Simon Mayo's Confessions

Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo, Sister Holly, Sister Suzi and Brother Matthew for Episode 7 of Season 8… and yes, the numbering is definitely, probably, completely accurate.Thomas confesses to an 80s campaign of fake-spider terror against his devout granny. Doris’s mum admits to tackling the messiest teenage bedroom on earth. Plus: a 1973 sponsored walk sabotaged with reversed arrows, and a Scottish council depot prank that has grown men shouting “PAPER TOWELS NOW!” at a metal box.Got a confession? [email protected]

It’s a distinctly international trip into the confessional this week with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective.Craig kicks things off from behind the pharmacy counter in 1989, when an eager attempt to help a customer find “green ones” turns into a mortifying party‑poppers misunderstanding… Then ex‑RAF Police Corporal Binky Blythe teaches an Italian driver a “romantic” phrase that ends up being delivered to the Admiral’s wife.Plus: Nev’s compost‑heap ashes swap, and William’s French chemist translation help that accidentally escalates into Bon Saint‑Bernard deep‑heat justice.Got a confession? [email protected]

Episode five of Season Eight drops Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective back into the confessional for more chaos, dodgy logic, and the kind of stories that definitely shouldn’t be told… but are.Joe buys his daughter a life-size skeleton, commits fully by building it a coffin (complete with nameplate: “Mr Bone, RIP”), then watches it reappear in the worst possible place after a house fire — terrifying an insurance loss adjuster and some very shocked onlookers.Plus: Nigel’s 1979 school trip to Amsterdam that ends with the Dutch police being called, Dave’s “perfect peach” decorating job, and Gretchen’s free-range 1960s Yorkshire childhood gang — complete with singed eyebrows.Got a confession? [email protected]

Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective for another fresh batch of chaos, questionable life choices, and very loud studio drinks.Karen takes us back to late-70s school rule rebellion with a changing-room ear‑piercing “side hustle” run by Penny the Piercer… using mum’s sewing pins as the “earrings”.Then Steve relives a painfully awkward trip to Boots in Newquay, where asking for “party poppers” becomes a full-blown Small, Medium or Large misunderstanding.Plus: Joanne’s revenge corned beef hash with a feline twist, and Marina’s spectacular swimming pool disaster involving a glass-topped table, a smashed poolside, and a very quick exit.Got a confession? [email protected]

Episode three of Season Eight sees Simon Mayo and the Confessions Collective back in the studio for more chaos, coat chat, and questionable decision-making. First: a “guilty and apologetic teacher” (aka Mr Schneebly) reveals how one forgotten gold-plated anniversary pen — and a suit-jacket mix-up mid-interview — may have cost another candidate their dream job… and accidentally won him his. Then Paula takes us to early-90s LA with the “naughty nannies” and a drunken trouser swap that leaves one poor bloke stranded in a loo, later raging for his “pants”. Plus: Sid’s rubber cobra prank on Nan, and James’ local radio “hero” surprise that goes catastrophically wrong in the rain. Got a confession? [email protected]