Happy Polydays

Marjani Lane (@marjanilane) is one of the most well-known Black polyamorous educators and is a hugely important voice in the community when it comes to pro-Black polyamorous activism. To round off this season, we discuss Marjani’s life as a queer, disabled polyamorist, as well as several controversial, hard-hitting issues in the Black polyamorous and polygamous communities: - why Marjani believes that people can be polyamorous cheaters, and that solo polyamory is a life philosophy rather than a specific lifestyle - how Marjani’s physical disabilities and diagnoses of ASPD and OCPD affect how they practice polyamory - The distinction between fluid bonding and fluid exchange, and how some Black polyamorists do not feel that mainstream polyamory terms were made for them or with them in mind - How the Black community’s idea of polygyny and the goal of “building an empire” to “save” the Black community ultimately tie back to white supremacy, misogynoir and a struggle with identity and acceptance - Queerphobia and ableism in the polyamorous community, and how the idea of “usefulness” serves a pro-capitalist, pro-natalist agenda that comes at the expense of the marginalised and much more. EPISODE TRANSCRIPT FOLLOW US: Leanne (@polyphiliablog): Instagram | Facebook | Tiktok | Twitter | Youtube | Patreon | Website | Shop Marjani (@marjanilane): Instagram | Clubhouse | Tiktok | Facebook | Website

CW: emotional abuse, eating disorders In this harrowing, vulnerable episode, Morgan of @chillpolyamory shares her experiences in a cult from the age of 15-21, how she left and unpacked all the internalised shame and guilt around her sexuality, and went on to embrace an open, polyamorous life. We discuss:  - the parallels between high-control groups and certain oppressive religions, and the harm that causes to one's psyche  - how content creation has enabled Morgan to deal with her trigger around public humiliation head-on  - how kink has been a healing way for Morgan to safely and temporarily give up control (and why a 24/7 dynamic is not for her!)  - a surprisingly positive parallel between cults and the polyamorous community? and much more. EPISODE TRANSCRIPT FOLLOW US: Leanne (@polyphiliablog): Instagram | Facebook | Tiktok | Twitter | Youtube | Patreon | Website | Shop Morgan (@chillpolyamory): Instagram | Patreon | Website

Abuse happens in all kinds of relationships, and non-monogamous people are no different. Claire from @polypages and I discuss: - The Duluth Model of the power and control wheel as applied to abusive polyamorous dynamics - Whether the book More Than Two by Eve Rickert and Franklin Veaux should still be recommended as a polyamory introductory text - Why toxic positivity culture is harmful and does a disservice to the polyamorous community - Why non-monogamous people are more susceptible to abusive dynamics due to the lack of societal support available and toxic behaviours being brushed under the carpet as "jealousy issues to work through" - How Claire arrived at solo polyamory as the best fit for her life and much more. EPISODE TRANSCRIPT FOLLOW US: Leanne (@polyphiliablog): Instagram | Facebook | Tiktok | Twitter | Youtube | Patreon | Website | Shop Claire (@polypages): Instagram | Tiktok | Twitter | Website | Polyamory Day Event

Michelle Hy's polyamory advocacy work (@polyamorouswhileasian) on the political intersection between relationships and race, sex positivity, and body neutrality is well known to many. In this episode we discuss: - Michelle's very sudden introduction to polyamory at 18 years old - Misconceptions in mainstream polyamorous narratives - Handling boundaries and expectations with Asian parents - Why my mother is less accepting of my bisexuality than my cousin's lesbianism - Handling fetishisation of Asianness in dating, and where we draw the line between attraction and exoticisation and much more. EPISODE TRANSCRIPT FOLLOW US: Leanne (@polyphiliablog): Instagram | Facebook | Tiktok | Twitter | Youtube | Patreon | Website | Shop Michelle (@polyamorouswhileasian): Instagram | Website

What do purity culture and mononormativity have in common? I speak with @puritytopolyamory as she shares her fascinating story of moving from the oppressive Evangelical Christian religion to solo polyamory. We discuss: - How purity culture is rape culture, and why it is particularly damaging to people socialised as women - Why the many changes that occur in the opening up process lead to so many previously monogamous relationships failing at no fault of their own - How Christianity and polyamory can be reconciled, but not purity culture and polyamory - Why both of us no longer identify as demisexual and much more. FOLLOW US: Leanne (@polyphiliablog): Instagram | Facebook | Tiktok | Twitter | Youtube | Patreon | Website | Shop PTP (@puritytopolyamory): Instagram | Twitter | Podcast