Securely Attached

Joining me is Ash Brandin, educator and author of Power On: Managing Screen Time to Benefit the Whole Family. Ash brings a fresh, nonjudgmental perspective to how families can navigate technology with intention and respect.   Together we explore:   - Why the “less is better” approach to screens often creates guilt and power struggles, plus a strategy that is more effective. - How to use Ash’s “ABCs of screen time” framework (access, behavior, and content) to make intentional choices that meet everyone’s needs. - The importance of respect and collaboration in setting screen boundaries (and boundaries in general) which help kids learn to be active participants, not passive rule-followers. - How video games are a form of play that, used intentionally, can build autonomy, resilience, and connection. - Practical strategies to help kids notice their internal states, regulate emotions, and transfer those skills beyond screens.   Whether you’re navigating video games, phones, or family movie nights, this conversation offers practical tools and a compassionate perspective to help your whole family build a healthier relationship with technology.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.thegamereducator.com/ 📚 Power On: Managing Screen Time to Benefit the Whole Family 📚 The Gamer Educator Substack    FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@thegamereducator 📱@drsarahbren   ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 I’m so excited to be partnering with PokPok to offer you an exclusive discount. You’ll get 25% off, plus a 7-day free trial to see how it works for your family. Go to drsarahbren.com/pokpok and introduce your child to screen time that feels more like playtime.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about regulation and screen time with Alé Duarte   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about EdTech with Andy Liddell   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how smartphones really affect kids’ mental health with Dr. Wendy Rote   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about battling over screen time with The Screentime Consultant Emily Cherkin

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   Why your child may not calm down, even when you lead with empathy and connection. How to redefine what it means for a strategy to “work” in the heat of the moment. The role of patience and presence when your child’s nervous system just isn’t ready to shift. Why successful co-regulation doesn’t always mean a calm child. How to disengage without disconnecting—and why that can sometimes be the most effective approach. Practical ways to support yourself so you can stay regulated when your child isn’t.   If you’ve ever tried "all the right things" and still found yourself stuck with a child who can’t calm down, this episode will help you feel validated, supported, and grounded in what you can (and can’t) control.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉 Want games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my free guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages!     ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the psychology of dysregulation with Cara Goodwin   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about raising emotionally resilient children with Dr. Kristen Lindquist     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Parenting in the middle years (ages 5–12) comes with big feelings, new social pressures, and challenges parents don’t always see coming. Alyssa Blask Campbell, author of the new book, Big Kids, Bigger Feelings, joins me this week to unpack the emotional, social, and developmental shifts of the middle years.   Together we explore:   The ninth sense: neuroception. How this rarely talked about sense shapes kids’ feelings of safety, belonging, and regulation. What it means to support kids based on their unique nervous system and sensory profile (and why one-size-fits-all strategies don’t work). How to replace control with curiosity to strengthen connection and reduce conflict. The role of social belonging, identity, and “fitting in” during the elementary years—and why what feels small to us can feel huge to them. Practical tools for navigating anxiety, dysregulation, and big feelings in ways that foster resilience and confidence.   Big kids really do have bigger feelings—and this episode will leave you with fresh insights, concrete strategies, and a sense of clarity as you support your child through these transformative years.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.seedandsew.org/    🎧 Listen to the Voices of your Village podcast   🤔 Take the Seed and Sew Regulation Questionnaire - seedquiz.com    📚Tiny Humans, Big Emotions: How to Navigate Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Defiance to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children   📚 Big Kids, Bigger Feelings: Navigating Defiance, Meltdowns, and Anxiety to Raise Confident, Connected Kids   🎧 140. How understanding our child's sensory sensitivities can help us strength their emotional intelligence with Alyssa Blask Campbell     FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@seed.and.sew 📱@drsarahbren     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉🏻 Want games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my free guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages!   ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Polyvagal Theory and using the nervous system to wire our children for resilience with Seth Porges   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about understanding sensory sensitivities with occupational therapist Laura Petix   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions with Dr. Eli Lebowitz   🎧Listen to my podcast episode about school refusal with Dr. Erica Miller  

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   Why intentionality and authenticity are the most important tools when building new relationships with kids. How to manage nerves, regulate your own emotions, and follow the children’s lead so the interaction feels natural and comfortable. Practical strategies for structuring the first meeting (think short, sweet, semi-structured, and supervised) to set everyone up for success. How to consider the larger family context, including co-parenting dynamics and whether a conversation with the children’s dad could be helpful. Why keeping expectations realistic and aiming simply for “they’d like to see me again” can take the pressure off and allow genuine connection to grow over time.   Whether you’re stepping into a blended family yourself, supporting a partner who is, or just curious about how kids adjust to new relationships, this episode offers insight, validation, and practical takeaways to make those first meetings a little less daunting—and a lot more positive!     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉🏻 Interested in joining a weekly virtual support group for women navigating divorce? Led by an experienced therapist, this group offers a safe space to process emotions, gain support, and build strategies for moving forward. To learn more or join the waitlist, visit upshurbren.com/group-womensdivorce or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to see if this group is the right fit for you.     ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode busting myths about divorce with Michelle Dempsey-Multack   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to navigate divorce or separation while prioritizing secure attachment with Una Archer   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether or not you want to choose to “nest” during separations     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Joining me is Dr. Stuart Ablon, a psychologist, Harvard Medical School professor, founder and director of Think:Kids at Massachusetts General Hospital, and author of several books, including Changeable: How Collaborative Problem Solving Changes Lives at Home, at School, and at Work.   Together we explore:   Why kids’ struggles are more about lagging skills than lack of motivation. The importance of empathy, co-regulation, and relationship-building in reducing conflict. The 3 “plans” parents can choose from when kids aren’t meeting expectations—and how to use them effectively. How Collaborative Problem Solving offers a structured yet compassionate alternative to “tough love” or “gentle parenting.” Practical ways to use this approach proactively and in the heat of the moment. How practicing this method not only improves behavior, but also fosters resilience, flexibility, and stronger parent–child bonds.   Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or clinician, this conversation offers practical tools and a fresh perspective to help you support kids with understanding, structure, and collaboration   LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.stuartablon.com/ 🔗 https://thinkkids.org/  📚 Changeable: How Collaborative Problem Solving Changes Lives at Home, at School, and at Work 💻 Tedx Talk    FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@thinkkidscps 📱@drsarahbren   ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉 Dr. Ablon has generously shared an amazing parenting resource with us. Visit https://thinkkids.org/Self-Paced-Courses/Parent-Caregiver-Course/ and use Code: SecurelyAttached to get access to this course for ✨FREE✨ Available in both English and Spanish.   💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I’ll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.   📚 The Explosive Child: A New Approach For Understanding And Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children       CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 328. The neuroscience of raising emotionally resilient kids: Supporting your child’s emotional growth and regulation with Dr. Kristen Lindquist     🎧24. The psychology behind dysregulation with founder of Parenting Translator Cara Goodwin     🎧06. Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom   🎧318. The neuroscience of control: Helping kids cope with stress and become self-driven with Dr. William Stixrud

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...   How to step back and figure out if (and when!) you’re interfering in your child’s play. Practical strategies to set up your home environment so independent play can actually thrive. The surprising “sweet spot” number of toys that leads to longer, more engaging play. What a “yes space” is—and how it can support your child’s growth through play. How to set realistic expectations, and what to do if you’re looking for a balance between being fully uninvolved and slightly engaged. The difference between “alone play” and “independent play.” What are the best toys and activities that actually encourage independent play (and how to tell if a toy is worth it). The developmental tasks by age that you can lean on to foster longer stretches of play.   If you’ve ever wondered how to encourage your child to play on their own (without guilt, overwhelm, or resorting to endless screen time), this episode is packed with perspective, validation, and practical tools to help you get there.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   🔗 RAD Furniture (R.A.D. Children's Furniture) - Dr. Sarah's favorite place to get Pikler triangles and other play furniture for incouraging gross motor development   🔗 MakeDo – Dr. Sarah's go-to birthday gift, open-ended construction tools (screws, saws, screwdrivers, etc.) for building   🔗 Magna-Tiles – Both Dr. Sarah and Dr. Emily's kids love these magnetic building tiles (pro tip: put a bin with these on the floor to make them easier for kids to access on their own!)   🔗 Doctor’s Kit Play Set, Vet's Kit Play Set, and Cleaning Play Set - Toys that help them play with and work through concepts from their own life     ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode answering the question, is there a wrong way to encourage independent play?   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering independent play with The Workspace for Children's Lizzie Assa   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the benefits of play with Jennie Monness   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to use a RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers) approach in your parenting with Janet Lansbury   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the importance of play for adults and using it as a tool to prevent burnout with Mike Rucker     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Most of us got the puberty talk—but almost no one got the menopause talk. It’s time to change that. And Dr. Lauren Streicher is here this week to do just that!   Together we explore:   Why menopause is a whole-body experience, not just “hot flashes and periods stopping.” What perimenopause actually is, when it starts, and why the definition of menopause itself is outdated. How mood changes, anxiety, and sleep issues are often hormone-driven—and why SSRIs aren’t always the right first step. Why shame and secrecy around menopause and sexuality have left so many women in the dark. How to talk to our daughters (and sons!) about the full reproductive life cycle from puberty through menopause, without stigma or shame. The difference between misinformation online and evidence-based solutions—and red flags to watch for when seeking care. What questions to ask your doctor to know if they’re truly menopause-informed. Why preparing before symptoms begin can empower women to feel confident, validated, and supported in midlife and beyond.   Menopause is so much more than the stereotypes we’ve been taught and this episode will leave you with clarity, tools, and a sense of empowerment to navigate this transition with confidence.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.drstreicher.com/  📚 https://drstreicher.substack.com/  🎧 Dr. Streicher’s Inside Information: Menopause, Midlife, and More     FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@drstreich 📱@drsarahbren     ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 https://menopause.org/  📚 https://vajenda.substack.com/  📚 https://drstreicher.substack.com/p/cherry-picking    👉 Are you navigating the emotional or identity shifts that come with menopause—or any of life’s big transitions? At Upshur Bren Psychology Group, we specialize in helping women feel grounded, supported, and empowered during times of change. Whether you’re struggling with mood, identity, relationships, or simply the uncertainty of “what’s next,” we’re here to help. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more about support options or schedule a free consultation call so we can share recommendations for a personalized plan to meet your unique needs.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧226. Pelvic care, energetic healing, and body wisdom: Taking a holistic approach to women's health with Tami Lynn Kent    🎧 80. How a sex therapist strives to raise her children to be sex positive: Unpacking developmentally appropriate expectations, boundaries, body autonomy, and consent with Dr. Holly Richmond    🎧36. Maternal mental health throughout pregnancy and parenthood with birth doula Carson Meyer   🎧150. Bridging ancient wisdom and modern science with yoga therapist Nicole Katz

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   Whether it’s developmentally normal for kids to start asking about death—even when there hasn’t been a recent loss. How much our own histories with grief, trauma, and cultural beliefs shape the way we respond when those questions come up. Why using euphemisms like “went to sleep forever” or unclear statements like "passed away" may actually create more anxiety for children instead of comfort. How to find the balance between honesty and reassurance when the questions feel bigger than the answers. Why kids sometimes ask the same hard questions over and over—and what they might really be seeking. What to make of it when a child doesn't seem to feel the weight and seriousness of death.   If your child has ever asked “Are you going to die?” and left you speechless, this episode offers perspective, validation, and concrete tools to help you navigate these profound conversations with calm and compassion.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉 Are you coping with grief and loss, or looking for parenting support to help you navigate tough conversations like the ones we discussed in this episode? Visit upshurbren.com to learn about the therapy and coaching services at Upshur Bren Psychology Group or CLICK HERE to schedule a free call to connect with a member of our care team about your family’s unique needs.     ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to Part 1 and Part 2 of my podcast episodes about navigating conversations about death with Rabbi Steve Leder   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about processing death with death doula Heather Hogan   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about supporting a grieving child with Dr. Dan Wolfson Y     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Claire Lerner joins me to talk about how we can best support “big reactors” — highly sensitive children who experience the world with heightened intensity, passion, and emotion.   Together we explore:   Why trying to “change” a child often backfires — and why shifting our own approach can spark real change. How to recognize when your child’s explosive behavior is driven by overwhelm, rigidity, or a need for control. The difference between masking and thriving, and why kids may act very differently at home than at school. What it means to be your child’s “rock” during meltdowns and how to hold limits without fueling the fire, How to create structure and predictability that helps sensitive kids feel safe and more flexible. Why consistency matters more than quick results — and what to expect before things get better. Practical, real-life strategies for navigating transitions, setting boundaries, and reducing daily battles.   Whether you’re parenting a highly sensitive child or you just want to strengthen your connection and reduce the chaos at home, this conversation will give you validation, hope, and tangible tools to help your child — and your whole family — thrive.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.lernerchilddevelopment.com/ 📚 Big Reactors: Practical Strategies for Parenting Highly Sensitive Children   FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: 📱 @lernerchilddevelopment 📱 @drsarahbren     ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:   👉 Click HERE for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child’s dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment.   👉 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills in your sensitive child? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program to help you parent your unique child in a way that increases cooperation, defuses power struggles, and rebuilds their trust in your authority–all while supporting your child’s mental health and your own.      CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 129. Q&A: How can I support my sensitive, "spicy," highly emotional child?   🎧 135. Q&A: What can I do when all the "rules" for setting limits don't work for my sensitive kid?   🎧 173. Q&A: Preventing burnout when you have a sensitive child

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...   Why sleep challenges often emerge around age 3 (Hint: developmental leaps, dropped naps, and growing imaginations all play a role). How to differentiate between bedtime battles, middle-of-the-night wake-ups, and nightmares—and why the strategies might look different for each. Practical ways to set limits and routines with confidence so kids feel safe and contained, rather than running the show. Special considerations for twins, including when it might make sense to separate them temporarily at night. How to care for yourself as a parent during exhausting phases, so you can show up with more calm and confidence.   If bedtime has turned into a nightly struggle in your home, this episode offers validation, perspective, and concrete tools to help everyone get a little more rest.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   😴 Struggling with toddler bedtime battles? Download my ✨FREE✨ Toddler Sleep Guide with 7 concrete strategies backed by peer-reviewed research and anecdotally tested in my own practice, that you can implement with your children today to turn your bedtime struggles into solutions.     ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about getting your child to stay in their own bed with Eileen Henry   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using your attachment relationship to help your toddler fall asleep with Eileen Henry   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting multiples with Kristin Revere     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Family law attorney and certified divorce financial analyst Lisa Zeiderman joins me to talk about how parents can navigate separation, divorce, and custody decisions with clarity, confidence, and a focus on their child’s well-being.   Together we explore:   The different legal pathways for separation and divorce (including mediation, collaborative law, and litigation) and how to determine which may be right for your family. Common dynamics that can make self-advocacy harder, such as power imbalances, high-conflict relationships, or emotional manipulation. What it means to “foster” a relationship between your child and their other parent—and why courts prioritize this. How to set your child up for emotional success, even when the co-parenting relationship is strained. Tangible behaviors that courts (and kids!) recognize as supporting healthy co-parenting. Ways to support your child’s sense of voice and agency throughout the process—whether that’s through therapy, routines, or even court-appointed advocates. Resources and recommendation of support systems and products that can help parents co-parent more effectively.   Whether you're already in the thick of it or just starting to consider what the future may hold, this conversation offers guidance and grounding for navigating family transitions with thoughtfulness and care.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://lisazeiderman.com/ 📚 https://lisazeiderman.com/blog/     ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:   👉 If you're currently in the midst of separation, moving forward after divorce, or adjusting to life post-split, Upshur Bren Psychology Group's weekly virtual Divorce Process Group for Women provides a safe space for women to process their emotions, gain support, and build strategies for moving forward. Visit https://upshurbren.com/group-womensdivorce or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more.   🔗 Our Family Wizard - The leading app for more peaceful co‑parenting     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 42. Busting divorce myths and breaking down the true affect it has on children: A conversation with Michelle Dempsey-Multack    🎧 322. Navigating divorce or separation through a family systems approach: Preventative steps to reduce the risk of insecure attachment with Una Archer   🎧 277. Q&A: Is “nesting” during a divorce better for your kids?  

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   Whether or not to address a racial slur your child heard in a song when you're not sure whether or not they picked up on it, and fear you may call attention to it unnecessarily. How to explain the difference between swearing and slurs, and the importance of giving kids context and language around both. Dr. Rebecca shares stories of how similar topics have come up in her own family and how she handled them with her kids. Why just saying "don't say it" can miss the mark for kids. The role of tone, timing, and developmental stage when introducing complex and sensitive topics. How to make it feel safe to make mistakes and learn from them     ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child is swearing   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about bias, cultural identity, and diversity with Dr. Dana E. Crawford   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting styles across cultures with Dr. Miguelina German     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Becoming a grandparent is a major shift and yet, it’s rarely talked about in a way that honors the complexity of this role. In this episode, I’m joined by Carol Merle-Fishman to explore the emotional, psychological, and relational shifts that occur when someone becomes a grandparent and how this transition can impact the entire family system.   Together we unpack:   Why grandparenthood is actually a developmental stage of its own. How expectations, unspoken grief, and shifting identities can create tension or disconnection in relationships. Ways adult children can support their parents and in-laws through the grandparenting transition and how grandparents can honor and respect their children's wishes. How to set boundaries with empathy and clarity while nurturing strong multigenerational bonds. The importance of emotional reflection for grandparents navigating this new chapter of life.   Whether you're preparing to become a grandparent, are already in this role, or are a parent looking to better understand and support the grandparents in your life, this episode will offer a compassionate and practical lens for navigating this powerful and often overlooked transition.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:   🔗 https://carolmerlefishman.com/    🎧 104. Becoming a grandparent: Embracing the complicated identity shifts that come when your baby has a baby with Carol Merle Fishman     ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:   👉🏻 Becoming a grandparent can bring up big emotions and big questions. Go to upshurbren.com/becomingagrandparent to download my free interactive workbook, Reflecting on Grandparenthood, to help you process the identity shifts, set healthy boundaries, and navigate this transition with clarity, compassion, and confidence. Or forward this episode along to the grandparents in your life.   🔗 https://www.morethangrand.com/     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 89. Fostering deep and meaningful relationships: How to resolve conflict, prioritize our needs, and set appropriate boundaries with Dr. Rick Hanson   🎧 102. Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with Dr. Miriam Steele   🎧 52. Setting boundaries with your parents and in-laws: Navigating family dynamics with Dr. Emily Upshur   🎧 279. Q&A: How can I maintain a relationship with my mom who has extremist political views?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...   What to do if your child is assigned a teacher whose style may not seem like the best match. How to advocate for your child in a way that supports collaboration and avoids conflict. Why starting the school year with a proactive email to the teacher can set the tone for a strong partnership. The surprising benefits a strict or “old school” teacher might actually offer sensitive kids. How to prepare your child to advocate for themselves, build resilience, and navigate new classroom dynamics. What to do if things don’t go as hoped—and how to intervene effectively if your child truly isn’t thriving in the classroom.   If you’re feeling anxious about the upcoming school year and unsure how to support your child through a potentially tricky teacher match, this episode will help you feel more grounded, empowered, and ready to approach it with openness and confidence.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉🏻 Do you have a sensitive child? Learn more about Parenting by Design, my guided program for increasing behavioral and emotional regulation in sensitive kids.   👉🏻 Learn more about how a one-time or short-term parenting coaching session at Upshur Bren Psychology Group can help you navigate back-to-school transitions, teacher mismatches, and other challenges. You can also schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the right support for your family’s unique needs by going to upshurbren.com/calendar.     ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what it feels like to be a 10-year-old going back to school   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why boys and girls need different things with Michael Gurian   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the myth of learning styles with Dr. Dan Willingham   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child refuses to go to school    🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Psychiatrist, author, and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) expert Dr. Blaise Aguirre joins me to talk about how we can help kids—especially emotionally sensitive ones—understand, process, and reframe internalized messages of self-criticism and even self-hatred.   Together we explore:   Why even well-loved and supported kids can develop a sense of being “unlovable” How emotional sensitivity can make children more vulnerable to misattunement, comparisons, and internalized shame The difference between skills-based therapy (like DBT) and addressing the deeper emotional roots of suicidality and self-loathing What parents can do in the “before, during, and after” of tough parenting moments to promote co-regulation and connection Why simply telling a child they are wonderful may backfire—and what to say instead How to recognize if your child is living in a distorted self-narrative, and how to gently interrupt that cycle Practical strategies for helping kids build emotional awareness, distress tolerance, and a more compassionate self-concept Why your own nervous system regulation is essential—and how DBT teaches us to regulate before we reflect   Whether your child is currently struggling with self-esteem or you just want to shore them up now to minimize this risk in the future, this episode will leave you with powerful insights and tangible tools for helping them feel seen, supported, and deeply understood.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:   🔗 https://www.mcleanhospital.org/treatment/3east  📚 I Hate Myself: Overcome Self-Loathing and Realize Why You're Wrong About You 📚 DBT For Dummies 📚 DBT Workbook For Dummies (For Dummies: Learning Made Easy)     ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:   👉🏻 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills in your sensitive child? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program to help you parent your unique child in a way that increases cooperation, defuses power struggles, and rebuilds their trust in your authority–all while supporting your child’s mental health and your own.      CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 27. What do you do when your child says “I’m stupid,” “I hate myself,” “I’m a bad kid,” or worse?    🎧 129. Q&A: How can I support my sensitive, "spicy," highly emotional child?    🎧 316. Self-compassion, critical thinking, and connection: What the research reveals about raising capable kids with Melinda Wenner Moyer   🎧 318. The neuroscience of control: Helping kids cope with stress and become self-driven with Dr. William Stixrud   🎧 307. Q&A: My toddler is so sensitive that even when I’m being silly with him, he loses it. What can I do?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...   Regardless of whether your child is experiencing sensory sensitivities or anxiety, our goal is the same - helping you define exactly what that goal is. Where do anxiety and sensory sensitivities overlap? (Spoiler: A lot of this boils down to nervous system regulation.) How you can help your child understand what their unique triggers are and the tools and strategies that can help them navigate these without so much distress. What to consider to help you if it’s time for an intervention, like occupational therapy, parenting support, individual therapy for your child.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉🏻 Are you parenting a child with anxiety or OCD and looking for tools to support them? CLICK HERE to learn more about Upshur Bren Psychology Group's SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) program or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to see if it’s the right fit for your family.   🔗 https://www.spacetreatment.net/   📚 Breaking Free of Child Anxiety & OCD: A Scientifically Proven Program for Parents by Eli R. Lebowitz, PhD     ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions with Dr. Eli Lebowitz   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether your child's hitting might be a sign of aggression or sensory seeking   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about understanding your child's sensory sensitivities with Alyssa Blask Campbell     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Neuroscientist and psychologist Dr. Kristen Lindquist joins me for a fascinating conversation about how children develop emotional regulation — and how we as parents can support that growth not just through what we say, but how and when we say it.   Together we explore: Why the ability to feel and name emotions is something children build slowly over time — and what role parents play in that process. What neuroscience reveals about how the brain develops emotional literacy from infancy through adolescence (and even into adulthood!) How emotion regulation is like a “software update” that builds on the brain’s existing “hardware.” Why the timing of emotional teaching matters — and how to use the “before” and “after” moments (not the meltdowns themselves!) for the most impact. How tools like play, books, and nonverbal attunement can build emotional awareness without overwhelming sensitive or avoidant kids. The role of interoception — our sense of internal bodily cues — in helping kids (and adults) understand and manage what they feel.   If you’ve ever tried to label your child’s feelings mid-tantrum and been met with more screaming, or felt unsure how to help your child build real coping tools, this episode will help you take a science-backed, developmentally informed approach that fosters connection and long-term resilience.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.kristenalindquist.com/ 🔗 https://psychology.osu.edu/people/lindquist.83     ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:   👉🏻 Want more games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my ✨FREE✨ guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages!   👉🏻 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills so you can get back to enjoying parenthood? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program for increasing behavioral and emotional regulation in sensitive kids.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 24. The psychology behind dysregulation with founder of Parenting Translator Cara Goodwin   🎧 06. Teaching children emotion regulation skills through coregulation with Dana Rosenbloom   🎧 202. Regulation, reward systems, and rest: Rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...   How to prepare a toddler for a parent’s surgery or temporary physical limitations in a way that is honest, concrete, and not scary. Creative, developmentally appropriate ways to help your child understand and process upcoming changes to routines—like playtime, bedtime, or physical closeness. The power of play, role-playing with toys, and using analogies to help kids grasp abstract concepts. What to expect behaviorally from your child during your recovery and strategies for responding to potential regressions or increased irritability. How to reframe this period as a chance to foster independence and pride in your child while still maintaining connection. The surprising importance of shifting focus to what you still can do with your child, and how to create new, meaningful rituals during a difficult time. Why prioritizing your own healing—both physically and emotionally—is one of the most supportive things you can do for your child.       ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to understand toddlerhood with the authors of the Terrific Toddlers series   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to tell your toddler you're pregnant   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about telling your toddler about a miscarriage     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Chelsea Skaggs is here to talk about how couples can keep your romantic relationship strong as you move beyond from early stages of survival mode deeper into parenthood.   Together we explore:   How the demands of parenting shift as your children grow, and what that means for your romantic connection. Tips for getting your partner on board if only one of you feels ready to work on deepening your connection. Simple and practical strategies for attuning to your partner and "reading" the room for your best chance of success feeling a deepened connection. Navigating mismatched energy levels and intentions so bids for connection aren’t thwarted. A power tool anyone can implement right away that can be help you to break out of reactive patterns. How your own nervous system regulation can be a starting point for closeness, including what polyvagal theory teaches us about this. Addressing resentment as a signal of unmet needs—and how to get to the root rather than staying stuck in this toxic loop. Why it’s essential to focus on what’s within your control and give yourself permission to care for yourself, instead of blaming your partner for meeting their needs.   If you’re ready to move beyond just getting through the day and reconnect with your partner in a deeper way, this conversation is for you.     LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 https://www.postpartumtogether.com/   🎧 57. Sex after baby: How to reconnect and increase intimacy with your partner with Chelsea Skaggs   ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Click HERE for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child’s dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment.     CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 59. Sex after baby part II: When we want to want it but we're just touched out   🎧 244. Understanding parental dysregulation: How to identify and manage your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton   🎧 148. Unlocking the power of polyvagal theory: Using the nervous system to wire our children for resilience, with Seth Porges   🎧 115. Q&A: Can you get stuck in a state of fight-or-flight?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...     What you can do if you’re wondering: “Is my kid’s ADHD diagnosis real or do I have an active 10-year-old kid?” How to evaluate the accuracy of a diagnosis and what steps to take if you’re unsure or want a second opinion. Practical tools you can use to support your child—diagnosis or not. Strategies for becoming more aligned with your partner on how to handle parenting challenges and support your child's needs. What is a behavioral observation tracker, and how it can help you decide which interventions would be most helpful to use. The surprising truth about warmth and respect and why erring more on the side of warmth might actually be the key to creating change. (Want to learn more about parenting styles? Check out our episode on the benefits of authoritative parenting.) The parenting patterns we can become entrenched in, and a path forward to getting more on the same page.     REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:   👉🏻 At Upshur Bren Psychology Group, we offer a range of services including parenting coaching, neuropsychological evaluations, and ADHD-focused support groups for both kids and parents. Whether you're looking to better understand your child’s diagnosis, explore tools and strategies that actually work, or get on the same page with your co-parent, we’re here to help. Go to upshurbren.com or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to learn more about the available resources for your unique needs.   👉🏻 Click HERE to download my free guide on effectively disciplining your child with strategies that don't utilize shame or guilt - but still work to get your child to behave!     ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about neuropsych evaluations with Dr. Yael Rothman & Dr. Katia Fredriksen   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child with ADHD utilize school support systems without feeling embarrassed   🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about connecting and supporting your neurodiverse child with Dr. Norrine Russell     WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:   Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!