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DNA Surprises

Author: Alexis Hourselt

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Welcome to DNA Surprises, a podcast that delves into the world of unexpected DNA discoveries. I'm your host, Alexis Hourselt. In July 2021, my life took a surprising turn when I found out I'm an NPE—a person who's experienced a non-paternal event. In other words, my biological father isn’t who I thought he was. Join me as we explore the stories of NPEs, adoptees, and donor-conceived people and their families. Get ready to unravel the astonishing journeys that begin with a simple DNA test —this is DNA Surprises.


97 Episodes
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There is never a good time to discover that the man you’ve called “Dad” for your entire life isn’t biologically related to you, but I imagine that having this realization as he lays in a hospital bed, dying, must be among the worst.In the season 7 finale of DNA Surprises, Dana Schmalenberg shares how she uncovered the truth that both of her parents held tightly until the day her father passed. She reveals the shocking truth about her biological father, a man who fathered 9 other children, many of whom share strange similarities.She also reveals how her DNA discovery led her to a new career path, and why she created a new resource for her fellow NPEs. Thank you for sharing your story Dana.Resources:https://www.navigationalnarratives.comSupport the showRegistration is now open for the 2nd Annual DNA Surprise Retreat. Join us from September 19-22 in beautiful Phoenix, AZ. Learn more at www.dnasurpriseretreat.com!Join the DNA Surprises Patreon community! IG: @dnasurprisesTwitter: @dnasurprisesTikTok: @dnasurprisesWebsite: www.dnasurprisespodcast.comDNA Surprise Retreat | A bridge to healing for NPEs, adoptees, and DCPs after a DNA discovery.
How do you define family? For so many of us, DNA surprises have made us reflect deeply on this question. For Wyatt, Cassidy, Cody, and Angela, the answer is different depending on who you ask.Twenty-plus years ago when Wyatt, Cassidy, and Cody were born, fertility clinics didn’t advocate for disclosure. So when their mother and father asked Angela, a clinic employee who’d befriended their mom, to donate her eggs for their subsequent pregnancies, they opted to position Angela as more of a family friend.Their families kept in touch over the years, until contact suddenly stopped. After many twists and turns, today, their family looks different to each of them. Wyatt lives with Angela, her husband, and their biological and adopted children. Cassidy views Angela more like a fun aunt. Meanwhile, Cody’s relationship is a little more distant. In this week’s episode, the four of them discuss their journeys from the beginning to where things are now. They also share what changes they’d like to see in the fertility industry. You’ll hear throughout the episode that each of the siblings has a different perspective on their stories, from when they found out to how they found out. I won’t get on my soapbox again, but I believe this highlights the importance for each of us to be entitled to our own feelings about our own stories.Thank you to Angela, Wyatt, Cody, and Cassidy for sharing your stories.Support the showRegistration is now open for the 2nd Annual DNA Surprise Retreat. Join us from September 19-22 in beautiful Phoenix, AZ. Learn more at www.dnasurpriseretreat.com!Join the DNA Surprises Patreon community! IG: @dnasurprisesTwitter: @dnasurprisesTikTok: @dnasurprisesWebsite: www.dnasurprisespodcast.comDNA Surprise Retreat | A bridge to healing for NPEs, adoptees, and DCPs after a DNA discovery.
Lisa S' DNA Surprise

Lisa S' DNA Surprise

2024-03-1201:16:02

Many of us who have had DNA surprises spend some time wondering “What if?” What if we’d been raised in a different house, with our newly discovered biological parent? What if we’d known the truth from the beginning? What would our lives look like now? Would they be better? Or…would they be worse?In this week’s episode, Lisa shares how she uncovered her shocking DNA surprise, learning that her biological father is her dad’s best friend. She shares how she’s built beautiful relationships with her newfound family, which has led to her wonder what life would have been like if she’d known them earlier. Ultimately, she reveals why she believes everything it happened as it should.Thank you for sharing your story, Lisa.Support the showRegistration is now open for the 2nd Annual DNA Surprise Retreat. Join us from September 19-22 in beautiful Phoenix, AZ. Learn more at www.dnasurpriseretreat.com!Join the DNA Surprises Patreon community! IG: @dnasurprisesTwitter: @dnasurprisesTikTok: @dnasurprisesWebsite: www.dnasurprisespodcast.comDNA Surprise Retreat | A bridge to healing for NPEs, adoptees, and DCPs after a DNA discovery.
Ryan's DNA Surprise

Ryan's DNA Surprise

2024-02-2736:00

Secrets. Secrets are often at the beginning of a DNA surprise. But after the surprise is uncovered, is that the end of them? In this week’s episode, Ryan shares how on one fateful Thanksgiving, his mother confessed the truth about his paternity. When he spoke to his birth certificate father and his biological father, they both requested that he continue the secrecy.Ryan discusses why keeping the secret is harmful to him and why he struggles with when to share his DNA surprise with others. He also shares how his DNA surprise affected his mental health and altered his identity.Thank you for sharing your story, Ryan.Resources:DNA Surprises Third Thursday MeetupsSupport the showRegistration is now open for the 2nd Annual DNA Surprise Retreat. Join us from September 19-22 in beautiful Phoenix, AZ. Learn more at www.dnasurpriseretreat.com!Join the DNA Surprises Patreon community! IG: @dnasurprisesTwitter: @dnasurprisesTikTok: @dnasurprisesWebsite: www.dnasurprisespodcast.comDNA Surprise Retreat | A bridge to healing for NPEs, adoptees, and DCPs after a DNA discovery.
Jill's DNA Surprise

Jill's DNA Surprise

2024-02-2045:37

Something that I’ve heard more than once on this podcast is a situation that goes something like this: people are having an argument. A mother and child. A husband and wife. Both parents with their child, or some other combination. And then, in the heat of the moment, someone reveals the truth. So and so isn’t your real dad anyway. And then, just as quickly as it was blurted out, it is taken back. Dismissed. Forgotten about or explained away for years, until decades later, a DNA test brings the truth to light. In this week’s episode, Jill shares her version of this story. Her story is ultimately one of resilience. From childhood abuse to cancer diagnoses to her NPE, she discusses the truth as she knows it, and how she emerged from her challenges with the goal to inspire others to persevere in the face of adversity.Thank you, Jill, for sharing your story.You can learn about Jill's memoirs and more at www.justbeingjill.com.Support the showRegistration is now open for the 2nd Annual DNA Surprise Retreat. Join us from September 19-22 in beautiful Phoenix, AZ. Learn more at www.dnasurpriseretreat.com!Join the DNA Surprises Patreon community! IG: @dnasurprisesTwitter: @dnasurprisesTikTok: @dnasurprisesWebsite: www.dnasurprisespodcast.comDNA Surprise Retreat | A bridge to healing for NPEs, adoptees, and DCPs after a DNA discovery.
Tina's DNA Surprise

Tina's DNA Surprise

2024-02-1328:39

Tina grew up believing that her biological father didn’t want to be part of her life. Imagine her shock when, after taking a DNA test, she found out that her biological father is someone else altogether. In this week’s episode, Tina shares how she found her biological father and then quickly lost him. She also reveals her family history of NPEs, including her own son.Thank you for sharing your story, Tina.Support the showRegistration is now open for the 2nd Annual DNA Surprise Retreat. Join us from September 19-22 in beautiful Phoenix, AZ. Learn more at www.dnasurpriseretreat.com!Join the DNA Surprises Patreon community! IG: @dnasurprisesTwitter: @dnasurprisesTikTok: @dnasurprisesWebsite: www.dnasurprisespodcast.comDNA Surprise Retreat | A bridge to healing for NPEs, adoptees, and DCPs after a DNA discovery.
The thing about DNA Surprises is that they can happen to anyone. It doesn’t matter your race, socioeconomic status, politics, or background. In this week’s episode, my guest, author Robin Schepper, shares her DNA surprise story.For more than thirty years, Robin served at the highest levels of American politics and government. including on four presidential campaigns, in the Clinton White House, and as the first Executive Director of Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move! Initiative.  She also grew up not knowing who her father was and spent decades trying to find him. In this episode, Robin discusses how she felt different growing up without a father and how she was finally unable to uncover his true identity. She also shares why she decided to write a memoir about her experiences. She also shares a beautiful poem that speaks to the “what ifs” that so many of us contemplate. Robin’s memoir, titled Finding My Way: A Memoir of Family, Identity, and Political Ambition, and website are linked in the show notes, so be sure to check them out. Buy her book: https://www.amazon.com/Finding-My-Way-Identity-Political/dp/195485496XVisit her website: https://robinfschepperauthor.com/Thank you for sharing your story, Robin.Support the showRegistration is now open for the 2nd Annual DNA Surprise Retreat. Join us from September 19-22 in beautiful Phoenix, AZ. Learn more at www.dnasurpriseretreat.com!Join the DNA Surprises Patreon community! IG: @dnasurprisesTwitter: @dnasurprisesTikTok: @dnasurprisesWebsite: www.dnasurprisespodcast.comDNA Surprise Retreat | A bridge to healing for NPEs, adoptees, and DCPs after a DNA discovery.
Ray's DNA Surprise

Ray's DNA Surprise

2024-01-3034:57

Imagine being 16 and witnessing your parents’ divorce. Imagine finding out at this time that the man who raised you is not your biological father. After finding your biological father and failing to connect, you go through the next three decades just living your life. You have a child. You get married. You get divorced. And then you take a DNA test and experience a DNA surprise all over again. Only this time, the truth is closer to home than you imagine. In this week’s episode, Ray shares his remarkable DNA surprise journey, including how he finally discovered the true identity of his biological father. Thank you for sharing your story, Ray.Support the showRegistration is now open for the 2nd Annual DNA Surprise Retreat. Join us from September 19-22 in beautiful Phoenix, AZ. Learn more at www.dnasurpriseretreat.com!Join the DNA Surprises Patreon community! IG: @dnasurprisesTwitter: @dnasurprisesTikTok: @dnasurprisesWebsite: www.dnasurprisespodcast.comDNA Surprise Retreat | A bridge to healing for NPEs, adoptees, and DCPs after a DNA discovery.
Sometimes, DNA surprises happen more than once. NPEs, adoptees, and donor-conceived people might have their worlds shaken, only to have it happen again months, years, or even decades later. In this week’s episode, Daughter Dee shares her late discovery adoptee experience, which was followed decades later by an NPE. She shares how she learned that she was adopted, how she uncovered the truth about her biological father, and how she’s turned her experiences into helping others.Thank you for sharing your story, Daughter Dee.Support the showRegistration is now open for the 2nd Annual DNA Surprise Retreat. Join us from September 19-22 in beautiful Phoenix, AZ. Learn more at www.dnasurpriseretreat.com!Join the DNA Surprises Patreon community! IG: @dnasurprisesTwitter: @dnasurprisesTikTok: @dnasurprisesWebsite: www.dnasurprisespodcast.comDNA Surprise Retreat | A bridge to healing for NPEs, adoptees, and DCPs after a DNA discovery.
Erika's DNA Surprise

Erika's DNA Surprise

2024-01-1649:20

Erika's incredible DNA surprise journey starts with a mind-altering awakening. Erika always felt an underlying sense of 'otherness' in her family. After an experience with psilocybin, or “magic mushrooms,” she realized that there was a big lie in her life. Thanks to a DNA test and a potent dose of self-awareness, a truth emerges that casts her entire upbringing in a new light. In this episode, Erika shares how she’s navigated the emotional fallout, reassessed her relationships, and grappled with her newly discovered Irish lineage. She also discusses how patriarchal norms in our society can create toxicity within the NPE community.Thank you for sharing your story, Erika.Support the showRegistration is now open for the 2nd Annual DNA Surprise Retreat. Join us from September 19-22 in beautiful Phoenix, AZ. Learn more at www.dnasurpriseretreat.com!Join the DNA Surprises Patreon community! IG: @dnasurprisesTwitter: @dnasurprisesTikTok: @dnasurprisesWebsite: www.dnasurprisespodcast.comDNA Surprise Retreat | A bridge to healing for NPEs, adoptees, and DCPs after a DNA discovery.
Welcome to Season 7 of DNA Surprises. In the first episode of the season, Jenniffer shares how she unraveled her mother's deep secrets via DNA testing. Jenniffer talks about growing up in a Venezuelan family, fostered at times by her paternal grandparents, only to discover later in life that she shares no DNA with them. In addition, she learned that all of her raised siblings share different fathers. We discuss how the discovery impacted her and her siblings, how she’s building relationships with her newfound family, and how she’s moving toward acceptance. Thank you for sharing your story, Jenniffer. Support the showRegistration is now open for the 2nd Annual DNA Surprise Retreat. Join us from September 19-22 in beautiful Phoenix, AZ. Learn more at www.dnasurpriseretreat.com!Join the DNA Surprises Patreon community! IG: @dnasurprisesTwitter: @dnasurprisesTikTok: @dnasurprisesWebsite: www.dnasurprisespodcast.comDNA Surprise Retreat | A bridge to healing for NPEs, adoptees, and DCPs after a DNA discovery.
Jamie's DNA Surprise

Jamie's DNA Surprise

2023-11-2801:02:48

Welcome to the season 6 finale of DNA Surprises. In this week’s episode, Jamie bravely shares her DNA surprise journey, which began 5 years ago with a 23&Me test.Jamie’s story encapsulates many parts of the DNA surprise stories we hear. She shares how her NPE came as a complete surprise. Her story includes an ethnic shift, from Italian to Portuguese, rejection AND acceptance, family estrangement, secrecy, and openness. and mental health issues. She also touches on her experience as a recipient parent of an egg donation and how her NPE has reaffirmed her commitment to be transparent with her daughter. Jamie acknowledges that while her journey ebbs and flows, she’s living life on her own terms now and is dedicated to welcoming relationships that nourish her.Thank you for sharing your story, Jamie.Before we wrap up for the year, I want to thank everyone who joined me in Season 6: Rikki, Jules, Kendall, Eric, Michelle, Pam, Gerard, Nina, Lily, Patrice, Michelle Tullier, Lawrence, and Jamie. Thank you for trusting me with your stories and helping others feel less alone.And thank you for listening. We’ll be back in January with a new season of DNA surprise stories. Until next time.  Support the showRegistration is now open for the 2nd Annual DNA Surprise Retreat. Join us from September 19-22 in beautiful Phoenix, AZ. Learn more at www.dnasurpriseretreat.com!Join the DNA Surprises Patreon community! IG: @dnasurprisesTwitter: @dnasurprisesTikTok: @dnasurprisesWebsite: www.dnasurprisespodcast.comDNA Surprise Retreat | A bridge to healing for NPEs, adoptees, and DCPs after a DNA discovery.
Barbara's DNA Surprise

Barbara's DNA Surprise

2023-11-2145:42

In this week's episode, we delve into Barbara's DNA surprise story.  Barbara grew up with a strong connection to her German heritage before discovering, in her fifties, that she was donor-conceived and of Jewish descent. She discusses the challenges she faced, the shock and sense of displacement she felt after the discovery, and the impact it had on her relationships with her parents–and her sense of self. She also shares the joy she experienced in connecting with some of her half-siblings. Thank you for sharing your story, Barbara.Support the showRegistration is now open for the 2nd Annual DNA Surprise Retreat. Join us from September 19-22 in beautiful Phoenix, AZ. Learn more at www.dnasurpriseretreat.com!Join the DNA Surprises Patreon community! IG: @dnasurprisesTwitter: @dnasurprisesTikTok: @dnasurprisesWebsite: www.dnasurprisespodcast.comDNA Surprise Retreat | A bridge to healing for NPEs, adoptees, and DCPs after a DNA discovery.
In this week’s episode, Lawrence shares his surprise at learning that he is a late discovery adoptee. After he took a DNA test, Lawrence discovered that the mom who raised him is not his biological mother. He describes his search for his biological family, as well as the truth about his birth story, and how his newfound relationships are blossoming. Thank you for sharing your story, Lawrence.Resources:DNAngelsSupport the showRegistration is now open for the 2nd Annual DNA Surprise Retreat. Join us from September 19-22 in beautiful Phoenix, AZ. Learn more at www.dnasurpriseretreat.com!Join the DNA Surprises Patreon community! IG: @dnasurprisesTwitter: @dnasurprisesTikTok: @dnasurprisesWebsite: www.dnasurprisespodcast.comDNA Surprise Retreat | A bridge to healing for NPEs, adoptees, and DCPs after a DNA discovery.
Have you been wondering when and where the 2024 DNA Surprise Retreat will be held? In this bonus episode, Debbie and I share all of the details about next year's DNA Surprise Retreat. We also chat about what we loved about 2023's retreat and what we look forward to next year.Registration for the retreat opens November 15, 2023. Visit www.dnasurpriseretreat.com for more info!Support the showRegistration is now open for the 2nd Annual DNA Surprise Retreat. Join us from September 19-22 in beautiful Phoenix, AZ. Learn more at www.dnasurpriseretreat.com!Join the DNA Surprises Patreon community! IG: @dnasurprisesTwitter: @dnasurprisesTikTok: @dnasurprisesWebsite: www.dnasurprisespodcast.comDNA Surprise Retreat | A bridge to healing for NPEs, adoptees, and DCPs after a DNA discovery.
One of the most healing things that we can do during our DNA surprise journeys is to write about them. In this week's episode, I'm joined by author Michelle Tullier. Michelle talks about her journey of finding out the truth, her initial reaction to her discovery, and how she has processed the emotions and navigated her new relationships. She also discusses the importance of therapy and writing in her healing process, as well as her plans to publish a memoir about her experience.Thank you for sharing your story, Michelle.Resources:https://www.michelletullierauthor.com/https://www.instagram.com/michelle_tullier_author/Support the showRegistration is now open for the 2nd Annual DNA Surprise Retreat. Join us from September 19-22 in beautiful Phoenix, AZ. Learn more at www.dnasurpriseretreat.com!Join the DNA Surprises Patreon community! IG: @dnasurprisesTwitter: @dnasurprisesTikTok: @dnasurprisesWebsite: www.dnasurprisespodcast.comDNA Surprise Retreat | A bridge to healing for NPEs, adoptees, and DCPs after a DNA discovery.
Patrice's DNA Surprise

Patrice's DNA Surprise

2023-10-3147:31

Not many of us experience our DNA surprises on television, but this week’s guest did exactly that. Patrice is a foundling adoptee, adopted at just a few months old after being abandoned in a garbage bin. She always knew she was adopted, but as an adult, she decided she wanted to look for her biological family.The TLC show Long Lost Family shows her finding her biological sister, but much more happened behind the scenes. She shares what happened when she reunited with her biological mother and how it changed her perspective on her story. She also discusses how she’s used her experiences to advocate and provide support for her community.Thank you for sharing your story, Patrice.Resources:Adoptee Prayer Collective Support the showRegistration is now open for the 2nd Annual DNA Surprise Retreat. Join us from September 19-22 in beautiful Phoenix, AZ. Learn more at www.dnasurpriseretreat.com!Join the DNA Surprises Patreon community! IG: @dnasurprisesTwitter: @dnasurprisesTikTok: @dnasurprisesWebsite: www.dnasurprisespodcast.comDNA Surprise Retreat | A bridge to healing for NPEs, adoptees, and DCPs after a DNA discovery.
Welcome to a bonus episode of DNA Surprises. Michael Paul first joined me in Season 2, shortly after his discovery. In this bonus episode, Michael shares an update on what's happened in his life since we last spoke. He shares his journey of discovering the importance of self-care and setting boundaries after a DNA surprise. He also discusses his evolving relationship with his bio dad and the challenges he faces, along with the positive changes he's made in his life, such as changing his last name and pursuing his career passions. This is a shorter version of our conversation - if you'd like to hear the episode in its entirety, join me over on Patreon at Patreon.com/DNASurprises.Support the showRegistration is now open for the 2nd Annual DNA Surprise Retreat. Join us from September 19-22 in beautiful Phoenix, AZ. Learn more at www.dnasurpriseretreat.com!Join the DNA Surprises Patreon community! IG: @dnasurprisesTwitter: @dnasurprisesTikTok: @dnasurprisesWebsite: www.dnasurprisespodcast.comDNA Surprise Retreat | A bridge to healing for NPEs, adoptees, and DCPs after a DNA discovery.
Nina's DNA Surprise

Nina's DNA Surprise

2023-10-1736:57

Something we unfortunately hear too often in our community is that NPEs were treated differently as children. In this week’s story, Nina shares how her DNA surprise explained why her mother treated her poorly her entire life. She also discusses how her newfound connections are going and how she is working to accept that she may never find answers. Thank you for sharing your story, Nina.Support the showRegistration is now open for the 2nd Annual DNA Surprise Retreat. Join us from September 19-22 in beautiful Phoenix, AZ. Learn more at www.dnasurpriseretreat.com!Join the DNA Surprises Patreon community! IG: @dnasurprisesTwitter: @dnasurprisesTikTok: @dnasurprisesWebsite: www.dnasurprisespodcast.comDNA Surprise Retreat | A bridge to healing for NPEs, adoptees, and DCPs after a DNA discovery.
Gerard's DNA Surprise

Gerard's DNA Surprise

2023-10-1058:491

This week’s DNA surprise story is told from a side we haven’t heard from yet - a found father. When Gerard received an email from a man claiming to be his son, he wasn’t sure what to think. He soon discovered that unbeknownst to him, he was the father of a 30-something-year-old man who had been adopted as an infant.Gerard shares how he pieced together who the mother of his son was and how he reconnected with her. He also discusses how supportive his wife and daughters have been as he builds a relationship with his son.Gerard’s story is one that many in the DNA surprise community hope for - he’s accepting, open, and seeks to understand how to best fit into his son’s life.Thank you for sharing your story, Gerard.Support the showRegistration is now open for the 2nd Annual DNA Surprise Retreat. Join us from September 19-22 in beautiful Phoenix, AZ. Learn more at www.dnasurpriseretreat.com!Join the DNA Surprises Patreon community! IG: @dnasurprisesTwitter: @dnasurprisesTikTok: @dnasurprisesWebsite: www.dnasurprisespodcast.comDNA Surprise Retreat | A bridge to healing for NPEs, adoptees, and DCPs after a DNA discovery.
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