Dying Kindness

A brief overview of the range of issues faced by LGBTQ seniors towards the end of life.

Do you have art that means a lot to you? Will others know why they mattered to you or what they're worth? Here are some quick tips to help other treasure your treasures.

I haven't posted a new episode for a couple of months. I've been grieving the death of my friend, Jen Angel.   Some good articles about Jen: Food, Love, and Revolution: Jen Angel's Legacy by Carwil Bjork-James, Yes! Magazine Jen Angel Wanted to Abolish Police and Prisons. She Wouldn’t Want Her Death to Be Used to Incarcerate Anyone. by Brook Anderson, In These Times   and Jen's entry in Wikipedia

I want to do what I can to age well, including preventing getting dementia. I'm learning (and sharing) a range of steps to protect my brain. One of the big ones is deciding to reduce my alcohol intake, going alcohol free.   Interviews with Joshua James & Danny Meeks, Ocean Beach Cafe   Referenced: Keep Sharp: Build a Better Brain at Any Age by Sanjay Gupta Huberman Lab podcast episode, "What Alcohol Does to Your Body, Brain, and Health" "Alcohol and Dementia — What's the Link? a Systematic Review"    

What you can expect for Dying Kindness in 2023, including ways that the decisions we make decades before retirement impact our ability to age well, and affect others in our immediate circle, beyond those we know, and for generations to come. 

Most people want to die at home, but the ability to stay home depends heavily on how well it's set up to age in place. This holiday season, take advantage of being home to look around and take notes on what might make it hard to age well at home.

Do you have a signature dish? Have you written down the recipe? Why you should record how to make foods associated with you so others can make it when you're gone.   Buy "Like Water for Chocolate" by Laura Esquivel at Bookshop.org (affiliate link) DyingKindness.com  

Maybe you've told people what you want done with your body when you die. Have you also written down exactly what you want for your funeral? And have you paid for it?  Dean Lambert from the Love Always Project knows firsthand how easy it can be to miss important details when planning a funeral. He shares his 30 years of experience as well as personal stories to encourage everyone to arrange and fund their own funerals in advance.   In this episode: https://www.lovealwaysproject.org/ https://www.dyingkindness.com/ https://www.dyingkindness.com/support/  

Samhain. Halloween. All Saints Day. All Souls Day. Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead). All of these holidays are about the connection between the living and the dead. And they all present the dead in different ways. Taking a look at these differences can be a fun way to think about where we get our concepts about death and how our loved ones might relate to us after we die.

What is a revocable living trust and who needs one? What's the difference between a will and a trust? If you have a will, do you need a trust?    Mentioned: Natural Organic Reduction in California: https://recompose.life/2022/california/ https://www.dyingkindness.com/ Dying Kindness bookstore: https://bookshop.org/lists/dying-kindness  

A discussion with Edward Bixby of the Green Burial Council on eco-friendly burial options – and the consumer's role in helping expand what's available.   Mentioned in this episode: https://www.dyingkindness.com/ https://www.greenburialcouncil.org/ GBC map of certified providers: https://www.greenburialcouncil.org/interactive-maps.html https://destinationdestinymemorials.com/ https://www.steelmantowncemetery.com/ "Climate Change: The massive CO2 emitter you may not know about" by Lucy Rodgers for BBC "Lawn Maintenance and Climate Change" paper by Princeton Student Climate Initiative "This heatwave is a reminder that grass lawns are terrible for the environment" article by Akin Olla for The Guardian  

In addition to choosing an emergency contact, you should prepare contact lists for who they should call if you ended up in a crisis or need longer-term support. In this episode, Cianna goes over what kinds of contact lists you should prepare for different situations.

We all know we should write a will, but how do you get started? Here are some tips on what to prepare that will make it easier and will save you time and money when you sit down to write your own will. Referenced: DyingKindness.com Episode 4: The Value of Physical Stuff Book: The Poetry of Impermanence, Mindfulness, and Joy (affiliate link)  

People are living longer and longer. While generally that's a good thing, it also means that more of us are going to need long-term care – and that can get expensive. What is long-term care? What options are there? And how can we plan for it?  In this episode, Cianna talks with leading LTC expert Matt McCann. McCann is recognized as one of the nation's leading long-term health care specialists, and is the publisher of LTC News.   Mentioned in this episode: Consumer focused news & resources: LTCnews.com  McCann Insurance Services: RadioLTC.com Information from U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services: LongTermCare.gov American Association for Long-Term Care Insurance: AALTCI.org Medical bills are leading cause of bankruptcy U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services report shows “70% of adults who survive to age 65 develop severe LTSS needs before they die and 48% receive some paid care over their lifetime”  About Larry Lujack

If you were to become incapacitated or die suddenly, what would your people need to know?  This is a replay of Episode 1, updated to include an announcement for BinderDash, a workshop + co-working session to help you get the Essentials of your Death Binder done: https://binderdash-august2022.rsvpify.com  

The decisions made by the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) during this past session raised some concerns about how certain classes of people and situations will be different treated from state to state. Cianna shares some initial thoughts about steps to take related to advance directives and other concerns around death and dying moving forward.

What's the point of obituaries? Why are some people so into reading them? Should you draft your own obituary as a Dying Kindness? Today we talk with Michael Osborne from the podcast Famous & Gravy, a podcast about what really matters in life, and what's gravy... one dead celebrity at a time.   Referenced: Famous & Gravy Generation Anthropocene New York Times Obituaries Obituary for Shirley Temple Black Famous & Gravy episode on Shirley Temple Black

For most of us, there will come a point when we'll need to have someone else help manage our finances. Two common approaches are to set up a joint bank account, or use a Power of Attorney for Finances. Which is better? How do you decide which to use?

A funeral can get expensive. In this episode, I break down the elements of a traditional burial funeral in the United Stages, and the median costs.

After a lifetime of independence, it can be tough to age or get ill and start to need help. So many of us fear becoming a burden so we resist asking for help. But at what point will our independence become a problem? What's the difference between asking for help and being a burden?