Finding You: with Dr. Brad Reedy

Dr. Reedy explores what it truly means to love another person as they are — to "love Other as Other." He reflects on how genuine understanding of others begins with a willingness to look honestly at ourselves. Examining traits associated with the Autism Spectrum, he reveals how many of us share more of these qualities than we might expect. Dr. Reedy then invites listeners to "pan out" — drawing on personal and cultural history — to suspend judgment and encounter others, and themselves, with fresh eyes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This Ask Me Anything episode, usually reserved for the Inner-Circle subscribers, is open the public as a sneak peak of what you will get by subscribing to the Inner Circle audience. Dr. Reedy takes questions from the Inner Circle and from the live audience on questions about developing a daily practice to stay conscious and aware of our issues. He talks about how the grief of losing connections with people we are close to as we grow and progress is a necessary part of the heroic journey, of the process of individuation. He explains that the peace we seek is found when we learn to love and accept ourselves (our “horrible, rotten self”) just as we are. He explains that this acceptance of who we are is , paradoxically, the catalyst for growth and change. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy explains how not knowing is perhaps the end result of our education. He talks about how humility is confidence and how grandiosity is a cover for strong feelings of inferiority and insecurity. Brad shares that dealing with ambiguity is our chief task and that our mental health will largely hinge on our ability to sit with the uncertainty of life. He explains that our need to reduce the world to simple binaries – good and bad, right and wrong, us and them – is rooted in feelings of trauma and overwhelm.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy explores grief and the loss we experience beyond the death of someone we love. He talks about how much of therapy is grief work: losing old ideas, old friends, parts of ourselves. He explains that growth requires us to accept the temporal nature of things. He explains that most of our learning is really un-learning. He explains that how much of our loss is grieving versions of ourselves as we take steps closer to the authentic self. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy goes through the 12-steps and explains the psychological principles behind them. He focuses on surrender, guilt and chain, and the power of being accepted by the group. He explains that our defenses, which we put in place to protect us, hurt us, and the people that we love. He explains that much of what we are medicating with our addictions is related to guilt and chain. And he explains that we have accepted the wrong answers to lies most important questions, and that the key to our growth is a transformation of consciousness, reconsidering the things that we have been taught. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy talks about how the defenses we create to protect ourselves hurt the people closest to us. He explains that it is the defense, not the simple mistake, that causes the trauma. He talks about how intentions are neither good nor bad. He explains that as our consciousness increases, we will have more capacity to hold the emotions and pain of those we love, and this is how we bring greater healing to the lives of those we love. He explains why skills can only serve our level of consciousness and unless that changes, we will weaponize our skills in the services of self-protection. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy sits down Co-Founder Liz Reitman of Other Parents Like Me. Liz shares her story and how OPLM serves parents navigating challenges that stem from a child struggling with mental health and addiction. Liz shares her own journey and how connecting with other parents filled a need that other resources didn't. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy welcomes Jackie Woodside, a USA TODAY and five-time international Amazon bestselling author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, and professional coach. Jackie Woodside is a USA TODAY and five-time international Amazon bestselling author, TEDx speaker, international trainer, and professional coach. A former therapist turned coach, she is the founder of the Conscious Living Summit and the Conscious Living Podcast. Jackie has spent decades studying and working with the leading edges of the human potential movement. We discuss her new book, Money Vibe and how elevating your consciousness is the single most effective way to bring about the changes in your financial life and in the success you desire.   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy explains that seeking to change behavior, reduce symptoms, or get rid of old defense may not be the best route to take early in our process. He explains that we must first listen to the messages these behaviors have for us and accept ourselves so that we may transform at a deeper level. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy discusses how rituals and ceremonies can facilitate awareness and presence with ourselves and others. He talks about goal setting and what greater principles can guide our lives. He describes the value of interpreting the meaning behind the metaphors in our lives.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy explores the role of the step-parent. He explains that their outside perspective is both a strength and a weakness: a strength because it offers clarity and a weakness because it can lean towards judgment. He encourages step-parents to attune to the child and respond with what is needed rather than applying a generic template. He explores and reframes the archetype and metaphor of the “wicked step mother.” Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Dr. Reedy explains the definition and root causes of codependency. He explains that the core could be understood as the difference between being good and being Self. He explains the relationship between attachment and codependency and how they relate to addiction.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Dr. Reedy explains how our attachment must evolve along with our child’s development. He explains that the first tasks in attachment are belonging, safety, and stability. But once a child enters adolescence, the stage of life where one must develop their own identity and sense of self, the parents’ attachment task is more about letting go and separation. He explains that parents must change many of their fundamental ideals and assumptions about parenting for the child to grow in the ways that they need to grow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Dr. Reedy shares his thoughts on self-care versus self-improvement, the trap of self-righteousness, and how our self-awareness is only as good as our self-compassion. He explains why humans seek to please other humans and what is meant by a “transformation of consciousness.” Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Dr. Reedy talks about the roles we take on in families. He explains how the s scapegoat or identified patient serve to take on the shame and undone work of the family. Often their symptoms are messengers of the work previous generations have avoided up to this point. They often bring the entire family into therapy and are regarded as sort of a “hero.” This is because once the family system enters therapy, then the real issues, or the root of the issues, can be addressed. Ultimately, the responsibility for each person is to take back their own shadow, their own projections, and assume responsibility for the happiness and serenity of their own life. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy explains how boundaries are synonymous with self-care. He explains that boundaries set from a codependent context are meant to change others while boundaries set from a secure sense of self are set to take care of one’s self. He explains how consequences, under the umbrella of boundaries, are an attempt to change behaviors in others. And finally, if we set boundaries to change others we are implicitly suggesting that serenity is found outside of us. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy discusses whether going home for the holidays is the best thing for us. He discusses the guilt, shame and obligation that’s “baked-in” to us when it comes to visiting family or maintaining relationships we have outgrown. He doesn’t offer advice but rather takes the audience through the questions and the thinking that goes into our relationships. He explains that a task in attachment is to let go of others when they need to be somewhere else and how many people feel compelled to spend time with family and others because of unconscious obligations. The nature of the parent-child dynamic is discussed and how it can be turned upside-down when children feel the need to take care of parents’ emotional well-being and egos. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy discusses how therapists (specifically analytical and attachment-based therapists) may think about religion. He explores the function of religion as a way to relate to life and to the world. He talks about how disconnection from God is synonymous with disconnection from ourselves. He talks about our relationship with fear and how if we avoid the feelings of uncertainty and the pain that comes from living, and trade those in for certainty and control, we are guilty of spiritual bypass. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy explains that the goal in therapy is reducing shame, creating safety, and lessening resistance. Therapy is a different way of being with someone, so they feel safe enough to lower their defenses. He suggests that we can learn from therapy and apply principles of dealing with resistance to all our relationships and to ourselves. He discusses how common resistance is in our work. He talks about how to engage others so as not to provoke resistance and how our own resistance, rooted in shame, is the bulk of what therapy treats. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr. Reedy discusses the difference between therapy and a podcast. He explains that ultimately, we must face what is presenting itself to us in our lives. We must go in and through the pain and difficulty to discover news resources that lie within all of us. He talks about how we avoid parts of ourselves and repress feelings, characteristics, or traits in order to fit in and how the problems that bring us to therapy are a call to the hero’s adventure.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.