I'M NOT* SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.

What does it mean to hold onto your joy no matter where life takes you? This week, I sit down with my friend Dela Yado, a creative strategist and storyteller who has lived many lives and learned to embrace every twist and turn along the way. From navigating career shifts to overcoming personal challenges, Dela shares how he has found purpose in every chapter and why keeping joy at the center of it all has been his greatest strength.We dive into what it means to trust the journey, even when the road feels uncertain, and how staying open to new possibilities can lead to unexpected opportunities. Dela reflects on lessons learned from his experiences in marketing, sports, and media, as well as the moments that shaped his mindset and helped him find clarity. This episode is about movement, taking steps forward even when doubt creeps in, and believing that every experience, good or bad, is shaping the person you are meant to be.If you have ever questioned where you are headed or felt like life was pulling you in different directions, this one is for you. We talk about the power of self-belief, the importance of finding joy in the process, and how every challenge is an opportunity to grow.

In this episode of I'm Not Supposed To Be Here, I sit down with my friend Della Atherton, an actress whose journey is a testament to resilience, reinvention, and embracing the unexpected. Growing up on a horse ranch in a tiny town, Della always had her sights set on Hollywood, but the path to pursuing her dreams was far from linear. From childhood acting gigs to navigating the unpredictable world of the entertainment industry, she has faced moments of doubt, imposter syndrome, and the weight of expectations. But Della’s story is about more than just perseverance, it’s about staying open to life’s detours and saying yes to opportunities that don’t always look like what you imagined. In a surprising twist, what started as a side hustle led her to working on a true crime investigation, where she helped solve a 30-year-old cold case. That experience not only changed her perspective on storytelling but also reinforced the idea that every experience, no matter how unexpected, can shape our journey in meaningful ways. We dive into the emotions behind feeling like you don’t belong, the power of pushing forward despite uncertainty, and the beauty of trusting the process even when the destination is unclear. Della’s story reminds us that no matter how many times we feel like we’re in the wrong place, we’re often exactly where we need to be. So if you’ve ever felt lost, uncertain, or like your dreams were slipping away, this episode is for you. Keep moving forward, embrace the unknown, and trust that the right doors will open. The future is bright, and sometimes the best opportunities are the ones we never see coming.

In this episode of I’m Not Supposed To Be Here, I sit down with someone whose story truly left me in awe, Yvette Hollingsworth. If her last name sounds familiar, that’s because she’s married to Tony Hollingsworth, one of my first-ever guests who shared his incredible journey early on this podcast. Now, it’s Yvette’s turn, and her story is just as inspiring. Yvette’s life began in a way that feels almost like the start of a novel. She was born on the same day as her father’s funeral, a moment filled with both loss and hope, and this has shaped how she views life, legacy, and the importance of making the most of your time. From growing up in North Carolina to taking a leap of faith and moving to New York City, Yvette’s journey is a masterclass in resilience and determination. We dive into how she found her footing in the competitive world of film and television, her battles with feeling like you don't belong, and how she is carving out her own legacy, not just professionally but personally. Yvette’s story is filled with grit, vulnerability, and the wisdom that comes from pushing past fear and uncertainty. Whether you’re chasing a dream, questioning where you belong, or looking for inspiration to take your next step, Yvette’s journey is a powerful reminder that the paths we take often lead us exactly where we’re meant to be. This is an episode you don’t want to miss.

Happy New Year! Welcome back to I’m Not Supposed To Be Here, the podcast that dives into those “wait, how did I get here?” moments and shows how they can lead to incredible growth. In this episode, I’m joined by the inspiring Paige Desjardins. We dig into Paige’s bold move to Los Angeles, her leap into children’s media, and how she found her voice writing for hit shows like Mickey Mouse Funhouse and Alice’s Wonderland Bakery. Paige shares the highs, the lows, and what it’s like to build a creative career in an industry full of uncertainty. Along the way, she’s faced imposter syndrome, embraced big challenges, and even found a surprising new audience on TikTok, where her account, @paigeeatsgood, has taken off with honest, witty food reviews that keep fans coming back for more. If you’ve ever wondered what it takes to follow your gut, reinvent yourself, or turn unexpected detours into incredible opportunities, Paige’s story is sure to resonate. This is a conversation about courage, creativity, and finding joy in the journey. Start your year with inspiration—tune in now!

In this episode of I'm Not Supposed To Be Here, I get to hang out with my good friend Rob Lavin, and trust me, you’re in for a treat! Rob's story is all about embracing the unexpected, taking big leaps, and figuring things out along the way. From moving across the country with no real plan to jumping headfirst into a brand new industry, Rob's journey is full of surprises, heartfelt moments, and a ton of laughs. Come join us as Rob shares what it's like to navigate uncertainty, conquer fears, and find joy in the process. This isn’t your typical success story—it’s messy, it's real, and it's incredibly inspiring. Rob’s way of turning challenges into opportunities, combined with his open and honest reflections on the ups and downs, makes this episode one you won’t want to miss. If you've ever felt unsure about your path, Rob’s story will remind you that sometimes the detours lead to the best adventures. So buckle up for an unforgettable ride! Rob's story is packed with honesty, humor, and inspiration that will leave you feeling ready to take on whatever comes next. If you’re someone who loves a good adventure and wants to find meaning in the unexpected, this episode is definitely for you.

In this episode of I'm Not Supposed To Be Here, I’m catching up with my good friend Robert Kellner—an absolute pro at jumping into new challenges headfirst. Growing up in a small town in Florida, Robert was that guy who was always up to something, whether it was on the baseball field, the theater stage, or out chasing big dreams across the country. When life threw him curveballs, he didn’t just dodge them—he pivoted, reinvented, and found a new path each time. We talk through all the unexpected twists: from his days as a singer-songwriter and commercial actor in LA, to his transition into fitness and boxing, and now, his new chapter in real estate (following in the footsteps of his dad, who was a developer). Through it all, Robert’s fearless attitude has kept him pushing forward, chasing fulfillment, and never settling. And perhaps his most meaningful role of all—fatherhood. Robert opens up about what it means to him to be a dad, especially in the midst of life’s constant changes. For him, being a father isn’t just a role; it’s a purpose. We dive into how fatherhood has brought new depth and perspective to his life, driving him to be the best version of himself for his kids. This conversation dives deep into the spirit of trying something new, embracing the unknown, and building a life where change is the only constant. If you’re craving a little motivation to take that next big leap, or if you just want to hear some wild stories about the journey, tune in—you won’t want to miss this one!

On this episode of I’m Not Supposed To Be Here, I’m joined by the fearless and intuitive Aiko, who’s built her life on following her instincts and taking bold chances. Aiko shares what it’s been like to redefine her path in ways she never expected, from stepping away from academia to embracing the unpredictable world of acting and boxing. We dive into the highs, the hard pivots, and the strength it takes to trust the process—even when the road ahead is uncertain. This conversation is all about courage, reinvention, and the freedom that comes from acting on instinct. If you’ve ever wondered what it might be like to leave the familiar behind to chase something meaningful, this one’s for you.

In this episode of I’m Not Supposed To Be Here, I sit down with my close friend, Mary Lynch, for an incredibly heartfelt and raw conversation about chasing her dreams while navigating life’s toughest challenges. Born and raised in a small rural village in Ireland, Mary made the bold decision to move to Los Angeles to pursue a career in entertainment. But her journey hasn’t been an easy one. Mary opens up about the immense struggle of being far away from her family while dealing with her father’s early-onset Alzheimer’s diagnosis and her mother’s recent genetic heart condition. Mary also shares the emotional rollercoaster of her four-year journey to secure her U.S. green card—a process filled with countless setbacks, delays, and frustrating hurdles. From being told her visa was expiring and leaving her life in LA behind, to finally receiving approval just as her family faced yet another health crisis, Mary’s story captures the uncertainty and emotional strain of chasing a dream while life pulls you in other directions. Despite all these challenges, Mary’s family has remained her rock, fully supporting her decision to stay in Los Angeles and pursue her ambitions, even when health scares and emotional guilt weighed heavily on her. In this episode, we explore the complexities of balancing personal dreams with family responsibilities, and how Mary’s resilience, combined with the unwavering love and encouragement of her family, has kept her going through it all. This conversation is a powerful reminder of the sacrifices we make for our dreams and the strength it takes to keep moving forward, even when life throws its hardest challenges. Mary’s journey will resonate with anyone who’s ever struggled to find their place while staying connected to the ones they love.

On this episode of I’m Not Supposed To Be Here, I sit down with my good friend Tyler Dimich, a guy who’s as genuine as they come. We met through football a few years back, and it’s been nothing but good vibes ever since. Tyler has a knack for bringing positive energy to every room, but in this conversation, we dig a little deeper into the real stuff. Tyler shares his story of being thrust onto varsity football as a sophomore and questioning whether he truly belonged. And later, we dive into his experience leading a team at ESPN during the rollercoaster that was 2020. As the world grappled with change and unrest, Tyler was tasked with guiding his team through tough, uncharted waters, all while wrestling with his own sense of imposter syndrome. It’s those real moments of self-doubt, leadership, and trusting in the process that we explore deeply. If you’ve ever found yourself feeling like you’re in over your head or struggling to find your place, this conversation is for you. We talk about learning to trust the people who believe in you, the weight of responsibility, and the journey of realizing you’re more capable than you think. Tyler’s story is a reminder that even when it feels like you don’t belong, you might be exactly where you’re supposed to be. Join us for a heartfelt conversation about growth, resilience, and embracing those “I’m not supposed to be here” moments.

In this episode of I'm Not Supposed To Be Here, I sit down with Teresa Conrad—an ex-college athlete turned personal trainer, and one of the most down-to-earth people you’ll ever meet. Teresa’s journey didn’t exactly follow the traditional playbook, and that’s what makes it so relatable. We get into her days as a college softball player, the reality of figuring out what comes next when the game ends, and how she’s learned to roll with life’s punches. From career pivots to the pressure of where she "should" be at a certain age, Teresa talks candidly about how she’s found her own way—without always having it all figured out. This conversation is less about answers and more about the ride, with plenty of laughs, real talk, and a few unexpected moments. Whether you’re at a crossroads or just need a reminder that you’re not alone in figuring it all out, this episode is for you. Trust me, Teresa’s story will resonate in a way that sticks with you long after the episode ends. And if you’re looking for a personal trainer who brings that same no-nonsense, real-world approach, check out Teresa’s business, Conrad’s Coaching. Whether you’re looking to get stronger, lose weight, or find a fitness routine that works for your lifestyle, she’s got you covered. You can find her at www.conradscoaching.com, on Instagram at @conradscoaching, or on Facebook at Conrad’s Coaching.

In this episode of I'm Not Supposed To Be Here, I sit down with my dear friend Devon Price to talk about a pivotal moment in his life—leaving North Carolina with just $500 in his pocket and a one-way ticket to Los Angeles. It was a huge leap of faith, full of uncertainty, but also the start of something new and transformative. Beyond the big move, this conversation is about the journey of learning to navigate our emotions as we get older. Devon and I reflect on growing up in environments where showing emotion wasn’t always encouraged, and how that shaped our ability to connect with ourselves and others. Now, in adulthood, we’re both figuring out what it means to truly understand and express our feelings. We also talk about the power of a friendship that stands the test of time and life’s challenges—how having someone who really accepts you can make all the difference when you’re facing tough times. This episode is full of raw, honest moments about finding your footing, leaning on those who care, and learning to keep moving forward, even when it’s hard. If you’re looking for a conversation that’s real, relatable, and full of heart, this one’s for you. Thanks as always for being here!

In this episode of I'm Not Supposed To Be Here, I’m sitting down with my good friend Derek, a documentary filmmaker who’s mastered the delicate balance of telling powerful, real-life stories. From capturing the experiences of refugees to navigating the ethics of storytelling, Derek shares the challenges and responsibilities that come with bringing other people’s stories to the screen. We dive into what it means to handle sensitive topics with care, the pressures of getting it right, and the courage it takes to push past fear—both in filmmaking and in life. Derek’s journey is a powerful reminder that sometimes, the most meaningful stories are the ones that push us out of our comfort zones. Whether you’re passionate about storytelling or just looking for a dose of inspiration to face your own fears, this episode has something for you. Tune in for a conversation that’s as thought-provoking as it is inspiring.

In this episode of I'm Not Supposed To Be Here, I’m hanging out with one of my closest friends, Jon Atwell. We met totally by chance at a bar in LA when we were both new to the city, and since that night, we’ve been pretty much PIC's. Jon’s journey to LA has been anything but ordinary, and we’re chatting about all the twists and turns that brought him here. Plus, you’ll get to hear the crazy story of how he lost his front teeth—it’s as wild as it sounds. We also dive into his passion for Cactus Johnny, his clothing brand that’s just as unique and creative as he is. Jon and I keep things light and real, mixing humor with some genuinely heartfelt moments. It’s just two friends talking about life’s unexpected turns and the stories that come out of them. So, if you’re in the mood for some easygoing conversation and a few laughs, tune in and enjoy. You’ll feel like you’re right here with us.

Welcome back to "I'm Not Supposed To Be Here." I'm Matt Holguin, and I'm thrilled to be back with you all after a year and a half away. In this heartfelt episode, I share my journey through grief and healing after losing my beloved dog, Apollo. Apollo was more than just a pet to me; he was my rock and a source of unconditional love and joy. His loving and gentle spirit brought light to even my darkest days. In this episode, I open up about the invaluable lessons Apollo left behind—lessons in resilience, love, and living fully in each moment. Through memories of our adventures and the quiet strength he imparted, I find a renewed sense of purpose. I also want to thank you, the listeners, for your unwavering support and encouragement. The messages and stories you've shared reminded me that even when we feel alone, we are part of a larger tapestry of shared experiences. You've been my lifeline, weaving threads of encouragement that pulled me back to this podcast and gave me the courage to continue this journey. This new season is not just a continuation but a celebration of the community we've started building together. Whether you're a longtime listener or tuning in for the first time, I invite you to join me as we reconnect and embrace the idea that life’s unexpected turns often lead to the most meaningful destinations. Let’s celebrate Apollo’s legacy together and dive into a season filled with laughter, insight, and the kind of connection that only comes from sharing our stories. Press play, and let's embark on this journey together, remembering that sometimes, not being where you expected to be is exactly where you’re meant to be.

Back in 2017, I met a young dude with a huge smile and unlimited potential. Now, Nate DeVaughn is a father, a husband, and an entrepreneur making waves with his art.

caught up with the man himself, alex dubois, and had a good chat about self-confidence, remembering your value, and navigating life’s changes at your own pace.

this week I spoke to my good friend, Dara Firoozi, about making hard decisions, finding confidence, and being grateful for the journey.

THIS IS CRAZY. 

I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. EP. 16: YELA CAREY

I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. EP. 15: CARRIE ANN LATIMER