3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms

The first time my therapist asked me to picture "little Rachel" on the playground, glasses and all, and offer her the comfort she needed, I thought it sounded so woo-woo. I went along with it, but I was skeptical that imagining my younger self could change anything about how I feel today. What I didn't know then is that there's real science behind exercises like that one. Our sense of worth is built on our memories, and researchers are finding that when we revisit those memories in the right way, we can actually change how they're stored in the brain.This week's guest is Dr. Marisa G. Franco, psychologist and author of Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment. She explains that even though low self-esteem can feel permanent, the truth is much more hopeful: self-worth is a skill, and there are simple, research-backed practices that can help you build it at any age. In this episode, you'll learn: 🧠 Why love and success can actually feel threatening when your self-esteem is low (hint: they don't fit the story you've been telling yourself about who you are) 🧠 The ordinary childhood memory (involving soccer practice pickup) that shaped how Marisa felt every time someone ran late, and what shifted once she revisited it as her adult self 🧠 What Tetris has to do with softening painful memoriesIf you've spent years assuming that the way you feel about yourself is just who you are, I hope this conversation shows you that it can change, one memory and one moment of self-kindness at a time. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Related Episodes: 433: Making Friends as a Mom: Why It's Hard—and How to Do It Anyway // Dr. Marisa G. Franco 386: Raising Securely Attached Kids // Eli Harwood 245: You're Exactly Where You Need to Be // Alison Faulkner   Episode Sponsors: Tushy: For a limited time, our listeners get 10% off their first bidet order when you go to hellotushy.com and use code 3in30 at checkout. Quince: Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/3in30 for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Zenni: Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over sixty five dollars. Rebel⁠: Brand names you actually want in home, baby, and outdoor at up to 70% off. Go to ⁠fromrebel.com⁠. ⁠Ethos⁠: Take 10 minutes to get covered today, with life insurance through Ethos. Get your free quote at ⁠Ethos.com/3in30⁠ Application times may vary. Rates may vary. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course ***

When I interviewed Shawnee for this episode, I had to chuckle, because one of the things she listed as soul-care was volunteering for her kids' PTO. As an introvert, I think of the PTO as the classic example of something moms finally learn to say no to, so seeing it on her list of things that fill her up was the perfect reminder that there's no single right way to be a good mom.   That's the heart of the Self-Assured Motherhood Program. I'm not here to tell you what kind of mom to be. I'm here to help you figure out who you already are, what you need to thrive, and how to love your people in a way that's truly yours.This week's guest is Shawnee Burt, a SAM alum and mom of four who shares one takeaway from each of the three SAM pillars. If you've ever felt guilty for loving the parts of motherhood that other moms skip, or for needing time that's just for you, this conversation will give you permission to stop apologizing and start enjoying the mom you are. In this episode, you'll hear: 💜 The strengths night Shawnee threw for her friends, the "Bosom Beavers," after spending time digging into her own strengths, and why a few tears were shed 💜 The Alice in Wonderland party Shawnee spent weeks preparing for, and why she no longer feels guilty about it (even though her husband is convinced their house will never recover) 💜 The whiteboard calendar in Shawnee's hallway, and why Mom gets her own color on it Whether you're a mom who goes all out for birthdays or one who'd rather keep things quiet and connected, I hope this episode reminds you that your strengths make you the best mom for your kids. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: 🌟 Enrollment for the Self-Assured Motherhood Program closes Tuesday, September 22, at midnight MT! This is the last year I'll teach SAM in its current format. Classes begin October 1st. I hope you'll join me! Enroll at selfassuredmotherhood.com. Related Episodes: 502: 3 Principles that Carried Me Through a Really Difficult Summer 495: Celebrate Your Strengths // Back-to-School Check-In for Moms #2 436: Embrace the Mom You Are—Not the One You Think You Should Be // Julie Bastedo Episode Sponsors: BetterHelp: 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to betterhelp.com/3in30 to get 10% off your first month of online therapy. Quince: Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/3in30 for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Zenni: Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over sixty five dollars. Rebel: Brand names you actually want in home, baby, and outdoor at up to 70% off. Go to fromrebel.com. Ethos: Take 10 minutes to get covered today, with life insurance through Ethos. Get your free quote at Ethos.com/3in30 Application times may vary. Rates may vary. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course ***

A few weeks ago, I wasn't sure I was going to open enrollment for my Self-Assured Motherhood Program this year. Of all the work I do, SAM is where I feel like I'm making the biggest difference, but I honestly didn't know if I had it in me. My brother-in-law Logan died unexpectedly this summer, at 44 years old, and I spent most of the season at my sister's house doing dishes, walking the dog, and sitting with her in her sadness. I barely worked at all, which was exactly how it needed to be. But when my kids went back to school and I thought about gearing myself up for another enrollment period for SAM, everything in me said no. In the middle of that much loss, it was honestly hard to remember why any of my work even matters. What changed my mind was a journaling session. As I wrote about my summer, I could see that the SAM principles had been holding me up in my deep grief, and I hadn't noticed it happening while it was happening. That's what today's episode is about, because these principles aren't only useful in the seasons when you have the energy to become a little more intentional or a little more confident. The longer you practice them, they become what you default to when you're going through really difficult times. Today I'm walking through the first three principles of the SAM framework and how each one showed up for me during an excruciating summer. In this episode, you'll hear: 💜 What was taped to the wall behind my sister's desk since 2022, and how it ended up in Logan's obituary 💜 The one thing I never did, not once, in a whole month of caring for a grieving family 💜 Why I canceled a signed contract on our house in late July These experiences are deeply personal to me, but I really do believe they're universal in application, because when you know yourself and honor your needs, you can better love and support your people. That's the whole heart of SAM, and I'd love to spend this year walking through it with a new group of women. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: ✨ Enrollment for the Self-Assured Motherhood program is open through Tuesday, September 22nd, and it only opens once a year. Classes start October 1st. All the details are at 3in30podcast.com/sam. ✨ Still deciding? Join me for a free preview class on Tuesday, September 15th or Friday, September 18th at 10:30 a.m. MT. Sign up at 3in30podcast.com/freeclass, and I'll send the replay if you can't make it live. ✨ Logan's full life sketch is on my sister's blog Related Episodes: 484: In Memory of Logan McKenna: A Conversation with my Beloved Brother-in-Law 448: Join Our Team! A Word from our SAM Sisters 316: Considering the SAM Program? You MUST listen to this. Episode Sponsors: BetterHelp: 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to betterhelp.com/3in30 to get 10% off your first month of online therapy. Quince: Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/3in30 for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Zenni: Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over sixty five dollars. Rebel: Brand names you actually want in home, baby, and outdoor at up to 70% off. Go to fromrebel.com. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course ***

The sign-ups have started coming in. Fall sports, piano, dance, school plays – it's a lot. And while we know we want our kids to be involved in things so they can thrive, too often we're left burned out and... not thriving. It's easy to assume the problem is the number of activities, and that the fix is to cut something. And sometimes it is. But a lot of the time, the schedule isn't actually the thing making us feel resentful or burned out or exhausted, and cutting out activites won't necessarily touch what's really going on. This week's guest is Meesha Slade, a mom of three busy kids, and she goes underneath the scheduling question, to the question I think we are actually asking, which is, "How do I do this in a way that doesn't cost me myself?" In this episode, you'll hear: 🚗 The brain dump Meesha did while sitting outside her son's TaeKwonDo class, and what showed up on the page that helped her resentment start to lift 🚗 The two hours Meesha spent stewing in a Scout room, and the boundary she set that night that has held ever since 🚗 Why Meesha's daughter was willing to join the swim team but refused to compete in a single meet for three years, and why Meesha decided to accept it This episode isn't going to tell you the right number of activities for your family, because there isn't one. Instead, you'll walk away with more confidence to know what's best for your family during this season so that each person in your family can thrive, including you. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: If this episode has you thinking that you'd like to get clearer on what actually matters to you, I'm teaching a free class called How to Show Up More Like the Mom You Want to Be Every Day (Give or Take a Few), offered twice: Tuesday, September 15th and Friday, September 18th, both at 10:30 am MST. In one hour, I'll walk you through the same kind of exercise that helped Meesha see her values on paper. Save your spot at 3in30podcast.com/freeclass. Related Episodes: 494: Voice Your Values // The Back-to-School Check-In for Moms #1 473: Three Things That Help Me Stay Sane During Busy, Overwhelming Seasons 375: 3 Ways Voicing Your Values will Help Lighten your Mental Load // Rachel Nielson on the Happy Mom Summit Episode Sponsors: Quince: Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/3in30 for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. Zenni: Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over sixty five dollars. Rebel: Brand names you actually want in home, baby, and outdoor at up to 70% off. Go to fromrebel.com. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course ***

Consistency has never come easily to me. I'm a scattered creative, I have ADHD, and I have struggled with routines and habits for pretty much my whole life. For years I assumed that meant something was wrong with me, and I felt like it was my fault that I couldn't stay consistent with anything. But this week's guest, Monica Packer, has changed how I feel about habit-building. Monica hosts the podcast About Progress, she recently wrote the book Sticky Habits, and she's one of my best friends in real life. She has spent a decade teaching women to build habits in a way that is compassionate and realistic for busy moms. She gave me a new definition of consistency in this conversation, and it is the first one that has ever made habit-building feel possible for someone like me. In this episode, you'll learn: 🫶 The research on invisible labor that explains why habit advice written for men keeps failing you 🫶 Why our insistence on doing it perfectly is the very thing keeping us from staying consistent 🫶 What Monica did to make the habit of going to bed at a good time stick, even though she hates it If you've been feeling the pull to reset all of your routines and create a bunch of new habits this back-to-school season, I hope this episode can help you do so in a way that's supportive and compassionate. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: ✨ Sign-ups just opened for a brand new free masterclass I'm teaching: How to Show Up More Like the Mom You Want to Be Every Day (give or take a few 😉). I'll be teaching one tool, not a fancy system or a huge overhaul. I'm teaching it live on Tuesday, September 15th and Friday, September 18th, both at 10:30 a.m. MT. Save your spot here! ✨ Monica's book, Sticky Habits: A Woman's Guide to Reclaim Happiness, Ditch Perfectionism, and Create Habits That Last, comes out September 8th. If you pre-order at stickyhabitsbook.com, then you're invited to the virtual launch party on September 8th, which I am co-hosting. Come join!   Related Episodes: 267: How to Stop Procrastinating in the New Year // Monica Packer 214: Simple Tips to Create New Habits in the New Year // BJ Fogg 269: How to Create a Morning Routine that will Last // Sara Dean Episode Sponsors: Quince: Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to Quince.com/3in30 for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. K12 Powered Schools: See how K12 Powered Schools can help unlock your child's full potential. Enroll online today at K12.com/3in30. Zenni: Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order, plus free shipping on all US orders over sixty five dollars. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course ***