Boozer & The Brain

Kon’nichiwa, min’na! Welcome once again to the wonders of Japan; specifically, the wonders of that cosy, feathered little nest we call Hitachino. Today we’re going to be sampling the magnificently-named delights of DaiDai and Anbai, a couple of fruited beers of varying style from these cheeky sake brewing masters (who also quite enjoy brewing delicious beer from time to time when the mood strikes). That’s about all there is to say on that, to be honest, but now it falls upon me to finish with some form of utterly terrible joke… ummm… oh, crap, I’m drawing a blank. Better create a diversion so I can make my escape. Beermander, Drinkachu, I choose you!

Oh. My. God. Yes, people. This is not a drill. It’s happening. It’s… ANOTHER TRAPPIST EPISODE! Aaaaaaaahhh! It’s time for us to delve deeply, delectably, and definitely not at all suggestively into the alluring line-up of Chimay Pères Trappistes - the brewing arm of Scourmont Abbey - as we taste three of their core range, taking in the Dorée/Gold, the 150, and the Red. It’s Trappist beer, you know the drill by now: brace yourselves for some hardcore dribbling, borderline toadying and not-at-all unwarranted apotheosis. Bless you, my children, and praise be to Dionysos for the gift of Trappist ale! Drink, then, wherever you may be, for I am the Lord of the beer, said he…

Goodness me, we’re on a new brewery roll! What’s that? ANOTHER one?! Well, aren’t you lot spoiled, huh?! Today we’ll be enjoying a couple of beers by Left Handed Giant Brewing! Not only that - we’ve only gone and got hold of a couple of their 7th birthday beers! Why yes, thank you, a pat on the back would be lovely. So please do listen to us professionally* review This is the Way Belgian Pale and We Celebrate Dark Ruby Mild - to be clear, yes, that is the beer’s name. Yes? Oh, you were expecting this to finish with a joke? Um… your face? Does that count…? *not at all professionally - Ed.

How many? 71?! Oh, my… ah. Wait. That’s the name of the brewery. Two actual beers. Ok then. Thank God. So anyway, welcome everyone to another brand new brewery episode! Woohoo! We’re really cranking those out at the moment; well done us. In this episode we’ll be hoping not to hit a sour note with two beers from 71 Brewing’s Fruition series: Blackcurrant Apple Crumble and Rhubarb Punch. They sound pretty delish, right? You’d better tune in then. Go on. I won’t tell anyone. Promise. Cross my heart and hope to die, terrapin stickle me if I lie. And if you got that reference, then… well, there’s no actual prize, per se, but we love you very much. That’s the REAL prize. Hey, how dare you call us cheapskates…!

Into the wild blue Yonder we go! It’s a new brewery episode - hooray! - and what’s more, both of the beers are collabs - hooray! From Somerset’s own Yonder Brewing we present to you Tropical Gose (with show favourites New Bristol) and Ritual Union (with aptly-named coffee grindery, Girls Who Grind Coffee). Right, that’s all the pertinent information out of the way, you’ll be expecting me to finish with a joke, so excuse me for just a moment while I think of a really good one… *hurried fading footsteps*... *slamming door*... *car engine starting*... *tyres screeching*... *aeroplane taking off*... *dial tone*...

I’ll give you three clues to guess today’s brewery: 1. Sussex. 2. Small. 3. Batch. Oh, bugger, I’ve given it away there, haven’t I? Yes, it’s an always-welcome return for one of our mutual favourites today, our absolute top pick of all the small batch dessert stout specialist breweries from Sussex! It’s a surprisingly large field… (Ed. No, it isn’t, stop being silly) Anyway, it’s just the two from them this time, but don’t think that the smaller quantity means we’ve skimped on quality! Oh no! We’re just as terrible as ever! So, we promise to stay Topical this week and not get into any Sticky (Toffee) situations as we sample these delights! Dear me, even I’m appalled by that.

There was a cerulean darkness rolling in from the stormifying sea… a lone voice echoed across the mist, screeching out bone-chilling tones of doom as her ethereal form swept, hauntingly glowing, through the gathering night towards the shore… also, she was carrying some beers with her… it was THE WHITE HAAAAAG! Yeah, anyway, so we’ve got three Irish beauties for your aural delectation today: the Púca Dry Hopped Lemon Sour Pineapple, the Spree Series Super Split Orange Ice Cream Ale and the Glas Milkshake IPA Peaches & Cream. Wowzer, you’re getting your five a day with that fruity line-up! Disclaimer: Boozer & the Brain definitely does not condone you attempting to glean your daily vitamin and mineral intake from beer. Wink wink.

Hooray, it’s time to Play! And goodness knows, today we are connecting with our inner children, because this is the Tooth Fairy’s dream: the veritable diabetes-in-a-can that is the Gingerbread & Rainbow Choc Frosted Sugar Vanilla Stout is followed up by the nostalgia-tastic Cereal Milk & Chocolate Marshmallow and Coconut Beer. Who could say no to that?! Well, only grown-ups. Thankfully, there are none of those around here!

NEW BREWERY TIME! Christ, I love these… it gives some meaning to my existence! Today we’re exploring DEYA as they inform us that I Do This All the Time - good for them - and that they are Saturated in Strata. Which sounds like a euphemism. No, bad Brain, no! Naughty! Ugh, ok, fine; I’ll be sensible. Um… wow, struggling to imagine how that works, actually. Beers this week, new brewery, for the podcast not in real life, good nice, much fun everyone, listen please thank you. Goodnight!

Oh no. We’re about to have a puntastic prelude again, aren’t we?! Yes, unfortunately we’re reviewing Staggeringly Good again as we sample their wares: I Didn’t Ask for a Monster (I see - are you alright?), Bloo Goo Roo Wrecker (seriously now, are you ok?!) and Un-Bongo Wrecker (right, well that’s just plagiarism, isn’t it?!). Here we go… *sigh*... brace yourselves… tune in to find out if they are indeed staggeringly good! Ed. Come on now, Brain, you made that exact same joke last time! Let’s vary it up a bit, huh? Jesus, you’re losing your touch. Well, what little you had to begin with, anyway.

今週は日本を訪問します! [Konshū wa Nihon o hōmon shimasu!] And in other news, Brain has figured out how to use Google translate and is all excited (other internet search engines are available). In case you hadn’t surmised, we’re making our first foray into the fabulous world of Japanese craft beer, with two brewtiful beers from Hitachino Nest, the beer arm of Kiuchi Brewery. So sit back and wallow in our enjoyment of their Lacto Sweet Stout and Chocolate Berry Ale, and listen with bated breath to find out whether Brain can contain his inner otaku. Probably not, though.

Get ordering your favourite orange Chinese takeaway, because today we’re going sweet and sour! It’s a visit to New Bristol on the cards for us (not old Bristol, or contemporary Bristol, just to be clear), and we’ll be turning the heat back up on our old debate about whether it’s pastry or dessert sours as we sample their Cherry Pie & Vanilla Ice Cream Sour and Blueberry Pancake & Maple Syrup Sour. Yes, we’ve been good boys and eaten up all our greens, so it’s pudding time! We come to - I think - quite an interesting and perhaps slightly unexpected conclusion… find out all by pressing play. Or skip straight to the end for the spoiler if you can’t be bothered with all the fluff. And who can blame you, it’s mostly the Brain talking total flowery bollocks, as usual…

Right. Best behaviour. Definitely no lazy stereotyping this time, definitely. Today, children, we’ll be sampling a couple of double delights from our good friends North Brewing. We’ll be looking for a DIPA understanding of North’s beers, and hoping that Watching Light Move can lead us beyond our Fading Frontiers. In other news, I will once again be consulting with my legal team to make sure the Geneva Convention doesn’t cover puns. Chuffin’ grand beers though, like. Oh, damn and blast!

What’s that coming over the hill? Is it a monster special? Is it a monsteeeeer special? Yes, it is! We have no fewer than - wait for it - EIGHT beers on the menu today, a Boozer and the Brain record, because… well, any guesses? No, actually: it’s our first ever non-alcoholic beer episode! Take five, Boozer. Today we’ll be showcasing a range from non-alc specialists Big Drop, taking in - deep breath - Double Strike Sour, Uptime Craft Lager, Pine Trail Pale Ale, Paradiso Citra IPA, Fieldhopper Golden Ale, Woodcutter Brown Ale, Galactic Milk Stout and Off-Piste Hazelnut Porter! While I hyperventilate from saying that all in one go, why don’t you crack on and have a listen? Go on, you can even listen to this one while driving! Wow, even I think that gag was bad…

We’re back, baby! Yes, our hiatus is over, and your favourite beer-swilling pillocks – sorry, I completely misspelled ‘beer-appreciating connoisseurs’ there, didn’t I! – make their magnificent and eagerly awaited return to the airwaves as the Brain re-joins the waking world (sort of) and Boozer re-joins the drinking world. No, I don’t mean ‘re-joins’, do I? Anyway, we’re back with a bang and some Funky Fluid (dear God, please don’t read too much into that sentence). Today there’s a Modern Polish IPA and some Brown Sugar on the menu, so we’re going to polish them off and ask how come they taste so good… ah, it’s good to be back!

Ooh, you’re in for a treat today, friends, in every sense: it’s Sussex Small Batch, part three! Yes, our favourite dessert stout specialists return with three decadent delights in the form of their Zucotto, Bountiful and Salted Caramel Chocolate Stouts. This episode includes some quite recent new releases from SSB, which is rather exciting, so come and explore with us. And if you manage to get hold of any of these to drink along (which we of course always recommend for maximum listening pleasure), make sure you set your sweet tooth to the full ‘Sugar Coma’ setting while I issue a Code Yum tastiness warning. What on Earth am I on about…

You know what they say: keep your friends close, and their beers closer. I paraphrase, but it’s something along those lines. Speaking of which, today’s episode is taking in a bevvy of beauties (hee hee, geddit?) from our good friends, UnBarred! As you enjoying our dulcet tones wafting over you, waxing lyrical about their Citra Weiss and Mango Pale, you may be wondering, “are these two trying to do an episode on every beer UnBarred produce?” To which I put it to you thusly: so what if we are, and hang on a tick, because wouldn’t that be brilliant?! Why yes. Yes it would. Q, E, and furthermore, D.

Do you hear them? Do you hear them calling to you? We do - the Sirens have got us! They’re luring us into the Bubbling Bubbles, taking us on a Granola Coaster and drawing us into the dark abyss of a Midnight Stack. Ok, that felt a bit dramatic, but we don’t want these to be dull. You may have gleaned from context that this week we’re reviewing three beers from Siren Craft Brew, a mutually well-liked and amply-sampled brewery for us who somehow managed to escape an appearance in season 1. Unfortunately for them, we’re now putting that right.

Heeeyyyyy, dudes and dudettes, we’re gettin’ down and funky to a groovy new beat from New Bristol Brewery this week, so peace out! *Ahem*... goodness me, I do apologise, not sure where that came from; however, it’s true that there’s something of a chilled out, musical vibe to these three pales: Wonderland New England Pale, The Boogie Below Milkshake IPA and Mello Yello IPA. We’re very much hoping that last one is referring to the song, it must be said. So disco on down to the Brizzle of the boogie the beat and dig this happenin’ scene, maaan.

So many… nerdy jokes… can’t choose…! Oh, never mind, let’s just keep this one straightforward. This week we’re returning to Ireland’s greatest export that’s called The White Hag: The White Hag! Specifically, four exciting pastry stouts from their Dark Druid series (seriously, so many nerdy jokes!) - Salted Caramel, Chocolate Orange, Black Forest and Mexican Hot Chocolate. Why, it’s a veritable smörgåsbord, except with desserts instead of open sandwiches and other delightful hot and cold hors d’oeuvres. Sours month is over and it’s back to the sweets again, huzzah! So, dust off that sugar addiction and join us down in yummy town!