Non-Monogamy Help
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© Lola Phoenix
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Non-Monogamy Help is a relationship advice podcast for people in non-monogamous or polyamorous relationships. With the help of a therapist with over a decade of experience, your host Lola Phoenix, answers the questions your questions about rules, hierarchies, unicorns and more.
171 Episodes
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Sometimes knowing way too much about your partner’s relationship with their metamour can seriously impact your relationship.
That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com and the art was made by Dom Duong at domduong.com!
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question.
All relationships end anyway. Some just come with a clearer expiration date than others.That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact.
How long should a partner wait for you to work through childhood trauma until you are “ready” for polyamory?That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact
Responding to the r/relationships question: My boyfriend wouldn't go with me to spread my father's ashes
That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.
Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact
If your metamour is a little cold to you, when do you decide to tell your partner?
That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.
This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.
Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.
Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.
Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact
The hinge is not hinging, and then the two metas have to negotiate with each other like the hinge is a hostage.That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact.
You don't get told who you're in a relationship with. That's something you decide yourself.That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact.
Just because you're secondary doesn't mean you should accept being treated like you don't matter.That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact
This week I'm re-sharing Episode 104 on Primal Panic because it's one of the most popular episodes and you might have missed it!That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact
Stop carrying the entire mental load of your relationship while your partner coasts on your effort.That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact
Are you people pleasing to the point where you think you've over corrected but really, you're under-correcting?That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact
You should never have to ask, 'What if someone crosses my boundary?' Because the boundary, in and of itself, by definition, should include what you will do if it is crossed.That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.This episode also features an ad for a Polyamory Retreat in Spain in September hosted by Dedeker Winston and Orit Krug. For more information about the retreat visit multiamory.com/retreatOur discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact
Why your brain processes relationship conflicts at night and how to break the cycle without exhausting your partner.That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.This episode also features an ad for a Polyamory Retreat in Spain in September hosted by Dedeker Winston and Orit Krug. For more information about the retreat visit multiamory.com/retreatThat's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contactOur discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact
How many times should you let someone violate your boundaries and can you rebuild trust after?That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact
When you’re no contact with a nesting metamour, can you make a relationship with your shared partner work?That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact
When your primary partner only wants to have threesomes other partners and not you, it may not be a good sign.That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact
Trying polyamory with a solo polyam person could be potentially difficult for a monogamous person.That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact
How do you stop becoming just a little bit obsessed with reading about polyamory?That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact
Prioritising a long term marriage is unethical to many people, but what do you if that’s genuinely what you want to do?That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact
Feeling like you have to make yourself scarce in your own home can get old very quickly.That's what's on this week of Non-Monogamy Help. Find the full audio transcription of this episode on my website.This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Check my affiliate link at https://betterhelp.com/nonmonogamyhelp for 10% off your first month.Our discussion question this week came from the Odder Being Polyamory Conversation Cards. Pick up your own copy using my affiliate link and use NONMONOHELP at checkout for 10% off.Music for this podcast has been provided by Chris Albery-Jones at albery-jones.com.Email ask@nonmonogamyhelp.com with your question or record your question on nonmonogamyhelp.com/contact
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Lost me with the repeated harping that “nonmonogamy” doesn’t need the “ethical” qualifier on it, as if nonmonogamy is inherently ethical. It’s not. Nonmonogamy by definition literally just means “not being monogamous”, and cheating is absolutely one way of not being monogamous. Cheating IS a form of nonmonogamy, one that isn’t isn’t ethical, and that’s why the qualifier is needed - to clarify when someone IS being ethical and isn’t cheating. It’s an important distinction, considering that the only form of nonmonogamy most people are aware of is cheating, and the idea of being *ethical* with it is the form that is rather revolutionary and unheard of for most people. I think it’s important to consider how people understand the words we use, and their actual definitions, not what we wish they meant in an ideal world.