IVF Failed You - The "So Now What?" Podcast

When you’re going through fertility treatments, you never imagine they will end without a baby. I didn’t. I believed that if I tried hard enough, followed every step, and stayed committed, eventually I would have the child I dreamed of. But when IVF failed and motherhood didn’t happen, I was completely unprepared and unsupported. That gap, the silence that follows when treatments end without children, is why I became a member of ASRM, the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, and serve in their Mental Health Providers group.  In October I am attending the ASRM annual congress with thousands of reproductive Endocrinologists, fertility doctors, IVF nurses, and fertility specialists from around the world. My mission is to make sure the voices of women who are childless after infertility are part of the conversation. For an upcoming podcast episode I will be interviewing a fertility doctor who not only treats patients but has gone through IVF herself. This is your opportunity to shape that conversation. ✨ What do you wish you had received when you left treatments without a baby? ✨ Were you offered support, and if yes what was most helpful? ✨ If you weren’t, what do you think would have made the biggest difference? ✨ And what is one question you would love me to ask a fertility doctor about life after treatment? 👉 Share your input here: Fill out the form Your name will never be used on the podcast, but if you’d like me to thank you personally you’ll have the option to share your name and email at the end. Your experience matters. What you went through is real, and if I can help bridge your story with the professionals shaping fertility care, we can change the way life after infertility is understood and supported. 🔗 Related Episodes: Ep 147: Support After IVF - What Childless Women Really Want (click here to listen)  Ep 146: Finding Closure After IVF (click here to listen)  💜 Free Resource: The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless (and How to Respond) → Click HERE!

Why does infertility feel so shameful? In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, Lana Manikowski unpacks the weight of shame after IVF fails and motherhood does not happen. She explains why shame shows up for women who are childless not by choice, why it is optional, and how you can release it. Learn four steps to stop carrying shame so you can feel grounded, confident, and whole in the life you are creating. If you are childless after infertility, you may know the weight of shame all too well. Shame convinces you that you are the problem. That your body failed. That you let your husband or partner down. That you disappointed your parents by not giving them grandchildren. That your family name ends with you. Shame after infertility is common, but here is the truth most women do not realize: shame is optional. In this episode, I share why infertility feels so shameful, how shame sneaks into your identity, and why you do not have to carry it as part of who you are. I tell my own story of IVF failing me and the moment I believed I had let everyone down. I also share the four steps that helped me rewrite that story and start living without shame. You will learn: Why shame shows up after infertility and IVF fails The difference between facts and the shame stories your brain creates How to talk back to shame so it no longer runs your life How to choose your own headline and live into your values What shifts when you stop letting infertility define your worth When you release shame, you stop shrinking in family gatherings. You stop questioning your marriage. You begin to walk through the world with confidence and live as the whole, worthy woman you already are. If you are tired of carrying shame for something you never chose, this episode is for you. Read Chapter 1 of my bestselling book, "So Now What?" HERE. 📺 Watch the replay of the World Childless Week webinar I moderated: https://youtu.be/PZz_-H9A47U?feature=shared 💌 Free Resource: The Top 27 Things People Say When You Are Childless (...and How to Respond) Click here to download!   Tags infertility shame IVF failed childless after infertility shame after infertility why infertility feels shameful childless not by choice IVF shame infertility and identity healing after failed IVF infertility grief and shame childless woman support IVF did not work life after infertility stop infertility shame infertility podcast living childless after IVF overcoming shame after infertility infertility and womanhood IVF journey without baby thrive after infertility  

How to tell your story with pride when IVF failed and you are living childless after infertility.  When IVF fails and motherhood did not happen, it is so easy to feel like your only option is to hide. You spent years doing everything you possibly could—fertility treatments, doctors’ appointments, lifestyle changes, endless waiting. You gave your body, your money, your heart, and your time to the dream of becoming a mom. And despite all of it, you find yourself living childless after infertility. In those moments, it can feel impossible to talk about what really happened. Maybe you have learned to keep quiet because the pain feels too heavy. Maybe you are tired of comments like “You could always adopt” or “At least you can sleep in.” Maybe you worry about making others uncomfortable. But here is the truth: hiding from your infertility story will never create the life you crave. In this episode, I share why there is nothing more beautiful than telling your story, even when IVF failed and motherhood didn’t happen. I will show you how owning your infertility story changes the way you see yourself and how others see you, and how telling your story can open the door to a future that feels powerful, grounded, and deeply meaningful. In this episode you will learn: Why you can feel proud of your infertility story even if IVF failed How hiding keeps you small and why telling your truth sets you free What life can feel like when the question “Do you have kids” no longer holds power over you How sharing your story helps you reconnect with your body, your friendships, and your future You may not have the children you dreamed of, but you can still live a life that feels rich, purposeful, and joyful. Your story is not one of failure. Your story is one of strength. And there is nothing more beautiful than learning how to tell it. 🌟 Links Mentioned in This Episode Register for my free masterclass (Wednesday 9/17): Things People Say When You Are Childless  - click HERE Join my World Childless Week webinar (Saturday, Sept 20): Register here Download my free guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless (and How to Respond) click HERE.

When IVF fails and you’re childless after infertility, people often try to cheer you up with “at least you can…” comments. But what these comments really reveal is how uncomfortable our society is with sadness. In this episode, I share how a recent injury reminded me of that cultural reflex, why sadness is not a flaw, and how you can create room for both grief and growth as a childless woman. Plus: details on my free class September 17 and my World Childless Week panel on September 20, Rediscovering Your Identity as a Childless Woman. Sadness and Infertility: When It Feels Uncomfortable Have you ever been told “At least you can travel” or “At least you don’t have to pay for college” after your IVF failed? If you’re childless after infertility, you know how painful and dismissive these “at least you can” comments feel. People think they’re comforting, but they rarely land that way. In this week’s episode of The So Now What? Podcast, I explore what these comments really mean, why they don’t help, and how to stop internalizing the silent message they send — that sadness, disappointment, and grief are emotions you shouldn’t feel. You’ll hear: Why people reach for “at least” comments and what it reveals about society’s discomfort with sadness How my nephew’s recent soccer injury reminded me of our instinct to erase someone else’s sadness The connection between these comments and what we hear when IVF fails Why sadness is not a flaw but proof that something mattered to you How to hold both infertility grief and the good that still exists in your life Why rediscovering your identity as a childless woman can shift your story from loss to strength This episode also celebrates the 4-year anniversary of The So Now What? Podcast. Four years of creating a community for women who were left without resources after fertility treatments ended without a baby.  Free Resources & Upcoming Events Free Class: Wednesday, Sept 17: Things People Say When You’re Childless (and How to Respond Without Spiraling or Shutting Down). Morning/afternoon in the US, evening in Europe.  Register here! World Childless Week: Saturday, Sept 20: I’m leading a panel called Rediscovering Your Identity as a Childless Woman at 8 AM CT / 2 PM BST. Join us live or catch the replay. Register here! Free Guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless (and How to Respond) Download it for free. CLICK HERE! ☕ Help me celebrate 4 years of The “So Now What?” Podcast! If this podcast has supported you, would you leave a rating or review? Reviews help more women who are grieving infertility discover this resource. As a thank-you, I’ll send you a $5 Starbucks gift card. 👉 Here’s how to claim it: Follow the step-by-step directions here to leave your rating or review. Take a screenshot once your review is posted. Email it to me here: hi@lanamanikowski.com When I receive your screenshot, I’ll send you a Starbucks gift card as my thank-you for celebrating this milestone with me. Sadness doesn’t mean you’re broken. Grief after infertility is real, but it doesn’t define your whole story. Listen to Episode 183: Sadness and Infertility: When It Feels Uncomfortable to learn how to stop internalizing “at least you can” comments and start creating space for both your grief and your growth.

When IVF fails, your brain can feel like the enemy, spiraling with infertility triggers, constant comparison, and the grief of being childless after infertility. In this episode, you will discover why your brain reacts this way when fertility treatments do not work, and three simple practices to begin calming your mind and finding peace. Have you ever felt fine one moment, and then a single pregnancy announcement, bump photo, or piece of unsolicited advice left you spiraling? If IVF failed you and you are now childless, your brain may feel like the enemy. But the truth is, your brain is just trying to protect you. In Episode 182 of The “So Now What?” Podcast, you will discover why your brain works the way it does after infertility and how to start rewiring it so you can feel calmer, steadier, and more in control of your story. You will learn: Why your “smoke alarm brain” gets so sensitive after IVF fails and infertility treatments end What it means to “name it” when you feel yourself reacting (fight, flight, freeze, or fawn) How to look for glimmers of safety that calm your nervous system faster than pep talks Why bridge thoughts are more believable and more healing than toxic positivity How shifting the way you respond to infertility triggers helps you reclaim peace and confidence in your childless life Once you stop seeing your body and brain as the enemy, everything changes: your friendships, your marriage, your time, and your ability to create a meaningful future without children.  Announcements 🌍 World Childless Week On Saturday, September 20th at 2pm BST (8am CT / 9am ET) I am honored to be leading a panel: Rediscovering Your Identity as a Childless Woman. Each panelist has walked a unique path through autoimmune conditions, male factor infertility, singlehood, and female factor infertility. Together, we will share reflections on moving from “hopeful mother” to confident women living life on our own terms. This is not a conversation about what was lost. It is about what is possible. If you are ready to feel proud of the woman you are, with no disclaimers and no shame, this is for you.   Register here 🎓 Free Live Masterclass I am hosting another session of Things People Say When You’re Childless (and How to Respond), this time scheduled to fit international listeners. It is happening on September 18th at 11:30am CT / 5:30pm BST. This is a brand new class, not a replay. If you have ever frozen, shut down, or replayed conversations after someone made a comment about your childlessness, this live call will give you practical language and mindset tools to respond with confidence.  Register here Free Resource Get my free guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless (and How to Respond)   Download your copy here You do not have to stay stuck in autopilot reactions. Your brain is not broken, it just needs a new way forward. Tune in now to learn how to begin calming your brain after IVF fails so you can feel safe, steady, and proud of the life you are creating without children.  

Episode 181: Childless Legacy – How to Create One If you are childless after infertility, what kind of legacy are you leaving? When IVF, IUI, or years of trying to conceive did not lead to the family you dreamed of, it can feel like your story has nowhere to go. Like your legacy disappeared along with the possibility of motherhood. But what if you could create a legacy that does not depend on having a child? In this episode of The “So Now What?” Podcast, Lana shares a deeply personal reflection on what legacy really means when you are childless not by choice. Inspired by her grandfather’s 118th birthday and the stories passed down about the life he lived, she challenges the belief that legacy begins when you are gone or only matters if you are remembered by children. Your legacy is how you show up in your life today. It is how you treat yourself, how you treat others, and how you decide to keep living even when life turned out differently than you hoped. In this episode, you will learn: What a childless legacy really is, and why it matters now more than ever Why waiting to be remembered is keeping you from feeling fulfilled How to reflect your values in your day-to-day life A new way to define meaning and purpose after infertility Why you do not have to wait for someone else to tell your story A challenge to start building your legacy now, not later If you have ever wondered how to create a life that feels meaningful without the children you dreamed of, this episode will speak directly to you. 📅 Free Masterclass on August 26 “Things People Say When You’re Childless (and How to Respond)” Learn how to respond with calm, confidence, and clarity to the unsolicited comments and advice that often come your way after infertility. Register here! 🌟 Resources and Mentions Free Guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless and How to Respond Download it here: lanamanikowski.com/thingspeoplesay Join the Back-to-School Photo Challenge Tired of feeling invisible while everyone posts pictures of their kids? Post a photo of you and celebrate who you are in this season. Tag @lana.manikowski on Instagram to join the challenge. Read the Book: So Now What? by Lana Manikowski – A guide for women living childless after infertility Book a Thrive Call: If you are ready to stop wondering what is next and start shaping a life that feels good again, schedule your free Thrive Call here You do not need a child to create a legacy. You just need to decide how you want to live yours.  

Infertility and Othering: When You Don’t Belong Have you ever walked into a room and instantly thought, “I’m the only one here without kids”? That sinking feeling in your body is what is known as othering. Othering happens when you are seen, or you see yourself, as separate because you do not fit a societal mold. If you are childless after infertility or your IVF journey ended without the child you dreamed of, you know how often othering can happen. You get left out of conversations, your life experiences are dismissed, or someone makes a comment that forces you to explain why you do not have children. But here is something you might not have considered. You may be keeping yourself in that “other” role without even realizing it. In this episode, you will discover how you might be self-othering and how to shift the way you show up so you feel more connected and less defined by childlessness. I share why this topic is so personal to me after my own seven-year journey through IVF failed and ended without a child. You will learn the exact mindset shift that helped me stop letting “childless” be my headline and start introducing myself in ways that made me feel confident and part of the room. You will learn how to: Recognize when you are self-othering without realizing it Stop letting childlessness become your whole identity Walk into social settings feeling prepared to lead the conversation with who you are beyond motherhood Use simple questions to connect with friends, family, and colleagues without the focus being on parenting See yourself as more than the one without kids so others can too I also share a Thrive After Infertility client story that shows how one small change in how you show up can completely change how you are seen and how you feel in social situations. If you have been feeling disconnected, overlooked, or like you will never belong in rooms where most people are parents, this episode will help you step out of the “other” box, create your own sense of belonging, and feel empowered in any setting. Links from this episode Free Class: Things People Say When You’re Childless (and How to Respond) Learn practical ways to handle comments without shutting down or feeling small. Register here! Thrive After Infertility: 12 Week Coaching Program Work with me to create a life you love even without the children you dreamed of  Learn more here Book Your Free 45 Minute Thrive Call HERE! In this call, you and I will create a plan for how you can start thriving and loving your life after infertility. Book your call Follow me on Instagram @lana.manikowski If you are ready to stop letting childlessness define your story and start living in a way that reflects all of who you are, press play on this episode now.

Your Infertility Journey: How to Stop Explaining It If you are childless after infertility, you have probably been on both sides of the spectrum: staying silent because you do not have the words or emotional energy to talk about your journey, and then overexplaining to justify that you “did enough” to try to become a mom. In this episode of The So Now What? Podcast, we talk about the exhausting pressure to explain why you did not keep going with fertility treatments, adoption, or donor eggs, and how to protect your peace when people ask intrusive questions. I share a personal passage from Chapter 1 of my bestselling book So Now What? about the moment I learned my final embryo was not viable, and how that phone call ended my fertility journey but not my life. You will learn why the way you tell your story is one of the most powerful tools you have, and how you can start telling it in a way that feels true, peaceful, and rooted in who you are now as a woman without children. This is the exact work I do with my clients inside Thrive After Infertility. I help you reclaim your story, stop overexplaining, and feel confident and proud in conversations about your life, even when it turned out differently than you dreamed. In this episode, you will learn: The two extremes: staying silent vs. overexplaining your childlessness Why overexplaining feels like putting your pain on trial How to stop offering your grief as “evidence” to be believed A real-life excerpt from my book So Now What? How to start telling your story on your terms without apology Why this shift changes how you feel about yourself in every room you walk into Links from this episode: Register for my free live class on Auguat 26, 2025 : Things People Say When You’re Childless (and How to Respond) Download your free guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless (and How to Respond) Download Chapter 1 of my book So Now What?: Get it here Book your free Thrive Call: Schedule here If you are ready to create a life you love without the children you dreamed of and finally feel rooted, confident, and proud of who you are, I can help you get there.

What if the hardest part of infertility wasn’t just the treatments… but the fact that no one even knew how hard you tried? In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, we’re talking about an overlooked reality: what it feels like to go through years of IVF and fertility treatments and never even get a positive pregnancy test. No bump. No loss others can see. Just you, quietly rearranging your life around the hope of motherhood… with nothing to show for it when it didn’t work. This is for you if you’re childless after infertility and have felt the sting of being dismissed, forgotten, or misunderstood because your story doesn’t come with "visible" grief. Here’s what we cover: Why IVF without pregnancy leaves a haunting silence around your story The reality of disenfranchised grief when you’re infertile and childless Why comparing your pain to others doesn’t bring healing, it brings shame The myth that you have to love your story in order to find peace How to stop minimizing your experience and start creating a future you feel proud of What it looks like to reclaim your voice and move forward without motherhood You don’t have to keep shrinking your grief or hiding your truth just to make others comfortable. This episode reminds you that you were in it. And that’s enough to matter. If you’ve ever wondered whether your story counts because you never got pregnant—this episode is your reminder: You don’t need proof to be seen. You don’t need a baby to validate your grief. You were there. You gave everything. And that matters. ✨ Mentioned in this episode: 📆 Free Masterclass: “Things People Say (and How to Respond)” Join me on Tuesday, August 26 at 6pm CT for a powerful free class where I’ll teach you how to navigate comments about your motherhood status—without spiraling, shutting down, or feeling like you need to justify anything. Register here.    📘 Download Chapter 1 of my book “So Now What?”  FREE The day I found out I’d never become a mom, and what happened next.   📝 Click HERE - Free Guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You're Childless (and How to Respond)   📺 Watch this episode on YouTube 👉 https://www.youtube.com/@lana.manikowski Let’s connect: 🌐 Website: https://www.lanamanikowski.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lana.manikowski/ 🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lana.manikowski 📕 Buy my book: https://www.lanamanikowski.com/book

You love your friends. You’ve grown up together, lived through milestones, and shared so many memories. But now they’re raising kids, and you’re navigating life after infertility. You’re the only one in the group chat without a child, and suddenly, the conversations feel distant. Do you go and feel left out? Or do you stay home and feel even more alone? In this episode of The "So Now What?" Podcast, Lana shares the story of reuniting with three of her closest college friends (all moms) and what it now feels like to show up to these friendships as a proud, childless woman. Years ago, she would have dodged the invitation. But now? She’s looking forward to it—and she shares exactly how that shift became possible. If you’ve ever: Avoided girls’ weekends or coffee dates because you're childless after infertility Sat through motherhood conversations feeling invisible or irrelevant Wondered if your friendships could survive your childlessness ...this episode will help you imagine what’s possible when you no longer feel like the outsider. 💭 Imagine going to a girls’ weekend and not faking a single smile. 💭 Imagine feeling proud of your story and connected to your friends, even if their lives look different from yours. 💭 Imagine leaving your reunion feeling recharged and in love with the life you’re building. This is what thriving after infertility can look like. Lana also shares how this kind of transformation is possible through the work she does in the Thrive After Infertility Mastermind—and how you can begin by joining her free masterclass. 🎓 FREE CLASS: How to Respond to the Things People Say When You’re Childless On Tuesday, August 26th at 6pm CT, Lana is teaching a free class to help you respond to unsolicited comments about your motherhood status—without spiraling, shutting down, or plotting someone’s demise in the grocery store. 🔗 Register here: https://lana-manikowski.myflodesk.com/masterclass   🔗 Links Mentioned in This Episode: ✨ Register HERE for the Free Masterclass (August 26) 📞 Book Your Free 45-Minute Thrive Call HERE: 📘 Click HERE to Buy My #1 Bestselling Book, So Now What?:   📱 Follow Me on Instagram:   📺 Watch on YouTube:   🎵 Follow Me on TikTok:

If you are a woman who is childless not by choice, you know the heartbreak of infertility does not end when treatments stop. You might still feel like shame and guilt are following you around every day. In this episode, you will hear why infertility shame and secrecy can stay with you for years after IVF or other fertility treatments. Lana shares insights from a 1998 doctoral thesis that described shame as the central emotion of infertility and explains why so little has changed in how women feel about themselves today. You will discover how guilt convinces you that infertility was your fault, how secrecy keeps you isolated, and why infertility does not define your worth or your future. If you are tired of feeling like you failed or like you are living life on the sidelines, this conversation will help you imagine how thriving after infertility is possible for you. In This Episode, You Will Learn Why shame is often the hidden part of infertility no one talks about How guilt after IVF or failed fertility treatments can feel like punishment What happens when secrecy becomes your coping mechanism A client story showing how she went from feeling invisible to creating a life she is proud of How infertility coaching can help you rebuild your identity and confidence without children Ready to Thrive After Infertility? You do not have to keep guessing how to feel like yourself again after infertility. That is exactly what the Thrive Method is for. Inside Thrive After Infertility, you will learn how to: Rebuild confidence in who you are without motherhood as your identity Reconnect with your partner and friendships you have been avoiding Create milestones that bring purpose and joy to your next decades If you are ready to stop living in guilt and shame and start creating a life you love, book your free 45-minute Thrive Call.   💖 Links and Resources 📘 Download your free guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You Are Childless (and How to Respond Authentically) Get your copy 🌟 Explore Thrive After Infertility: Learn more about the 12-week coaching program for women who are ready to thrive without the children they dreamed of. Explore the program 💬 Book Your Thrive Call: Create a plan to rebuild your identity and find clarity about what is next. Schedule your call ✨ Follow Lana for more inspiration: Instagram | TikTok | YouTube  Share This Episode If you know a woman who is childless after infertility and still carrying shame or guilt, please share this episode. She deserves to know she is not alone and there is a way to create a life she is proud of.

If you have spent years going through fertility treatments like IVF, pouring everything into your dream of motherhood, and still found yourself without a child, you know how heavy it feels to imagine a future that could ever feel as meaningful. In this week’s episode, Lana shares a deeply personal story about standing on a piece of vacant land in Michigan, a place she and her husband dreamed of building their future home, and realizing that the path to something beautiful isn't coming without obstacles. If you’re childless after infertility, it’s so easy to believe your life will always feel smaller or less significant than those who got to have a child or raise children. You probably haven’t seen many examples ofchildless women living fulfilling, connected lives without kids, so your brain fills in the blanks, telling you that it must be impossible for you. But just because you don’t see the path doesn’t mean it isn’t there. In this episode, you’ll hear: ✨ Why your brain convinces you that a meaningful life after infertility doesn’t exist—and how that belief is just a story, not a fact. ✨ What to do when you feel like you’re staring at a mound of sand that’s blocking everything you wanted. ✨ How learning to trust yourself, even without a roadmap, is the first step to feeling proud of your life again. ✨ The truth about why feeling stuck doesn’t mean you’re broken, it just means you haven’t been shown another way yet. If you’re ready to stop assuming nothing will ever compare to motherhood and start creating a life that feels purposeful and satisfying, this episode will remind you: more is possible, even if you can’t see it yet. Links and Resources Mentioned in This Episode: 🌿 Book Your Free 45-Minute Thrive Call If you want help mapping out where you are now and how to get to a life you feel proud of—even without the children you dreamed of—book your free Thrive Call with Lana here: 👉 Schedule Your Call HERE 🌿 Download Your Free Guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless (and How to Respond) This resource will help you feel confident navigating the questions and comments that can make you feel misunderstood or judged: 👉 Download the Free Guide 🌿 Follow Lana on Social Media for Daily Encouragement and Tools: ✨ Instagram ✨ TikTok ✨ YouTube Whether you’re feeling stuck, disconnected, or unsure how to begin, remember: your dreams didn’t end when motherhood didn’t happen. They are still waiting for you to claim them.  

 Your Meaning as a Childless Woman After Infertility If you ever find yourself waking up on a Saturday, staring at a day that is completely yours and feeling more suffocated than free, this episode is for you. Maybe you spent years picturing weekends packed with soccer games, birthday parties, college visits, and noisy family trips.  You imagined how all the hard parts of infertility and IVF would feel worth it once you finally had your baby in your arms. But here you are, childless after infertility, and the quiet moments you thought would feel peaceful just feel heavy. And if you have ever caught yourself actually enjoying your life now, maybe a spontaneous trip, an afternoon reading, or a coffee date with your partner, only to feel instant guilt because you think it “looks bad” to be happy without kids, you are not alone. You might think: I shouldn’t enjoy this because it means I am okay with what happened. I am betraying the woman I was, the one who fought so hard to be a mom. Other people will think I didn’t care enough if I can move on. This episode will remind you: ✨ You are allowed to love parts of your life right now. ✨ You are allowed to find meaning, peace, and purpose, even if motherhood didn’t happen. ✨ You don’t have to spend the next 40 years waiting for something that will never come. Inside this conversation, you will learn: ✔️ Why weekends and free time feel so triggering when you are unexpectedly childless ✔️ How to stop feeling guilty for enjoying what you have now ✔️ Why this struggle doesn’t mean you are broken or that you didn’t want motherhood enough ✔️ How to start creating a life you genuinely love without comparing it to the life you dreamed of This is exactly why I created Thrive After Infertility. Thrive is my 12-week coaching program for women who are tired of feeling stuck, invisible, or like life is just happening to them instead of for them. Inside Thrive, you will learn how to: 🌿 Own your time and create experiences that feel expansive and meaningful 🌿 Let go of the guilt that comes when you enjoy your life without children 🌿 Feel connected, confident, and purposeful again on your terms If you are ready to stop surviving and start living, this is your invitation. You don’t have to figure this out alone. 💛 Ready to take the next step? Book your free 45-minute Thrive Call. We will create a plan for what is next so you can start designing a life you love, even though it turned out so differently than you expected. ✨ Book Your Free Thrive Call 🎧 Mentioned in this episode: Download The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless (And How to Respond) Subscribe to my Substack for weekly reflections and support  Learn more about Thrive After Infertility Order my #1 bestselling book, “So Now What?” 💌 Stay connected with me: Instagram TikTok YouTube You are allowed to love this life, even if it broke your heart.  You are allowed to build something beautiful, even if it wasn’t the story you planned.  And you are allowed to start today.  

If you’re childless after infertility or IVF and wondering how to move forward in a life that looks nothing like what you imagined, this episode of The “So Now What?” Podcast is for you. You did everything you could to become a mother. You prayed, tried, hoped, and gave it your all. And now you're living in the aftermath of a dream that didn’t come true, with no guide for how to feel whole again. Maybe the world has led you to believe that without children, your life is supposed to be quiet, sad, or incomplete. Perhaps you’ve been carrying that weight so long, it feels like part of your identity. But what if it isn’t? In this episode, I’m offering you one of the most radical truths I’ve ever learned on the other side of IVF and infertility: 👉 You get to choose how you feel. I share how I went from living reactively and constantly triggered by baby showers, pregnancy announcements, and other people’s comments, to learning how to stop bracing for emotional pain and start creating emotional freedom. Inside, you’ll hear: Why you’re not wrong or broken for grieving the version of you that never became a mom How the grief of infertility includes not just a baby, but an identity, milestones, and meaning you expected to have How you’ve inherited outdated beliefs about women without children,  and how to stop wearing them like a stained old t-shirt What post-traumatic growth looks like when you’re ready to create purpose, peace, and joy without the children you dreamed of The power of choosing your thoughts, your emotions, and your next chapter You don’t have to stay stuck in sadness or silence just because motherhood didn’t happen for you. And you don’t have to accept a narrative that was never written with your truth in mind. There’s a different path available...and I’ll help you find it. ✨ Resources to support your next steps: 📘 Get your copy of my #1 bestselling book, So Now What? Rediscover purpose and meaning after infertility. 👉 Buy it now 🧭 Book your free 45-minute Thrive Call Let’s create a personalized plan for what fulfillment can look like for you now, even though life turned out differently. 👉 Schedule your Thrive Call 💬 Download your free guide: The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless (and How to Respond) Get real scripts to help you navigate intrusive questions and comments — without having to explain yourself. 👉 Download it here 📲 Let’s stay connected: Instagram: @lana.manikowski TikTok: @lana.manikowski YouTube: Watch here Website: lanamanikowski.com You’re not less than. You’re not invisible. You’re just living a life no one taught you how to navigate. But you don’t have to do it alone. 💛 If this episode speaks to you, share it with a friend or leave a review so more women who are childless not by choice can find the hope, healing, and community they deserve.    

If you’ve ever wondered if this is just how life feels when you don’t become a mom, this episode is for you. Maybe your fertility journey ended with heartbreak instead of a baby. Maybe you’ve been told (by the world, by your inner voice) that life will always feel incomplete, lonely, or second-best now. Maybe you scroll past pregnancy announcements and family vacation photos, not because you’re bitter, but because they hurt. And maybe you’ve started to believe the quiet story that society tells women like us: That life without children will always feel like you’re just holding on. But what if that story isn’t true? In episode 172 of The “So Now What?” Podcast, Lana shares: The truth about the emotional aftermath of IVF and infertility that no one talks about. Her own story of navigating the grief of a chromosomally abnormal embryo (Trisomy 16) and what came after fertility treatments ended. Why the world’s attempts to “fix” you with adoption, donor eggs, or surrogacy often leave you feeling more invisible. How guilt, shame, and comparison can keep you frozen in time, and what it takes to finally move forward. You'll hear how women inside her 12-week coaching program, go from surviving each day to actually loving their lives again. One client shares how she stopped obsessing over what people with kids were doing and started finding confidence, peace, and simple joys in her everyday life. This episode invites you to imagine a summer, and a life, where: You wake up excited for your day, not dreading another reminder of what’s missing You reconnect with your body and stop treating it like it failed you You feel connected to your partner again, building a future that feels like yours You finally stop pretending to be okay, and actually are If you’re ready to stop surviving and start living a life that feels meaningful and fulfilling—even without the children you always dreamed of—this episode will show you what’s possible. 💬 Ready to Take the Next Step? Don’t let another summer pass you by in a fog of comparison and sadness. ✨ Book your free 45-minute Thrive Call with Lana to create a plan for what comes next: 👉 Click here to schedule your call This is your first step toward creating a life that fits again...one that you love, even though it turned out differently than you expected. 📲 Stay Connected with Lana 💻 Website & Coaching Info: lanamanikowski.com 📕 Buy the book "So Now What?" HERE! 📥 Free Download: The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless (...and How to Respond) → Download Here 📸 Instagram: @lana.manikowski 🎥 YouTube: Lana Manikowski 🎵 TikTok: @lana.manikowski

If you're a woman who went through fertility treatments like IVF or IUI and now find yourself childless after infertility, this episode will speak directly to your heart. This week, we talk about a quiet kind of grief. The grief carried by the man who never got to become a dad. Whether it's your husband, partner, brother, or someone else close to you, Father’s Day can feel invisible for the men who once dreamed of fatherhood but never got to live it. And if you’ve been focused on your own pain after infertility, you might not have realized how much he’s grieving too. In this episode, you’ll hear: How infertility affects your partner even if he never talks about it Why the guilt you’ve been carrying is not yours to hold anymore Ways to show up for your partner on Father’s Day without it being complicated or performative A reminder that your relationship is still meaningful, even without children 💬 “I thought I was the only one grieving, but I wasn’t. He was just quieter about it.”   📖 Want more support around Father’s Day? Chapter 25 of my bestselling book, So Now What?, is dedicated to helping you understand and support your partner when he didn’t get to become a biological dad. If you’re wondering how to bring up this conversation, how to honor him, and how to let go of the guilt you’ve been carrying, this chapter is for you. 📚 You can read Chapter 1 and the foreword by Jody Day for free: lanamanikowski.com/book 🎁 Free Resource Download: The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless (...and How to Respond) Your script for those awkward or painful conversations. lanamanikowski.com/thingspeoplesay 💬 Want help creating a life you love, even if you never became a mom? Book your free 45-minute Thrive Call with me. We’ll create a personal plan to help you move forward with confidence, connection, and purpose. Book your Thrive Call     📲 This week on Instagram, I’m sharing a series called “A Letter to My Childless Husband.” Follow along at @lana.manikowski     If you’re childless not by choice, grieving after infertility, and want to feel more connected to your life and your partner, this episode will help you start. Your story isn’t over. It’s just beginning. #InfertilitySupport #ChildlessAfterInfertility #IVFDidntWork #FatherlessFathersDay #LifeAfterInfertility #SoNowWhat #LanaManikowski #IUIJourney #LifeWithoutChildren #FertilityTreatments  

Infertility & Goal Fatigue – What to Do When IVF Fails If you’re childless after infertility and emotionally drained from years of chasing the dream of motherhood through IVF, I want you to know: you’re not alone. And what you’re feeling right now? It makes perfect sense. You spent years setting goals—diagnosis, treatment plans, egg retrievals, embryo transfers, second opinions, supplements, side effects, losses… all in pursuit of the child you dreamed of. But when IVF doesn’t work—and you find yourself childless after all of it—you’re left with a silent question that echoes through your mind: Now what? In this episode of The “So Now What?” Podcast, I’m sharing a deeply personal moment that stopped me in my tracks—one that reminded me how so many of us are living in a state of goal fatigue without even realizing it. It all started with one innocent, thoughtful question from my 13-year-old nephew: “Uncle Jack, what’s your goal for this year?” And that moment led me to a massive realization—what if we’ve been asking the wrong question all along? In this episode, I’ll guide you through: ✅ Why infertility turns us into high-functioning goal-chasers ✅ What “goal fatigue” looks and feels like after IVF fails ✅ Why you might feel disconnected even after big wins at work or in life ✅ How I became a workaholic after IVF ended—and still felt empty ✅ The life-changing power of asking, “How do I want to feel?” ✅ What to do if you don’t even know how you want to feel anymore This conversation is a gentle but powerful invitation to start living from the inside out—not chasing more goals to prove your worth, but learning to feel fulfilled by who you are right now, even without the children you hoped for. 💬 Want to go deeper? ✨ Book your free 45-minute Thrive Call HERE. If you’ve been feeling stuck, lost, or unsure of how to move forward, I’ll help you reconnect with what matters to you. No pressure. No performance. Just a clear, hope-filled starting point for your next chapter. 📘 Ready to read the book that’s helping women just like you? Check out my new bestselling book, So Now What?—created especially for women who are childless after infertility and looking for purpose, healing, and joy beyond motherhood. Grab your copy or download a free preview here: 👉 www.lanamanikowski.com/book 🔗 Stay connected: 🎥 Watch this episode on YouTube 📸 Connect with me on Instagram 📱 Follow along on TikTok 🎁 Don’t miss this: The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless (...and How to Respond) Get your free copy here. You don’t have to chase the next big thing to feel proud of your life. You don’t have to “move on” or pretend it doesn’t hurt. You don’t have to keep pushing to prove that you matter. You’re allowed to feel peace, love, purpose, and joy—even without a child. So if IVF didn’t work and you’re wondering what now… this episode is your starting point. Tune in. And let’s begin—together.

If you are childless after infertility and wondering how to move forward without the future you dreamed of, this powerful conversation with Jody Day will meet you right where you are. In this episode, we explore what it truly means to grieve childlessness and how embracing that grief can lead to deep healing, creativity, and purpose. Jody shares her personal story, her insights from years of working in the childless-not-by-choice space, and how grief can evolve from something you endure into something you grow through. Inside this episode: Why grief is not an event but a skill What it means to experience disenfranchised grief as a childless woman How to feel seen in a society that avoids your pain What it takes to build your own support network as you age Why asking for help is a form of strength and connection Unforgettable quotes from Jody Day: “Grief is not an event. It’s a skill.” “You’re not needy. You have needs. You’re human.” “We grieve that which we have loved.” “Grief is the emotion that allows us to let go of what was in order to embrace what’s next.” “I look back at the woman who tried so hard and say: You didn’t know more was available to you.” Whether you are early in your grief or further down the path, this episode will remind you that you are not alone, and that you still have the power to build a life you love. You are not too late. You are not alone. You may be childless, but your story still matters. This episode will remind you that healing is possible, connection is available, and the life ahead of you still holds meaning. Helpful links and resources: 🎧 Download: The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless (...and How to Respond) 📞 Book a Free 45-Minute Thrive Call with Lana and create a personalized plan for living a fulfilling life without children 📘 Explore Jody Day’s work: Gateway Women 💌 Subscribe to her Substack: Gateway Elderwomen 📱 Follow Lana on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok   About Jody Day: Jody is the English-Irish founder of Gateway Women, the world’s best-known support and advocacy network for childless women. Often described as the founder of the global childless movement, she is an integrative psychotherapist, two-time TEDx speaker, author, and thought leader. Her best-selling book Living the Life Unexpected: How to Find Hope, Meaning and a Fulfilling Future Without Children has become essential reading for women navigating life without motherhood. Jody has been a World Childless Week Ambassador since 2017, was chosen as one of the BBC’s 100 Women in 2013, and named a UK Digital Woman of the Year in 2021. She is a former Fellow in Social Innovation at Cambridge Judge Business School and was a founding board member of the UK charity Ageing Without Children. Today, she writes the popular Substack Gateway Elderwomen, which explores aging and elderhood without motherhood, and is developing her ALTERKIN Project to create local mutual-aid communities for those aging without children.

If Mother’s Day felt hard for you, you’re not alone and this week’s episode of The “So Now What?” Podcast is especially for you. You’ve probably spent years feeling like a party of one, moving through infertility and now life without children, not sure where to go to find connection or how to create it. Maybe you’ve told yourself you should be strong enough to figure this out alone. Maybe you’ve been hiding, thinking you’re the only one whose treatments didn’t end in motherhood. In this powerful episode, you’ll hear why connection is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. You’ll be reminded that you are not weak for wanting support. You are human, and you were never meant to do this alone. Lana opens up about her own journey, from getting an unexplained infertility diagnosis in 2011 and hiding her pain, to walking into silence despite being someone who always had “talks too much” on her report card. You’ll hear how that silence was one of the hardest parts, and why finding your voice again starts with connection. Lana shares what inspired her to start this podcast in 2021, why she left her 20-year corporate career to coach full time, and how her Thrive After Infertility program and The Other’s Day Brunch were created to make sure women like you never have to navigate childlessness alone. You’ll hear about: - What it feels like when connection feels out of reach after infertility - Why fertility clinics gave us science but not the soul-level support we needed - What healing starts to look like when you stop hiding - The incredible stories of women at The Other’s Day Brunch who showed up not knowing a soul and left with new friendships - Simple ways you can say yes to connection today . even if it starts with a coffee invite or replying to a DM This episode is a reminder that even if your life looks different than you planned, it can still be beautiful, because you are part of it. ✨ Resource Mentioned: Download *The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless (and How to Respond) . Click here! 🎧 If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to rate and review the podcast. Your words help other women find this space. 📲 Connect with Lana on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube: @lana.manikowski  💌 Questions or feedback? Email  🌐 Learn more: www.lanamanikowski.com

If you're feeling overlooked, invisible, or emotionally raw as Mother's Day approaches, this episode was made for you. In this heartfelt and healing conversation, Lana speaks directly to you — the woman who did everything she could to become a mom, but still doesn’t have the child she dreamed of. Whether this is your first Mother's Day since stopping fertility treatments or your fifteenth, this episode holds space for your grief, your story, and your desire to be seen in a world that rarely acknowledges women who are childless not by choice. Lana shares why Mother's Day can be more than just a tough day — it can be a cultural reminder of the life you hoped for and the identity you never got to claim. She talks about the emotional toll of constant reminders — inbox ads, grocery store signs, brunch invites — and why it's not about jealousy or resentment, but a profound sadness that so few people recognize. You’ll also hear: Why your grief is real and valid — even if others don’t understand it What disenfranchised grief is and why it’s so common for childless women How the Other’s Day Brunch was born out of this very longing to be seen Why healing doesn’t mean forgetting, and how grief and joy can coexist What to do this weekend if you're looking for a way to honor your story and take care of yourself Whether you're quietly grieving at home or attending the 4th Annual Other’s Day Brunch in Chicago, this episode is your reminder that you are not alone. 🎧 Listen in if you’ve ever thought: “Why is this still so hard—even after all this time?” “Why does no one acknowledge the pain of being childless on Mother's Day?” “I don’t want pity. I just want to feel like I matter.” 💬 What to do next: 💗 Join us in Chicago for the 4th Annual Other’s Day Brunch on May 10 — a space where you’ll be seen, honored, and celebrated: 👉 www.lanamanikowski.com/othersday 📞 Ready to stop feeling stuck and create a new vision for your future? Book your free 45-minute Thrive Call with Lana and get personalized support for building a life that feels full, even without the children you dreamed of: 👉 https://calendly.com/lanamanikowski/strategy-session 📥 Download Lana’s free guide: ✔️ The Top 27 Things People Say When You’re Childless... and How to Respond with Confidence and Self-Respect: 👉 https://lana-manikowski.myflodesk.com/thingspeoplesay 📲 Follow Lana on social media for community and inspiration: Instagram: @lana.manikowski TikTok: @lana.manikowski YouTube: Watch & Subscribe   ✨ You are not an afterthought. You are a whole woman with a full heart — even if it's still healing. This Mother’s Day, take up space. You belong here.