Gardner on unsplash

January 6, 2025 As I have reflected on last year, I realized that my intense external chaos bled into my internal state of being. I ended up being in my head, not in my body or heart. Like a whirling dervish, instead of both feet flying around through the chaos of life, we need to keep one foot solidly stable and grounded as we navigate through life. As we embark on the new year, today’s pause will be about reflecting on what has consumed our minds (worry and problem-solving) and be present. We will let go of needing approval from the world and remember how God has shown up in our lives and loved us, even through the most difficult of circumstances. And we will trust the process of our lives and experience peace. Listening portion by Eckhart Tolle: “You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are at the deepest level.” Photo by Hulki Okan Tabak on Unsplash

November 18, 2024 When we have to make an important decision, it is sometimes difficult to discern the direction to go. It may be a decision to take a job or what college to go to, or it may be how to deal with a challenging person or situation in your life. Often, we have our own agenda and may look for affirmation from God for the decision we want. But that is not seeking God’s path for our lives, it’s only fortifying our own. In today’s pause we will look at a decision you are needing to make in your life and recognize which one God may be pulling you toward. The listening portion today is from Proverbs 3:6 – and different translations of it. “In all of your ways, be mindful of God, and God will make straight your paths.” Magnificat “Submit to God…” New International Version “Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go, God is the one who will keep you on track.” The Message “Seek God’s will in all you do.” New Living Translation “Give God the credit for everything you accomplish, God will smooth and straighten the road that lies ahead.” The Voice “In all of your ways know and acknowledge and recognize God.” Amplified Version “Trust in the Lord with all your heart,     and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him,     and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes;     fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh     and refreshment to your bones.” ESV

November 11, 2024 My Camino de Santiago journey continues with a story about me and a lemon and an old Spanish man….and how, without realizing it, I stole from him. We steal, everyday, without knowing. We steal time, attention, etc. from ourselves and others.  What underlies this sometimes subtle behavior of ours? Scarcity? Fear? Need for attention? Today we will dig a bit and try and let go of that inner need so we can stay in our lane and not experience the negative effects that stealing can have on us and others. For our listening portion today, we will here from St. Augustine… “Once for all, then, a short precept is given you: love, and do what you will: Whether you hold your peace, Through love hold your peace Whether you cry out, through love cry out; Whether you correct, through love correct; Whether you spare, through love do you spare: Let the root of love be within, Of this root can nothing spring but what is good.

November 4, 2024 I have realized lately that for good reason I have built a wall of self-protection around my heart in a certain situation in my life. Yet my ah-ha happened last week when I realized that the feelings I have behind those walls and the reason I built them – fear, insecurity, doubt, pain – have transferred into other areas of my life. They have infested and infected relationships, opportunities, and dreams. This doesn’t serve me or anyone around me well. So we are going to pause it out – letting go of the stuff that rises up in our mode of self-protection and allowing the love, peace, joy, creativity, hope, etc. to transcend other areas of our lives, breaking down the self-protective walls. “To love a person is to learn the song of their heart and sing it to them when they’ve forgotten.” Anne Garborg

October 21, 2024 Are you allowing yourself to dream? Or are you, as Paulo Coelho says in the book The Pilgrimage, killing your dreams by not having enough time, by not asking enough of life, by wanting things to be comfortable? Dreaming for me has been a way for me to escape the mundane and ordinariness of life. My dreams have suffered and not been met at times as well. But without dreaming, we lose hope. And we lose our connection to love. Today we will identify what keeps us from dreaming, and pull in the grounding that is required for our dreams to be ones that are coming from our true self, not our ego.

October 14, 2024 In this week’s episode I begin to talk about my experience on the Camino de Santiago in Spain and some of the aha’s I discovered along the way! The biggest and most surprising was joy! We will walk through what joy is and reflect on what keeps us from experiencing joy in our lives. Our listening portion: Dear Child of God, you are loved with a love that nothing can shake, a love that loved you long before you were created, a love that will be there long after everything has disappeared. You are precious, with a preciousness that is totally quite immeasurable. And God wants you to be like God. Filled with life and goodness and laughter—and joy.  God, who is forever pouring out God’s whole being from all eternity, wants you to flourish. God wants you to be filled with joy and excitement and ever longing to be able to find what is so beautiful in God’s creation: the compassion of so many, the caring, the sharing. And God says, Please, my child, help me. Help me to spread love and laughter and joy and compassion. And you know what, my child? As you do this—hey, presto—you discover joy. Joy, which you had not sought, comes as the gift, as almost the reward for this non-self-regarding caring for others.  Archbishop Desmund Tutu, The Book of Joy