Appamada

Annunciation ~Marie Howe Even if I don’t see it again - nor ever feel it I know it is and that if once it hailed me it ever does - And so it is myself I want to turn in that direction not as towards a place, but it was a tilting within myself, as one turns a mirror to flash the light where it isn’t - I was blinded like that - and swam in what shone at me only able to endure it by being no one and so specifically myself I thought I’d die from being loved like that. Gabriel’s Annunciation ~ Jan Richardson For a moment I hesitated on the threshold. For the space of a breath I paused, unwilling to disturb her last ordinary moment, knowing that the next step would cleave her life: that this day would slice her story in two, dividing all the days before from all the ones to come. The artists would later depict the scene: Mary dazzled by the archangel, her head bowed in humble assent, awed by the messenger who condescended to leave paradise to bestow such an honor upon a woman, and mortal. Yet I tell you it was I who was dazzled, I who found myself agape when I came upon her— reading, at the loom, in the kitchen, I cannot now recall; only that the woman before me— blessed and full of grace long before I called her so— shimmered with how completely she inhabited herself, inhabited the space around her, inhabited the moment that hung between us. I wanted to save her from what I had been sent to say. Yet when the time came, when I had stammered the invitation (history would not record the sweat on my brow, the pounding of my heart; would not note that I said Do not be afraid to myself as much as to her) it was she who saved me— her first deliverance— her Let it be not just declaration to the Divine but a word of solace, of soothing, of benediction for the angel in the doorway who would hesitate one last time— just for the space of a breath torn from his chest— before wrenching himself away from her radiant consent, her beautiful and awful yes.

2025-12-15 | Depth In Practice | Not Two: The Appamada Story by Appamada

2025.12.14 | Dharma Talk | Forgiveness | Nate Smalley by Appamada

link to poem : https://www.poetryverse.com/emily-dickinson-poems/you-cannot-put-a-fire-out

2025-12-08 | Depth In Practice | Not Two: The Appamada Story by Appamada

2025.12.07 | Rohatsu Ceremony | Nishijima Roshi on the Buddha’s Enlightenment | Nate Smalley by Appamada

2025-12-02 I Inquiry I Go to the Limits of your Longing I Trudy Johnston by Appamada

2025-12-01 | Depth In Practice| Not Two: The Appamada Story by Appamada

2025-11-30 | Dharma Talk | Shuzen is Not Zazen | Ellen Hippard by Appamada

2025-11-24 | Depth In Practice | Not Two: The Appamada Story by Appamada

2025-11-25 I Inquiry I Bodhichitta Blessings I Suzanne Kilkus by Appamada

2025-11-23 | Dharma Talk | Black Holes, Basic Goodness, and the Perfection of Wisdom | Jon-Eric Steinbomer by Appamada

2025-11-18 I Inquiry I It is our shared pain that is the cord of our belonging I Trudy Johnston by Appamada

2025-11-16 | Dharma Transmission Talk | Nathan Hōshin Kōnen Smalley by Appamada

2025-11-04 I Inquiry I Meeting what is needed I Joel Barna by Appamada

2025-11-03 | Depth In Practice | Not Two: The Appamada Story | Peg Syverson by Appamada

2025-11-02 | Dharma Talk | Living in a Polarized World: Cultivation of the Delusion of Separation | Rosemarie Gardella Gates by Appamada

2025-10-27 | Depth In Practice | Not Two: The Appamada Story | Peg Syverson by Appamada

2025-10-28 I Inquiry I Zazen and Precepts I Flint Sparks by Appamada

Mercy has no hands, yet carries the whole mountain down to the quiet. All are welcome to the river’s edge. Spelling note: Jessica cites from several sources, including by Cynthia Bourgeault.