Not If I Reboot You First!

The legend of Tomyris (the legend) is kinda fascinating, but The Legend of Tomiris (the film) squanders those parts and manages to be really long and say very little about the title character or her people. Plus, y'know, there's just a dash of propoganda baked into it. But Tanner wants there to be a good film about this warrior queen, and Lindsay wants it to be a film that does justice to both parties (and becomes a better film about Kazakhstan than Borat). So let's send some documentarians off to 530 BCE and interview Tomyris and Cyrus in person! If you'd like to be on an episode, submit your pitch at https://forms.gle/DQiGdNRMFcz3po256. If you'd like to support the show directly, we have a Patreon along with the rest of the Corner Podcast shows at https://www.patreon.com/c/CornerPodcastNetwork. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake. Our email is NotIfIRebootYouFirst@gmail.com. If you would like to send us a friendship promo, or just give general feedback, feel free to contact us! Join our Discord at https://discord.gg/Hf8Y2yEJPe. You can find this podcast on BlueSky @NIIRYFPod, Lindsay @LindsayM476, and Tanner @SparkyUpstart.

Mega Man Star Force 4 only got as far as a concept, but it's enough of a concept for Tanner to spin into a whole pitch and game summary (which is good, because Lindsay knows almost nothing about any Mega Mans). They'll set the teenage blue bomber against systemic corruption while also discussing Capcom's Broad-Strokes universe, fitting tarot motifs, and flirting with your situationship's tsunderes as a bit. If you'd like to be on an episode, submit your pitch at https://forms.gle/DQiGdNRMFcz3po256. If you'd like to support the show directly, we have a Patreon along with the rest of the Corner Podcast shows at https://www.patreon.com/c/CornerPodcastNetwork. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake. Our email is NotIfIRebootYouFirst@gmail.com. If you would like to send us a friendship promo, or just give general feedback, feel free to contact us! Join our Discord at https://discord.gg/Hf8Y2yEJPe. You can find this podcast on BlueSky @NIIRYFPod, Lindsay @LindsayM476, and Tanner @SparkyUpstart.

Let's get a little meta today. Lindsay's not quite remaking Jamaica Inn so much as paying homage to it, with the tale of a woman using the book as a guide to explore all the English lore and history in Cornwall. But with some local cultists being haunted by the past and detesting the future, will the young lady make it out alive? And does this story have room for animal ghosts, the knights templar, and looming uncles? Only time will tell... If you'd like to be on an episode, submit your pitch at https://forms.gle/DQiGdNRMFcz3po256. If you'd like to support the show directly, we have a Patreon along with the rest of the Corner Podcast shows at https://www.patreon.com/c/CornerPodcastNetwork. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake. Our email is NotIfIRebootYouFirst@gmail.com. If you would like to send us a friendship promo, or just give general feedback, feel free to contact us! Join our Discord at https://discord.gg/Hf8Y2yEJPe. You can find this podcast on BlueSky @NIIRYFPod, Lindsay @LindsayM476, and Tanner @SparkyUpstart.

Point Break is a patently silly premise executed shockingly well? Why are we rebooting this? Well, it's not explicitly gay and we gotta change that. But that's not enough for an entire episode, so we also have to figure out ways to do things differently without disrupting the hyper-heightened atmosphere. Along the way we'll discuss unexpected places to develop film tech, Buseys all the way down, and NOT the remake from 2015 (it's not real and it can't hurt you). If you'd like to be on an episode, submit your pitch at https://forms.gle/DQiGdNRMFcz3po256. If you'd like to support the show directly, we have a Patreon along with the rest of the Corner Podcast shows at https://www.patreon.com/c/CornerPodcastNetwork. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake. Our email is NotIfIRebootYouFirst@gmail.com. If you would like to send us a friendship promo, or just give general feedback, feel free to contact us! Join our Discord at https://discord.gg/Hf8Y2yEJPe. You can find this podcast on BlueSky @NIIRYFPod, Lindsay @LindsayM476, and Tanner @SparkyUpstart.

The Lady Vanishes seems like a real outlier among the rest of Albert Hitchcock's works - maybe because he didn't write the story, or the script, and only fulfilled it out of contractual obligation. But it's still pretty solid! Just very wacky and slapstick for what advertises itself as a wartime spy thriller with actual gaslighting and suspect love interest. She'd prefer to push it in a more realistic direction, but there's still enough room for some cricket weirdos, a c***y nun, and Brits Who Love Dogs. If you'd like to be on an episode, submit your pitch at https://forms.gle/DQiGdNRMFcz3po256. If you'd like to support the show directly, we have a Patreon along with the rest of the Corner Podcast shows at https://www.patreon.com/c/CornerPodcastNetwork. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake. Our email is NotIfIRebootYouFirst@gmail.com. If you would like to send us a friendship promo, or just give general feedback, feel free to contact us! Join our Discord at https://discord.gg/Hf8Y2yEJPe. You can find this podcast on BlueSky @NIIRYFPod, Lindsay @LindsayM476, and Tanner @SparkyUpstart!

Years ago, Not If I Reboot You First started a Patreon just to help cover hosting costs, but we ended up putting it on ice because we felt we couldn't come up with enough bonus stuff to warrant it, and because we were both in positions were we could pay for podcast hosting anyway. Nowadays - well, we can still cover costs, but NIIRYF has become part of the Corner Podcast Network, alongside Loser Like Me, The Home for Wayward OCs, and occasional other shows like Faith Full and You, The Devil, and D&D. That's more pods to host, as well as editors and sometimes title card artists to pay. So we've revived the NIIRYF Patreon and converted it into the Patreon for the entire Corner Podcast Network. What does this entail? Right now, not much. Across our shows we've got a great fanbase, but it's not a huge one. We also know that times have been tough across the board. So at this time, this is basically a soft-launch of the patreon to see how it would go. We are starting at just one tier, worth $2. The reward for that tier is a shout-out. That's all! That's all we want to commit to right now. The discord and the guest submissions for the podcasts which have those will remain open to the public. Essentially, this is a tip jar and a audience reaction gauge. But if it goes well, we've discussed things like making bonus content, releasing episodes more often on our regular feeds for some shows, and doing audience participation - but that's all topics for later. ...Okay actually, let's talk about audience participation real quick. There's an upcoming episode of NIIRYF that can make use of some listener suggestions and prompts, so! If you subscribe to our Patreon before December 11th, 2025, you will get the chance to pitch a Mega Man boss that Tanner and Lindsay will discuss on air, and potentially decide to put into the hypothetical game they are pitching. This isn't going to be a regular patron benefit YET, it's just another soft-launch element, but again, we wanna see how people respond to it. If it seems popular, great! We'll see what we can do with that more often, maybe for other shows. If not, don't worry about it! We don't expect everyone listening to this to donate to our stuff, and anything we do get will go directly to covering hosting and editing costs. But knowing that other people are willing to invest in us would help us invest more in these shows ourselves. We don't dream of being full-time podcasters, but it would be great if we had the funds to reach a little higher, you know? And even if you can't support us monetarily, it would be a huge help to tell your friends about us - having a wider audience and bigger reach would be a major boon as well. No matter how this test goes, we appreciate everyone who has listened in the past and continues listening to us today. That's what you missed on the Corner Podcast Network - thanks for stopping by, and we hope to see you again - even if we reboot you first. Bye!

Animorphs was so great that some people definitely tried to make their own in the 90s, and one of those attempts was Mindwarp! It didn't succeed nearly as well, but Tanner thinks it's worth revisiting it's various interesting moments and clear plot hooks that never got expanded on thanks to a clearly hasty order to wrap things up. Together with Lindsay they'll expand it into a full tv series, all while discussing being the pyromaniac girl, divorce-ageddon, and putting a kid in a meat grinder. If you'd like to be on an episode, submit your pitch at https://forms.gle/DQiGdNRMFcz3po256! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake. Our email is NotIfIRebootYouFirst@gmail.com. If you would like to send us a friendship promo, or just give general feedback, feel free to contact us! Join our Discord at https://discord.gg/Hf8Y2yEJPe. You can find this podcast on BlueSky @NIIRYFPod, Lindsay @LindsayM476, and Tanner @SparkyUpstart!

Lindsay's Halloween episode is a little bit of a twist, as she's taking Terminator and looking at it through some new lenses, like Time Travel and Frankenstein. Can we break the cycle of bad parenting? Are we too queer to understand time loops and time spirals? And how will we address the Tron Ares Situation? This episode has no guest, but is inspired by a video from diamandahagan.bsky.social, and you can see it here: https://youtu.be/lQjQJMRSaXU?si=zYyzMaGVkwbuRdsc If you'd like to be on an episode, submit your pitch at https://forms.gle/DQiGdNRMFcz3po256. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake. Our email is NotIfIRebootYouFirst@gmail.com. If you would like to send us a friendship promo, or just give general feedback, feel free to contact us! Join our Discord at https://discord.gg/Hf8Y2yEJPe. You can find this podcast on BlueSky @NIIRYFPod, Lindsay @LindsayM476, and Tanner @SparkyUpstart.

Oh hey, it's time for our new annual tradition, rebooting a season of Penny Dreadful! In the second season we had to deal with witches, porcelain dolls, and some really baffling character decisions. Can we rectify it with Dracula canon, interconnected character arcs, and normal sex? If you'd like to be on an episode, submit your pitch at https://forms.gle/DQiGdNRMFcz3po256. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake. Our email is NotIfIRebootYouFirst@gmail.com. If you would like to send us a friendship promo, or just give general feedback, feel free to contact us! Join our Discord at https://discord.gg/Hf8Y2yEJPe. You can find this podcast on BlueSky @NIIRYFPod, Lindsay @LindsayM476, and Tanner @SparkyUpstart.

It's time for the annual Q&A! Sit back, relax, and listen as Tanner and Lindsay discuss rebooting bands, era specific media, and how to make cops not be cops. If you'd like to be on an episode, submit your pitch at https://forms.gle/DQiGdNRMFcz3po256.  Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake. Our email is NotIfIRebootYouFirst@gmail.com. If you would like to send us a friendship promo, or just give general feedback, feel free to contact us! Join our Discord at https://discord.gg/Hf8Y2yEJPe. You can find this podcast on BlueSky @NIIRYFPod, Lindsay @LindsayM476, and Tanner @SparkyUpstart.

Girls just wanna have fun. And sometimes, to have fun? You gotta game! Emily is taking the cultural entity known as Ready Player One and starting from scratch because this isn't just any old Fortinitified nostalgic cash grab - this is one for GIRLS. It's got PONIES and SHE-RA and NICHE PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR. That's right, girls aren't like other girls. They're REAL, and it's never too late to become one. This blurb got away from me... Emily can be found @pand.bsky.social! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake. Our email is NotIfIRebootYouFirst@gmail.com. If you would like to send us a friendship promo, or just give general feedback, feel free to contact us! Join our Discord at https://discord.gg/Hf8Y2yEJPe. You can find this podcast on BlueSky @NIIRYFPod, Lindsay @LindsayM476, and Tanner @SparkyUpstart.

Our friend Christina has returned with an observation: there are plenty of stories about what it's like to be a kid at the Xavier Mansion, but what if we got a story about what it's like being a teacher? For that matter, what if the teachers were actual teachers and not former X-Men shoved into that position? With that framework, Tanner and Lindsay are ready to create a handful of OCs and finally educate some of these mutants. Christina can be found on bsky @CWoodsArt@bsky.social! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake. Our email is NotIfIRebootYouFirst@gmail.com. If you would like to send us a friendship promo, or just give general feedback, feel free to contact us! Join our Discord at https://discord.gg/Hf8Y2yEJPe. You can find this podcast on BlueSky @NIIRYFPod, Lindsay @LindsayM476, and Tanner @SparkyUpstart.

This is a little bit of a self-congratulatory episode, but we really did never get a chance to talk about everything that went into making our 200th episode! So now that we've got our sea legs back, let's take a moment to look at some various bits and bobs from Mikey Crichts and Billy Shakes that Tanner used to assemble this script, and a little bit of insight into the themes of the story that make it lend itself to this style oh so well. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake. Our email is NotIfIRebootYouFirst@gmail.com. If you would like to send us a friendship promo, or just give general feedback, feel free to contact us! Join our Discord at https://discord.gg/Hf8Y2yEJPe. You can find this podcast on BlueSky @NIIRYFPod, Lindsay @LindsayM476, and Tanner @SparkyUpstart.

Tanner asked Lindsay to talk about her OT3 - no, her OTHER OT3. The one with Butch and Sundance! She doesn't think she can improve upon perfection (though Tanner would recommend changing the music), but she does want to expand on the third corner of the triangle - one Miss Etta Place, who...could be damn near anyone from that time! Allegedly. History is muddy. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake. Our email is NotIfIRebootYouFirst@gmail.com. If you would like to send us a friendship promo, or just give general feedback, feel free to contact us! Join our Discord at https://discord.gg/Hf8Y2yEJPe. You can find this podcast on BlueSky @NIIRYFPod, Lindsay @LindsayM476, and Tanner @SparkyUpstart.

Ah shit, here we go again. The tv adaptation of the Halo video game got cancelled just after they reached the titular Halo. How does our brother in Ryan plan on rectifying this? He's gonna make it take even LONGER to get there! Wait, what? Well, let him cook, and while he does Lindsay will ask about the messed up Spartan turbo-puberty and Tanner will determine which characters should kiss! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake. Our email is NotIfIRebootYouFirst@gmail.com. If you would like to send us a friendship promo, or just give general feedback, feel free to contact us! Join our Discord at https://discord.gg/Hf8Y2yEJPe. You can find this podcast on BlueSky @NIIRYFPod, Lindsay @LindsayM476, and Tanner @SparkyUpstart.

The challenges return (for real this time) with Lindsay tasking Tanner with doing an updated remake of the 90s cartoon Mummies Alive! Tanner tried to avoid doing a deep dive but still came out of this with a RIDICULOUS amount of notes on this because a) so much of the show feels like wasted potential due to it only getting 42 episodes and b) it spent 42 episodes on NONSENSE and SLAPSTICK. And making mockeries of the Egyptian gods. But we can refine it! We can make it a little more special! A little more character driven! And a little more a lot gayer! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake. Our email is NotIfIRebootYouFirst@gmail.com. If you would like to send us a friendship promo, or just give general feedback, feel free to contact us! Join our Discord at https://discord.gg/Hf8Y2yEJPe. You can find this podcast on BlueSky @NIIRYFPod, Lindsay @LindsayM476, and Tanner @SparkyUpstart.

Revenge of the Fifth! That means it's time to do a Star War once again. This time, it's The Last Jedi, a movie that Lindsay and Tanner generally think is the strongest of the sequel films - except for all the parts that don't work. But you know what, we can pivot and rearrange some parts to make the themes actually make sense this time around (without capitulating to angry boys). Lindsay kills the hero's journey, Tanner kills someone's arm, and they both kill Reylo. Stay tuned to the end for a special announcement... Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake. Our email is NotIfIRebootYouFirst@gmail.com. If you would like to send us a friendship promo, or just give general feedback, feel free to contact us! Join our Discord at https://discord.gg/Hf8Y2yEJPe. You can find this podcast on BlueSky @NIIRYFPod, Lindsay @LindsayM476, and Tanner @SparkyUpstart.

...but he's finally returned to us! And he brings an age-old tale of a soon looking for his father, gathering friends, learning what it means to be a man, and...engaging in various minigames? Yes, Benny has recruited Tanner and Lindsay onto his crew to turn the story of Telemachus into a video game where we get a secondhand view of the Odyssey. There will be twists and turns, a rant about the Bronze Age (affectionate), and it's gonna get kinda gay! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake. Our email is NotIfIRebootYouFirst@gmail.com. If you would like to send us a friendship promo, or just give general feedback, feel free to contact us! Join our Discord at https://discord.gg/Hf8Y2yEJPe. You can find this podcast on BlueSky @NIIRYFPod, Lindsay @LindsayM476, and Tanner @SparkyUpstart. Benny can be found on BlueSky @bennactive.bsky.social, and his podcast is @eurigarsfoc.bsky.social.

...but it's not that hard, y'know? Ever After High was a spin-off of Monster High about Fairy Tale characters, but as Harley makes clear it's also about fighting against conformity, choosing your own destiny, and girls being friends (honestly, huge). Lindsay and Tanner are gonna work with him to make this an actual full-length show, giving all these characters space to breath, looking a little more closely at the fairy tale origins, and plugging all those weird plot holes. Also, we collectively made a new OC! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake. Our email is NotIfIRebootYouFirst@gmail.com. If you would like to send us a friendship promo, or just give general feedback, feel free to contact us! Join our Discord at https://discord.gg/Hf8Y2yEJPe. You can find this podcast on BlueSky @NIIRYFPod, Lindsay @LindsayM476, and Tanner @SparkyUpstart. Harley can be found on BlueSky @iwritequeersins.bsky.social.

Oh no, there's flesh on the gunpla too...Tanner's taking it back to the 00s with their requel of Custom Robo, which had one game famous for the massive plot twist halfway through and another game that...was also released in the states. But maybe we can combine these things, use the lesser-known plot elements to bridge the gap, and make it a little gayer? Of course we will, you know us. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake. Our email is NotIfIRebootYouFirst@gmail.com. If you would like to send us a friendship promo, or just give general feedback, feel free to contact us! Join our Discord at https://discord.gg/Hf8Y2yEJPe. You can find this podcast on BlueSky @NIIRYFPod, Lindsay @LindsayM476, and Tanner @SparkyUpstart.