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Hard Choices
Hard Choices
Author: MeganBob
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From the creators of Smash Fiction, it's horniness meets science! We examine a fictional universe and rank the f*ckability of the characters to determine the true median on our collective boner scale. Who exactly is the middle of the pack in Lord of the Rings? Who is the middle ground of sexiness in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? Just where does the horniness middle fall in Game of Thrones? We bring together a diverse array of sexualities, rank the characters, crunch the numbers, and find out truly wild and surprising things about everyone's internal boner-meter along the way.
67 Episodes
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Fabulous secrets were revealed to me the day I downloaded Hard Choices and pressed play! It uncovered the zenith, median, and nadir of fuckability in the He-Man and the Masters of the Universe franchise, but wait, it also comes with cool accessories like our hosts! Join Kris Newton, Dan Mulkerin, Annie Craton, and MeganBob as they rank their way through 21 of the most toyetic folks we have ever tried to imagine getting naked with. Dan wrestles with the truth that sometimes appealing people fuck real good, Annie waxes poetic about a treasure trail of spikes, Kris is jealous of Skeletor, and MeganBob has a special request for King Hiss. It's an episode guaranteed to make you think a little differently about your childhood action figures and also guaranteed to probably earn us Skeletor's eternal enmity, but that was already a given! Sure, maybe the movie was a bust, but this podcast can satisfy you in ways that Mattel never could. Just hit play and find out. Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social Producer: Nue @nuegameplus.bsky.social Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO
Take a ride with Hard Choices to a galaxy far, far away as we revisit the Star Wars films from the 70's through the most recent installments in the Skywalker Saga. Join Annie Craton, Dan Mulkerin, James D'Amato, and MeganBob as they discover just how Force sensitive they are when it comes to fucking their way through the likes of Yoda, Luke, Leia, Darth Vader, and more! Is Sheev Palpatine going to fuck you himself or does he have a guy for that? Is Jar Jar Binks a secret dark horse? Is Obi-Wan Kenobi the saddest peepums there is? All these questions and more will be addressed in an episode that will definitely leave you feeling differently about the media franchise that has shaped pop culture maybe more than any other. So, pour yourself a tall glass of blue milk, hit download, and enjoy something that Disney and George Lucas would definitely be upset about if they ever found out! Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social Producer: Nue @nuegameplus.bsky.social Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO
What's it look like when a Yordle has sex? Not everyone is brave enough to ask those sorts of questions, but we here at Hard Choices fear nothing, not even getting a little addicted to humming "Enemy" over and over. Look, the opening credits to this show are compelling and we will make not apologies for our feelings on the matter. Nor will we apologize for all of our takes on the fuckability of these characters who are all wildly different flavors of sad! Join hosts Dan Mulkerin, Claire Vannette, MeganBob, and making her Hard Choices debut, Anna Emmaline, as they riot through Zaun and Piltover, ranking characters with such scrupulous scientific accuracy that they make Viktor and Jayce look like amateurs. Who could possibly be the zenith, median, and nadir of fuckability in a world that has everything from sexy (and unsexy) drug lords to cosmically powerful scientists to pit fighters to political powerhouses to brutal warriors? We'll do math until we know for certain! Will Dan no-scope Bob's number one? Will Claire read us a fanfic about her Arcane fave? Will anyone correctly guess how big Ambessa Medarda's strap-on is? This episode is full of surprises, so grab your favorite drink at The Last Drop, put in your airpods, and prepare for two hours of filthy, filthy joy! Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO
Hard Choices will do a lot to get laid, even go straight to Hell (let's be honest, we've been to Hell with a few of these episodes already). That's right, we've been dragged into the cartoon musical wonderland of Hazbin Hotel and we're determined to sign our souls away in our quest to find the zenith, median, and nadir of fuckability. Join MeganBob, Dan, Kit, and superfan Eros as they wade through one of the thirstiest settings we've ever covered. We deal with deadbeat dads, dangerous deals, and delicious demons we'd love to have corner us in a dark alley. Don't think Heaven is getting out of this without rolling around in the sheets with us, either. Our thorough exploration asks us to consider if some Poison is worth drinking, if we're Out for Love, and what we want More Than Anything. So hit download, pour a drink (leave the bottle) and prepare to taste the best and worst that Heaven and Hell have to offer up. You'll laugh, you'll cringe, and you'll get hot under the collar, that's the Hard Choices Guarantee! Hard Choices on Patreon Instagram: hardchoicespod Twitter: @hardchoicespod Bluesky: @hardchoicespodcast.bsky.social Music from Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/soundroll/funk-me License code: PY3X4XBA59ZDUAVZ https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/funky-junk License code: KIXMIV9S2VDVUHLW https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-gentleman License code: UWXG3BXPCASTYIHY https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/lets-get-it License code: MGTNINNDEXYJBAZQ https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/high-life License code: GE9B1XIV9R1VKMML https://uppbeat.io/t/doug-organ/boogie-time License code: QOVELAYOE1SDZQ4Y https://uppbeat.io/t/hey-pluto/the-brighton-bop License code: VWDJ4C60GOAIPACW https://uppbeat.io/t/jonny-boyle/jazzed License code: AVN7XPXUBHDBHFAM https://uppbeat.io/t/all-good-folks/wake-me-up License code: SPHCZLRSPZNRUK7R https://uppbeat.io/t/walz/redcar-jazz License code: A0MVEEBKYDDJ0EQY https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/rock-it License code: QFNICKIQJYO3DCZO
Hey folks! I've got some announcements so you know what's up for the next few months and this summer. Hard Choices is going on hiatus until May 2026 Go to the Hard Choices Patreon and sign up for LOTS of bonus content that will continue to come out over the hiatus! I'm going to be at GenCon 2026! (July 30th-August 2nd) If you want to get in on some livestreams and some new sets coming out in the next few months, go to OnlyFans!



