Poolside

Chris has a major case of RBF and Blake is upset that he's not more open-minded. The grocery store is now selling Jubes, and we're using Google to answer questions on the show. Wouldn't you know it, the real life super heroes are out on the street selling drugs. Chris is still funny, we promise. ⁠Make sure you follow the show on Twitter to stay up to date.⁠ Follow your hosts on Instagram and Twitter: Chris on ⁠Twitter⁠ and ⁠Instagram⁠ Blake on ⁠Twitter⁠ and ⁠Instagram

It's the kickoff for Season 3 - and it's completely unhinged from the start. Chris isn't afraid of any government agencies and he 100% will sacrifice you on a plane to save himself. Blake is worried that lifting too much is going to make them stupid and it's possible they're the George Costanza of the Seattle dating scene. Really, how often do your ears smell like cheese? Make sure you follow the show on Twitter to stay up to date. Follow your hosts on Instagram and Twitter: Chris on Twitter and Instagram Blake on Twitter and Instagram

Well, it's the end of another year - and another great season. Happy holidays! This episode is ad free as our gift to you. Blake and Chris have collaborated to solve the Texas gun problem - but only if you can fit it between your cheeks. Chris voted for Ric Flair but is happy Obama still won, and Blake continues to trick Chris into playing golf. There's just nothing like Caucasian sports. We're sorry Germany.  Make sure you follow the show on Twitter to stay up to date. Follow your hosts on Instagram and Twitter: Chris on Twitter and Instagram Blake on Twitter and Instagram Theme song: Road Hazard by Blue Wave Theory

SEASON 2 BABY! We made it - we'd like to thank the CDC, our girlfriends, and Chris's Mom for delaying our show and giving us a ridiculous hiatus. Don't worry though, Blake loses yet another fight with an inanimate object, Chris has ruined another wedding, and both the guys still agree that Little Caesars is the best pizza place. Oh, and we finally tell the story about White Chappelle.  Make sure you follow the show on Twitter to stay up to date. Follow your hosts on Instagram and Twitter: Chris on Twitter and Instagram Blake on Twitter and Instagram Theme song: Road Hazard by Blue Wave Theory

They can't even be bothered to write their own descriptions anymore - Hey everybody, it's Darren. Chris has managed to somehow become the most accomplished world traveler and hottest wedding guest ever (I still think he's secretly Pitbull's son). Blake might be dumber than they think they are, they sure as shit don't get math jokes. No idea why you guys would want their opinions on the best hot wings out there. Make sure you follow the show on Twitter to stay up to date. Follow your hosts on Instagram and Twitter: Chris on Twitter and Instagram Blake on Twitter and Instagram Theme song: Road Hazard by Blue Wave Theory

Look, we want to say that this episode has a focused effort to remain on topic - but we can't. It's got everything! The weight of eternal shame bears down heavy on Blake's shoulders as they have to live with the accidental manslaughter of an old woman via a badly timed fart at the local grocery store and Chris thinks his fellatio skills aren't really worth that much. Top all that off - Ghosts are haunting Chris's new apartment, Blake is attempting some sort of idiotic wardrobe challenge and neither one of them can remember why Mike Tyson has so much wisdom. Make sure you follow the show on Twitter to stay up to date. Follow your hosts on Instagram and Twitter: Chris on Twitter and Instagram Blake on Twitter and Instagram Theme song: Road Hazard by Blue Wave Theory

Blake and Chris have both been out of state for the last few weeks, on marvelous adventures! Not. Blake went to Vegas, and yes it's exactly as weird and disturbing as you've always heard. Chris freaked out on the plane because he was too large for the bathroom, also he keeps dipping into the water and that's just super not great? We've also got a rare peek behind the curtain at what exactly the hosts do to their families - torture them, mostly. Make sure you follow the show on Twitter to stay up to date. Follow your hosts on Instagram and Twitter: Chris on Twitter and Instagram Blake on Twitter and Instagram Theme song: Road Hazard by Blue Wave Theory

Somewhere deep in a central park of Seattle, two warring factions face off weekly to decide exactly who rules the streets. Chris discovers a terrible secret that will haunt him forever - and also encounters the two most aggressively heterosexual men that have ever existed at the same time in Disneyland. Blake almost shits themselves, and still can't believe people don't like Chumbawumba.  Make sure you follow the show on Twitter to stay up to date. Follow your hosts on Instagram and Twitter: Chris on Twitter and Instagram Blake on Twitter and Instagram Theme song: Road Hazard by Blue Wave Theory

Chris moved houses after getting broken into ten times - Blake does their best to help out with an ongoing existential crisis, and Darren continues to hate us both via our officially branded social media. Support us on Patreon or if you see us on the corner please don't laugh at our cardboard signs. If you've read this far we apologize for all the horrible spaghetti jokes next week. Chris is going to hunt a man. Make sure you follow the show on Twitter to stay up to date. Follow your hosts on Instagram and Twitter: Chris on Twitter and Instagram Blake on Twitter and Instagram Theme song: Road Hazard by Blue Wave Theory

New Year, New Idiots. Chris and Blake are back with their New Years Resolutions, and immediately get derailed with the most upsetting conspiracy theories since the rumors that Bigfoot hangs massive dong. Chris also regales us with an incredible story from his time as part of the pizza mafia in Detroit, Michigan and Blake misses when things were more gay. Make sure you follow the show on Twitter to stay up to date. Follow your hosts on Instagram and Twitter: Chris on Twitter and Instagram Blake on Twitter and Instagram Theme song: Road Hazard by Blue Wave Theory

We're back from our worldly travels - Chris won't stop shitting in stairwells, and Blake deals with a diminutive neighbor! For some reason we're worried about a chode-shaped house on the moon, space Nazi's are a legitimate threat, and airports are hellscapes. Tune in now for the best damn show you won't stop listening to. Make sure you follow the show on Twitter to stay up to date. Follow your hosts on Instagram and Twitter: Chris on Twitter and Instagram Blake on Twitter and Instagram Theme song: Road Hazard by Blue Wave Theory

Chris is back! And just a heads up, we completely unzipped him. Blake is along for the ride as Chris dumps his entire brain out on the floor and then we make a show out of it. This is not hyperbole either - Chris was literally on the floor in the fetal position for most of this episode. Make sure you follow the show on Twitter to stay up to date. Follow your hosts on Instagram and Twitter: Chris on Twitter and Instagram Blake on Twitter and Instagram Theme song: Road Hazard by Blue Wave Theory

Sometimes, there are calls to greatness. The right people answer. We are not those people. Chris accidentally discovered a nudist colony, Blake is worried they've seen too many penises, and we're trying to get sponsored by Tushy. Let's get weird. Make sure you follow the show on Twitter to stay up to date. Follow your hosts on Instagram and Twitter: Chris on Twitter and Instagram Blake on Twitter and Instagram Theme song: Road Hazard by Blue Wave Theory

Blake met Chris's Dad and can't believe how many people just lie on dating apps. Chris continues to be the family disappointment by not being able to play NBA 2K 2022 and we're officially rebranding the podcast. Make sure you follow the show on Twitter to stay up to date. Follow your hosts on Instagram and Twitter: Chris on Twitter and Instagram Blake on Twitter and Instagram Theme song: Road Hazard by Blue Wave Theory

The Chef and New Mic Boy team up for some philosophical discussions. Blake admits that cannibalism might be kind of cool, and Chris's brother keeps getting the wrong order at Home Depot. Also, should we be worried about the children? Make sure you follow the show on Twitter to stay up to date. Follow your hosts on Instagram and Twitter: Chris on Twitter and Instagram Blake on Twitter and Instagram Theme song: Road Hazard by Blue Wave Theory

We're back! Chris still hates California and Blake successfully moved the studio, but both of them forgot how to be entertaining, so we just fell down a millionaires stairs instead. We tried to take it easy on your ears - aside from Chris eating his microphone and Blake choking on creatine. Make sure you follow the show on Twitter to stay up to date. Follow your hosts on Instagram and Twitter: Chris on Twitter and Instagram Blake on Twitter and Instagram Theme song: Road Hazard by Blue Wave Theory

We've been contacted by specialists, magicians, and wizards this week. Blake is in love with a cactus and the MCU has nothing on Chris and his legendarily perilous bathroom adventures. Also, we'll pay you to listen to the podcast. Make sure you follow the show on Twitter to stay up to date. Follow your hosts on Instagram and Twitter: Chris on Twitter and Instagram Blake on Twitter and Instagram Theme song: Road Hazard by Blue Wave Theory

Blake's haunted, Chris gets physical with the police, and we get thrown out of a bar. We're no longer soupy but it's readily apparent that we need some form of supervision. Preferably not by ICE. Can't get double America'd. Make sure you follow the show on Twitter to stay up to date. Follow your hosts on Instagram and Twitter: Chris on Twitter and Instagram Blake on Twitter and Instagram Theme song: Road Hazard by Blue Wave Theory

Our levels of chaos peak this week with Chris running the show and Blake's brain slowly transforming into soup due to a freak heat wave. The only thing that kept the mics from melting was 4 industrial fans that Chris stole from somebody's porch. Make sure you follow the show on Twitter to stay up to date. Follow your hosts on Instagram and Twitter: Chris on Twitter and Instagram Blake on Twitter and Instagram Theme song: Road Hazard by Blue Wave Theory

Chris is obsessed with tools this week, Blake can't stop advertising the podcast, and then they both agree that billboards are out to get them. Fascinating stuff. Make sure you follow the show on Twitter to stay up to date. Follow your hosts on Instagram and Twitter: Chris on Twitter and Instagram Blake on Twitter and Instagram Theme song: Road Hazard by Blue Wave Theory