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© Malcolm Fleschner
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Malcolm Fleschner's award-winning (well, award-*won* anyway) humor column
malcolmfleschner.substack.com
malcolmfleschner.substack.com
19 Episodes
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Get full access to Culture Shlock at malcolmfleschner.substack.com/subscribe
Get full access to Culture Shlock at malcolmfleschner.substack.com/subscribe
Malcolm and Kurt share a shocking follow-up to last episode’s workplace sex club letter, as well as advice regarding letters from:A man whose girlfriend is not willing to part with her deceased ex-boyfriend’s memento boxA woman whose husband is the object of frequent flirting from their younger female coworker A daughter who reconnected with an abusive father on his deathbed — but then he survived!A man who wants to know if he can introduce his new girlfriend to his late wife’s vibratorPlus our new idea for an “astral” advice column, classic Dear Abby letters, and thoughts on love from ChatGPT. Get full access to Culture Shlock at malcolmfleschner.substack.com/subscribe
Malcolm and Kurt demonstrate (mostly) mild annoyance with each other while puzzling over the provenance of common phrases suggested by fans of the podcast for beating on someone and doing slipshod work. All that and discussing whether there’s anything more annoying than yelling out “Play Freebird!” to a band at a live music performance. Get full access to Culture Shlock at malcolmfleschner.substack.com/subscribe
In this episode Kurt and Malcolm offer our not-remotely expert takes on:- How a widow can tell her annoying former sister-in-law “Barbara” that their “relationship” is over- Legal options for a woman who wants her portion of the $240,000 left in deceased brother’s dresser drawer- What a manager should do after discovering a wide-ranging COMPETITIVE sex club operating right under her nose - A wealthy man concerned about continuing a relationship with his comparatively impoverished girlfriend Get full access to Culture Shlock at malcolmfleschner.substack.com/subscribe
Malcolm and Kurt trade barbs and witticisms while puzzling out the derivations of common English phrases while also celebrating the 30-year anniversary of an amazing word-related hoax perpetrated by a member of Generation X against the mighty New York Times. Get full access to Culture Shlock at malcolmfleschner.substack.com/subscribe
In this episode Kurt and Malcolm offer our expert takes on:How a woman in a committed relationship (and a small child) can talk her boyfriend into pursuing polyamoryThe best way for dealing with a Facebook friend who copycats to such an extent we fear she’s looking to commit murder and take her friend’s placeA writer with chronic pain who has to field critical comments from strangers over handicapped parking and unsympathetic friendsA woman whose long ago ex-boyfriend and current friend insists on describing her as his ex to his new lady friendsA writer who is just so damned good at helping others that she’s become the go-to source of advice for far too many friends Get full access to Culture Shlock at malcolmfleschner.substack.com/subscribe
Malcolm and Kurt trade witticisms while making their best guesses about the derivations for three synonyms of “doing it,” as well as a trio of (vaguely) feline-themed expressions. Get full access to Culture Shlock at malcolmfleschner.substack.com/subscribe
In this episode Malcolm and Kurt wrestle with a wide range of issues, including:How — and if — a dad should intervene with his son who appears to be developing a sexual attraction for PokemonWhat to do when you get fired after calling the police on your boss for stealing your carHow to extricate oneself from an ex-boyfriend’s mom who won’t stop calling and making uncomfortable demandsWhether there’s any way to introduce multiple polyamory partners to one’s extended family without awkwardnessHow to handle a boss who puts masking tape over the lips of employees who offer up “bad ideas” during staff meetings Get full access to Culture Shlock at malcolmfleschner.substack.com/subscribe
This week Kurt asks Malcolm to tackle the origins of the American football terms “touchdown,” “sack” and “Super Bowl,” while Malcolm challenges Kurt to come up with the original definitions of the words "nice," "broad" (meaning woman) and the often considered shameful "slut."All this and our hilarious takes on the old "Statue of Liberty" play, fraternizing with known masticators, just what precisely the word "Smurfy" was supposed to mean and our proposed events for the "Sex Olympics." Get full access to Culture Shlock at malcolmfleschner.substack.com/subscribe
In this episode Malcolm and Kurt do their best to unpack letters to Ann Landers, Carolyn Hax, Dear Prudence and more, offering our pointed critiques of the following:“A Hairy Situation in the East” who doesn’t know how to communicate to his loving girlfriend that he’s freaked out that she doesn’t shave her legs or armpits“Halloween for the 99 Percent” who asks Prudence’s advice for discouraging low-income trick-or-treaters from invading their posh neighborhood on HalloweenAn ungrateful girlfriend who wants to know if Carolyn Hax thinks she’s being petty by complaining about her boyfriend’s self-serving birthday and Christmas gifts And so much more! Get full access to Culture Shlock at malcolmfleschner.substack.com/subscribe
This week Kurt goes thematic by asking Malcolm to identify the origins of “Kick the bucket,” “Dead as a doornail” and “Shuffle off this mortal coil,” while Malcolm introduces his co-host to Cockney rhyming slang in the form of “Put up your dukes” and reveals the derivation of “Fly off the handle.”All this and our hilarious takes on Olympic boycotts through history, soft-pedaling bad news and “Going Shakespearean” in the heat of passion. Get full access to Culture Shlock at malcolmfleschner.substack.com/subscribe
Malcolm and Kurt try to stump one another about the origins of Balls to the Wall, Mad as a Hatter, Bury the Hatchet, and Butter You Up while exploring why the Bruce Springsteen lyric is "throw that old *speedball* by you" instead of *fastball* and reveal that Val Kilmer's Wyatt Earp character in Tombstone does NOT say "I'll be your huckleberry."All this and whether Malcolm is a terrible friend, why engineers and lawyers are the WORST people to do work for and how a four-way stop sign encounter can rapidly devolve into a ruinous battle of wills. Get full access to Culture Shlock at malcolmfleschner.substack.com/subscribe
In this episode Malcolm and Kurt tackle letters to advice columnists from individuals facing a host of tough situations, including:A woman who caught her 40-year-old boyfriend making out with a 16-year-old girl attending her daughter's birthday partyA new mom who pumps at work but recently discovered her expressed milk is being pilfered from the break room refrigeratorA mom worried about her 24-year-old virgin sonDealing with a husband whose Mothers Day gift is ruining their home... and much more! Get full access to Culture Shlock at malcolmfleschner.substack.com/subscribe
In this episode Malcolm and Kurt unpack letters to advice columnists covering a range of topics, including:A woman whose boyfriend of two years insists on maintaining a relationship with his ex/housemateA young man whose yearning for a lesbian friend has finally turned to romance but should they buy a house together?What the proper etiquette is for greeting the host of a party immediately after performing an impromptu act of oral pleasureIs it OK to feel put-upon after paying for the care and feeding of a friend's teen kids for two weeks if one of the kids steals cars and makes terrorist threats?... and much more! Get full access to Culture Shlock at malcolmfleschner.substack.com/subscribe
Today Malcolm and Kurt do our best to unpack letters to Dear Abby, Dear Prudence and Miss Manners, doling out our critiques to:- “Yearns To Be a Mom” a “former model” who’s 31 and desperate to get that finger ringed and start pumping out the rugrats, but just can’t find any takers- A “Dear Prudence” letter writer whose friend has begun communicating with a “dragon spirit guide” she speaks with every day- A polyamorous “Gentle Reader” who wants Miss Manners’ expert advice on how to discourage her husband from getting too hot and heavy with the female member of the couple they “swing” with while out to dinner... and much more! Get full access to Culture Shlock at malcolmfleschner.substack.com/subscribe
Malcolm and Kurt grill one another about the origins of “Under the Weather,” "Bite the Bullet,” “No Cap,” “Milquetoast” and “Steal Your Thunder“ while Kurt also tests Malcolm’s ability to guess the meaning of a foreign idiomatic expressions like “There’s no cow on the ice,” “Not my circus, not my monkeys” and “Going where the Czar goes on foot.”All this and our hilarious take on Lowenbrau’s famous “Tonight is kind of special” ad slogan, as always delivered with our signature joie de vivre, bonhomie and savoir faire! Get full access to Culture Shlock at malcolmfleschner.substack.com/subscribe
Today Malcolm and Kurt hilariously tackle letters to Dear Abby, Ask Amy and Miss Manners, sharing pointed thoughts on advice to:"Right or Wrong in Virginia," who is adamant about not going on double-dates with her husband's two-timing friend "Al.”"Finally Free," who wants to know if she was right to break things off the way she did with the married man who wasn't being honest with herA "Gentle Reader" who asked Miss Manners whether her "casual loungewear" was appropriate for brief trips into the yard to feed birds and move garbage bins"High and Dry" who says he's not sure how to tell his ex-wife he can't afford the expensive bar bill for their daughter's quinceañera party Get full access to Culture Shlock at malcolmfleschner.substack.com/subscribe
Malcolm and Kurt examine and argue about the surprising provenance of a range of terms including "level best," "on tenterhooks," and "piss-poor" while also discussing pressing questions like:Why do we say "hundreds," "thousands" and "millions" but we don't say "tens?"If you know the correct pronunciation of a widely mispronounced word, which pronunciation do you use?And plenty more, all delivered with our signature joie de vivre, wit and savoir faire! Get full access to Culture Shlock at malcolmfleschner.substack.com/subscribe
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