In Pursuit of the Better You

Talking about 'we can do hard things'. This year, both Becki and Fay have done some 'hard things' and it's good to recognise what we can actually do because we don't always give ourselves the credit.  What are you doing that's a 'hard thing'? How are you coping, managing, getting on with it? Do you believe you can do these hard things? It's important to remember that we don't know what's going on for other people - and what hard things they're dealing with at any time - and so remembering to show people some grace if it's needed.  Contact Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com  Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk    

Are you having a break for the summer? Or are you powering through? In this episode, Fay and Becki are talking about their summer plans which seem to be a mix of work and a much looked forward to break.  We talk about the science behind why it's good to have a break and how this can re-energise us - and this led to a bit of a chat about sleep and how we both have and do use sleep for that energising factor.  Contact Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com  Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

Is stress real or do people create their stress? Perhaps a better questions is to ask what stress means to those involved if we're talking about their stress because people will have different tolerances to stressful situations.  Becki talks about two different types of stress: Eustress is challenging but manageable and leads to growth Distress is difficult and has a negative outcome.  Contact Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com  Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk    

What even is an accidental manager?  It's the transition we make from being a team member to a team manager.  Perhaps you're now running the team you used to be a part of. How can you make the best of this situation? You've probably got the job because your leadership potential has been identified. But how do you navigate this change? This is what we're talking about this week - tune in to find out how we managed this in our careers.  Contact Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com  Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

Are you askinng me if I'm not prepared to be successful? No!!! On the contrary. Failure is a big part of success. Going through the motions - doing new things - stepping out of our comfort zone means that things may not always go to plan. There are risks to be taken that might not pay off... at least the first time.  The key is being prepared to fail - but learning from the failure. All of our best lessons come from those failures.     

In the training or presentation space - what are you delivering? Is it 'Death by Powerpoint'? Some hints and tips for deliverers - or feedback you can give if you're a participant.  1) Where are you designing your presentation and what images/design points can you use? 2) Have a 'hook' 3) Keep your slides clean - minimal content 4) Make your audience feel like they matter 5) Is a slide even needed? 6) Be a subject expert Contact Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com  Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk        

The rider, the elephant and the path! A concept to help you think about change.  If we want to make some change, our brain has to get involved. Our emotional side of the brain is more powerful than the rational side of the brain. The rider is the rational side of the brain - riding the elephant, the emotional side of the brain. The path is the clear direction for the elephant to follow, with the rider on its back.  Here's the link to watch the short video on YouTube https://youtu.be/X9KP8uiGZTs?si=kS6ryKOjfMAKPTN7 Contact Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com  Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk    

People can forget what you do and what you say - but they'll never forget how you make them feel. Feelings stick with us - our emotions are strong. How do the people you're surrounded by make you feel? We're responsible for how we feel - other people don't create those responses in our emotions - that's our response. And then we realise we have agency on changing our minds - we have control over how we feel.  People can try to make you feel a certain way - but how you feel ultimately, is on you. This can be empowering but also quite a confronting concept.  Contact Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com  Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

What are your top skills?  And are you putting yourself in situations where you can use them? Are you considering them when your in situations that push you out of your comfort zone - i.e. how they might be able to help you? Contact Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com  Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

If you could wave a magic wand - what would your life be like? What a question! What are your big dreams and where are you now in terms of making those dreams come true? We have this one life and it's our own responsibility to make sure we make the most of it, because one thing is for sure, Prince Charming isn't riding in to save us! How often are you checking in on your dreams and making sure you're on the right track? Contact Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com  Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk  

Are you feeling the stresses and strains of working a lot - burnout perhaps? Workaholism is what it's been called in other media.  Workaholism is making headlines at the moment in the same way as alcoholism and/or drug abuse would impact lives.  Referencing The Guardian article that we talk about in the podcast https://www.theguardian.com/society/2024/mar/15/how-workaholism-can-leave-lifelong-scars-burnout?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email Contact Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com  Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

How are you positioning yourself in the workplace to be seen - perhaps for promotion purposes - or to be 'seen' in your role? Do you feel that, to do this, you need to mask the 'real you' and exploit other behaviours that don't come naturally? For example, if you're an introvert, do you feel you need to show up with more extrovert behaviours? In this episode, we're discussing how you can be visible, but still be authentically you - or not feeling like you're showing off.  Contact Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com  Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk          

We can only meet you as far as we have met ourselves! Meaning:  When we're working with clients in coaching, we can go deep, if we've explored these deep areas with ourselves beforehand - so that we understand what it means to know ourselves in a deep and profound way.  The iceberg is the metaphor - we have those behaviours and traits that sit above the water line and this is what people see - what we know and see about ourselves too. Below the water line is unconscious behaviours and traits that we may not see - and others may only see glimpses of. But if we know what's there, we can make transformational changes.  This podcast explores what's below the waterline and what that might mean for you when, in coaching, we just start to chip away at the iceberg a little bit.  Contact Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com  Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

Do you feel confident to give feedback to others? This can help to reduce difficult conversations - however, many people don't feel comfortable having these conversations or even know how to give feedback well.  Giving positive feedback is often more easy - but what about the not-so-positive? Ideally, feedback should be given when it's required - don't wait for annual reviews! Consider what would happen if you don't give the feedback because you're not confident to have the conversation! Contact Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com  Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

Are you dreaming big? When we dream big, we might wonder - is it all a delusion of grandeur? I wonder what would happen if all entrepreneurs thought this way. But they don't. When met with failure, Richard Branson would say 'dream bigger - and go again!' When we're dreaming bigger, how are we thinking about our self worth? How do we plan and strategise to meet our dreams and aspirations? What can help us? Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com  Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

This episode explores a common theme in leadership coaching for Becki and Fay - "I'm not a manager, so what I say doesn't matter!" Is this something that's true for you? Do you feel that your voice doesn't matter in a room? That your views aren't valid? As we explore this, we wonder if it's a cultural issue - or, what's in a title? This impacts people in terms of their frustrations, development, innovation, building relationships, and fostering leadership... Contact Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com  Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk  

Today it's Fay's turn to have a rant! Do you follow Gurus on social media and take them at their every word? People set themselves up as 'experts' and we follow them - but then I see people losing the ability to think for themselves around the 'experts' subject. Asking questions like 'is this allowed?' Critical thinking and making decisions is our responsibility. If you really want to look for something, there will be evidence for something, everywhere - for and against. This is great because it means we don't have to take things at face value - we can read more into the subject, query what we're learning, check the facts, and make our own decisions.  Contact Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com  Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

Do you find yourself saying that people never listen to you? Or they never take you seriously? Or you have some other thought about someone that you take with you - maybe they often wind you up, etc.  Here's something to consider: if we only base the things we think about people from their past behaviours - they're never going to grow in the present. We can all change - and if people never allow you to show who you are now - then they will only ever know a previous version of you.  Human nature means we have perceptions of people, hold grudges, have bad experiences, etc. Still, we have to remember that we can all change because we continue to develop based on our experiences and learning that we want to take on board.  It's important to understand the impact we have on others as well as the impact they have on us.  Contact Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com  Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk  

Can you do everything? This year, so far, (2024), Fay has been making a jigsaw of her diary to get 'on top' of everything.  Subconsciously, she has seen messages from 'everywhere' saying 'you can't do everything'! What happens as a result of taking everything on board - where does this leave us as people? Before we know it, all our spare hours can be taken up with things we need to do - so we end up with no space to just 'be'. We can get into a habit of feeling that we must always be 'doing, doing, doing'.  But, here's the thing - just 'being' is enough! Just with yourself without distractions of tv, music, a book, a podcast, etc.  Contact Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com  Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk

Becki wonders 'Is nothing good and pure anymore in and of itself?' Things like: fiddling the algorithm on social media to your advantage; manipulating stories; getting one over on others for your own means, etc. Technology enables competition and allows us to get ahead. Subsequently, this takes away the purity we may once have taken for granted.  As consumers of technology and information, we must do our due diligence to ensure we're not being hoodwinked and manipulated. It certainly makes it very difficult to know what we can believe these days! Contact Fay - https://www.fayblakey.com  Rebekah - https://www.quest4est.co.uk Thank you to Jon at Wahhoo Media for our production: https://www.wahhoo.co.uk