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Darling: Confessions of a Former Megachurch Singer
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Darling: Confessions of a Former Megachurch Singer

Author: Becky Ykema

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Darling is a series of true stories and conversations based on experiences from within megachurch culture. Darling exists to bring light into dark spaces of big church in order to inspire change for the better.
47 Episodes
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Welcome back to Season 3 of Darling! Thank you for joining us on this journey together. Today's episode is a discussion about generalists and specialists, and while both are needed, those of us who are specialists ought not to rely fully on talent alone. It takes more to cultivate and sustain a healthy ministry team than sheer talent. Join us for this conversation today! www.darlingthepodcast.com Have an idea for a future episode, or a story you want to share? I'd love to hear from you! Please write to us at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com. Music by Hymns of the People can be found here at Spotify or Apple Music Hosted by Spotify for Podcasters.
Welcome back to Season 3 of Darling! Thank you for joining us on this journey together. Today's episode is about the importance of always always always putting people over performance. This comes out of my own confessions and mistakes of which I share here. Join us for this conversation that ends with some helpful next steps for anyone with a tendency to focus on getting that perfect performance. www.darlingthepodcast.com Have an idea for a future episode, or a story you want to share? I'd love to hear from you! Please write to us at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com. Music by Hymns of the People can be found here at Spotify or Apple Music Hosted by Spotify for Podcasters.
Welcome back to Season 3 of Darling! Thank you for joining us on this journey together. Today's episode is about the outcomes that can occur when either WE fall in love with the idea of a church, person, job, fill-in-the-blank, or SOMEONE falls in love with the idea of you. But it's an idea, not the true you. We have enough data points about the person, place or job, and then negligently fill in the rest of the dots on our own. This can be really troublesome when hiring someone on your team, or saying yes to a relationship or position! We're calling this one, The Idea of You. www.darlingthepodcast.com Have an idea for a future episode, or a story you want to share? I'd love to hear from you! Please write to us at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com. Music by Hymns of the People can be found here at Spotify or Apple Music Hosted by Spotify for Podcasters.
Welcome back to Season 3 of Darling! Thank you for joining us on this journey together. Today's episode is about this sneaky little tendency to hide out in the green room and not engage the rest of the service or congregation. We're calling this one, The Green Room Creep. Not a person, but an action. www.darlingthepodcast.com Have an idea for a future episode, or a story you want to share? I'd love to hear from you! Please write to us at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com. Music by Hymns of the People can be found here at Spotify or Apple Music Hosted by Spotify for Podcasters.
Welcome back to Season 3 of Darling! Thank you for joining us on this journey together. Today's episode is about times when we avoid hard conversations, and how it better serves everyone to simply make it weird, lean into the tension and address the matter from the start. www.darlingthepodcast.com Have an idea for a future episode, or a story you want to share? I'd love to hear from you! Please write to us at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com. Music by Hymns of the People can be found here at Spotify or Apple Music Hosted by Spotify for Podcasters.
Welcome back to Season 3 of Darling! Thank you for joining us on this journey together. Today's episode is an honest conversation about how we unintentionally can form a stardom culture in our churches and what we can do about it. www.darlingthepodcast.com Have an idea for a future episode, or a story you want to share? I'd love to hear from you! Please write to us at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com. Music by Hymns of the People can be found here at Spotify or Apple Music Hosted by Spotify for Podcasters.
Well friends, we've made it to the end of Season 2! Thank you for journeying with us on here.  Please enjoy this episode where we summarize the previous episodes in our mini series on paradigm shifts in the church.  We will be back with new episodes in a few months. Have an idea for a future episode, or a story you want to share? I'd love to hear from you! Please write to us at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com. Music by Hymns of the People can be found here at Spotify or Apple Music Hosted by Anchor: It’s everything you need to make a podcast all in one place for free! Download the free Anchor app or go to Anchor.fm to get started.
In our mini-series on the paradigm shifts we're seeing in the church these days, I couldn't believe more strongly that one of the things we NEED to shift away from is racism.  Racism can show up in large, medium and incognito ways.  It is pervasive and something we must be aware of if we are wanting to truly walk in the way of Jesus.  Today's interview is with Creative Director and author, Jenny Booth Potter.  In her book "Doing Nothing is No Longer an Option," Jenny gently guides the reader through her own 20-year journey of discovering and uncovering, repenting and now activating in ways that are intentionally antiracist.  On a personal note, we worked together for years in megachurch world and share stories of confession from our time together.   For more information on Jenny and her work, please visit https://www.jennyboothpotter.com/ Have an idea for a future episode, or a story you want to share? I'd love to hear from you! Please write to us at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com. Music by Hymns of the People can be found here at Spotify or Apple Music Hosted by Anchor: It’s everything you need to make a podcast all in one place for free! Download the free Anchor app or go to Anchor.fm to get started.
Today's conversation is CRUCIAL and NEEDED.  Many of us have experienced toxic leadership in ministry, but we've never been told or shown other ways.  I met these two, Brenna and Bill at an event last fall and their content blew my mind. As we walked through a matrix of leadership styles, they were putting language to all of my experiences that I hadn't been able to pinpoint.   Please listen to this episode and share with anyone who you think could use some encouragement that there is a healthy way to lead and function in a ministry culture. If anyone you know is ready to deep dive into this topic and could benefit from being in a coaching cohort or 1:1 connects, you can reach out to Brenna or Bill at https://smallchurchbigtable.com/contact/ Have an idea for a future episode, or a story you want to share? I'd love to hear from you! Please write to us at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com. Music by Hymns of the People can be found here at Spotify or Apple Music Hosted by Anchor: It’s everything you need to make a podcast all in one place for free! Download the free Anchor app or go to Anchor.fm to get started.
Today we continue our mini series on the paradigm shifts we're seeing in the church in having a conversation with author and pastor, Kevin Sweeney. Kevin and I deep dive into a conversation about the difficulty of // but the true joy in letting go of the things that we are clinging to. Having started and pastored a church in Honolulu for 10 years, and recently discerning it was time to close, Kevin talks honestly about the process of what letting go has looked like throughout the personal and ministry aspects of life.  Have an idea for a future episode, or a story you want to share? I'd love to hear from you! Please write to us at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com. Music by Hymns of the People can be found here at Spotify or Apple Music Hosted by Anchor: It’s everything you need to make a podcast all in one place for free! Download the free Anchor app or go to Anchor.fm to get started.
Today we continue our mini series on the paradigm shifts we're seeing in the church in having a conversation with pastor, poet, prophet Drew Jackson. Drew's works can be found at https://drewejackson.com/books and available wherever books are sold. Drew and I discuss church planting, ministering in an urban environment, and how poetry has become an incredible creative outlet to hold space for the questions.  Have an idea for a future episode, or a story you want to share? I'd love to hear from you! Please write to us at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com. Music by Hymns of the People can be found here at Spotify or Apple Music Hosted by Anchor: It’s everything you need to make a podcast all in one place for free! Download the free Anchor app or go to Anchor.fm to get started.
We are kicking off episode 2 of our mini-series on paradigm shifts in church culture by having a conversation with Kat Harris. Kat Harris is the host of The Refined Collective Podcast, author of Sexless in the City, and Founder of the online publication The Refined Woman. She has also been a full-time photographer for over a decade with her work featured in: The New York Times, WWD, Vanity Fair, GQ, Forbes, People, Who What Wear, US Weekly, Glamour UK and more. In everything she does, her goal is to create a safe space to have honest and layered conversations around faith, sexuality, relationships, culture, identity, and everything in-between. Kat doesn’t pretend to be an expert, or to have all the answers. Far from it. And though it may feel more convenient to have easy black-and-white answers, she invites you to discover God in the grey and unexpected spaces. Her hope is to look doubt in the face, be curious, seek God, and ask meaningful questions to address any ‘elephant in the room’ with openness, nuance and grace. To learn more about Kat and her work, you can visit www.therefinedwoman.com and research her book at sexlessinthecitybook.com Have an idea for a future episode, or a story you want to share? I'd love to hear from you! Please write to us at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com. Music by Hymns of the People can be found here at Spotify or Apple Music Hosted by Anchor: It’s everything you need to make a podcast all in one place for free! Download the free Anchor app or go to Anchor.fm to get started.
Hey Friends! Becky here today as we wrap up our mini series on soul care and how to recover from burnout. I summarize each of the episodes in our soul care series and leave you with some key takeaways.  Be sure and listen through to the end. In a couple weeks, we will begin a mini series on the paradigm shifts we're seeing in church culture these days.  Have an idea for a future episode, or a story you want to share? I'd love to hear from you! Please write to us at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com. Music by Hymns of the People can be found here at Spotify or Apple Music Hosted by Anchor: It’s everything you need to make a podcast all in one place for free! Download the free Anchor app or go to Anchor.fm to get started. LASTLY, YOUR VOICE MATTERS! We want to hear your story and your tips and tools that can be shared here. You can email me at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com or you can DM me on Instagram. A third way we’ve opened up communication is through leaving a voice message at 720-432-8306. Don’t worry, you won’t accidentally get a person picking up the phone. You’ll be able to leave your message at the number and I will review the content for our upcoming episodes.
Welcome back to another mini-series within Season 2! We are diving into the topics of Soul Care and How to Recover After Burnout. Today we get to hear from Josh Collesano. At one point, Josh Collesano was the youngest worship/creative director of a multi-site megachurch in the US. Today, Josh is the creative director of Seek Well (seekwell.org), a ministry that helps men and women follow Jesus in an increasingly busy world by creating experiences to help them slow down, learn to listen to His voice, and seek Him well. Josh lives in Metro Detroit with his wife Rachel and their three kids and believes deeply in the adventure that Jesus invites all of us into. Josh walks beside men in the trenches of life. He wants you to know that the life that Jesus offers ("life to the full") is possible for anyone who is willing to learn to move at the rhythms and pace of Jesus. FINALLY, YOUR VOICE MATTERS! We want to hear your story and your tips and tools that can be shared here. You can email me at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com or you can DM me on Instagram. A third way we’ve opened up communication is through leaving a voice message at 720-432-8306. Don’t worry, you won’t accidentally get a person picking up the phone. You’ll be able to leave your message at the number and I will review the content for our upcoming episodes. Have an idea for a future episode, or a story you want to share? I'd love to hear from you! Please write to us at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com. Music by Hymns of the People can be found here at Spotify or Apple Music Hosted by Anchor: It’s everything you need to make a podcast all in one place for free! Download the free Anchor app or go to Anchor.fm to get started.
Welcome back to another mini-series within Season 2! We are diving into the topics of Soul Care and How to Recover After Burnout. Today we get to sit at the feet of author, mentor, spiritual guide, Mindy Caliguire.  Mindy is the co-founder and president of Soul Care (www.soulcare.com), a spiritual formation ministry that exists to increase “soul health” in the Body of Christ. She serves in senior leadership for Cherith Analytics, and in the past has served in executive leadership at Gloo (www.gloo.us), and at the Willow Creek Association (WCA). She speaks and advises organizations including Stadia Church Planting, various churches and ministries across the US and beyond. The Soul Care team serves organizations including Christ Church of the Valley, Dallas Theological Seminary, Plum Creek Church, and more. Mindy’s books include Discovering Soul Care and Spiritual Friendship, from InterVarsity Press and STIR from Zondervan/HCC. YOUR VOICE MATTERS! We want to hear your story and your tips and tools that can be shared here. You can email me at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com or you can DM me on Instagram. A third way we’ve opened up communication is through leaving a voice message at 720-432-8306. Don’t worry, you won’t accidentally get a person picking up the phone. You’ll be able to leave your message at the number and I will review the content for our upcoming episodes. Have an idea for a future episode, or a story you want to share? I'd love to hear from you! Please write to us at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com. Music by Hymns of the People can be found here at Spotify or Apple Music Hosted by Anchor: It’s everything you need to make a podcast all in one place for free! Download the free Anchor app or go to Anchor.fm to get started.
Hey Friends! Just Becky here today as we wrap up our mini series on why culture development matters. I summarize each of the four episodes in our culture development series and leave you with some key takeaways.  Be sure and listen through to the end. Next week we start a mini series on soul care and tending well to ourselves after burnout.  Have an idea for a future episode, or a story you want to share? I'd love to hear from you! Please write to us at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com. Music by Hymns of the People can be found here at Spotify or Apple Music Hosted by Anchor: It’s everything you need to make a podcast all in one place for free! Download the free Anchor app or go to Anchor.fm to get started. LASTLY, YOUR VOICE MATTERS! We want to hear your story and your tips and tools that can be shared here. You can email me at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com or you can DM me on Instagram. A third way we’ve opened up communication is through leaving a voice message at 720-432-8306. Don’t worry, you won’t accidentally get a person picking up the phone. You’ll be able to leave your message at the number and I will review the content for our upcoming episodes.
Welcome back to another mini-series within Season 2! We are diving into why culture development matters. What are you helping to build?  Are your efforts intentional or unintentional? Any blind spots? Today we talk with an expert on the topic of knowing one's culture, and then building one's brand from that knowledge. Mark Miller is co-author of Culture Built My Brand and president and managing partner at Historic Agency, a brand strategy and innovation partner scaling the reach of the gospel through Kingdom work. Historic has served influential ministries such as Barna Group, Frontiers USA, Rooted Network, Purpose Driven Church, and many others. With more than 18 years of marketing and communications experience, Mark’s heart for ministry is founded in his passion for growing the Kingdom through the local church, missions organizations, and nonprofits.   I learned a ton from this book and I guarantee you'll walk away from listening to this conversation with a few tools and aha's.  Enjoy! www.darlingthepodcast.com Have an idea for a future episode, or a story you want to share? I'd love to hear from you! Please write to us at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com. Music by Hymns of the People can be found here at Spotify or Apple Music Hosted by Anchor: It’s everything you need to make a podcast all in one place for free! Download the free Anchor app or go to Anchor.fm to get started. LASTLY, YOUR VOICE MATTERS! We want to hear your story and your tips and tools that can be shared here. You can email me at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com or you can DM me on Instagram. A third way we’ve opened up communication is through leaving a voice message at 720-432-8306. Don’t worry, you won’t accidentally get a person picking up the phone. You’ll be able to leave your message at the number and I will review the content for our upcoming episodes.
Welcome back to another mini-series within Season 2! For the next little bit, we'll be diving into why culture development matters. What are you helping to build?  Are your efforts intentional or unintentional? Any blind spots? Today we talk about the shepherd role of a ministry leader. How are you feeding your sheep? www.darlingthepodcast.com Have an idea for a future episode, or a story you want to share? I'd love to hear from you! Please write to us at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com. Music by Hymns of the People can be found here at Spotify or Apple Music Hosted by Anchor: It’s everything you need to make a podcast all in one place for free! Download the free Anchor app or go to Anchor.fm to get started. LASTLY, YOUR VOICE MATTERS! We want to hear your story and your tips and tools that can be shared here. You can email me at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com or you can DM me on Instagram. A third way we’ve opened up communication is through leaving a voice message at 720-432-8306. Don’t worry, you won’t accidentally get a person picking up the phone. You’ll be able to leave your message at the number and I will review the content for our upcoming episodes.
We are wrapping up our mini-series on Finding Your Voice with a culmination of wisdom from previous episodes and listener responses!  After this episode, we pivot to a mini-series on the value of developing your work/ministry culture.  We would love to hear your advice and experience with cultivating culture! www.darlingthepodcast.com Have an idea for a future episode, or a story you want to share? I'd love to hear from you! Please write to us at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com. Music by Hymns of the People can be found here at Spotify or Apple Music Hosted by Anchor: It’s everything you need to make a podcast all in one place for free! Download the free Anchor app or go to Anchor.fm to get started. LASTLY, YOUR VOICE MATTERS! We want to hear your story and your tips and tools that can be shared here. You can email me at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com or you can DM me on Instagram. A third way we’ve opened up communication is through leaving a voice message at 720-432-8306. Don’t worry, you won’t accidentally get a person picking up the phone. You’ll be able to leave your message at the number and I will review the content for our upcoming episodes.
Welcome back friend to Season 2 of Darling, Confessions of a Former Megachurch Singer! Today we are joined by an award winning vocalist and coach, Karen Breidert.  Regardless of the stream you find yourself in, there are gems in this episode that translate to anyone who is interested in honing their coaching voice.  www.darlingthepodcast.com Have an idea for a future episode, or a story you want to share? I'd love to hear from you! Please write to us at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com. Music by Hymns of the People can be found here at Spotify or Apple Music Hosted by Anchor: It’s everything you need to make a podcast all in one place for free! Download the free Anchor app or go to Anchor.fm to get started. LASTLY, YOUR VOICE MATTERS! We want to hear your story and your tips and tools that can be shared here. You can email me at darlingthepodcast@gmail.com or you can DM me on Instagram. A third way we’ve opened up communication is through leaving a voice message at 720-432-8306. Don’t worry, you won’t accidentally get a person picking up the phone. You’ll be able to leave your message at the number and I will review the content for our upcoming episodes.
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