3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms

I didn't learn until I was 40 years old that my body moves through four distinct phases every single month — and that each one of those phases affects my mood, my energy, my patience, and my ability to connect with the people I love. Which means that the version of me who felt so present and empathetic last Tuesday wasn't just "having a good day." And the version of me who snapped at everyone before dinner on Friday wasn't failing. Both of those women were showing up exactly on schedule — I just didn't have the language for it yet. This episode is about what becomes possible when we finally have that language, and how empowering it is to understand our bodies well enough to show up the way we actually want to — and to have real grace for ourselves when that's harder. This week's guest is Shara Jackson Harper, a licensed mental health therapist, hormone and cycle guide, and mother of five who helps women understand how their internal rhythms shape the way they show up for the people they love most. In this episode, you'll learn: ✨ The golden conversation Shara had with her 15-year-old son — and the specific reason she believes the timing made all the difference ✨ Why most women are often carrying a "basket of shame" about their hard days, and what Shara says we can do with it instead ✨ The simple three-part formula Shara uses to talk to her own family about where she is in her cycle — and why her kids actually know what "lower bandwidth week" means So here's to understanding ourselves a little better, giving ourselves a little more grace, and showing up for our people in the ways we actually want to.   For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: Hormone Cycle Guide: Shara has created a free handout with an overview of all four phases of the menstrual cycle plus a printable tracker to help you start noticing your own patterns. Grab it at 3in30podcast.com/cycleconnection.   March 30th is 3 in 30 Day! This year I wanted to celebrate by highlighting YOU. I'm collecting voice messages from listeners sharing your favorite episode and what about it made an impact or stayed with you, and my podcast editor is going to weave them all together into one really special episode. Prefer to write it out instead? You can do that too. Just head to 3in30podcast.com/tellrachel before March 20th. It only takes a minute, and I really cannot wait to hear from you. Related Episodes: 410: Align Your Goal-Setting with Your Menstrual Cycle // April Davis of Haus of Vagina 314: How to Feel Like Yourself in Motherhood // Aleisha McKean 205: How to Coach Yourself Through Big Emotions // Georgia Anderson Episode Sponsors: Skylight: Skylight offers a 120-day guarantee—if you're not thrilled, full refund. Right now, get $30 off the 15-inch Calendar at MySkylight.com/TAKEAWAYS. That's M-Y-S-K-Y-L-I-G-H-T dot com slash TAKEAWAYS Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A year ago this month, the travel and motherhood world lost Elise Caffee — blogger, adventurer, mother of three, and the woman behind the hashtag "take the trip." Elise believed, down to her bones, that making memories with your kids was always worth it — the chaos, the cost, the exhaustion, all of it. This episode is for her.   This week's guest is Tiffany Rosenhan, Elise's dear friend, co-author, and co-founder of Jumelle Press. Together, they wrote Pippa and Poppy Adventure — a beautiful children's book about two identical twins exploring Europe — and Tiffany is here today to carry Elise's message forward. With spring break just around the corner, her three takeaways feel especially timely — whether you're heading somewhere far or just loading up the car for a day trip an hour from home. In this episode, you'll hear: 🧳 The story of why Tiffany's family pulled their kids out of school and traveled abroad for five months — and why she says she'd do it again without hesitation 🧳 What Elise's daughters did three weeks after she passed away, and what it reveals about the culture she built in her family 🧳 The surprising science behind why travel builds stronger memories in kids' brains than almost anything else you can do together So here's to loading up the car, booking the day trip, or simply putting the phone down and being present with your people this spring. The memories don't require a passport — they just require you.   For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: March 30th is 3 in 30 Day — and this year I'm celebrating by highlighting YOU! Share your favorite episode and its impact at 3in30podcast.com/tellrachel before March 20th, and your message may be woven into a very special episode. Related Episodes: 453: How to Travel for FREE with Your Family (Really!) // Amber Paul 418: Staying Home for Spring Break? 3 Ways to Make it Memorable (and Manageable!) // 3 in 30 Team 431: 3 Road Trip Hacks for Traveling with Kids // Brittney Hanks Episode Sponsors: BetterHelp: 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to betterhelp.com/3in30 to get 10% off your first month of online therapy. Bubs Naturals: Live Better Longer! For a limited time only, our listeners are getting 20% OFF at bubsnaturals.com by using code 3in30 at checkout. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A few years ago, I read a book that made me think it was reading my mind. In the introduction, the author asks: Do you ever feel like you're running faster but not moving any closer to your goals? Do you want to make a higher contribution but you lack the energy? Are you teetering right on the edge of burnout? I wrote, "Yes, yes, yes!" next to each question in the margin of my copy. The book is Effortless by Greg McKeown, and it's the follow-up to his first book Essentialism, which I talked about in last week's episode. In today's episode, Greg talks about how we can lighten the load of motherhood without burning out. Greg acknowledges that life is genuinely hard—raising children is hard, paying the bills is hard, strained relationships are hard—and he's not promising to eliminate those hardships. But he does offer tools that can help lighten the load, and that's exactly what we talk about in this episode. In this episode, you'll learn: 💜 Why striving for 100% effort actually makes you less effective—and the optimal pace that will help you go further without burning out 💜 The question Greg asks when everything feels overwhelming (hint: it's not "what can I cut?" but something far more freeing) 💜 What radical gratitude actually means—and why it's the only thing powerful enough to counter the suffering we all experience in motherhood If you've been running on empty, if the mental and emotional load feels crushing, or if you're wondering how to keep showing up when everything feels so hard, this conversation will meet you right where you are. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: My Declutter Your Motherhood audio course walks you through the exact process I use to release the "shoulds" that don't fit me anymore and make room for what actually brings me joy. Related Episodes: 468: Stop the Runaway Train: How to Get Back to What Actually Matters 412: How to Overcome Overwhelm 401: How Radical Gratitude Can Change Your Life // Dr. Tanmeet Sethi Episode Sponsors: Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first set of sheets plus free shipping at BollAndBranch.com/3IN30. Laundry Sauce: For a limited time only, our listeners get 20% off your entire order when you use code 3in30 at LaundrySauce.com. Skylight: Right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15 inch Calendars by going to MySkylight.com/TAKEAWAYS. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Right now I am definitely feeling the pull to simplify things in my life. I even said to my husband the other day, "I feel a bit like I'm on a runaway train!" Luckily, it's not the first time I've felt this way. I now know that this happens sometimes and life will suddenly accelerate faster than I intended. But here's what I've learned: I'm not actually on a runaway train. I can choose to get off. The harder question is how—and that's exactly what this episode is about. As I take a break from new episodes this month in an effort to get off the train, it was important to me to re-air this episode that essentially taught me how to figure out what actually needs my energy—and what doesn't. It's based on Greg McKeown's book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less. Greg's work has been part of my mental bookshelf for a decade, and these lessons about becoming an essentialist help me recalibrate whenever I need them. In this episode, you'll learn: 🚂 Why the word "priority" was originally singular (and stayed that way for 500 years)—and what that means for how we should be living our lives 🚂 The question Greg McKeown asks himself when he's overwhelmed in a hotel room at midnight that helps him figure out what actually matters right now 🚂 How to stop diffusing your energy in a million directions and start making real progress in the areas that matter most For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: I'm taking a break from airing new episodes during February so I can rest and honor the needs of my body, mind, and spirit. I'm practicing what I preach by sanctifying my soul care this month, and I hope these encore episodes inspire you to do the same. This episode beautifully supports the fourth principle of the Self-Assured Motherhood Framework: Sanctify Your Soul Care. Related Episodes: 438: How Soul-Care Can Help You Enjoy Motherhood More: Real Stories from Moms Like You // SAM Sisters 441: The 4 Types of Self-Care Every Mom Needs // Mia Hemstad 412: How to Overcome Overwhelm Episode Sponsors: Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first set of sheets plus free shipping at BollAndBranch.com/3IN30. Wildgrain: Wildgrain is offering our listeners $30 off your first box—PLUS free Croissants for life—when you go to Wildgrain.com/3IN30 to start your subscription today. AirDoctor: Head to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code 3IN30 to get up to $300 off today! AirDoctor comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee, plus a 3-year warranty—an $84 value, free! Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's easy to notice when your marriage feels disconnected, but it's much harder to know what to actually do about it. And it's even harder to look at your own part in the dynamic instead of just wishing your partner would change. This Valentine's Week, I'm bringing back one of my favorite conversations with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, a relationship and sexuality coach whose work has profoundly impacted my own marriage. In this encore episode, she shares three concrete, actionable things we can do right now to become better partners and strengthen our marriages. In this episode, you'll learn: 💜 The one quality Dr. Jennifer looks for in a great partner (most of us avoid it, but it's what makes marriages actually work) 💜 Why how you handle disappointment matters more than compatibility 💜 What's really behind sexual disconnection—and it's not lack of desire Dr. Jennifer has a gift for helping us see our blind spots without shame, and this conversation gave me concrete things I could actually do instead of just wishing things were different. While this episode won't hand you a perfect marriage, it will show you how to stop waiting for your spouse to change and start working on what you can actually control. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: Dr. Jennifer's book That We Might Have Joy: Desire, Divinity and Intimate Love is now available. I listened to it on audio and then immediately ordered the paperback so I could mark it up. Grab it here. I've created an entire playlist of relationship-focused episodes. Access it here. Related Episodes: 342: Communicating to your Partner that Things Need to Change // Eli Harwood 222: How to Repair after a Fight with your Partner // Jocelyn and Aaron Freeman 223: Sex and Motherhood // Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife Episode Sponsors: Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first set of sheets plus free shipping at BollAndBranch.com/3IN30. First Day: For a limited time only, our listeners are getting an insane deal. Use code 3IN30 to get up to 57% Off at First Day dot com. That's up to 57% Off and a Free Gift with code 3IN30 at FirstDay.com. After you purchase, they will ask you where you heard about them. PLEASE support our show and tell them our show sent you. BetterHelp: 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to betterhelp.com/3in30 to get 10% off your first month of online therapy. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Six weeks before I recorded this episode, I woke up early with my heart pounding so hard I couldn't ignore it. The house was dark, everything was quiet, and as I lay there thinking about the medication I was on, the surgeries I'd been through, the pace I'd been keeping, this thought came to me so clearly: This is my life. No one is going to fix this for me. I am the one who has to change this. I was dealing with chronic health issues, and my body was forcing me to confront some hard truths about how I was living. That morning, I realized I couldn't keep pushing through and ignoring what my body was trying to tell me. So I did something that terrified me—I took a full month off from my podcast even though I had 40 people waiting to be guests.That was back in 2019, and I'm re-airing this episode now because I'm taking my own advice again. This time it's different—my health issues from 2019 have resolved, and I'm not in crisis mode. I'm pausing this February simply because I need space to breathe, think, and recalibrate. I'm not waiting for the summer chaos or for things to fall apart. I'm choosing rest before I need it desperately, and I want you to know that you can do the same. In this episode, you'll learn: 🧘🏽‍♀️ Why waiting for the "right time" to rest might be the very thing keeping you stuck 🧘🏽‍♀️ The one realization that shifted everything about how I approach my responsibilities (hint: it starts with "I could...") 🧘🏽‍♀️ The three practical steps to taking a pause that actually restores you instead of just adding to your guilt If you've been running on empty and telling yourself you'll rest later, this episode is your permission slip. You don't have to wait for a breakdown to take a break. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: Need help figuring out what actually needs to stay in your life and what you can let go? My Motherhood Decluttered course helps you clear the mental and emotional clutter so you can focus on what truly matters. Learn more by clicking on the link. Related Episodes: 441: The 4 Types of Self-Care Every Mom Needs // Mia Hemstad 437: Boundaries and Emotional Resilience in Motherhood // Dr. Jen Riday 320: Making Space for Self-Care: It Might Not Be As Hard As You Think // Dr. Nicole Sparks Episode Sponsors: Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first set of sheets plus free shipping at BollAndBranch.com/3IN30. Hand Lettered Design: You can get 10% off your order at Hand Lettered Design with the code Rachel10 at checkout. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you have a strong-willed child, you know how much energy they require—and if you have other kids too, you've probably wondered what this dynamic is doing to their siblings. Are they getting lost in the shuffle? Will they resent their brother or sister? Will they resent you? Many parents worry that their quieter child is fading into the background while the spicy one commands all the attention. And even though you're doing your best, it's hard to know how to protect all your kids when one requires so much more support. In this week's episode, I talked with Mary Van Geffen, author of the brand new book Parenting A Spicy One: Raising a Strong-Willed Child Without Breaking Their Spirit or Yours. Mary brings both personal experience as a former spicy child herself and professional expertise as a parenting educator, and she teaches us how to navigate sibling relationships in a way that protects everyone—including the child you might not realize needs protecting. In this episode, you'll learn: 🌶️ Why your "easy" child might be protecting you from their own needs (and what that quietly costs them as they grow up) 🌶️ What your spicy child secretly believes about themselves and their "perfect" sibling—and how it's hurting them both 🌶️ The Home Alone truth about strong-willed kids that changes everything (yes, Kevin McCallister is a spicy one, and we can learn from him) Whether you have a spicy child or not, this conversation will shift how you think about sibling conflict and what it actually takes to protect the relationships between your kids. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: If you're raising a spicy child and want help finding the joy in those big personalities, the Flecks of Gold Journal helps you notice and celebrate what's going right—even on the hard days. Use code 3in30 for 10% off! Related Episodes: 440: How to Parent Strong-Willed Children Without Breaking Their Spirit // Mary Van Geffen 452: You Yelled... Now What? How to Repair and Reconnect // Devon Kuntzman 332: How to Delight in Your Difficult Child Episode Sponsors: Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first set of sheets plus free shipping at BollAndBranch.com/3IN30. Laundry Sauce: For a limited time only, my listeners get 20% off your entire order when you use code 3in30 at LaundrySauce.com. Skylight Calendar: Right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15-inch calendars by going to MySkylight.com/TAKEAWAYS. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I stood at the stove the other night, and in the span of ten minutes, I was asked where the charger was, where the batteries are kept, and where the headphones went. And I thought, why am I the only person in this house who knows where anything is? It's not that my kids are incapable. It's that my home isn't set up in a way that lets them help themselves. Everything requires me—finding things, remembering where things are kept, managing everyone's ability to function in our space. And that is exhausting. But what if your home could actually lighten your load instead of adding to it? What if the setup of your space could reduce the friction, the yelling, the constant need for you to be the only one who knows where things are? That's what today's conversation is about—thinking of your home as your parenting partner. In this episode, you'll learn: 🏡 Why your home might be working against you (and the small shifts that help it work with you instead) 🏡 The one question to ask during a meltdown that changes everything 🏡 How to identify the hotspot in your home that's draining your energy most (and what to do about it!)If you're heading into this new year wanting to lighten your mental load just a little bit, this episode is a great place to start. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: Motherhood Decluttered: Today is the last day to get my Motherhood Decluttered audio course for $50 off with code MOREJOY. Get it today for $47 and revisit it anytime to help you lighten your mental load any time you shift into a new season. Learn more at 3in30podcast.com/declutter. Jan's Interactive Quiz: Download the free checklist, “101-Point Home Stress Diagnostic.” It’s packed with simple, practical shifts moms can start using right away to make their homes work with them instead of against them. Related Episodes: 411: Decluttering That Sticks: 3 Mindset Changes for Lasting Impact // Erica Layne 268: More Peace, Less Frustration: The Power of Family Systems // Susie Salinas 351: Is Your Messy House Getting You Down? // Carly Thornock Episode Sponsors: Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first set of sheets plus free shipping at BollAndBranch.com/3IN30. AirDoctorPro: Head to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code 3IN30 to get up to $300 off. BetterHelp: 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to betterhelp.com/3in30 to get 10% off your first month of online therapy. HungryRoot: For a limited time get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life. Go to Hungryroot.com/3IN30 and use code 3IN30. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I recently sat down to reflect on 2025, and I was honestly shocked by how much lighter my life feels now compared to just a few years ago. I'm not talking about having less to do. I'm talking about releasing the weight of expectations that never fit me in the first place. The guilt over my son's screen time, the pressure to have my spiritual life look a certain way, the belief that I had to maximize my income at all costs. When I started letting those shoulds go, something beautiful happened—I made room for so much more joy. In this episode, I'm sharing specific examples of how I decluttered my motherhood in 2025 and what shifted when I gave myself permission to stop performing and start living. You'll also hear the first lesson from my Motherhood Decluttered audio course, which walks you through the process I used to create this kind of lightness and freedom in my own life. In this episode, you'll learn: ✨ The exact shoulds I released in 2025 (and the joy I found when I let them go) ✨ How decluttering your internal "motherhood closet" creates space for what actually matters to you ✨ Why letting go of heavy expectations isn't about doing less but about making room for more of what brings you aliveIf you've been carrying shoulds that don't fit you anymore, this episode will help you see that you don't have to become a "better" mom in 2026. You just need to become a less burdened one. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: Motherhood Decluttered: My Motherhood Decluttered audio course is $50 off through January 19th with code MOREJOY. Get it today for $47 and revisit it anytime you shift into a new season. Learn more at 3in30podcast.com/declutter.Flecks of Gold: Today is the last day of the Flecks of Gold New Year's Sale! Get 10% off with code NEWYEAR. Related Episodes: 214: Simple Tips to Create New Habits in the New Year // BJ Fogg 411: Decluttering That Sticks: 3 Mindset Changes for Lasting Impact // Erica Layne 462: 3 Questions for the New Year Episode Sponsors: Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first set of sheets plus free shipping at BollAndBranch.com/3IN30. Wildgrain: Right now, Wildgrain is offering our listeners $30 off your first box—PLUS free Croissants for life—when you go to Wildgrain.com/3IN30 to start your subscription today. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A few years ago, I was sitting in a coffee shop feeling completely overwhelmed by all the things I thought I should be doing better—as a mom, as a wife, in my work, in every area of my life. My brain was foggy, my to-do list felt impossible, and I couldn't shake the feeling that I was failing at everything. So I grabbed a pen and started writing—and three questions emerged that helped me cut through the noise and get clear on what I truly valued, not what everyone else expected of me. In this episode, I'm re-airing that original conversation from January 2022, and then coming back at the end to share what's happened since—what worked, what didn't, and how I'm answering those same questions for 2026. This isn't about pressure or perfection. It's about growing in ways that align with YOUR values. In this episode, you'll learn: ✨ Why you might be chasing growth without ever feeling successful—and how to fix that ✨ The uncomfortable question that instantly clarifies what truly matters to you ✨ How one small habit shift can create a ripple effect across your entire lifeIf you've been feeling like everyone else got a head start on 2026 except you, I hope this conversation reminds you that the right questions matter more than the perfect goals. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: Motherhood Decluttered Sale! My Motherhood Decluttered course is $50 off through January 19th with code MOREJOY. New Years Reflections Worksheet: If you want a worksheet to go through these three questions for yourself, I created one for you. Print it off, grab a cozy drink, and spend 20 minutes getting clear on what you actually want this year, not what you think you're supposed to want. Flecks of Gold: Shop our Flecks of Gold New Year's Sale! Get 10% off with code NEWYEAR through Jan 12! Related Episodes: 410: Align Your Goal-Setting with Your Menstrual Cycle // April Davis of Haus of Vagina 011: Setting Goals without Sacrificing Sanity // Monica Packer of About Progress 214: Simple Tips to Create New Habits in the New Year // BJ FoggEpisode Sponsors: Boll & Branch: Get 15% off your first set of sheets plus free shipping at BollAndBranch.com/3IN30. BetterHelp: 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to betterhelp.com/3in30 to get 10% off your first month of online therapy. Hungryroot: For a limited time get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life. Go to Hungryroot.com/3IN30 and use code 3IN30. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** 00:00:00 Intro 08:17:00 One: What Small Habit? 11:44:00 Two: What Is Success? 17:40:00 Three: What If Only 3 Years? 27:59:26 Summary Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's mid-December, everyone's running on fumes, and your child just screamed "I hate you." And even though you know it's the exhaustion talking, it still stings because you're killing yourself to make the holidays special, and this is what you get in return. The truth is, the holidays amplify everything: the excitement, the overstimulation, the meltdowns, and yes, the hurtful words our kids don't fully understand yet. But here's what I've learned after years of navigating big emotions with my own strong-willed kids: how we respond in these moments matters more than we think, and there are ways to handle it that actually strengthen our relationship with them instead of damaging it. This is an encore episode from March 2023, and I'm bringing it back because this message feels especially timely right now. I'm sharing audio from an Instagram Live I recorded about an experience with my son six years ago, and then I'll walk you through three things I've learned about what to do when your child says they hate you or uses other big, hurtful words that land like a punch. In this episode, you'll discover: 🎄 Why your instinct to "show them who's boss" in the heat of the moment actually backfires 🎄 The one-word response that validates your child's big feelings while protecting your own heart 🎄 How to know if your child needs outside support beyond what you can provide at home If your child has said "I hate you" to you this December, I want you to know you're not failing, and there is a way through this that brings you closer together instead of further apart. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: Start 2026 with more connection and less guilt. The Flecks of Gold Journal gives you a simple way to notice the good in your child in just a few minutes a day. Grab yours before the year ends. 💜 Related Episodes: 452: How to Repair with Your Child After Yelling // Devon Kuntzman 232: Minimizing Power Struggles // Denaye Barahona 030: How to Coach Your Children through Big Emotions // Georgia Anderson 004: How to Stop Yelling at your Kids // Ralphie Jacobs of Simply on Purpose Episode Sponsors: AirDoctor: Head to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code 3IN30 to get up to $300 off. It comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee and a 3-year warranty. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** 00:00:00 Introduction 03:02:00 The Story 18:46:00 One: Be the Adult 21:39:00 Two: Validate the Emotions 25:37:00 Three: Get Outside Support 29:20:05 Summary Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As the days get shorter and the cold settles in, I can feel the pull to just hunker down and survive until spring, and I have to consciously choose not to give in to it. Maybe your winter is the literal season, the dark mornings and the gray stretches that feel endless. Or maybe your winter looks different—a season of grief, a transition you didn't choose, something in your life that just feels stuck and heavy and long. Either way, we've been taught to brace ourselves and push through hard seasons, to just survive until things get better. But what if there's a different way? What if the struggle isn't really about what's happening around us, but about how we've learned to relate to it? This week, I'm talking with Jamie from Rise Meditate, who spent years dreading winter and has now developed a beautiful framework for working with hard seasons instead of just enduring them. In this episode, you'll hear: ❄️ Why your winter struggle might have nothing to do with the actual weather (and everything to do with the stories you're carrying) ❄️ The study that proved fear can be passed down for 14 generations and what that means for your nervous system ❄️ What happened when Jamie finally stepped outside after years of avoiding winter (and why it felt like escaping from prison) I know winters—whether they're the actual weather or the seasons of life that feel impossible to get through—can be so hard. If even one thing from this conversation helps you feel a little less stuck or a little more empowered, that matters. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: 📔 Today is the last day to order the Flecks of Gold Journal and receive it before Christmas! This simple gratitude practice helps you notice and name the small, beautiful moments with your kids every day—and it's incredibly supportive of your mental health, especially during the "winters" of our lives. Order before midnight tonight at 3in30podcast.com/gold. Related Episodes: 414: Feeling Low Right Now? 3 Tools to Help You Cope // Sarah McKenna 406: Navigating Holiday Melancholy // Dr. Tanmeet Sethi How to Support a Friend during the Holidays who has Lost a Loved One // Rachel Gainer Episode Sponsors: Skylight: Right now, get $30 off the 15-inch Calendar at MySkylight.com/TAKEAWAYS. Hand-Lettered Design:  If you're looking for the perfect gift for a child or woman in your life who likes art or creativity, this is it. You can get 10% off your order at Hand Lettered Design with the code Rachel10. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's December, and if you've been feeling like you're running on fumes, snapping at your kids over the smallest things, or desperately craving a dark room where nobody needs anything from you—you're not the only one! The holidays bring so much beauty and connection, but they also bring overstimulation, dysregulation, and that version of ourselves we don't always recognize. The one who gets sarcastic and snippy when our partner walks in and asks what's for dinner. The one who hates everyone around us by 5 PM, even though we love them deeply. This week, I'm joined by Alyssa Blask Campbell, M.Ed., CEO and founder of Seed & Sew, globally recognized expert in emotional development, and author of Tiny Humans, Big Emotions and her newest book, Big Kids, Bigger Feelings, which just came out. Alyssa is here to help us understand what's actually happening in our bodies when we get overwhelmed—and more importantly, what we can do about it. In this episode, you'll learn: 🎄 Why I threw a waffle across the room one morning a couple of years ago, and what I learned about myself and nervous system dysregulation in the aftermath 🎄 Why regulating your nervous system isn't about "thinking your way out of it" 🎄 Five practical, accessible strategies you can use right now to stay regulated This conversation is exactly what I needed heading into December. Because when we understand our nervous systems and give ourselves the tools to regulate, we start showing up as the moms we actually want to be. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: ✨ Take Alyssa's free sensory regulation questionnaire at seedquiz.com to discover what drains you, what recharges you, and how to support your nervous system this holiday season. ✨ Today is the last day of our Slow-vember Sale where Flecks of Gold is $5 off! This journal is designed to help you savor the small, sacred moments of motherhood and find beauty in the everyday chaos. Related Episodes: 449: 3 Simple Strategies to Prevent After-School Meltdowns // Alyssa Blask Campbell 405: 3 Tips to Manage Your Mental Load During the Holidays // 3 in 30 Team 325: How to have Less-Stressful, More Meaningful Holidays // Desirae Endres from Minimal-ish Sponsors: Hand-Lettered Design:  If you're looking for the perfect gift for a child or woman in your life who likes art or creativity, this is it. You can get 10% off your order at Hand Lettered Design with the code Rachel10. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You know that sting in your chest when one of your kids says "I hate you" or slams their door in anger? Every instinct in you wants to smooth it over, to fix it, to make them not be mad at you anymore. But what if your discomfort with their anger is actually getting in the way of the connection you're trying to build? In this episode, I'm talking with my longtime friend Eli Harwood, known online as Attachment Nerd. She's a licensed therapist, attachment expert, and bestselling author who earned secure attachment in her own life after a difficult childhood. Eli shares three simple phrases her mom said to her that helped heal their relationship and build trust between them—phrases any of us can start using today. In this episode, you'll learn: 💜 Why Eli's mom had to convince herself it was okay for Eli to be mad at her 💜 The difference between "right side up" and "upside down" parenting 💜 What Eli thinks about adult children cutting off their parents—and why nobody does this lightly Even if you didn't grow up with secure attachment modeled for you, even if you've made mistakes, you can start building that bond with your kids today. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: ✨ Want to start noticing the good in your motherhood? The Flecks of Gold Journal is a simple one-line-a-day practice that helps you see your kids and your life differently. Grab yours here—it's the perfect gift for yourself or another mom this holiday season. Related Episodes: 387: Why Calming Yourself Helps Calm Your Child // Eli Harwood, MA, LPC 386: Raising Securely Attached Kids // Eli Harwood, MA, LPC 367: 3 Ways to Create Lasting Bonds with Your Kids // Mike Westover (Rachel's Dad!) Episode Sponsors: Factor: Eat smart at FactorMeals dot com SLASH 3in3050off and use code 3in3050off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You know that feeling when you're completely tapped out—when you can't give one more ounce of yourself to anyone, including you? That's not just exhaustion. That's burnout. And it doesn't mean you're failing at motherhood. This week is Thanksgiving 🦃, and for many of us, that means facing all the "lions"—family dynamics, cooking timelines, travel stress, and that never-ending holiday mental load. But here's the thing: your body doesn't know the difference between being chased by a lion and planning Thanksgiving dinner. And that matters more than you think. When I was a mom of young kids, I was deep in burnout—new baby who wouldn't stop crying, a husband working endless resident hours, and grief I hadn't processed from losing my own mom. I felt like the fire inside me had completely gone out. But I learned something powerful: recovering from burnout isn't about powering through or getting more sleep. It's about rekindling your fire in your body, your mind, and your spirit. In this encore episode (one of my all-time favorites), I'm sharing three science-backed strategies that helped me climb out of depletion mode—and that I still use today when I feel myself slipping. Even if you're not fully burned out right now, these tools will help you notice when you're heading in that direction and course-correct before you're running on empty. In this episode you'll learn: 🏃‍♀️ Why you hold onto every hard moment but forget the good ones by bedtime—and how to fix it 🧠 What Thanksgiving dinner planning and being chased by a lion have in common (spoiler: your nervous system can't tell the difference) 💓 The physical things your body needs to believe it's safe (because telling yourself to relax doesn't work!) Free worksheet! Download the Recovering from Mom Burnout worksheet with reflection prompts at 3in30podcast.com/recover For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: ✨ Slow-vember Reminder! Find calm in the chaos with our Flecks of Gold Journal—on sale now for $5 off through December 8 at 3in30podcast.com/flecks. A quick daily note of gratitude might just be the simplest soul-care practice you add this season. 💜 Related Episodes: 441: The 4 Types of Self-Care Every Mom Needs // Mia Hemstad 413: What to Do When You’re Juggling Too Much // Amy Wilson 398: How to Plan for an Energizing (not Exhausting) Holiday Season // Dr. Amber Price Episode Sponsors: AirDoctor: Head to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code 3in30 to get up to $300 off today! It comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee and a free 3-year warranty—an $84 value Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Managing ADHD during the holidays takes more than willpower—it takes understanding your brain and planning around it with compassion. When I started researching ADHD to help one of my kids, I didn’t expect to discover that I had it too. But learning how my brain works has changed everything about how I approach motherhood, especially during the busiest season of the year.   In this episode, I’m joined by Amy Marie Hann, author of Master the Mundane, to talk about how ADHD shows up in motherhood and how we can create calmer, more intentional rhythms through the chaos of the holidays. Amy’s wisdom helped me see my brain with more grace and gave me tools to protect my energy instead of pushing past my limits. Even if you don’t have ADHD, this conversation will help you navigate the mental load of motherhood with more clarity, calm, and self-kindness. In this episode you’ll learn: 🧠 How to recognize when you’ve slipped into “depletion mode” — and what to do to climb out of it. 🧠 How to build a holiday season that fits your brain’s actual capacity (not everyone else’s). 🧠 Why rest and creativity are non-negotiable if you want to avoid ADHD burnout. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: ✨ Slow-vember Reminder! Find calm in the chaos with our Flecks of Gold Journal—on sale now for $5 off through December 8 at 3in30podcast.com/flecks. A quick daily note of gratitude might just be the simplest soul-care practice you add this season. 💜 Related Episodes: 403: Brain Science Simplified: How to Be a More Effective Parent // Dr. Dan Siegel 391: Parenting a Child with ADHD: How to Stay Calm and Connected // Rachel on The Childhood Collective 323: Parenting with ADHD // Alex Gilbert Episode Sponsors: BetterHelp: 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to betterhelp.com/3in30 to get 10% off your first month of online therapy. Cure Hydration: For 3 in 30 listeners, you can get 20% off your first order at curehydration.com/3in30 with code 3in30. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When I think about the kind of parent I want to be, I often think about my dad—steady, grounding, and always there. His quiet consistency has shaped so much of how I show up for my own children. And that’s why Glen Henry’s new book, Father Yourself First: Everything You Need to Become the Father Your Family Deserves, caught my attention.   Even though Glen wrote this book for fathers, the message is one every parent needs: to be a steady presence for our children, we first have to become our own source of stability. This conversation will help you see your partner—and yourself—with more empathy. It’s an honest, funny look at what happens when we slow down, let each other learn, and create a home where everyone is growing. Plus, you’ll also hear: 💜 Why I couldn’t stop laughing when Ryan pointed out that every light in the house was on. 💜 How inviting others to see your family’s real life can be one of the most meaningful ways to lead. 💜 What weight-lifting has to do with empathy—and why partnership in parenting might take more muscle than you think. Listen in for wisdom, warmth, and a few good laughs as Glen shares what it really means to “father yourself first.” For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: ✨ Our annual Slow-vember Sale is happening now! Get $5 off all Flecks of Gold Journals—including the new camel leather edition (it’s absolutely gorgeous!)—through December 15. Slow down, savor the season, and notice the good in your motherhood. Related Episodes: 367: 3 Ways to Create Lasting Bonds with Your Kids // Mike Westover (Rachel’s Dad!) 365: Intentional Fatherhood // Tal Eyre 153: How to Actually Hear Your Spouse // Yvette and Glen Henry Episode Sponsors: Skylight Calendar: Right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15 inch Calendars by going to MySkylight.com/TAKEAWAYS. KiwiCo: Tinker, create, and innovate with KiwiCo! Get up to 50% off your first crate at kiwico.com, promo code 3in30. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The holidays often bring equal parts joy and exhaustion. Between school programs, family gatherings, and the endless to-do lists, it’s easy to feel like you’re giving everything you have...but still falling short of the calm and connection you crave. In this episode, psychotherapist and best-selling author Niro Feliciano shares three practical takeaways from her new book All Is Calm-ish: How to Feel Less Frantic and More Festive During the Holidays. She offers gentle, research-backed tools to help you care for yourself and your family without burning out in the process. In this episode, you’ll learn: 🎄 The surprising way to set the tone for your home for a calmer, happier holiday 🎄 The 5-word boundary phrase every mom needs in her back pocket 🎄 A two-minute mental reset for when the holidays feel like too much This conversation is your invitation to create a holiday that’s not perfect—but calm-ish, connected, and true to what matters most. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: 📣 During our Slow-vember Sale, get $5 off every Flecks of Gold journal—including the new camel vegan leather edition—at 3in30podcast.com/flecks. Because peace doesn’t come from doing more (it comes from noticing more!) Related Episodes: 406: Navigating Holiday Melancholy // Dr. Tanmeet Sethi 405: 3 Tips to Manage Your Mental Load During the Holidays // 3 in 30 Team 325: How to have Less-Stressful, More Meaningful Holidays // Desirae Endres from Minimal-ish Episode Sponsors: 💜 Motherhood Decluttered: Right now, get $30 off with code PODCAST, plus you’ll also get a free Buddy Pass to gift a friend so you can go through it together—but only through the end of the year. Find it at 3in30podcast.com/declutter. 💜 Factor: Eat smart at factormeals.com/3in3050off and use code 3in3050off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With the holidays coming up, many moms wish they could visit family or plan a getaway—but the price of flights makes it feel impossible. That’s why I’m re-airing this popular episode with Amber Paul from Amber on Points, who teaches families how to travel for free (or almost free) using credit card points. A year after recording this, I’ve now been practicing what Amber teaches—and it’s truly changed what’s possible for our family. We earned about $12,000 in free travel this year, and my credit score has continued to go up. I know it sounds too good to be true, (that’s exactly what I thought at first!), but it’s real—and it’s absolutely worth learning. In this encore episode, you’ll learn: ✈️ Why opening multiple credit cards (responsibly!) can actually improve your credit score ✈️ How to use welcome offers strategically to earn far more points from the spending you already do ✈️ Why you might qualify for a business card even if you’re just side-gigging A quick note: conversations about money and credit can bring up a lot of feelings. Wherever you are in your financial journey, this episode is meant to spark possibility—not pressure. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: Grab the free companion guide (with Amber’s favorite starter cards) and sign up for our live Q&A with Amber on Wednesday, November 5, 2025 by clicking here! Related Episodes: 369: How to Teach Your Kids about Money // Abby Chipman 430: Plan Meaningful Family Travel Without the Stress // Meggie Busath 431: 3 Road Trip Hacks for Traveling with Kids // Brittney Hanks Episode Sponsors: BetterHelp: 3 in 30 Takeaways for Moms is sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to betterhelp.com/3in30 to get 10% off your first month of online therapy. AirDoctor: Head to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code 3in30 to get up to $300 off today! It comes with a 30-day money-back guarantee and a 3-year warranty—an $84 value, free! Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all lose our temper sometimes. That’s part of being human—and part of being a mom. But what happens next matters most. Because repair, not perfection, is what builds real trust with our kids. In this week’s episode, I’m joined by Devon Kuntzman from Transforming Toddlerhood to talk about one of the most healing and hopeful skills a parent can learn: how to reconnect after those hard moments. Devon shares a simple, four-step framework for circling back after we’ve yelled or overreacted—so instead of getting stuck in guilt, we can model accountability, empathy, and growth. Even though Devon primarily teaches parents of toddlers, this conversation applies beautifully to kids of all ages (trust me—my teen and tween are proof!). In this episode, you’ll learn: 💜 The one phrase that instantly shifts your apology from surface-level to deeply connecting 💜 Why skipping this often-forgotten step in your apology can actually keep your child from trusting you fully 💜 A powerful, brain-based reason to “redo” the moment—and how this single practice can help you yell less over time You’ll walk away with words you can use, steps you can remember, and a renewed sense of grace for yourself as a beautifully human mom. For full show notes, including takeaways, click here. *** Announcements: ☀️ Want to feel lighter in your motherhood? My mini course Motherhood Decluttered will help you simplify what’s weighing you down and reconnect with what really matters. For a limited time, your purchase includes a buddy pass so you can go through the course with a friend. Related Episodes: 004: How to Stop Yelling at your Kids // Ralphie Jacobs of Simply on Purpose 423: How to Parent a Strong-Willed Child Without Losing Your Mind // Kirk Martin 440: Tools for Parenting a “Spicy” Child // Mary Van Geffen Episode Sponsors: Skylight Calendar: Right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15 inch Calendars by going to MySkylight.com/TAKEAWAYS Factor Meals: Eat smart at FactorMeals.com/3in3050off and use code 3in3050off for 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. Get delicious, ready-to-eat meals delivered—with Factor. Let's Connect! Join me on Instagram! Get weekly-ish emails with BTS of my life Find Your Magic in Motherhood: Free 3-Day Email Course *** Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices