We Still Like Each Other

Hey! Surprise episode. We talk about Steph's birth story and reflect on 8 years of marriage. Enjoy!

This week Stephanie and Travis discuss how hectic things have been in recent weeks. Are we as a culture addicted to the grind? It always feels like after we complete a task we will finally rest only to start a new unexpected task. Is being busy our norm even if we complain about it all the time? Cause if i ain't one thing it's another right? Stephanie discusses walking the line  between celebrating this pregnancy and doing too much influenced by others. Creating life is always worth celebrating, but how do we stop ourselves from celebrating in ways that aren't authentic to who we are? Stephanie and Travis share an amazing gift from a special friend that has allowed them to celebrate this pregnancy in a special way. Although everyone is sick of talking about Will and Jada, the latest revelation that they have been separated since 2016 was worth discussing. So much life happens in 8 years, keeping up false narratives during that amount of time must have been exhausting. Lastly, they talk a little more in depth about perfect attendance awards in childhood and how they impact our worklife in adulthood. What things do you consider before taking a sick day at work? Has our society’s increased awareness of mental health made it easier for working people to take time to take care of themselves or is it just a facade?

This week Stephanie and Travis discuss how her views on gifts as a long language may have changed. How should we address our partner when a personal need is not being met in a relationship without discrediting all the other ways your partner shows up for the relationship. Travis actually has a fact based “Did You Know”. When did the color pink become exclusive to girls? F*ck them kids, we revisit this saying from Episode 006. How has our perspective changed on putting your relationship before your kids?

This week Travis and Stephanie dive into a little love in the media and discuss Brittany Renner’s body count and the new season of Love is Blind. Is 35 “bodies” at the age of 31 a lot when you do the math? Lydia is easy to hate, but is Uchee the true villain? This week Travis brings back “Did You Know”, well sorta. Stephanie and him are sort of conflicted on this segment. However, it led to a great discussion on how we start to mimic our partners personality traits. What do you think Stephanie has picked up from Travis' personality and vice versa? Stephanie discusses how she was disappointed in herself for how she spoke about certain things last episode. She recently read “The Mastery of Self” by Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. and realized she totally forgot about a major lesson she learned from that book. Stephanie also discusses the chapter “The Role of Family and Friends in Shaping your Habits” from the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. Can our evolutionary habit of doing what our friends and family do hold us back from doing what we truly want? Lastly, their discussion about the negative comments they received about having a girl last week blew up on tiktok. It opened their eyes to other deeply rooted issues we have towards baby girls and baby boys. From commenting on weight, neglect, and reinforcing gender norms. If you are in the tri-state area we encourage you to book a mini-fall photo shoot session with Tab Fields who has openings on October 8th and 14th in the New York CIty area. Please inquire with her at Tabfieldsphotography.com/contact This is a great opportunity to get great family photos, couples photos, maternity photos, etc.

We’re back! Did you suspect something was majorly wrong that we took such a long break? Well we break down exactly why we took a break and catch you up with what we’ve been up to. We reveal our baby girl's name. Stephanie gets a little heated talking about how we as a culture need to stop projecting our fears onto others. Why we decided to homeschool and how it's going. What are your thoughts on scheduling sex? We talk about our thoughts on this seemingly cringe tactic. Perhaps there’s something to it. Check out our website as we have added a video and audio option for submitting questions, stories, etc via the contact page.

This week Stephanie and Travis are once again joined by Author, Lorraine Avila. Lorraine was previously on WSLEO via zoom and it was absolutely crucial to have her on in person for a more intimate conversation. Lorraine was able to open up about her own romantic life while chit chatting about Love is Blind 4. Clearly we are all obsessed with the Netflix reality show. Tune in for their hot takes on Jackie & Chelsea. Is our love for Marshall causing us to hate Jackie too harshly? Is our hate for Kwame allowing us to ignore Chelsea's red flags?Stephanie and Lorraine discuss how the rules of the patriarchy and masculinity show up within them when in queer relationships. It is critical to be aware of how we innately repeat negative cycles when gender roles are blurred.Some men think a woman who works hard is undateable. These men have an urge to be needed by women. Has that impacted Lorraine's lifestyle? Do women have to make themselves small to be approachable? Or perhaps soften up?The Making of Yolanda La Bruja by Lorraine Avila, is a debut contemporary coming-of-age young adult (YA) novel. When 16-year-old Yolanda Alvarez is initiated into her family's traditional religion, she has a vision that the new kid in school is planning a shooting, but convincing people is harder than she thought: he's not just the only white kid there, he's the son of a powerful business man and upcoming politician. So it's up to Yolanda to get the new kid to see the beauty in her community before he harms it.Order your copy of The Making of Yolanda La Bruja wherever books are sold.

Travis and Stephanie had a little April fools fun, although they love Les Chat pod very much, they will all be staying in their lane. This week they discuss Jonathan Majors allegations and how our biggest mistakes do not define us. Stephanie is reading The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and discusses how imposter syndrome is developed throughout our entire life, not just in some corporate office. We have limiting beliefs in so much of our day to day lives. Can a shift in mindset and intentional use of language allow us to be better versions of ourselves?On ‘Oh So Ya’ll Can Relate” a young mother and wife is torn as her husband wishes to live a polyamorous lifestyle while she wishes to be in a monogamous relationship. Can a man love two women and maintain two separate households successfully? People should avoid guilt as a tactic to convince someone of being poly. This whole conversation led Stephanie and Travis to discuss being open to dating. So slide in their DM’s.

This week Stephanie and Travis welcome back Jojo & Dayra of Les Chat Podcast. They all compare relationship norms and their ideal Sunday. These vary in queer vs. hetero relationships as well as for couples with and without kids. Yet there are also similarities.Have you heard of endocannabinoids ? Well they are actually proof that female orgasms actually do exist. Apparently some people feel they are a myth. Science has also proven women are more fluid in their sexual attraction than men.Would you be in a long distance relationship with some in prison? What if they were convicted of murder? Do we believe in the rehabilitation process of the criminal justice system?- Les Chat Podcast: https://linktr.ee/leschat

Episode 080 was a complete derailment of the outline. Wow. They had every intention to focus on the topics, but their recent “discussions” took over. They spent a great chunk of time debating their roles in the relationship, if they should shift, and comparing their roles to “how everyone has always done it.” Travis is very flexible. But Stephanie wants him to be intentional with his child rearing, not just follow her beliefs. Is it because she needs help or is it because she doesn't  want to be the only one to blame if their children have something to say about their childhood? On “Oh So Y’all Can Relate” someone changes their EX’s contact name to make it seem it's just another friend. Would you allow your partner to communicate with their ex if they had a life threatening accident?  Oh and yeah those Drake ticket prices were very humbling to the Whiteman household. Stephanie and Travis are not okay.

After celebrating 7 years of marriage last week and giving our minds and bodies rest, we are back. We jump right in discussing how we had a tense “discussion” yesterday. After 7 years of marriage we still like each other very much, but we still let each other down. We are human. Even when we have applied effective communication and have been explicit with our needs, our partners fall short. So what do we do? How do we get back to feeling connected? Someone once asked us, “How do we encourage our partners without sounding like their parents?”. We discuss how it's possible in our marriage and the recipe for making it work in any relationship. Lastly, we discuss how “therapy talk” and mental health plays a role in dating and “competitive advantages”. I LOVE bringing things back to evolutionary psych. Emotional maturity is starting to be just as, if not more important than one's financial status or physical attractiveness. Check out our brand new home studio on YouTube.

This week we answer various listener submitted questions such as our opinion on dating apps, long distance relationships, and alone time while in a relationship. We also talk about the appropriate amount of making out. Some think making out is childish. Some consider making out foreplay. How do you feel about making out and has your stance changed while in a relationship? Talking about intimacy is becoming less and less taboo, but where do we draw the line? How do we choose which details we keep to ourselves?“Did You Know” women in Spain will now be granted 3-5 days of menstrual leave? Hopefully the rest of the world follows, but not everyone may agree with this accommodation. I feel there is a bigger conversation to be had surrounding flexibility at work and using personal days without an explanation.On “Oh So Yall Can Relate” a listener tells us about her 8-9 year situationship that is now coming to an end because she's pregnant by someone else. Guess who finally is ready to commit? -Stephanie

We’re back! Despite being sick I refused to skip another week. I get on Travis for not buying “just because” flowers, but he disagrees. I also almost slept on the couch because of his snoring recently. A new study about married couples sleeping arrangements was conducted by the New York Times last month. Travis is still 100% against it, while my opinion has shifted.“Did You Know?” men escape in the bathroom? Well did you know water is wet? Lol. While this isn't a pressing issue in our marriage, I 100% know it happens more often than we think. Our phone addictions make taking a number 2 twice as long. We let our legs go numb scrolling on the toilet.On “Oh so Y’all Can Relate” a man wants to know if he’s in denial since he is trying to make it work with his wife who has cheated twice. I hope you can tune in. -Stephanie

What are the boundaries of healthy co-parenting? Is it appropriate to go on dates without the child? When is forcing a relationship actually bad for the child? We got inspired by a tiktok of a woman asking her baby daddy to go out to celebrate their break up anniversary. Has gaslighting become a buzzword? Is it overly misused? Well on this episode we discuss five different types of gaslighting. Travis gets triggered by that word. Have we gaslighted each other? SPOILER ALERT: We discuss HBO’s “The Last of Us” and Netflix’s “Pamela: A Love Story”. We dive into the amazing same sex couple portrayed in episode 3 of The Last of Us that had me hysterically crying. Pamela Andersons story shows us how we desperately seek to recreate the comforts of our childhood, even when it's toxic and chaotic. -Stephanie

It’s been a rough week in our parenting that is following the tough week I had with my gut health. So yeah, ya girl is tired. However, I am also so grateful. Gratitude and grace have kept me going the past couple of weeks. Travis and I have experienced extended moments of feeling disconnected this past week. Travis tried to use humor to reconnect, I was just not feeling it. Sometimes, the things we love about our partners are annoying during stressful times. How could we set boundaries in our romantic relationships? Specifically boundaries around when we can unload our mental stress on our partners? Is it strange to ask your partner if they have the capacity to hear us vent? We complete this very intimate conversation with 4 questions from “The And” Long Term Relationship Box set. Find out what Travis and I have learned about love, what keeps us going strong, what we envision our next chapter as, and what mistakes we constantly make. Best, Stephanie. 

How do you know when it is time to end a relationship? In hindsight, what signals were you ignoring that prolonged a doomed relationship? I reflect on how low self esteem may have contributed to my cheating ways in high school. Travis reflects on how relationships can turn into a security blanket. So you keep it even when it's obviously time to get rid of it. The reasons to end a romantic relationship apply to ending platonic friendships and cutting family off as well. Boundaries should be honored by everyone in your life. TRIGGER WARNING: Domestic Violence. On ‘Oh So Y’all Can Relate’ we read an unfortunate story about a woman who feels helpless. Her brother is an abuser and she even witnessed him slap his partner. What do we do as friends or family members of people in abusive relationships? How do we support them or hold them accountable? We may be unintentionally enabling abusers by turning a blind eye to it. What boundaries should you set for yourself? -Stephanie

This week we discuss an alternative definition of self love. Love isn't just grand gestures and admiration. It is the day to day work and acts of service that make living life easier and more enjoyable. What ways are we showing ourselves love? It is beyond “self care” and hobbies. Self love isn’t always pretty. To snip “it” or not? Why do humans want biological children? Why do parents decide to stop having more children? Are these reasons self-centered? We discuss our indecisiveness with going through with a vasectomy and the possibility of adoption. Tune in to hear how I have lessened the impact of my cycles of sadness. I have revealed my healing journey with you all, little by little, in an unstructured way. It has just felt natural to do so. Let me know if you want to keep hearing about it.-Stephanie

This week we discuss Gabrielle Union's “controversial” statement that she felt “entitled” to cheating because she paid all the bills in her previous marriage. Are the blogs feeding the “battle of the sexes” we discussed in recent episodes? Or was she completely wrong for that statement? Has a song, movie, podcast ever made you break up with someone? This week's “Did You Know?” shows us it happens more often than you think. What does authenticity mean to you and how does it show up in your relationships? Does change impact authenticity? What is more authentic, your unfiltered reactive response or a thoughtful one? -Stephanie

Happy New Year from the WSLEO family to the world. This week we reflect on our year, the year ahead, and how our very different brains can use the same tools for personal growth. While setting the bar too high at the beginning of the year can be a recipe for disaster, there is nothing wrong with taking advantage of “new year new me” energy to set goals. There is something super attractive about vulnerability. If you haven't already, prioritize talking with your partner about how you envision 2023. What does filling your cup look like? Why does it matter that your cup is filled? I read from my personal reflection on this topic of cup filling. It is my reminder to prioritize me so that my family gets me at my best. We also talk about Johan Hill’s new movie about his therapist, Stutz. His tool “Life Force” really resonated with me mostly because it was reinforcing something I sort of already knew about my mental health. Spoiler alert, there is no surprise to why I feel better mentally and emotionally when I am taking care of my physical body. Lastly we reveal our most listened to episodes of 2022, which was your favorite episode of the year? What topic have you been dying for us to cover? - Stephanie

They are back! COVID hit their home for the third time in the past 2 years, but they are fully recovered and ready to do all things WSLEO. They had a lot to cover and shared their thoughts and perspectives on the passing of Stephen tWitch Boss, the Tory Lanez and Meg Thee Stallion trial, the unfortunate yet predictable impact of men becoming an extra child in a marriage, and TWO “Oh So Y’all Can Relate” submissions. Yes this is a long one! 9-8-8 is the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline which is available 24/7 to anyone in the United States in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. Things that were unintentionally discussed: Stephanie opens up about her recent venture into therapy. Stephanie and Travis had a miscommunication in the bedroom, it includes a toy. Sponsor: Midnight Electrichttps://mec-ny.com

This week Stephanie shares some gems she has encountered in Yung Pueblos new book Lighter. We have discussed extensively how our childhoods impact our perception and our behavior, but what about tough moments now? How can self awareness and great communication skills prevent us from falling into and staying in toxic patterns? As creatures of habit, we have to be intentional in our attempts to be better and do better. On ‘Oh So Ya’ll Can Relate’ Travis tells us about a young woman who put up with way more than she should, yet was still doubting if she was in fact abused and manipulated. Financial and emotional abuse are often harder to define. Getting out of a toxic situation does not feel good or euphoric. Just because it's hard doesn't mean it was the wrong call. This submission is heartbreaking with many valuable lessons. Hopefully it will help others realize they also need to leave similar situations.