Hold Up

In 2011, Bennett Miller somehow made us care about baseball when he turned a book about the Oakland A’s and a couple of sabermetricians into a feature-length drama featuring Brad Pitt, his bff Jonah Hill, and the great Philip Seymour Hoffman. Sabermetricians? You’re goddamn right! I vocabulary like a mug. This flick struggled in production but Aaron Sorkin and Steven Zaillian both brought on as pinch hitters to finish what would become a film adorned in accolades and box office earnings. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate what losing sounds like and how much money a legacy is worth as we see if this one stole home or hit a grand slam.

In 2014, a puppy was kicked to death, and a tale of vengeance and healing followed with Chad Stahelski’s action banger, John Wick. Starring Keanu Reeves as the iconic title character who finds therapy in murder as he grieves his way through an organized crime family responsible for killing that puppy I mentioned earlier. This comic-inspired flick spurred too many sequels and spinoffs and made a metric ass-load of cash in the process. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent check in at The Continental to debate underworld commerce and see if John Wick is back or shoulda stayed retired.

In 2003 Tim Burton found himself hung up in tall tales with his fantastical family drama, Big Fish. This flick netted some huge talent with Ewan McGregor, Albert Finney, Billy Crudup, Jessica Lange and many other notable names and faces as we brave the waters of this father and son’s tumultuous relationship told over the backdrop of an old man’s often confused musings.  Big Fish was nominated for a pile of awards that got away but did well critically. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate absentee fathers and disappointing sons as we decide if this Big Fish is the catch-of-the-day or if it’s gone bad.  

Len Wiseman’s debut in 2003 was no cause for celebration, but it could be said that Underworld, the film he popped his cherry on, was. Featuring Kate Beckinsale as Selene, the vampire enchantress who hunts werewolves and was responsible for the most sexual awakenings since Princess Leia went commando. This flick is basically Romeo and Juliet with sexy vampires and werewolves done with the late ‘90s glossy dark esthetic and broodiness. Oh, also, it spawned four sequels, a series, and a metric ass-load of cash while cementing neoprene bodysuits as my new fetish. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate werewolf lipstick and mixed-race relationships as we do our best to decide if the Underworld underwhelmed, or lives immortal.

It was the year 1999, and people were terrified of computers ending their life because they couldn’t handle change. But John McTiernan was cool as a cucumber working on what some people call The Thomas Crown Affair, his art heist remake/retake on the ‘60s flick of the same name. Pierce Brosnan faces off against Rene Russo and Denis Leary as he steals hearts and arts for the love of the game. This flick made over double its money back and was generally well-received. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate good art and bad taste as we decide if this flick stole our hearts or our time. 

In 1997, we saw a dark comedy thriller-type flick called Suicide Kings. Peter O'Fallon directed this cast of B and C-level actors for their ill-fated plan to kidnap a mobster in hopes he can fund or find their kidnapped friend. This flick did not do well, making less than a couple million in the $5 million budget and struggled for positive reviews. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate proper kidnapping etiquette and why you should always bring a catheter as we find out if this flick was the real deal or just a call for help. 

1993 brought us Stephen Hopkins’ action flick, Judgement Night. This flick tells the story of a group of friends who take a wrong turn into a bad area of Chicago where they witness a murder and become hunted by Denis Leary and his gang as they attempt to clean up any witnesses. This flick is another sentimental one for a couple of us, so even though this was not critically lauded and it didn’t make any money, we remember this movie fondly. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent discuss the sweet release of divorce and college graduates as we make our final ruling on Judgement Night.

In 2011 we were elevated watching Your Highness, David Gordon Green’s stoner fantasy flick starring and co-written by Danny McBride. This flick has us following a spoiled prince with a big heart and a substance abuse problem as he embarks on his first quest filled with danger and reluctant hand-jobs. This flick did not do well critically or financially, but the cast is good, and we remembered it fondly, so we decided to see if it could still crack us up. So, twist one up as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate playful secrets and the cost of a good lead as we try to decide if this flick burned one up or burned us out.

We are celebrating Christmas with Ted Demme’s 1994 dark comedy, The Ref, starring Denis Leary, Kevin Spacey, Judy Davis, and Glynis Johns. The Ref tells the story of a burglar who ends up taking a family hostage as a way of eluding capture as the cops scour the area for him; however, he gets more than he bargained for when the family turns out to be wildly dysfunctional. This movie had a fantastic cast, director, and writer and was well reviewed critically. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate unconventional therapy and gagging grandmas as we make the call on The Ref.

1974 brought the controversy and the funny with Mel Brook’s Blazing Saddles. This flick undertook the mission of taking on racism and westerns through the story of a black, half-Dutch, sheriff appointed to a small town of morons to reduce it’s worth so a dirty politician can buy it up and gentrify it. Blazing Saddles features the sparkling chemistry of Cleavon Little and Gene Wilder, alongside a large cast of familiar faces from the old silver screen, in a satirical flick that made $120 million and was nominated for 3 Oscars. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate what’s twue, and where the white women are at, as we whip out this verdict.

Welcome to Spaceballs, the writeup. As you have likely noticed, this week we are bringing you another silly flick and the first of two Mel Brooks movies that we’ll be doing this December. This one stars Bill Pullman, John Candy, Mel Brooks, and Rick Moranis in a spoof of Star Wars that became an all-time classic and one of the most quotable movies ever on top of making a decent amount of dough. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate who’s schwartz is bigger as we try to figure out if if we still have a taste for Spaceballs. 

In 2004 we got royally baked with Danny Leiner’s 2004 stoner comedy, Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle. This silly flick stars John Cho and Kal Penn as the title duo who find themselves on an epic quest for the perfect high meal which leads to hijinx, a pile of great cameos, and a couple of sequels. Harold & Kumar brought in $23 million from the $9 million budget, made a couple of careers and brought one back. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate the rules of battleshit and Katie Holmes' boobies as we try to see if this joint is lit, or half-baked.

In 1980, we were flying high with the directorial debut of the trio known as ZAZ when their careers took off with the hit Airplane!. This silly slapstick flick stars Robert Hays and Julie Hagerty alongside the comedic debut of Leslie Nielson as we watch a relationship explode amidst bad fish and faulty autopilots. This movie made a silly amount of money, turning its $3.5 million budget into a $175 million payday and has been the most quoted movie since 1980, source missing. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent discuss unloading in the white zone and the first time we saw a grown man naked as we try to see why this flick took off and if it landed safely or crashed and burned.

This glorious Sunday the gang got down with alliteration and gossip when we watched What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, Lasse Hallström’s ’93 family drama. Starring Johnny Depp, Juliette Lewis, and Leonardo DiCaprio in a role that secured him his first Oscar loss and a ton of confused first interactions afterwards. This flick brought in a whopping $1 million at the box office but still resonates in the cinema sphere due to the sincerity of the performances and the dramatic setting. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate ladder safety and building codes as we do the heavy lifting and find out if this film is still fire, or too heavy to move. 

Back in 2008 we learned the value of family when Adam McKay introduced us to his Step Brothers, starring Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly.  This flick brings us the trials of two adult men trapped in mental adolescence who are forced to take care of themselves when their newlywed parents have enough of their antics after the two crash a boat load of hoes. Step Brothers brought in a good payday and became a cult classic despite the critics overall distaste for the film. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent discuss nutty drums and the goddamn Catalina wine mixer as we do our best to see if we just became best friends with Step Brothers. 

Today, we are sneaking in with a Steven Soderbergh flick that did not have a theatrical release but rather premiered on TV. The film? Behind the Candelabra starring Michael Douglas and Matt Damon as Liberace and the jaded lover who wrote the book from which the movie was based. Speaking of based, HBO was the only company based enough to make a movie deemed “too gay” by the smooth brains at various studios. The result was two great actors getting what might be the best roles of their lives. But, does this hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate diamond-studded assholes and cheeky fuckboys as we do our best to decide if this flick still catches our eye or if we’d prefer something a little younger and prettier.

It’s that groovy time of year when the dead come back to life as we watch Evil Dead rise from the grave for Fede Álvarez’s 2013 remake of Sam Raimi’s cult classic. This flick brought a complete reimagining of the original with a number of nods to the flick that started as a proof of concept from two friends and refused to die, bringing us 5 films so far and a spin-off TV series starring the original Ash himself. This flick made its original proud by bringing in about 5x the budget at the box office and revitalizing the series. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent walk through the eye of the needle and get stuck in the woods, but never the weeds, as see if this blood-fest was fun-filled gore, or undead snore. 

Welcome to The Cell, Tarsem Singh's beautiful and haunting vision brought to the big screen in this awe-inspiring SciFi-horror. Starring Jenny from the block and a couple of Vinces we are brought into the mind of a twisted serial killer in a desperate attempt to find and free his final victim from certain death. This film performed very well at the box office but was split in the critical realm where some found it to wander while others saw a careful balance between the various plots, characters, and locations. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate techno handkerchiefs and kink-shaming as we dive deep into each other's brain holes in an attempt to find if The Cell is surrealist hell, or surreally swell.  

In 2007, David Fincher brought us his aptly named gritty true-crime thriller based on the Zodiac killer, Zodiac. Fincher is joined by Jake Gyllenhall, Mark Ruffalo and Robert Downey Jr., alongside several other familiar faces for this murderous journey down memory lane as we watch the case unfold from various perspectives. Zodiac was nominated for multiple awards and was well-reviewed overall (the movie, not the killer), but bad timing meant it just couldn’t perform at the box office competing against such a blockbuster comedy as Wild Hogs?…seriously, what’s the matter with you people? Anywho, does this Fincher classic hold-up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate bad marriages and cartoon detectives as we try to decide if Zodiac is guilty of killing people or our time.

In 2014 John Erick Dowdle directed a little horror flick he and his brother wrote called As Above, So Below. Taken from some ancient religious and alchemical source material, this flick takes us on a ride through the Paris catacombs in search of The Philosopher Stone, pre-Hogwarts era, and finds us trapped in the depths of hell with cool cults and bloody fingers. This flick has a few recognizable yet lesser-known faces but managed to make $40 Mil on a budget of $5 Million and pee in the pants of many. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate topless worship and taking directions from ghosts as we figure out if this was redemption or condemnation.