Madame Magenta: Sonos Mystica

Magenta & Bernard's weekly dose of absinthe-soaked, slow burn esoteric ramblings. Haunted phones! Typography jokes! Dropping a social hand grenade at your office Christmas party! All this and more. On Wednesday 26th November at 8pm UK time (3pm ET) - tune into the MOCKERY MANOR S1E1 Live Listening Party! Watch on YouTube here And you can still donate to this week's charity, International Rescue Committee, by visiting the GoFundMe page here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

M&B battle some gremlins this week on a quest to find out what the hell Jimmy Buffett is talking about. The next live stream will be on Sunday November 23rd at 8pm UK time (3pm ET), and you can watch it on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram and Twitch. ⁠Watch it live on YouTube here⁠ And you can still donate to this week's charity, Medecins Sans Frontiers, by visiting ⁠this week's GoFundMe page Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bernard has been trying his hand at Astral Planing, but listeners - we must advise against it. Astral Planing should only be done by a trained professional (ie Magenta). The next live stream will be on Sunday November 16th at 8pm UK time (3pm ET), and you can watch it on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram and Twitch. Watch it live on YouTube here And you can still donate to this week's charity, British Red Cross, by visiting this week's GoFundMe page Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello, Laurence & Lindsay here. We've got a big problem, and we need your help. If you're listening to this on Spotify, we're asking you to stop, and switch to another podcast player. As I'm sure most of you know, there's plenty of evidence that Spotify is a terrible company with a long history of exploiting and underpaying artists, but that's only part of why it's so bad. It's been reported that Spotify's CEO, Daniel Ek, has recently invested millions of Euros of your subscription fees in an AI weaponry company called Helsing. This company has developed an automated target identification system, with the option to keep a human in the loop. In other words, it's machines selecting which humans to kill on the battlefield. It's also been reported Spotify donated $150,000 to the Trump campaign, and it's recently been running ICE recruitment ads. It is a powerful force for bad. So here's our problem. Almost half of our total listenership comes from Spotify, and the adverts that we run are how we make our money. If we just pulled our podcasts straight away, that would be a huge financial blow for us. So we would like to urge you to listen elsewhere, on another podcast player. Lots of people recommend one called Pocket Casts, we've also heard good things about Podcast Addict. In the last month, we've had downloads from about 50 different podcast players, so there are plenty of alternatives. We've going to take our podcasts off Spotify as soon as it becomes clear that there is a real movement to cancel Spotify subscriptions and move to other platforms, and that movement is growing. For you, thankfully, this doesn't cost anything. Podcasts are, and will always be, free to listen to on any platform. Like we said, a lot of people seem to like Pocket Casts, and as far as we know, they're not evil. There are also a ton of others to choose from - all very accessible, and all free. If you've ever enjoyed our podcasts, or you're about to discover them, thank you so much for listening. Let's try and do the right thing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's the Halloweeeeeeeen live stream! Recorded on October 31st 2025, and goodness me, what a lot of chaos there was on this one. The cocktail completely malfunctioned, and for some reason the chat decided that "FART IT!" should be the show's new catchprase. Who are we to deny them that? The next live stream will be on Sunday November 9th at 8pm UK time (3pm ET), and you can watch it on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram and Twitch. Watch it live on YouTube here And you can still donate to this week's charity, Amnesty International, by visiting this week's GoFundMe page. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What a week this was! We had cocktail based on a World War 2 ration pack, an abrupt expulsion of air, and a Pet Shop Boys number that you won’t get to hear because of copyright laws. So you better tune into the next one! You can still donate to this week's charity, Care International, by hitting this link. Tap here to watch the next live stream on 26th October! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Possibly the bluest (meaning: dirty, rude, saucy) live stream M&B have perpetrated so far! What fun. Join us for our next live stream! It's on October 19th, 8pm UK time (3pm ET) Here's the link to watch live on YouTube. And if you'd like to donate to this week's charity, UNICEF, you can visit the GoFundMe page here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A thin but savoury tasty treat awaits you in this week's Cocktail Time, along with deep dives on Mecca Bingo, why a sexy-scary dog might be the perfect Halloween costume for introverts, and an exciting update from last week's lottery winner! The next live stream will be on Sunday 12th Octover 2025 at 8pm UK time (3pm ET), and you can watch it here: And if you would like to donate to this episode's charity, Action Against Hunger, you can do so here: Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode sees the triumphant return of Cocktail Time, by popular listener demand! And a flurry of letters on such diverse topics as haunted wedding dresses, forcing your friends to admit they have ADHD, and rigging the lottery. You can still donate to Medical Aid For Palestinians here! And you can watch our next Live Stream on October 5th here! As always, you can email madamemagentauk@gmail.com with your questions or requests, and we shall endeavour to ask the spirits for you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can you spot people having affairs in bars? Is Professor Brian Cox gaslighting us? Is Ken Russell's The Lair Of The White Worm the greatest film you've never seen? Highlights from Magenta & Bernard's weekly YouTube livestream, recorded 21st September 2025, with an audience of beloved tragic fans. This week, we are raising money for Choose Love. You can still donate to the campaign by visiting this link.⁠ M&B's next live stream will be on SUNDAY 28th SEPTEMBER - ⁠here's the link to watch, and to sign up for a reminder. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Magenta and Bernard are back! It’s a new season of our chat podcast  - with a twist! Because now it’s live! And for charity! From now on, M&B will be holding an almost-weekly live stream on YouTube, on Sundays, at 8pm UK time (3pm ET). These live streams are a chance for fans of the esoteric to get together, have silly goofy fun, stand up for what we believe in, ask esoteric questions, denounce the government, and listen to Bernard rocking out on the guitar.  And best of all, each week, we'll be raising money for a different charity. This time, we raised £170 for Choose Love. You can still donate to the campaign by visiting this link. M&B's next live stream will be on SUNDAY 21st SEPTEMBER - here's the link to watch, and sign up for a reminder. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's WHAM episode 6! (The last one) It's the SpOoOoOkY Halloween episode! This time, Mags and Bernie are making a kooky stop-motion adventure starring the Hungry Hungry Hippos - going all the way back to 2500 BC! ⁠Support Mags and Bernie on Ko-fi⁠ ⁠Find out about Long Cat Media's other podcasts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's WHAM episode 5! This one came to Magenta in a dream... a SIDESCROLLER video game movie. Starring JASON STATHAM. If the left side of the screen catches up with him... HE DIES. That's really all you need to know. ⁠Support Mags and Bernie on Ko-fi⁠ ⁠Find out about Long Cat Media's other podcasts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's WHAM episode 4! It's time to make a very respectful, very true-to-the-source-material, religious epic on a blockbuster scale! Magenta and Bernard are adapting The Book Of Revelation with an all-star cast. Of Furbies. ⁠Support Mags and Bernie on Ko-fi⁠ ⁠Find out about Long Cat Media's other podcasts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's WHAM episode 3! It's a long one today! Because there's a lot to say about SYLVANIAN FAMILIES! Magenta and Bernard devise a dark, satirical horror movie starring the little felted friends, and co-starring the sexiest animal-hybrid vampire you've ever seen. ⁠Support Mags and Bernie on Ko-fi⁠ ⁠Find out about Long Cat Media's other podcasts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's the second episode of WHAM! Magenta and Bernard plan a new Hollywood smash, this time revolving around a GENERIC PUZZLE CUBE (definitely not affiliated with Rubik's Cube, this is personal opinion, satire and parody, please don't try to destroy us). CW: sexy sex talk, mild substance abuse ⁠Support Mags and Bernie on Ko-fi⁠ ⁠Find out about Long Cat Media's other podcasts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's WHAM episode 1! Join Magenta and Bernard for the first instalment of their movie podcast experiment. First in the spotlight - Polly Pocket. How can the tiny clamshell-dwelling pixie be turned into a hit movie? And what could it possibly have to do with... string theory? Listen now to find out. ⁠Support Mags & Bernie on Ko-fi⁠ ⁠Find out about Long Cat Media's other podcasts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Read the Transcripts In this instalment of M&B's Paranormal Investigations: Mags, Bernie and Lindsay join forces with some unlikely allies in this, the final showdown of the season! Special guest stars: Beth Eyre as Inzilbeth, and David K Barnes as Gilmikhad. Support Magenta & Bernard on Ko-fi! Buy Madame Magenta's Patented Decision Maker! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Read the Transcripts In this instalment of M&B's Paranormal Investigations: A worrying phone call from Seraphina brings the coven back to Misty Moor Rectory... where all hell is, quite literally, breaking loose. Support Magenta & Bernard on Ko-fi! Buy Madame Magenta's Patented Decision Maker! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Read the Transcripts In this instalment of M&B's Paranormal Investigations: The youngest member of the coven, Lindsay, has fallen from a magical oak tree and broken her arm. So it's a trip to A&E (or ER for our American listeners) for the family. But this hospital is feeling very... VERY... crowded... ... with ghosts. That's what we're getting at. Support Magenta & Bernard on Ko-fi! Buy Madame Magenta's Patented Decision Maker! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices