What's Your Twenty

In the final installment of our six-part series on blast exposure and brain injuries, I continue my powerful conversation with JTF2 breacher, Master Corporal Justin MacPherson. This episode dives into raw truths, hard lessons, and the urgent need for change. We explore the efforts of Veterans-turned-Toronto Police Officers Aaron Dale and Jeremy Burns, and the Military Veteran Wellness Program - a critical initiative helping get homeless veterans off the streets. Justin and I discuss the deep disconnect between action and bureaucracy - the harsh reality that within the system, “facta non verba” (deeds, not words) has been flipped. In a culture of risk aversion, taking bold steps isn’t rewarded - silence and inaction often are. We ask tough questions: Would people still line the border to protect this country? What does retention and recruitment say about how Canada treats its servicepeople? Is this the Canada we thought we served? We talk about the burden of truth - how it shouldn’t fall solely on the injured. Professional soldiers with psychological wounds need support navigating a system that often assumes resilience means silence. We confront the reality that high-risk units - especially those dealing with explosives - are indeed suffering the effects of brain injuries, and the system must catch up to the science. We touch on the need to invest not just in policies, but in places and people - making every space a Veteran enters feel safe, welcoming, and worthy of their service. You’ll also hear about Warrior Adventures Canada - what it is, why it was started, and how it’s helping Veterans rediscover meaning and challenge in civilian life. Stick around for the Fast and Furious - as we discuss filling the void after service, finding a new arena, and the importance of never stopping. As Justin says: "Don't stop striving for greatness." Don’t live life scripted. You’ve got one life - how are you going to live what’s left of it?

Continuing the 6 part series on Blast Exposure and Brain Injuries, this episode is dedicated to Master Corporal Pete Duff - a soldier, husband, father, and friend whose memory remains woven into the lives of those who knew and cared for him. Through this series, we’ve heard from those who honour his legacy, and today, we continue that promise - to keep speaking his name, supporting those who struggle, and ensuring no one feels alone. In this fifth installment, we sit down with Master Corporal Justin MacPherson, who reflects on his time entering the armed forces as a young man - never thinking about injury, only about serving his country and standing with his brothers. In Afghanistan, the war was real where they did good things, but now, as a father of young children, his priorities have changed. We dive deep into the long-term effects of blast exposure and overpressure, exploring what it takes to meet Veterans Affairs Canada’s (VAC) compensation criteria, the need of common sense and assumption of brain injury in Special Operations Forces, and the stigma surrounding reporting injuries - where soldiers often hide their wounds to avoid being sidelined. Why must Veterans make themselves look like victims just to be compensated for their service? They gave up their bodies, minds, and lives - and still, the battle continues. We discuss how losing consciousness is a requirement for VAC’s brain injury recognition, but why that doesn’t capture the full picture, and the symptomology of blast trauma. Justin shares his own regimen for managing flares, including therapy, mindset shifts, testosterone and growth hormone therapy. We also tackle the harsh reality of VAC’s Transition Centre in Canada’s capital - described as a horror movie - an abandoned hospital being the painful reflection of how Veterans are valued. This episode isn’t just about awareness - it’s about accountability, about demanding change, and about honouring those who have sacrificed everything.

Emily is the guest on Mind Beyond the Mission - the Atlas Institute of Veterans and Families podcast hosted by members of the lived experience team, Laryssa Lamrock and Brain McKenna. In this episode of Mind Beyond the Mission, Laryssa Lamrock is joined by guest co-host Andrew Gough — a Canadian Armed Forces (CAF) Veteran, serving Reservist and medically retired police officer — and guest Emily Zufelt. Emily is a former police dispatcher, advocate for first responders, military members and Veterans, and host and creator of "What's Your Twenty?", a podcast featuring stories from first responders, CAF members and Veterans, and other trauma-exposed professionals. Along with Laryssa, Emily and Andrew explore the parallels between the experiences and mental health journeys of first responders, military members and Veterans, and the unique nature of their work which puts them at high risk for exposure to trauma. Emily shares her personal journey of recovering from posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and depression, and how these experiences have shaped her advocacy work. They discuss the concept of posttraumatic growth and turning pain into purpose. They emphasize the need for supportive communities and structures to aid in recovery, highlighting the significant role of Family in the healing process. Key topics: - The links between the mental health and well-being journeys of Veterans and first responders - The power and challenge of overcoming stigma related to posttraumatic stress injuries (PTSIs) - Strategies for finding purpose and healing in creativity - The role of Family in recovering from PTSI - The importance of self-advocacy in mental health treatment - Navigating identity beyond professional roles in uniformed services Resources - V-eh! Veterans and Everyday Heroes: A not-for-profit organization providing wellness initiatives for Veterans and first responders, with the goal of reducing the stigma associated with mental health injuries:  https://v-eh.ca/ "What's Your Twenty?": Emily Zufelt’s podcast featuring stories from first responders, CAF members and Veterans, and other trauma-exposed professionals: https://www.whatsyourtwenty.com/ Boots on the Ground: Anonymous peer support by first responders, for first responders: https://www.bootsontheground.ca/ Public safety personnel and posttraumatic stress injuries: Find resources, fact sheets and videos about PTSIs designed specifically for public safety personnel: https://atlasveterans.ca/psp/ Your own brand of courage: A Mind Beyond the Mission episode featuring Andrew and Elizabeth Gough: https://atlasveterans.ca/community/podcast/episode-14-your-own-brand-of-courage-with-elizabeth-and-andrew-gough/ The Mind's the Matter - Understanding a Family member's operational stress injury: A free, module-based educational resource for Family members and friends of people living with operational stress injuries: https://cfmwsmfs.com/mtm-en/story_html5.html Wounded Warriors Canada: A national mental health service provider specializing in providing culturally informed services that utilize a combination of education, counselling, and training approaches to support resiliency and recovery from post-trauma injuries: https://woundedwarriors.ca/ Operation LOBE: Watch a video about the CAF operation to evacuate the Canadian Embassy in Tripoli, Libya during a near civil war and then to provide protection for it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u09JPu8ouNQ

In this powerful continuation of my conversation with Shane Nedohin, MCPL (ret'd), we dive deeper into the challenges faced by Veterans dealing with blast-induced brain injuries. Shane recounts his call with the former Minister of Veterans Affairs Canada, Ginette Petitpas Taylor, where he expressed his frustration over the government's lack of prioritization for Veterans' needs and wellbeing. During this conversation, ADM Steven Harris mentioned that VAC is considering moving toward a presumptive model for soldier and Veteran injuries. Shane passionately argues for diagnoses to consider injuries alongside symptomology and exposure to blast overpressure. He recalls receiving a claim denial letter stating the absence of medical research to support the facts that overpressure blasts cause brain injuries, despite allies like the Americans recognizing this connection. The Americans issued a memo from the Deputy Secretary of Defense titled "Department of Defense Requirements for Managing Brain Health Risks from Overpressure," which Shane and other Canadian veterans want VAC to adopt. Shane advocates for a complete overhaul of the VAC system, using the American model as a benchmark, to provide a national level of care for Veterans. This care would address not only traumatic brain injuries (TBIs) but all injuries specific to soldiers. He emphasizes the need for recognition of soldiers' injuries caused by service, starting with believing their experiences and holding VAC accountable for their care. We explore the overlapping symptoms of PTSD, TBI, and CTE, and how misdiagnoses can lead to improper treatment for veterans. Shane also discusses the importance of brain donation with Project Enlist Canada to fund research and enable the diagnosis of CTE in living individuals. In a deeply personal moment, Shane opens up about losing members of JTF2 to suicide, including his close friend and colleague, Pete Duff, who was his backup JTF2 breacher. We conclude by addressing the urgent need to take Veterans' mental health and suicides seriously, ensuring they receive the proper care and support they deserve before they become a statistic.

In this episode we return with Part III of our Blast Exposure & Brain Injuries series with Shane Nedohin, MCPL (ret'd), a former breacher for JTF2 in the Canadian Armed Forces. Shane provides a compelling front-row seat into the intense world of breaching operations and the physical and brain injuries that come with it. We delve into The Globe and Mail article that brought Shane's story to light, highlighting the challenges he faces with blast-induced brain injuries and the denial of medical support from Veterans Affairs Canada. Shane had a triple play that same day as he participation in the event, 'A SILENT THREAT: RECOGNIZING INVISIBLE INJURY' hosted by the CDA Institute, where he discussed the often-overlooked impact of brain injuries on veterans' mental health, and then joined in a press conference held on Parliament Hill where Shane and the team at Concussion Legacy Foundation Canada called for a reassessment of federal policies regarding blast-induced brain injuries. Shane's story caught the attention of the Minister of Veteran Affairs, which led to a dialogue about the support systems for veterans with invisible injuries. Join us for this powerful episode as we explore the unseen battles faced by veterans and the ongoing fight for recognition and support.

In the second part of our series on "Blast Exposure & Brain Injuries," we continue the compelling journey with retired Master Warrant Officer Brendan Hynes. As a veteran who served with distinction in CANSOFCOM JTF2, Brendan's story highlights the ongoing battles faced by those affected by blast-induced Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). This episode shines a spotlight on the incredible support provided by various Veteran organizations that stand by our heroes, often despite the lack of collaboration from Veterans Affairs Canada (VAC). We delve into the impactful work of the Concussion Legacy Foundation Canada and Project Enlist, showcasing their groundbreaking research and commitment to addressing brain injuries among veterans. Their efforts are making significant strides in improving the lives of those suffering from blast exposure, TBI, and concussions. Brendan shares his insights on the importance of physical activity for mental cognition, emphasizing how daily walks contribute to his well-being. Additionally, we celebrate his philanthropic endeavors through Your Daily Fix Coffee, particularly the Buddy Check blend. This initiative not only raises awareness but also supports mental wellness among veterans. We also highlight the "Sound of Remembrance" event held at the Canadian War Museum, organized by Veteran and musician Graham Trude, which serves as a poignant reminder of the sacrifices made by our armed forces. Join us for an enlightening discussion as Brendan continues his fight for Veterans' rights and well-being, bringing attention to the urgent need for Canada to recognize and act on the scientific evidence supporting the impact of blast exposure on brain health. This episode is a testament to the strength and resilience of our Veterans, and the essential support they deserve.

In the first part of our 6-part series on "What's Your Twenty?", we dive into the powerful and emotional story of MWO Brendan Hynes. Once a proud member of CANSOFCOM JTF2, Brendan dedicated his life to serving his country. Now a veteran living with Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) due to blast exposure, Brendan shares his journey of resilience and ongoing struggle for recognition, respect, and support. This episode sheds light on the harsh realities faced by many veterans: the devastating effects of institutional abandonment. Brendan opens up about the feeling of being left behind by the very institutions and Country that they would have given their lives for. He discusses the emotional and mental toll this has taken on him and others in similar situations, highlighting the urgent need for Canada to catch up with the medical and scientific advancements recognized by our allies. Join us as Brendan shares his raw personal experiences, the challenges he continues to face, and his relentless fight for the rights and wellness of Canadian Veterans. This episode is a stark reminder of the sacrifices made by our Armed Forces and the importance of ensuring they receive the support they deserve long after their service ends.

In this real and unfiltered episode of "What's Your Twenty?", we dive deep into the untold stories of first responders - the paramedics, firefighters, police officers, correctional officers, and dispatchers who face trauma daily to save lives. These women and men often suffer in silence, grappling with mental injuries, PTSD, and PTSI, while feeling immense pressure to appear strong and invincible. There is a harsh reality that their bravery and stoicism make it incredibly difficult for them to express vulnerability and admit they need help. The stigma around mental health in high-stress professions contributes to this silence, as does the fear of being judged or deemed unfit for duty. First responders may struggle with sleep disturbances, pervasive fear, and a desperate need for inclusion, yet they often isolate themselves, fearing rejection and the immense effort it takes to engage socially. They also face deep uncertainties about their ability to return to who they once were, compounded by self-doubt and the fear of external judgment. The episode highlights the guilt and shame first responders feel about their roles as parents, partners, and friends. They often internalize relationship issues and avoid addressing them head-on, fearing they will only make things worse. Perhaps most alarmingly, they may harbour thoughts of suicide, genuinely believing that their absence might make life easier for their loved ones. But the truth is, their presence is invaluable. Their absence would leave a devastating void in the lives of those who love them. Addressing mental health head-on is an act of incredible strength and courage. Join us as we advocate for a culture where first responders can speak up about their struggles and seek the support they need. Their mental health is just as crucial as their physical health, and it's time we all treated it that way. Your well-being matters, and we're here to help you find your path to healing.

In this episode, Emily delves into the transformative power of curiosity and hope through the personal journey of healing and growth. The focus is on the pivotal role of curiosity as a sign of recovery, inspired by the insightful words of a therapist, Roberta, who played a crucial role in Emily's healing process. She explores how becoming curious about her future and possibilities, signalled a shift towards wellness - reflecting on her journey, from questioning her capacity for happiness to aspiring to leave behind a life filled with struggles and suicidal thoughts. This episode emphasizes the importance of aligning external circumstances with internal awareness and viewing breakdowns as breakthroughs. Listeners are encouraged to move beyond comfort zones, embrace gradual transformation, and validate themselves from within. The episode highlights the inevitability of setbacks and the strength gained from outgrowing old lives and embracing the desire for more - more wellness, emotional management, and authenticity. Emily discusses the necessity of active participation in personal growth, starting with small, consistent actions that lead to significant breakthroughs over time. The episode also provides practical tips on starting small, utilizing available resources, and maintaining a vision of a healthier self. Ultimately, this episode is about choosing moments that matter, acknowledging the journey of trials and errors, and nurturing changes that prioritize well-being. It's a powerful reminder that healing and growth begin with the willingness to embrace change and take that first step.

In this episode, I am honored to welcome Ginette Petitpas Taylor, Canada’s Minister of Veterans Affairs and Associate Minister of National Defence. With a career that spans from social work to her current role, Minister Petitpas Taylor brings a deeply empathetic and dedicated perspective to her work. She reflects on her early career as a social worker and her time with the RCMP - experiences that shaped her approach to public service that led her to public office and advocacy for veterans. Our discussion delves into her appointment as Minister of Veterans Affairs and the profound sense of responsibility it carries. Minister Petitpas Taylor shares her experiences with cold calling World War II veterans, and offering a glimpse into the importance of those conversations. We also explore the various ways Canada commemorates its veterans, including the significance of the 80th anniversary of D-Day, and how these commemorations honour the bravery and sacrifices of our servicemen and women. The conversation shifts to the modern-day veteran and the evolving needs of those who have served. Minister Petitpas Taylor addresses the controversial "Purge" and its impact on veteran services, providing insight into the ongoing efforts to support veterans effectively. Additionally, she highlights the challenges faced by veterans dealing with brain injuries and the effects on their mental health, underscoring the necessity of comprehensive support and services. Join us for this discussion as Minister Ginette Petitpas Taylor sheds light on her commitment to improving veteran services and the meaningful work being done to ensure that those who have served our country receive the recognition and support they deserve.

In Part II, this heartfelt episode, Jodie Baulkham, author of Choosing My Tomorrow, delves into the profound challenges and triumphs she and her husband, RCMP Staff Sergeant, Brent Baulkham, face. Brent's struggle with PTSD takes centre stage, highlighting the impact of mental health on their lives. Amidst this, Jodie receives a life-altering diagnosis of breast cancer, leading to a double mastectomy. Despite these overwhelming adversities, Jodie shares her journey of resilience and determination. She emphasizes the importance of choosing "what's next" rather than dwelling on "why" these events occurred. Through her story, listeners will discover how Jodie finds joy and gratitude in everyday moments, even in the face of immense hardship. This episode is a testament to the power of choice and the human spirit's capacity to find light in the darkest times. Join us as Jodie Baulkham inspires us to navigate life's challenges with grace, strength, and unwavering hope.

In Part I, I sit down with Jodie Baulkham, the author of Choosing My Tomorrow: Surviving Murder, Navigating Mental Health, and Harnessing the Power of Choice. Jodie shares the harrowing story of the night her life changed forever. At just 29 years old, she was at home with her 8-month-old daughter when she received a knock at the door - her husband, RCMP officer Chris Worden, couldn't be found. In the early hours, it would be revealed that Chris had been murdered in the line of duty. Jodie opens up about the immediate aftermath of the tragedy, describing the balance of immense loss, grief and and sharing the death of her husband with Canada, all the while caring for her infant daughter on her own. Through her candid and heartfelt narrative, Jodie provides listeners with a raw and honest look at her journey from loss to resilience. She discusses how she found the strength to move forward, the support systems that helped her, and the importance of choosing hope and joy even in the darkest times. Join us as we explore Jodie's powerful story of loss, love, and the enduring human spirit. This episode is a testament to the strength and resilience that can emerge from unimaginable tragedy.

In this powerful part II episode with Mark Bouchard, the author of Setting My Sights on Stigma, we discuss mental health, stigma, and cultural growth in law enforcement organizations. Mark’s experience as a first responder informs our conversation about stigma within critical roles, the emotional toll, and the importance of mental health support for those on the front lines. Mark’s advocacy work emphasizes that speaking openly about mental health reaches more people and how collective conversations can shift societal attitudes. There is a lack of culture that encourages open dialogue around mental health. Mark highlights the need for safe spaces where people can share their struggles without fear of judgment, emphasizing the importance of those who break the silence as they cultivate a safe space. In a space of safety, a historical suicide attempt is revealed, allowing us to explore the impact of disclosure on personal healing and community understanding. Mark provides an educational take on suicide prevention, emphasizing awareness and early intervention. We explore passive suicide (such as neglecting self-care) and its impact, and how self-stigmatization can inadvertently spread to others.

In this thought-provoking Part 1 episode, I sit down with Mark Bouchard, a seasoned ERT/SWAT Medic with over 15 years of frontline experience in law enforcement. Mark shares his insights on tactical operations, critical medical support, and the challenges faced by first responders. Our conversation delves deeper into crucial aspects of mental health within the law enforcement community. Needing to create a safe space, Mark emphasizes the importance of fostering an atmosphere where officers feel comfortable discussing their struggles and experiences. We explore the need for personalized crisis plans for officers when they are the ones in crisis, and how strategies for building trust with officers who are off duty are essential. Mark addresses public perception as he sheds light on the vilification of police and the challenges officers face when charged with offenses. Educating the public about policing and use of force is crucial. Join us as we explore these critical topics and work toward a healthier, more supportive law enforcement community.

We don't need to wear a uniform to experience trauma. We're picking up with drive-by shooting survivor and founder of Hit The Ground Running, Brandon Peacock. Part II is the continuation of Brandon's recovery and mission to help other trauma survivors to not simply recover, but thrive. If you take intelligence, resilience, kindness, genuineness, authenticity, ambition, athleticism and survivorship - wrap them all up into a complete package - you'll have Brandon Peacock. Just being in the presence of someone of this calibre, I became a better person. At Such a young age, the deep conversations, vulnerability and impact that he is having on this world and the people in it not only shows that they are not alone, but he also exemplifies capacity, ability, and brings hope and the belief that recovery is possible for all of us.

Drive-by shooting survivor, Brandon Peacock is an incredible human whose resilience and determination have turned a personal tragedy into a beacon of hope for many. On a fateful summer evening in 2020, Brandon's life was forever altered when he became the unintended victim of a drive-by shooting. Shot three times, a bullet that hit his femoral artery could have ended his life, but instead, it marked the beginning of a new chapter. Brandon founded the charity Hit The Ground Running, an organization dedicated to supporting trauma survivors, helping them to reach their new 100%. The charity stands as a pillar of support, providing the tools and guidance necessary for trauma survivors to rebuild their lives and thrive. Brandon's story is one of triumph over adversity, and his charity is a reflection of his commitment to giving back and aiding others in their darkest hours. If the future is in the hands of people like him, I have hope. Through his actions, Brandon Peacock exemplifies the power of human spirit and the impact one person can have on the world.

Healing and mental health management does not have a one size fits all. In the ongoing quest to offer the most effective tools for managing mental health challenges, the conversation around medicinal marijuana consistently emerges. This podcast embarks on a journey to understand the therapeutic potential of cannabis, particularly in the context of those who have served in the military. While I'm not endorsing or advocating for the use of marijuana, I can't exclude it as it is imperative to remain open to treatment options and treat the subject with respect as it applies to the evolution of medical research and holistic healing. I invited this week's guests Corey Paris, Director of Veteran Relations, and Scott Atkinson, 25 year Canadian Armed Forces Vet and Veteran Ambassador, both of CannaConnect to shed light on the experience of veterans who advocate for medicinal marijuana as a catalyst for healing. This episode serves as an invitation to explore, educate, and engage in a dialogue about the possibilities that medicinal marijuana may hold for the mental and physical well-being of the men and women who serve our country.

Exploring the latest in brain health and trauma, Ryan Carey is a retired Captain of the Canadian Armed Forces and a passionate advocate for veterans' well-being. Not only did Ryan serve in the CAF, but he also played professional football in the Canadian Football League. Intimately knowing the connection between sport and military concussions and head injuries, he was thrown into the world of chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), a degenerative brain disease caused by repeated brain trauma. After retiring from the military, Ryan joined Project Enlist Canada, a research initiative that aims to accelerate critical research on traumatic brain injury (TBI), CTE, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in military veterans. Ryan has pledged to donate his brain to Project Enlist Canada, hoping to contribute to the advancement of science and the improvement of the lives of those affected by brain trauma. He also raises awareness and educates others about the signs, symptoms, and treatments of CTE and related disorders. In addition, Ryan is the founder of Operation Brain Health, a program (and soon-to-be app) that helps veterans develop healthier habits. The program provides tools and guidance for exercising regularly, eating well, sleeping better, as well as peer support and social integration. Operation Brain Health is part of Ryan's mission to help veterans feel better and cope with the challenges of brain injury and their symptoms. Special thanks to Brendan Hynes and his coffee company, Your Daily Fix, for sponsoring this episode. Brendan is a member of the Canadian Armed Forces as well as a proud Ambassador of Project Enlist.

Part I of II with The Silver Cop, Robin Ferrie of Ottawa Police Service and I discuss men not speaking up at the risk of being seen as weak, as well as the stigma and institutional betrayal when attempting to seek mental health supports. This episode was recorded on December 29th and is dedicated to Constable Ireneusz "Eric" Czapnik of OPS in honour of his service and sacrifice, as it was the 14th anniversary of his line-of-duty death and murder. We recall the day that Cst. Eric Czapnik lost his life and the roll that Robin took on.

Part II of II The Silver Cop Robin Ferrie of the Ottawa Police Service and I pick up on the day he found himself immersed in chaos at the National War Memorial on the day that Corporal Nathan Cirillo was gunned down standing sentry at The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. We discuss the infamous photo seen around the world and how Robin found his voice and moved forward in healing and advocacy for others through coaching and P3 Wellness. This episode being dropped on January 9th is dedicated to all lawn enforcement as today is National Law Enforcement Appreciation Day.